Regrets and
by AlexDN
Summary: After "Rule 51" . Vance sends Tony to Mexico . When the team will find out the truth , will it be too late ? Gibbs&Tony/Father&Son - Crime/Horror/Pain/Regrets - No Tiva - No slash .
1. Chapter 1

- Ciao ! This is my first Fiction on this site and I'm Italian , so please , be kind with me :) I want to thank Le Bibliothecaire and SnoopMaryMar , for their help .

- Sadly , I do not own anything of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_Chapter 1_

**Washington Navy Yard**

Special Agent Timothy McGee left the elevator and went to his desk, but passing by DiNozzo's desk, he slowed down shaking his head and sighing. It was abot 0705 a.m. and he was alone into the Squadroom.

He took his jacket off, put his weapon into the drawer and turned on his computer, but he couldn't stop looking at Tony's empty desk.

_Why_? He took Tony's Mouse Stappler in his hand. _I've always like it, but I never told him; why didn't I ? It'd have been nice and he'd have liked it. Why have I been inconstant to him ? _

_One day I scoffed him and the another day I was jelous just because he found a new friend that treated him better than me. Why have I been so stupid ? Because he was annoying , Tim ! _He answered to his own question. _No, he was not annoying; he was just Tony; the man that helped me more than anyone else when I killed that cop. He made me grown up and become more confident. He taught me who is a real friend and who is a great man. I'll never forget when he's come down in Autopsy , when I was alone with Kate's body. _He sighed .

Turning he saw a brown box on the floor, next to the desk, so he took it up and started filling it, with all Tony's things.

Tim opened all drawers and found all Tony's stuff: GSM Magazines, a clean black D&G shirt, eletric razor, aftershave, toothbrush and toothpaste, candy bars, cookies and lot of other things.

Then he opened the last drawer, on the right side of the desk and he found a big iron locked box. He put it on the desk and after some exertions, he opened were all Gibbs' medals and three photos. McGee looked at them carefully.

"When he was a child," he whispered.

In the first photo, Tony was about three years old and he was at the seaside with a woman. They were smiling and playing with the sand _His mother, definitely. They're identical!_

In the second photo he was about 10. He was under a snowfall with another woman. She was hugging him and they were laughing.

But, it was the third photo that really caught Tim's attention. Tony wore his OSU t-shirt and jacket and he was with a red-haired woman. They were sat on the grass chatting and they looked very happy and carefree. It semeed to Tim that they were at campus.

"Who are you ?", whispered McGee. _If Tony keeps your photo into this box you must be very important to him. But it doesn't matter anymore_.

He put the photos into the box and turned on Tony's computer, to check his personal emails.

"What are you doing, McGee ?" asked a man's voice, behind him. Tim statlerd.

"Director Vance; Sir ... ehm ," jumped the agent, swallowing,"I was; I mean; I thought that I could answer his personal emails and explain ...", he couldn't go on.

"You emptied his desk," observed the Director. "Why?"

"I had to , sir. I owed him." sighed the young agent.

Vance just nodded and went back to his office as he said,"David is at Andrews Air Base. She'll bring Gibbs here as soon as he lands."

"Yes, sir." answered McGee. _How can I look at Gibbs?_

**Andrews Air Base - Washington D.C.**

The C-130 landed in time. Ziva was not far from the runway, waiting for her Boss _What could I tell him ?Nothing. There's nothing to say._

Her thoughts stopped as soon as she saw Gibbs.

Even from afar, she realized that he was no longer the man had left from D.C. just few days ago.

His strengh was disappeared along with his grin. Even his famous stare was vanished and in its place there was nothing. Gibbs' eyes were empty and blank.

The proud bearing of the former Gunnery Seargent had given way to a slow and uncertain pace. His shoulders were curved as he bore the weight of the entire world.

"Hi, Gibbs." she whispered, taking his bag in her hands and he didn't stop her. _Oh , my God! This is not Gibbs._

It takes less than half a hour to go from Andrews to Navy Yard and despite Ziva's attempts, Gibbs didn't say a word. He just stared the streets out of the car's window.

**Navy Yard - NCIS Building **

McGee was at his desk staring his computer's monitor.

Someone touched his shoulder. "Timothy," said Ducky,"Have they already arrived?"

The younger man looked at him dazed and stared Abby behind the ME. _Where's her Goth make-up ?_

"Am I late?" asked Palmer coming from the Autopsy.

_DING !_

The elevator's doors opened and Gibbs and Ziva came out. Abby run to Gibbs and hugged him but he didn't spare her gesture of affection.

He just went to his desk. Opened a drawer. Took out two files. Signed one of them and went to Vance's office, leaving them to stare him.

Ducky followed Gibbs saying. "Jethro ... Jethro !" He stopped and looked at the ME that asked ,"Where is he?"

"Not here."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's not here and he'll never..." A lump closed the boss' throat.

"His body, Jethro. I need his body for..." started the doctor , but he was stopped by Gibbs sharp voice.

"There's no body, Duck ! There's not a damn DNA! There's nothing! He's got blown up to save us. _TONY'S DEAD AND HE'LL NEVER COME BACK!_"

Hearing those words from Gibbs' mouth, made that horrible news become true. It seemed as if the the time had stopped and they had stopped breathing.

No more jokes. No more smiles. No more laughs.

No more movies' quotes. No more funny teasings. No more "Probie !" or nicknames.

No more happiness. No more the elder brother. No more their friend.

No more reassuring looks. No more protection. No more care.

No more their Senior Field Agent. No more 'Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo

.

Nothing has remained. Not even a body to whom to say goodbye.

_No More Tony..._

No one could stop the tears.

TBC .

Please , review , review , review !

I know that this chapter is very sad , but ... do not despair ! *wink*


	2. Chapter 2

N.B. : I do not own anything of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 2 ._

Gibbs stormed into the Director's office and threw two files on Vance's desk . One of them fall down on his legs .

"What the hell ... !" shouted the Director .

"Shut up ! Do not say a word , Leon !" bursted out hte agent .

Standing up , Vance shouted ,"Agent Gibbs ! I'm your ... "

"What ? My Director ?"

"Yes and I could fire you whenever I want ! So do not ..."

"What ?"

"I know that you're angry for what happened to DiNozzo , but ... "

" Do not dare to say his name ... you're not even worthy to eat where he walks !" then he stopped and added , sadly ,"Where he walked ,"

"Gibbs !"

"That's my resignation ," said Gibbs , pointing to the files in Vance's hands ,"And ... the other one is ... Tony's file ,"

"I've already read it , when I became Director ," replied Vance , with a smirk .

"Really ? I thought you hadn't even opened it ," grinned Gibbs , furious .

"What do you mean ?"

"If you had read it carefullly , you'd have understood that he is ... was the best agent that we had and you'd have never treated him as a pin in your ass ," explained Gibbs , glacily .

"I've assigned him a main mission in Mexico ,"

"You should have sent me there ! And you know that damn well !"

"You're in pain and really upset ... Tony was much more than just an agent for you , I know that ... and I understand your reaction , and ... for this reason , I'll not accuse you of insubordination ,"

"I don't care ," chuckled Gibbs , angrly "I wouldn't care even if you accused me of murder ... I'm done with all this crap !" Gibbs barked , going out of the office .

"And now ?" asked Abby , sniffing .

"What do you think is happening upstair ?" asked Ziva .

"Something bad ... judging from Gibbs' face ," sighed McGee .

"Jethro is going to leave us ," whispered Ducky .

"What ?" asked the others , simultaneously .

"He could never work here without Tony ... never ... Tony was the son he has never had ... he was his 'boy' , his friend ... probably the person who knew him better than anyone else ... Jethro'll never stay here after Anthony 's death ," explained the ME , swallowing and drying his eyes .

"How could we work without Gibbs ?" asked Ziva , shocked .

"Work ?" shouted Abby , angrly ,"Are really thinking about your job now ?" she went to Ziva and faced her ,"After all Tony's gone through to save you , instead of your father , you're thinking about your job ? And working without Gibbs ? And ... how will it be working without Tony ? How it will be _LIVING _without Tony ? ... _Tony is dead Ziva ! Do you understand what that means ?_" she shouted to her face and if McGee hadn't stopped her , she'd have certainly slapped her .

Gibbs arrived in that moment , but he didn't do anything to stop the quarrel .

"Boss ?" said McGee .

"I'm not your Boss , McGee ... not anymore ,"

"Jethro are you sure of your mind ?" asked Ducky .

Gibbs just stared him , then he went to McGee and gave him his badge and his gun ,"Could you give Vance these , please ?"

"Yes , Boss ... I mean , Gibbs ," swallowed Tim , shocked . "_The last time he quitted , he gave Tony his badge and his gun ... and his team too ... why doesn't he do the same with me ?_"

Gibbs turned to look all of them ,"The Director will give you a new Boss and a new agent . McGee will be the new Senior Field Agent ," , then he talked just for the agents ,"Ziva , I just hope that you and the new agent will treat him better than how you and McGee have treated Tony ... you've lost a big chance , guys ... you could have learned many things from Tony ... if you only had listened to him and watched him , instead of scoffing him like annoying children or rolling your eyes everytime he opened his mouth ,"

Ziva opened her mouth to say something , but Gibbs ashed her with a glance .

"Duck ... keep an eye on all of them , please ," he said , squeezing the ME's shoulder and then he went to elevator . Before pushing the button , he stopped in front of Palmer ,"I know that you and Tony were very closed friends and how you respected him ... I'm sorry for you loss , Jimmy ... I understand what you're feeling ," he squeezed the young man' shoulder , trying to comfort him ,"Tony thinks really high of you ... ehm ... he _thought_ really high of you and I'm sure he'd like you had his cup of American Pie ," smiled Gibbs softly . His first smile in so many days . Palmer just nodded , crying silently .

"Gibbs ," sighed Abby . She run him and hugged him ,"I can't stay here without you and Tony ," she whispered to his ear ,"What have I got to do now ?"

"I don't now , Abs ... I really don't know ," he whispered to her ear , then he looked her ,"But , I'm sure that Tony would have never wanted you to leave your job ,"

"But ... it wouldn't be the same without ..."

"Nothing will be same , Abby ... nothing ,"

"What will you do ? ... You can't disappear from my life ... you can't ," she whimpered .

He whispered to her ear ,"If you'll need , I'll be in Stillwater ," and kissed her cheeck .

He looked the Squadroom for the last time and ... he saw Tony , smiling from his desk .

He closed his eyes , turned and went into the elevator .

"_Nothing will be the same ... Damn , DiNozzo ! Why didn't you let me die instead of you ? Why did you save me and Mike ?_"

Gibbs stopped the NCIS' elevator for the last time in his life and leaning against the elevator's wall , closing his eyes , he tried to breathe .

Reaching into his pants pocket , he touched a small thing . He pulled it out and stared it . He had forgotten that it was there .

"_All that remains of Tony" _he thought , swallowing ,"_A little platinum pendant with a little diamon ... a little 'A' ... just this ,_" .

He remembered when a Mexican cop had gaven him it . It wasn't a typical DiNozzo's thing , but they'd found it next to the shreds of his shirt . There were Tony's DNA on the pendant and a partial Tony's finger print ... so it had to be his . He turned it and he saw something engraved in the metal . With some effort , he managed to read "From A. to A." .

"_'A' ?_" he frowned , but shrugging ,"_It doesn't matter ,_" he sighed .

Just this . An unknown little pendant .

Gibbs realesed the elevator . He couldn't stay there another minute . He had to go away .

TBC

* * *

Please , review ! Thanks :)


	3. Chapter 3

N.B. : I do not own anything of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 3 ._

**Stillwater , Pennsylvania .**

"Yes , Mrs. Farrell . This Italian pancetta is perfect for you 'spaghetti alla carbonara' ," smiled Jackson Gibbs , talking with his plummer's wife ,"I'm sure that your husband , Sam and your grandsons will really like it ,"

"How do you know that this perfect for my recipe ? I've always used bacon ," she asked , doubtfully .

"Leroy's Senior Field Agent told me that and cooked it for me . He's Italian and he's a very good cook ,indeed !" smiled the old man . He still remembered that nice evening that he had spent , some months ago , at his son's place , with him and Tony . He really liked that guy .

Tony reminded Jack his son , before some rough events of his life ruined his happy spirit and his cheeky smile . Gibbs was a father to Tony , and he was sure that Leroy loved Tony as a son and he'd liked that it were true , because it would meant that he could have loved that young man as a grandson .

The drugstore's door opened and Gibbs entered .

"Leroy ! What are you doing here , son ?" smiled the old man .

"Hi ," he said , seriously .

"I was telling Mrs Farrell about you and Tony and his famous 'spaghetti all carbonara' ... how's he ?" Jack asked , smiling .

Gibbs just stared him and the old man understood that something bad had happened , so when his client was gone , he asked concerned ,"What's happened to Tony ?"

Gibbs turned away from his father look . He didn't want to show him the tears in his eyes .

His father went to him , touched his shoulder and made him look at him ,"Leroy ..." he whispered .

Only another time he had seen that look in his son's eyes . When Shannon and Kelly died . He swallowed , wating for an answer , that came as a sigh ,"He's dead ," , whispered Gibbs .

The father hugged his son , tightly . "He died saving me ," . Gibbs was crying .

Jackson closed his store and hang a notice on the door : "Sorry , we're close . Family's issues"

The two men went to Gibbs family's house . Gibbs brought his suitcase into his old bedroom and then he reached his father in the kitchen .

Jack poured some coffee and they sat at the table . After 15 minutes of heavy silence , Jackson whispered ,"What happened ?"

"I've lost him ," sighed Gibbs , staring his cup .

"How ?"

"He got blown up ,"

The older closed his eyes , wincing ,"I'm so sorry ... Did he suffer ?"

"No , it was too sudden , but ... " he swallowed ,"He knew that he was going to die ... he was already badly injured ... they had already beaten him almost to death ... and all ... 'cause of me ,"

"Leroy ..."

"He was in Mexico to save Mike's family and ... " he swallowed "And ... to do my job , because Vance wanted to shut down the drug cartel and I ... I couldn't go there !" he roared .

"Oh , my God ," sighed the older man , thinking ,"_You were exepandable for your own Director ... my poor boy ,_"

"Thanks to him , we stopped Pamela Reynosa , when she tried to kill you ... but I couldn't stop his people to kill Tony in Mexico and ... all this because I killed her father to ..."

"Avenge Shannon and Kelly's death ," concluded his father .

"So , it's all my fault , dad ," sighed Gibbs , defeated .

"What are you going to do now ?"

"I quit ..."

"What ?"

"I left NCIS and I'll never go back ,"

"Do you think this is the right choice ?"

"I can't work there ... not without Tony ... I'd see him everywhere ," and swallowing he added ,"I can't ..."

"Do you think that he's sicrified his life just to see you throw away yours ? Do you think he would be happy to see you throwing away all that you two worked for ? You can't do that to him !" Jack said , firmly .

"He's not here , so it doesn't matter !" roared his son .

"And what about the others ? Do you think Tony would be happy to know that we've left them alone ? ... He did everything to make you proud of him ..."

"An he did it ... I am ... I was so proud of him ,"

"And 'ya think he would be proud of you now ?"

Gibbs raised his eyes and 'saw' Tony's angry look , in Autopsy , after 'Domino plan' or on the plane that had brought them home from Mexico ,"No , he wouldn't ," he whispered , grinnig softly .

"You can't disappoint your 'boy' ... or better ... your son ," Jack said softly , and seeing his son's suprised look , he added ,"Oh , come on , Leroy ! I'm old , but I'm not stupid ! I've seen you together and I know how important you were to him and ... how important Tony was to you , so I understand why you think you can no longer work at NCIS ... but you can't make his sacrifice vain ,"

The old man stood up , squezzed his son's shoulder and left him alone .

Gibbs needed to think . He knew that his father was right . Tony would have never wanted him to quit his team , but ... no ! He couldn't go back to NCIS and see someone else at Tony's desk .

Never !

**Washington D.C.**

Vance had given them a day off-duty , but they were still in the Squadroom . They wanted to stay alone , but they couldn't go anywhere . Leaving NCIS Building was as leaving Tony alone . They felt that , if they had gone home , they would have accepted his death ... they couldn't .

Ducky broke the heavy silence ,"Did someone call Anthony's father ?"

"Yes , the Director did , two days ago ... after Gibbs' call from Mexico ?" answered McGee .

"What did he say ?" asked the ME .

"They agreed to do the funeral here in DC , since Tony's friends are almost all here ," swallowed the Agent ,"Then , there will be a private ceremony for his family in Long Island ... and they buried his ... well , they'll put a photo next to his mother's on their family's tomb ," he swallowed again , trying to push back the tears .

Abby hugged him crying . Ducky nodded patting Jimmy's back , that was trying to not cry .

Ziva looked all of them and , without saying a word , went away .

"Ziva ! Where are you going ?" McGee called her .

She didn't answer . She just took the stairs and ran away . She couldn't breathe .

Some minutes later , Ziva was running along the Potomac River , crying all her tears .

"_Why , Tony ? You were ... you were so many things for me ... you were my friend , my older brother , my stone ... you understood me more than anyone else , even if , probably , you've never realized it ... we could have even been lovers , but we didn't because ... because you were so correct and respectful with me ... you've always respected me , more than I've ever respected you ... you had my back ... you always had my back and I ... I've been so stupid and mean with you . You've saved my life so many times ... I was the tough assassin , the ultra-trained officer , but ... it was you who's risked more to save me ... my stupid and wothless life . What will I do now ? What will I do without you ?_".

She stopped , panting , in the middle of the Arlington Memorial Bridge and looked around . Everything looked like so normal . So annoyingly normal !

The traffic . The river . The sky . The sun . For the rest of the world that was just another normal working day . Nothing else .

But for Ziva , it wouldn't be the same again . She has lost her best friend , her brother . The man that had tought her what was the love for another person , without ulterior motives , if not the care and affection that only family's members share .

"_I want you back , Tony !_" her soul was shouting .

"Come on , Jimmy . I'll drive you home ," said Ducky . The young ME nodded , following him . He needed someone who told him what to do .

Jimmy has lost the first real friend that he had ever had . Tony called him "Autopsy Gremlin" , but he respected him too . Tony had helped him to become more confident in himself and with women .

In the last few years , they've spent a lot of time together and they've got along very well . It was easy to be Tony's friend . He was always nice and happy . He seemed care-free and juvenile , it was just a mask . Tony was a caring and deep man , that was always there everytime he needed someone to talk .

DiNozzo was a great person and he wanted him back in his life .

Mr. Palmer was in the locker room , changing his clothes , so Ducky was alone in the Autopsy . "Oh , Anthony , I'm so sorry ," he sighed . He had said the same word to Kate's corpse , but now he didn't even have a body to talk to .

Ducky opened Tony's file , sighing . Only a few sheets of paper that told many things about the valiant and very competent Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo , but that didn't say anything about the man that they had learned to love and estimate .

"_How many things you hid in your heart , my boy ... how much sorrow and despation behind that charming and impertinent smile ... and ... how much love you've given all of us , though nobody has never taught you how to love or take care of another human being . You taught to yourself how to be a honest , loyal and caring man ... and you've done a really good job , my dear ... you were our joy , thoughtlessness and smiles , but you were also our ... love for life and for this unsual family ... you've protect this family more than anyone else and I don't really know what we'll do without you,_"

He felt so old and tired . Maybe that was the right moment to retire . Anthony's death has been the final blow .

McGee and Abby were still in the office and she was still crying in his arms .

"Abs , please .. stop crying ," whispered Tim , folding her back .

"I can't ," she sobbed "I want him back ... he should be here , smiling and teasing you ,"

"I know ," sighed Tim , thinking ,"_And you can't even image how much I'd like to hear one of his 'McSomething' or have my fingers glued to my keyboard !" _

"Why ?" , she whispered .

"I don't know , Abby ,"

"Why Gibbs didn't save him ? Tony was in Mexico for him and he didn't save him !" she cried , detaching from his hug ,"And Franks ? Tony's already saved his daughter-in-law and his granddaughter ! He owed Tony everything !" she bursted out .

"Abby , calm down , please ," said McGee quitely .

"Calm down ? How can you say that ? How can you be so calm ? Don't you care about Tony ?" she was so angry and upset . She needed someone to blame .

"What ?" barked Tim ,"How you dare tosay such a thing ?"

Abby looked at him shocked . She's never seen Timmy so angry and furious .

"Tony was my Senior Field Agent . The man that taught me how to be a good Agent ..."

"More than Gibbs ?" she asked surprised , sniffing .

"Gibbs was the boss , the model for all of us , but Tony was the teacher . The go-between that deflected Gibbs' anger and headslaps . Gibbs is right ... " he swallowed ,"I should have listened to him more , instead of thinking that I'm ... I was better than him ... Now that he's gone , I understad what he's done for me and what kind of man he was ... Tony was the best friend that I've ever had and ... I'll never be able to tell him ," . Tears was runnig down his cheeks .

"Oh , Timmy ," sobbed Abby , hugging him , thightly .

"I miss him ," whispered Tim .

"Me too ," whispered Abby , remembering Tony's hug and words , when Ari killed Kate .

_"What will we do without him ?" _they all were thinking .

TBC .

Please , review ! Thanks :)


	4. Chapter 4

N.B. : I do not own anything of NCIS .

No Beta Reader. Sorry :)

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 4 ._

**Washington D.C.**

The funeral , of better the memorial service took place 2 days later at St. Peter Catholic Church , not far from the Navy Yard

It was a sunny and bright morning in late September . "_Tony would have liked this day ,_" Ducky smiled sadly , admiring the imposing facade of the chuch ,"_But he would have chosen a simpler church ,_" grinned , softly .

On the left side of the church's nave , there was Tony's family , all gathered around Anthony DiNozzo Sr. The old man seemed devasted and much older than last time they had seen him .

On the other side , there was Tony's real family ... his NCIS family . Their eyes were blank and full of tears .

On the altar , on a little table sorrounded by flowers , there was a Tony's photo . He was smiling one of his famous charming smile , but they could see his stares , his grins , his sad looks . They could see every single moments that they'd lived and shared with him . Without him their lives seemed so empty and meaningless .

Director Vance had tried to get Gibbs to say something at the memorial , but he had answered with a firm "no" , despite Jack and Ducky's attempts . He couldn't tell anything . How could he explain them who was Tony ? Or how was their relationship ? It was so complicated or ... no . Actually , it was very simple ... "_You were my best friend and my son ... but I can't say it in front of your father ,_" Gibbs thought , 'talking' to his SFA .

After the Mass , some of Tony's friend , from OSU and Philadelphia and Baltimore PD , gave their eulogies filled with laughs and tears . His former Boss at Baltimore PD Homicide Dept. praised is work as a detective and scolded Gibbs ,"You've stolen the best detective I've ever had . I'll never forgive you for that ," he smiled .

Gibbs just smiled sadly and looked at Tony's father . The older man was staring him and Gibb understood that he was realizing how wuonderful had been his son and what he had lost , neglecting him . "_Too late ,_" thought the Agent .

Vance gave a good eulogy of Special Anget Anthony DiNozzo , acknowledging his competence , his courage and his sense of duty . "_And he died because of that damn sense of duty ! ... Stop talking about him ! You have no right to say his name !_" Gibbs was thinking , staring Leon .

After Vance's speech , the preist said ,"Someone else ?" . Nobody moved , so he went to the altar to conclude the ceremony when , suddenly , a man stood up and went to the pulpit .

"Good morning , I'm Special Agent Timothy McGee or ... as Tony says ... ehm , sorry ... as Tony said , 'Probie' ," they all smiled ,"I've worked with Tony for 6 years and it hasn't been a easy walk ," he grinned , looking at Tony's photos ,"I could tell you a buch of stories about his teasings and pranks ... for example , when he glued my hands to my keyboard ... or how many nicknames he gave me ," he swallowed ,"All of you know his happy face , but ..." he dryed a tear on his cheek ,"But that wasn't the real Tony ... or better , that was just a little part of his huge personality ... some of us ... the luckiest ones , had known the man behind that mask . The sweet , caring , loyal , honest and ultra protective man , that always had our backs ... the man that would have sacrified his life for a friend ... as he's done ," he whispered ,"The man that wasn't afraid of being beaten and drugged by a terrorist just to avenge and then save a friend ," he looked at Ziva . She was crying ."The man that was always there , when you needed a hug ," he looked at a devasted Abby ,"Or a friend to talk to ... as he's done with me , the first time I shot a man or when Kate died ," he swallowed again ,"Tony's taught me lots of things and only now ... now that I've lost him , I understand how important he's been for my life and my job . He was my Senior Field Agent , but also my elder brother , who tormented me to ready me for the worst moments ... like this one ," he looked at Tony's photo again ,"You taught me how to face the tension , the dead bodies and all the horrible aspects of our job ... I've never told you it , but probably you were my best friend ... tough in a weird way ," he smiled sadly . He silented for a moment then , crying softly , he said ,"I can't tell you 'goodbye' ... I can't ... so ... so ... I'll just tell you 'see you soon' ... in my mind , when I'll not be able to figure out how to solve a case or how to teach something to a new probie ... and in my heart , when I'll need ... a reassurance glance or a 'Good job , Probie !' ... Ciao , Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo ," , he whispered , sobbing .

When he arrived at the pew , Gibbs squeezed his shoulder and said ,"He would be proud of his probie ," . Tim just nodded , while Abby was hugging him , crying .

At the funeral party at Gibbs' house , everyone talked and shared stories about Tony , but not the NCIS family . After about an hour , they were all sitting in the ganden in silence , remembering what they've lost .

**The day after the funeral.**

The phone on Abby's desk rang .

"Yes ?" she said , sadly .

"I need to talk to Miss Abigail Sciuto ," said a male voice .

"It's me ," she answered distracticly . In those days , it seemed that she didn't care about anything .

"Are you sure ?" asked the man , surprised .

"Yes ," she answered annoyed ,"Who are you ?"

"I'm Trent Kort from ..."

"CIA ... what do you want agent Kort ?" she asked , unkindly . Tony couldn't stand him , so Abby hated him .

"I need to talk to Gibbs , but he doesn't answer his cell and a man told me that he's no longer at NCIS ,"

"Yes ... "she swallowed ,"He quitted after ..." a lump closed her throat .

"DiNozzo's death ," he concluded ,"Yeah , I figured it out ,"

"So ? Why do you wanna talk to him ? If it's about a case , you should talk to our new team leader ," she said , sadly .

"Don't you like him ?" he grinned on the other end of the line .

"No , I like him , but it's just ..."

"It's not Gibbs , right ?"

"Yes ," she answered . Suddenly , she realized that she was chatting friendly with that horrible man and he was nice to her "_Hincky !_" , she thought and asked ,"Do you wanna talk to the team leader ? Ehi ! ... Why didn't you call Vance ?". He could see her angry eyes .

"Is he on your 'black list' too ?"

"Yes ," she grinned ,"Now , could you answer me , please ?"

"Ok ... it could be about a case , but I need Gibbs ... or better _you_ need Gibbs ... _all of you ,_"

"What do you mean ?" she asked , really surprised .

"This is not a secure line ,"

"Actually , nor Gibbs' phone is secure ,"

"Yes , but nobody records all Gibbs' calls ... I need a number , Abby ... quickly ," he said . She could hear the urgency in his voice .

"Ok . I'll give his father's phone number in Stillwater ," and so she did , then she asked ,"Can't you tell me anything ?"

"I just can tell you that ... if Gibbs will listen to me , all of you will thank me for the rest of your life ,"

"What ? Why ? ... Kort ? Trent ? Are you still there ?" Abby asked , but the CIA agent had already hung up .

She looked at Tony's photo and said ,"Do not be mad to me ! ... I didn't want to talk to him , but he needed Gibbs ... ok , I know ... if Kort is involved , something weird is going to happen ... probably bad... but , maybe he's not so bad , this time ... ok ! I won't trust him ! I swear !" she could see his sly stare "_I miss you , Tony ... so much ,_" she thought , sighing .

Just after his call with Abby , Kort called Gibbs at his father's home , but sadly , nobody answered . It seemed that the Gibbs had disappeared from the face of the earth . "_Damn , Gibbs ! Where are you? I need to talk with you , immediately ! It's matter of life or death !_", thought the CIA agent , frustrated and angry .

The new team leader arrived at NCIS HQ , after a long assigment as Agent Afloat on aircrafts . He's been Gibbs' SFA before Tony , and his name was Stan Burley . Abby and Ducky were happy that Vance had chosen a man that they already knew . But Ziva and McGee couldn't stand him from the first moment . They couldn't accept the idea that they would have seen him at Gibbs' desk everyday . It was an unacceptable affront !

McGee also thought ,"_That should be my desk !_", but now his desk was Tony's desk, and he felt really uncomfortable on that chair.

Not to mention the new probie ! His name was John Kennedy. "A great man's name for a very clumsy boy!" had sentenced McGee, after two hours with him . He arrived directly from FLECT and he was so unsure and shy. "_I wasn't like him !_" thought the new SFA, but looking at Tony's Mouse Stappler on his desk, he grinned , "_How could you stand me , Tony ? ... I'd like to kill him everytime he opens his mouth !_"

The all team tried to work as better as they can, but something was missing . The pleasure of working together was disappeared. In the past they couldn't wait to go to NCIS every morning, but now it was just routine.

Sit at your desk. Investigate. Catch a bad guy. Close a case. Just this ... even Abby's lab was silent and Ducky didn't tell them his stories anymore.

TBC .

Please , review ! Thanks :)


	5. Chapter 5

N.B. : I do not own anything of NCIS .

_**"Regrets and ..."**_

_Chapter 5 ._

**Pennsylvania .**

Just after Tony's funeral , Gibbs and his father went back to Stillwater . The former NCIS Agent couldn't stay in D.C. any longer . Every place of that city reminded him his SFA .

During the over-four-hours trip he said just few words , while his father was looking at him really worried .

When Shannon and Kelly died , his son had , at least , his thirst of revenge to keep him company , but now he was completely alone . All bad guys that had killed Tony were dead or escaped , and he couldn't even hunt them down .

"Give me your cell ," said Jack , suddenly .

"What ?" asked Gibbs , surprised .

"Give me you cell , Leroy ," repeated the older man .

"I turned it off ," he answered , unkindly .

"Well , turn it on . I need to make a call ,"

"Who do you wanna call ?" asked , suspiciously .

"My brother ,"

"Uncle Bob ? Why ?"

"He has a cabin by a lake in Rothrock State Forest , in Spring Mills ,"

"And ?"

"And we're going there ,"

"No way !"

"Oh , yes ... Leroy , you need some rest and ... "

"I'm fine !" exclaimed his son , lying . How many times he had heard those two words from an injured or bothered Tony .

"And you need some time to heal from all that's happened ," he explained , squeezing his arm ,"Trust me ... it'll be good for you ," he smiled , softly .

Gibbs nodded and gave his father the cell , but just after the end of the call , he turned it off again .

In the early evening , they went into the little , but very comfortable cabin . It was surrounded by a pine forest and a ten minutes walk , there was a clear lake teeming with fish .

It would have been a paradise , if Gibbs wasn't living in a personal hell .

Late at night , Jackson woke up and found his son sitting on the little porch , staring the starry sky . He sat next to him .

"Can't sleep ?" asked the older man .

"Yep ," Gibbs answered , keeping of staring the sky .

"What are you thinking about ?" he asked , softly .

"I could have saved him ," he whispered .

"Do you wanna talk ?"

"It's a long story , dad ," he sighed .

"I'm not sleepy ... come on , Leroy ... spit it out or ... you'll go crazy ,"

Gibbs stared his father for a long moment and then ,"Less than twenty days ago , I found out that Vance had sent Tony to Mexico to observe and report about Alejandro Rivera ... Paloma's brother ,"

"How did you find out it ? Didn't he tell you anything before sending Tony there ?"

"No ... I found out everything just because Ziva asked me why , Tony and I had missed her oath ceremony ," he explained , angrly .

"And what did you do ?"

"I went to the Director for an explanation ..."

**Washington D.C. **

"McGee !" shouted Abby coming from her lab .

Tim jumped on his chair , saying ,"Abby , do you wanna kill me ?"

"Why didn't you tell me anything ?"

"Excuse me ?"

"Don't do that to me , Timmy !" she scolding him .

"Do , what ? Abby , what are you talking about ?"

"I know everything ... no , actually I don't know anything ... or , maybe just something ... or ..."

"What's she saying ?" asked Ziva confused , from her desk .

"I'd really like to know ," answered McGee , very confused as well .

"I've talked with Kort , so ..." started the Goth .

"You did what ?" exclaimed Ziva .

"You talked to the evil agent ? Why ?" exclaimed Tim .

"You didn't ? ... Didn't you talk to him too ?" Abby asked really surprised .

"Why on earth I should have talked to Kort ?" asked the new SFA .

"And most important , why did he call you ? And what did he want ?" asked Ziva .

"He needed to talk with Gibbs, immediately ,"

"Why ?" asked McGee , suspiciously .

"I don't know ... he just told me that , if Gibbs had listened to him , we'd have thanked him for the rest of our lives ,"

They stared each other astonished . "Hincky ," they whispered , simoultaneosly .

**CIA , Langley , VA .**

Kort had already called Gibbs' father number , at least , ten times , but nothing . No answer .

"Fuck !" he roared , slammming down the receiver ,"Where the hell are you , Gibbs ?" . "_I'll call him later ,"_ he thought , picking up a file , but slamming it down on the desk , immediately ,"_I can't call him later , because it could be ... TOO LATE !_" , then he said "Ok ... desperate times , desperate measures !"

"Sorry , Sir ?" asked his secretary , standing in front of his desk . He hadn't even noticed that she'd come in .

"What do you need , Lois ?" he asked , smiling . "_DiNozzo would certainly have quoted Lois Lane and Superman ,_" he thought , grinning .

"I need you signs on these reports of Afghanistan's situation ," she answered .

"The situation in Afghanistan ? There's the war in Afghanistan , what else they need to know ?" he roared , standing up and going out of his office . "_I'm an Operative , not a damn bureaucrat !_"

"Sir !" Lois called him .

Trent went straight into Research Dept. He knew very well what he needed and he also knew the man for that task : Sheldon Smith .

At a first sight , he seemed an insignificant and a little clumsy man . Shy , red hair , faded blue eyes , big glasses and freckels . The typical geek that everyone teased , but that all called when they had a problem .

"Shel !"

The man jumped on his chair , panting ,"Yeah ,"

"I need to find a man ,"

"I'm in the middle of a research for ..."

"Now !"

"O ... OK ... Name ?" asked , frantically typing on his keyboard .

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs ,"

"Last time saw ..."

"Washington D.C. , yesterday . He was going to Stillwater , Pennsylvania ,"

"Plane ?"

"No , car ," he read a little sheet of paper ,"Yellow - black 1971 426 Hemi RT . Pennsylvania's plate , LJG 8176 ,"

"Ok ," Shel said , keeping to type . After few seconds he said , "According to the traffic cameras , he arrived in Stillwater yesterday , early evening , but then he left again ,"

"Where ?"

"Trough Creek State Forest , Pennsylvania."

"Why ?" Kort thought , loudly .

"I don't know ," he answered , uncomfortable .

The agent looked at him badly and added ,"Relatives in Stillwater ?"

"His father ..."

"I know that !"

"And an uncle ... Robert M. Gibbs , his father's brother ,"

"His phone number !"

"Just a moment ... ok , 570 356-215 ,"

"Thanks ," he said , going to his office and calling the man with his cell .

"Sir , the reports are on ..." Lois tried to say , but he closed the door on her face .

"Mr. Gibbs ? Mr. Robert M. Gibbs ?" he asked , when a man answered the phone .

"Who are you ?" asked the other , roughly .

"_Good manners are not a family's virtue ," _thought Kort ,"I'm Agent Kort , CIA ,"

Laughing the man said ,"And I'm John Wayne , cow boy ... nice try , guy !" and hang up .

"Mr. Gibbs , I ... fuck ! All stubborn bastards !" cursed Kort , calling the man again ,"Mr. Gibbs , please , listen to me ,"

"You're a little annoying , boy !"

"I need to talk to your nephew Jethro . It's very important ,"

Then older man , felt a strange sense of anxiety in that man's voice ,"Leroy is not here , he's at my cabin in Rothrock Forest , with his father ,"

"I know that ... how can I talk to him ? He didn't answer his cell ,"

"Actually , we can't . There's no phone in my cabin ... sorry ,"

"Ok ," sighed Kort , rubbing his face ,"Mr. Gibbs , I'm coming there . Could you explain me the easiest way to reach your cabin , please ?"

"It's complicated ... I'll be waiting for you at Philadelphia Airport . Just let me know when you land ,"

"Thank you very much , sir ,"

"Don't call me , sir ... see 'ya ,"

TBC

* * *

Please , review ! Thanks :)

On the next chapters , we'll step back and we'll find out what happened before chapter 1 ... please , be patience and you'll not regret it ... I hope so :)


	6. Chapter 6

N.B. : I do not own anything of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 6. _

**The next chapters will explain what happened before Tony's death ... *wink***

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

"Agent DiNozzo ... I need a minute ," said Vance . Tony followed him in his office . McGee hesitated looking at Tony from the doorway , before leaving .

In Mexico , Tony was following Alejandro Rivera , when a man threw him against a wall .

"Hola ,"

"Franks ," sighed the SFA .

"What's your assigment here ?"

"Observe and report . Director's orders ,"

"I'll take it from here ... Probie ," grinned Mike . Tony looked at the older man's bandaged hand ,"I can pull the trigger with my thumb ," he replied , in his perfect John Wayne style and went away following Rivera .

Tony sighed and put his 007 sunglasses back on ,"_No ... I can't bear another crazy lone-wolf ... Gibbs is more than enough ,_" he thought following the older man ,"_It ends that someone loses his life ,_"

After few minutes , Mike Franks disappeared into the market's crowd . Tony didn't follow him . He had a job to do .

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Rivera went to his house and after a hour , he went to his office at Mexican Department of Justice and stayed there all day long . Then , late at evening , he went home alone .

Tony followed him and went into the apartment , across the street . He'd rented it when he'd arrived in Mexico City . It had a very good sight of all Alejandro's apartment .

Late at night , Rivera was sleeping soundly in his bed , unaware that two pairs of eyes were watching him .

Looking through his binoculars , Tony saw a man near the door of Rivera's house ,"Fuck !" , he cursed , opening the window and whispering ,"Franks !" . The man turned and looked up . "Come up ... now !".

"What the hell are you doing ?" roared Tony , when Franks wento into his flat ,"Do you wanna get us kill ?" , he was furious .

"I told you that I'd have take it ," grinned the man .

"I don't care what you said ! Get out of this case !"

"I can't ," said the man , lighting a cigarette . Tony took it from his mouth and threw it out the window ,"I do not want to die for lung cancer ... my lungs have enough problems , even without your damn cigarettes ! ... Now , go away and forget Rivera !"

"As I just told you , I can't ,"

"Franks , you're no longer an agent and you can't ..."

"They've my family ! They've Amira and Leyla !" shouted Mike , before a lump closed his throat . Swallowing ,"They're my family , Tony ... you know better anyone else how important a family is ," he sighed , sitting down ,"Gibbs told me what you always do when your crazy NCIS family is in danger ,"

"What ?" whispered Tony , frowning .

"I know everything about Somalia , DiNozzo ... you can't ask me to quit ," he sighed , sadly .

"No ... I can't ," sighed Tony swallowing , but regaining his composure he added ,"Ok , you can stay , but ... you'll have to follow my orders ," . Franks raised his eyebrows staring Tony . His glance 'said' "No way !" , but Tony added , "I'm the Agent and you're the retiree so , or you'll follow my orders or I'll call the Immigration and I'll get you arrested for illegal immigration of your family ," smiled Tony , winking . Franks opened his mouth , but he stopped him ,"I mean it ... no discussion , no options ... take it or leave it ,"

"Where'd you learn to be such a pain in the ass ?"

"Working with Gibbs ," replied Tony .

"I see ... I thought I'd have never said , DiNozzo , but you learned very well ... you're a stubborn , tough , smart SOB ... good job , Agent DiNozzo ," he smiled , proud of that young man , thinking ,"_You're just too handsome , too healthy and too charming for people take you seriously ,_"

"Thanks ... are we in agreement , Mike ?" he didn't let it go .

"Deal ,"

"Good ... there are some Coronas and limes in the fridge ," grinned Tony , going back to his binoculars .

Mike laughed , opening the fridge ,"Do you wanna one ?"

"No , thanks ... I've got to work ,"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

It was the day after Ziva's Oath Cremony and Gibbs was at his desk as usual , when she went out of the elevator .

She sat down at her desk , without saying a word .

"Good morning ," said Gibbs , still reading the report in front of him .

" 'Morning ,"

"Something's bothering you , David ?"

"No ... I'm fine ,"

"You sounds like DiNozzo ," he grinned . She didn't answered . "Are mad to me ?"

"Why should I be ?" she asked , trying to hide her disappointement .

"Because I lost your Oath ,"

She glanced at him angrly and sadly ,"Yes ," she just said .

"I've had a mishap ,"

"A mishap ?"

"Yes and do not ask me further ," he answered , with a stare that do not allow other questions .

She sighed ,"Ok ... it's just that ... " a lump closed her throat .

"What ?" asked Gibbs , looking at her .

They saw McGee coming into the bullpen and sitting down at his desk .

Ziva stood up and went to her Boss' desk ,"It's that ... the two most important persons of my life weren't there with me ... you had promised me ," she hated that whimpering tone in her voice , but she was very sad . She felt like when her father never went to their ballet shows , when she was a little girl .

"Actually , I didn't promise anything ,"

"Tony did ,"

"And he wasn't there ?" asked Gibbs , really surprised .

"No and he didn't even call me !" she said , a little angry .

"Weird ," whispered Gibbs , thoughtfuly .

"Maybe it has something to do with his talk with the Director ," said Tim .

Ziva and Gibbs turned to him , raising their eyebrows ,"McGee ?" said Gibbs .

"The day before yesterday ... when we've closed the case , Vance asked Tony to stay in his office ,"

"And what did they talk about ?" asked the team leader .

"I don't know . It was a private conversation , Boss ,"

"Bastard !" cursed Gibbs , raising up and going upstairs .

"Where's DiNozzo ?" roared Gibbs , storming into Vance's office .

"Calm down , Gibbs ," said the man from his desk .

"Answer me , Leon ! Where's him ?"

"Don't you figure it out ?"

"Mexico ... you sent him there . Why ?"

"To observe and report ,"

"Observe who ?"

"Alejandro Rivera ,"

"What ? Why ?"

"We need to shut down the Reynosa Cartel and ..."

"You should have sent me there !"

"I couldn't ... you can't go there , Gibbs ! They know you . They think that you're working for them ... You're compromised ,"

"Reynosa Cartel is one the most dangerous and cruel drug cartel of the world ... what will happen if they capture him ?"

"He has just to observe and ..."

"And do you think that if DiNozzo will find a good lead to shut down the Cartel , he'll just call you ? He's an Agent ! A damn good Agent and he'll do his job 'till the end !"

"He can handle this mission ,"

"I know that he can handle it , but you should have told me ... ask me ! His _my _Senior Field Agent !"

"I did ... in the Park . Do you remember ? And you nodded ,"

"I didn't nod , Leon ! Who's his back up ?"' , Vance looked away from him ,"No ... do not ... do not tell me , that you've sent Tony in Mexico alone ... you did ," sighed Gibbs , rubbing his face .

"He doens't need a back up ,"

"Anyone needs a back up , when he's on the field !" said Gibbs angrly .

"Like you ?"

"It was different ,"

"Why ? Because you were there to fix your own mess ?"

"You sent Tony to Mexico to fix my problems with Reynosa family ?"

"They're targeting the Agency and not just trading drugs ... they want vengeance for Pedro Hernandez , Gibbs ! That is to say , that they want to kill all of your people , destroy the NCIS , and then kill you ! We can't allow it !"

"We ?"

"Sec Nav and me ,"

"Leon ... just pray that Tony came back in one piece or ..."

"Or ?"

"You'll regret it for the rest of your life ," aimed Gibbs , going to the door .

"Where are you going ?" shouted the Director .

Gibbs just slammed the door .

TBC

* * *

Please review ! Thanks :)


	7. Chapter 7

N.B. : I do not own anything of NCIS .

_**"Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 7._

Two days later .

"Report , DiNozzo ," said Vance in MTAC , watching Tony on the big screen . The agent was talking to his laptop's camera .

"Rivera has a very boring life : house , work , shopping , gym ," chanted Tony ,"No friends , no strange meetings and no women ... or men ," he winked .

"Nothing else ?" asked the Director , nervously .

"Just one thing . Yesterday he's received a call from his sister Paloma at his flat's phone . You should trace it ,"

"What did they say ?"

"They talked about some relatives ," Tony checked his notes ,"Tìa Juanita , abuela Carmen and tìo Luis that is ill ... then they talked about a party , for next week , at their Facenda ,"

"It's too normal ," whispered Vance , thoughtfully .

"Maybe it0s nothing , but there's thing that bother me ,"

"Such as ?" asked the Director , hopefully .

"They've talked about the weather ..."

"And it's important ?" asked Vance , nervously ,"DiNozzo , we're not joking !"

"Do you see me laughing , Director ?" asked Tony , seriously ,"Paloma said that it was raining and that it was cold and humid ,"

"And your point is ... ?"

"It's sunny and very hot here . I've checked the weather forecast ... it's sunny and hot all over the country . To me , she's no longer here ,"

"Where she could be ?"

"How is the weather like in the old US of America , Director ?" winked Tony .

"Rainy , cold and humid ," answered Leon , astonished . _"I understimated you , DiNozzo ,_" . "Do you think that she could be here ?"

"Why not ?"

"But where ?"

"What , I gotta do all the work ?" laughed Tony , but seeing the Director's stare , he added ,"Oh , ehm ... sorry ... ehm ... well , she wants vengeance for her father so ..."

"So ?"

"So ... if I wanted to revenge my father's death , I'd kill his killer's father ... that is to say ..." , just in that moment Tony realized what his words implied .

"Gibbs' father !" they said in unison .

"Director , you've to save him !" 'ordered' Tony , scared . "_His like a grandfather to me ,_" he wanted to add .

"Do not worry , DiNozzo ... I'll be safe !" answered Vance , closing the connection and running to the bullpen .

"Gibbs , McGee , David ! Grab you gear !" burked Vance , going donwstairs , with his cell to his ear ,"A helo is waiting for us at Anacostia ! It's an emergency !"

"What's going on , Director ?" asked Gibbs , following him into the elevator , with the other two Agents .

The man stared him , scared ,"I've talked to DiNozzo ..."

"Tony ? How is him ?" asked Ziva .

"He thinks that Paloma Reynosa is here ..."

"Here ?" asked McGee .

"Yes , in US and she's ..." he stared Gibbs ,"She's targeting you father Gibbs ," . The older man paled ."Navy plane is already waiting for us . We'll land at Air Force Base in Bloomsburg and another helo will flight us to Stillwater ... do not worry , Gibbs ," he reassured him , squeezing his shoulder ,"I'll be safe ... thanks to 'your boy' ,"

Gibbs just nodded going out the elevator and getting into the car .

Usually it takes a little less than thirty minutes to go from the Navy Yard to Andrews Air Base , but Ziva drove them to their destination in 16 minutes .

**Stillwater , Pennsylvania .**

The door of Gibbs' drugstore opened wide and the door's glass shattered . Jackson jumped with fear . "What the hell ... ?"

"Dad ! Are you okay ?" shouted Jethro , aminig his Sig everywhere and checking the room .

"I was fine , before you scared me to death ! Are you crazy , Leroy ? Do wanna me have an heart attack ?" the old man was angry , scared and surprised at the same time .

"Are you fine ?" asked his son again , checking his body , searching for wounds .

"Get off your hands , Leroy !" protested his father .

"Boss , the area is clear ," panted McGee , coming in .

"Backyard clear , Gibbs ," added Ziva , looking at the broken glass on the floor .

"Is he ok , Gibbs ?" asked Vance , behind her .

They all had their Sigs in their hands .

"Yes , he's fine ," sighed the team leader .

"Why the hell shouldn't I be ?" asked Jack . "_They watch too many action moveis ! I've got to talk with Tony ! ... Wait where is he ?_" he thought .

"McGee , the photo ," ordered his boss . Tim gave him a picture of Pamela Reynosa and he showed his father it ,"Have you ever seen this woman ?"

The old man wore his glasses and said ,"Yes , I know her ," they all rolled their eyes , worried and relieved ,"If I'm not wrong ... yes , she's been here four days ago and this morning too ,"

"What did she say , Mr. Gibbs ?" asked Vance .

"She bought something to eat and we talked about the weather . She told me that she's moved from Southern Texas few days ago , because her husband works at Bloomsburg Municipal Airport and they wanted a house in a peacefull town ... but I highly doubt that she's Texan ... to me , she's Mexican or Cuban ," grinned the man , winking . The he asked ,"And now , one of you would have the courtesy to tell me what's the hell was going on ? And where's Tony ?".

Nobody was listening to him ,"She's been here ," sighed Ziva .

"She's still here , actually ," said Vance .

"Somewhere ," sighed McGee . Jethro was staring that photo ,"_It's all my fault !_" .

"Okay . Protection details here and at Gibbs' house . McGee call Balboa and tell him to come here , with Morris and Fontana ," ordered Vance .

"On it ," answered the young agent .

"Ziva , you'll be his shadow . Do not lose sight of him for no reason at all ," ordered Gibbs ,"Leon , if she's still here , we could arrest her ,"

"For what ? We need a good reason ,"

"Hey ! I'm still here ! Do you remember ?" roared Jack .

"Sorry , Mr. Gibbs ,"

"Who are you ?" asked the older man , unkindly.

"He's the Director of NCIS , dad ," answered his son .

"So , you can tell me what's going on , right ?"

"I'll handle it ," said Gibbs going to his father . Vance went out to call the SecNav . Ziva stayed next to the door , to give Gibbs and his father some privacy .

On the other side of the street , someone was looking to them from a shop window . Paloma Reynosa was thinking ,"_Saben que estoy aquì... él sabe que estoy aquì , asì que no trabaja para nosotors ... tu mentìas Gibbs y para esto tu pagaràs ... y tu padre ... y todos ellos ,_" *

"Can I help you , Ma'am ?" asked the shop assistant .

"Oh ... no thanks ... I'll come back later ," she aswered going out . She got into her car and still looking at them thought ,"_Como sabìan que yo estaba aquì ? ... Espera ! Alejandro me dio todos los files ... donde esta' Mr. Charming ... donde esta' el SFA ?_" ** , she slammed her hand on the wheeler , angrly ,"_Lo sabìa ! Lo sabìa que era un error ! Porquè lo llamè ? ... Idiota ! Agent DiNozzo lo esta' siguiendo ... es in Mexico ! Tengo que llamar Alejandro , immediatamente !_" *** . She started the engin and went away speedly .

McGee looked at that car , but he didn't pay much attention ,"_And we complain about how Ziva drives ?_" he grinned . His phone rang ,"McGee ... yes , Balboa ... Stillwater , Pennsylvania ... I'll be waiting for you at the Airport ,"

"McGee ?" asked Vance , when he closed his cell .

"Balboa is coming , sir ,"

"Good ,"

"Sir ... I was thinking ..."

"What , McGee ?"

"We need a good reason to arrest Paloma ..."

"Yes ,"

"Maybe , we should force her to commit a crime ,"

"Like trying to kill Gibbs or his father ?" asked the Director , raising his eyebrows .

"Yes ... ok , it's a bad idea !"

"No , it's not , but I doubt that Gibbs will let us use his father as a bait " sighed the older man .

"Me too ," said Ziva from the doorway .

They turned , hearing an excited voice . Gibbs and his father were argiung , but while Jack was shouting , his son talked sotto voce . So they could claerly hear just Jackson's words .

"So she's here to kill me ? ... How did you know that ? ... And how did he know that ? ... What ? You sent him in Mexico to tail drug cartel ! Why aren't you with him ?"

"Dad , please , calm down ," sighed Gibbs .

"Calm down ? How many times that boy has saved your life , Leroy ? You told me that , remember ? ... I can't believe it !"

"Mr. Gibbs ," Vance interrupted them ,"I sent DiNozzo in Mexico without telling Gibbs anything ... it's not your son's fault ,"

"Great ! So , what are you doing here ?" he asked , staring his son .

"We're saving you , dad !" roared Gibbs .

"Really ? Do you really need an army of Feds to protect me ?"

"Reynosa Cartel is very dangerous and very cruel , dad ," sighed Jethro .

"Really ? And if you ," he started raising a finger against them ,"All of you , are here , who has Tony's back ?" asked the old man . Narrowing his eyes .

He had fought during World War ll . He knew damn well that you can't go out into the field alone .

They looked at each other uncomfortable .

"He's alone ... he saved my life ... your lives and you let him alone ," whispered Jackson , shocked , closing his eyes .

TBC .

* * *

Translation :

* "They know that I'm here ... he knows that I'm here , so he doesn't work for us ... you lied Gibbs and you'll pay for that ... and your father ... and all of them ,"

** "How did they know that I was here ? Wait ! Alejandro gave me all their files ... where's Mr. Charming ... where's the SFA ?"

*** "I knew ! I knew it was a mistake ! Why did I call him ? ... Nitwit ! Agent DiNozzo is tailing him ... he's in Mexico ! I must call him , immediately !"

* * *

I'm sorry , if I made some mistakes on Spanish sentences . Please , review ! Thanks :)

See you on the next chapter ...


	8. Chapter 8

N.B.. I don't own anything of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 8 ._

**Mexico .**

Actually , Tony wasn't completely alone in Mexico . Mike Franks was with him .

"_Not the best back up of the world , but better than nothing ,_" . Tony was thinking still half asleep , after a sleepless night watching Alejandro . Tony yawned , streched and thinking about his target ,"_He's the bad guy , but it is I who sleeps badly and he's stucked into a small , uncomfortable and dirty flat with a crazy old ex-Marine and ex-Agent ,_" he sighed ,"_Wait ! Where's him ?_" he thought widening his blue-green eyes .

"Mike !" he called from the only bedroom of the flat ,"Mike !" he repeated , standing up and going to the only other room of the apartment (except for the small bathroom) .

The room was empty . He knocked on the bathroom's door ,"Franks , are you in there ?" . No answer . Tony opened the door and found nobody . "_Please God , tell me that he just went out to buy the breakfast !_" , implored the Agent .

He went back to the bedroom to find something clean to wear , but a small piece of paper , attached to the fridge , caught his attention . Tony took it and read the words on it ,"RIVERA GO . I FOLLOW . CALL BACK ASAP . MF"

"Shit ! Shit ! Shit ! Stupido bastardo !" * , cursed Tony ,"I knew that it was a bad idea to let him replace me for even just for few hours ! Sei un cretino , DiNozzo ! Un vero imbecille !" ** . he insulted himself , going to the bedroom .

He wore the first things he found (KC dark blue t-shirt and Levi's kaki pants) , washed his face and teeth in a record time , took his wallet , sunglasses and keys , but when he was about to go out , his cell rang .

"Hi , Probie !" greeted him an unusual happy Franks .

"Fuck you , Mike ! Where are you ?"

"Calm down , son !"

"What did I tell you ? Come back , now !" shouted Tony .

"I can't ," he answered quietly .

"Franks ! This is not a spy game ! Come here , immediately ! Why didn't you wake me up before leaving ?"

"I wanted to give you a few more hours of rest ," he grinned .

"Do not fool me , Franks ! You wanted to work alone ! Well 'ya know the news ? I've enough of you and your lone wolf mission , so now I call the Immigration !"

"You can't !" shouted the older man . He seemed scared .

"You break our deal and I always do what I say ,"

"Tony , please , I need your help ,"

"Oh , now it's 'Tony please , I need your help' ?" asked Tony , faking a whimpering voice .

"I'm sorry , okay ? Are you happy , now ? I admitt ! I was wrong ! I should have woken you up , but now I need your help ," he was sincere and Tony couldn't not to help him .

"Okay ," he sighed ,"I know that I regret bitterly ... what you need ?" he sighed again , rubbing his face ."_When I go back to US , I want a month of paid vacation , all-inclusive , at the Brigde Suite of Atlantis Royal Tower , in Bahamas !_" , he thought .

"I'm at Café Las Nubes , at 23 Calle Emilio Donde , not far from Plaza de La Ciudadela . Rivera is here with a man that I've already seen ,"

"Where ?" sighed Tony .

"He was one the men that attacked my house in Baja ,"

"Are you sure ?" asked Tony .

"Yes ... he knows where's my family . We must take him !"

"I'm coming , but you ... DO NOT MOVE OR DO ANYTHING !"

"Yes , sir !" joked Mike . Tony just hang up and went to him .

"_My gut tells me that this is a very bad idea ! _", thought the agent .

Tony couldn't even image how he was right ...

Tony arrived at 'Café Las Nubes' , in ten minutes , but he didn't go in . With a gesture , he called Franks out of the café .

"Come in ," said the former agent .

"I can't . I don't want Rivera to see me . Mike are you sure that that guy , is the same man that attacked your house ?" asked Tony , hiding behind a little lemon tree next to the Café's door .

"Yes , I'm sure . I must take him ," he whispered , angrly . Going into the bar .

"Hey ! What are you doing ?" whispered Tony , grabbing his arm .

"I'm throwing that bastard against the wall and I'm asking him where is my family ," roared the man , through his teeth .

"No , you don't ,"

"Let me go ,"

"Calm down , Mike . You're drawing attention ," hissed Tony .

"I don't care ,"

"But I do . We've got to stay calm and think ,"

"There's nothing to think about !" he replied , trying to escape from Tony's tight grip .

"That's why I didn't want you here ... you do not think ,"

"And you do ?"

"Yes ," . Franks raised his eyebrows ."Not always , but _now_ we've got to think ,"

"Why ?"

"Because we do not know if he knows where's your family ,"

"He took them !"

"Yes , but you do not know if they're still with him ,"

"Ask him , SFA !" said the older man , sarcastically and angrly .

"It could be dangerous ,"

"For who ? You ?"

"No ... for Amira and Leyla . If he doesn't tell us anything , we should let him go and ... he could contact his accomplices and they could move your family to another place ,"

"It's easy ! First : we question him . Second : we kill him ,"

"And we'd lose the only lead to them ," stated Tony , firmly but quietly . Mike stared him for a long moment . He just wanted to save his family . "Mike , listen ... I know that your gut is ordering you to go to him and make him confess , but this could be the worst choice of your life . I want to find your family too , but I want to find them _alive_ . If we threaten them or if they think that they're in danger ... they'd kill Amira and Leyla without any regrets ,"

"_Not bad DiNozzo ... not bad at all ,_" thought Mike .

"For once , you've to be patience . Can you do it ? ... For your girls ?" smiled Tony , softly .

Mike surrendered ,"Okay ," he sighed ,"What's your plan ?".

"Keep and eye on them , while I'm calling Vance ,"

"And if they go away ?" asked Franks , raising his eyebrows .

"Since , I don't want you even close to the unknown ," grinned Tony ,"You'll follow Rivera and ... ". Mike tried to protest , but Tony added ,"And I'll follow Srgt. Garcia ," he grinned .

"What ?"

"Srgt. Garcia ! Zorro's enemy ! Since we're in Mexico , I think it's appropriate !" . Mike just rolled his eyes , thinking ,"_Gibbs was right , when the tension is too high , Tony always knows how lower it down !_"

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

**Stillwater , PA .**

"Vance ," answered the man to his cell .

"Director ," said Tony on his sat cell .

"DiNozzo ?" asked the other , surprised . Gibbs , McGee , Ziva and Jack turned to him , widening their eyes . They were all in Jack's sitting room . Vance put on the loud speker and said ,"Tony , we're all at Mr. Gibbs' house ,"

"How is him ?" asked the younger agent , worried .

"I'm fine , Tony ... thanks to you ," said Jack .

"Great ! Am I on loud speaker ?"

"Yes ," answered Gibbs .

"Oh , Boss ! Hi !" , said Tony reveiled . That was Gibbs' usual voice . No anger . No disappointment . Tony was really worried that his Boss could be angry with him . After "LaGrenoullie" fiasco he had sworen to himself to not lied or hide things to Gibbs . But then , he had left to Mexico without saying a word .

Okay , so Gibbs was mad to him ? "_Thanks God_ _!_" thought Tony , sighing .

"DiNozzo , what's ..." started Gibbs .

"Sorry , Boss , but I've no time . Tailing Rivera , we found that he knows a man that ..."

"Wait ! You said 'we' , DiNozzo ?" asked Vance .

"Yes , sir ... sadly , I'm no longer here ," aswered Tony , uncomfortable , looking at Franks .

"Who the hell ..." started Vance .

"Franks ," sighed Tony .

Gibbs rolled his eyes , grinning and thiking ,"_An injured Mike with DiNozzo ? I hope Tony could handle him ,_" . He asked ,"Mike is alive and with you , Tony ?".

"Yes , he's alive , he's here and he's a pin in my ass !" protested Tony . They all grinned . "However ... Rivera has just met one of the men that have kidnapped Amira and Leyla ,"

"They kidnapped them ?" asked Ziva , shocked . She really liked Leyla and her daughter . She's always felt a deep empathy with them .

"Yes ," sighed Tony ,"So now ... ehm ... Director my mission is changed . I can't just observe and report ,"

"DiNozzo , NO !"

"Director ... you can't order me to live them alone ," said Tony with a so serious and deep tone , that they could barely recognize his voice .

"DiNozzo , our priority is to collect informations on Rivera that could help us to arrest him and shut down the cartel . You can't go looking for a woman and her daughter . They could everywhere !" said Vance , firmly .

"In this case , Director ... I resign from NCIS ," said Tony , resolutely . Mike looked at him , astonished . "_You've pairs DiNozzo , no doubts !_" , he thought grateful , grinning

"Me too ," said Gibbs .

"Me too ," added Ziva and McGee .

Grinning Vance said ,"Nobody's going to resign here ... okay ?" . He thought just few seconds and then he said ,"Okay , DiNozzo , you'll keep on tailing Rivera and in the meanwhile you'll look for Franks' family ,"

"Thanks , Director ," said Tony , relieved . He really hated the idea of leaving NCIS . At least , he would have been in good company !

"I'm going to him ," stated Gibbs .

"No . You'll stay here to protect your father and to arrest Paloma Reynosa . David !" answered Vance .

"Sir ?"

"You'll stay here too . McGee , you'll come back to D.C. with me and you'll help all of them from the MTAC ,"

"On it ,"

"Director , I've gotta go now , my man is moving ," said Tony on the phone ,"Bye , guys and McTech , get ready to help me ," . Tim rolled his eyes , smiling ,"Sure , Tony !".

"DiNozzo ?" said Gibbs .

"Boss ?"

"Watch your six !"

"Always , Boss !"

They hang up .

TBC

* * *

TRANSLATION :

* "Stupid bastard !"

** "You're a idiot , DiNozzo ! A real dummy !"

* * *

Please , review ! Thanks !

See you on the next chapter ...

Thanks for your nice and supporting messages !


	9. Chapter 9

N.B. . I owe nothing of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 9 ._

**Stillwater , PA .**

Three days have passed since they've arrived in Stillwater and nothing has happened .

Absolute calm reigned in town , but they knew that it was just a superficial calm ... the proverbial calm before the storm.

Paloma was somewhere , planing her revenge .

The wait was nerve-wracking .

"I'll never understand how can you eat eggs in the morning !" stated Ziva , biting her toast with honey .

"David , you're an American citizen now ," grinned Gibbs .

"So ?" she asked , wary .

"You should start to appreciate American traditions ," grinned Gibbs .

"Oh , I love American traditions ... like Halloween , apple pie , hamburger and freedom of thought , but ... what's that face ? Why are you grinning '?"

"Actually , it's 'liberty of thought' ,".

"Are you sure ?" . He nodded ."Whatever ! As I was saying , I love American traditions , but I'll never eat eggs in the morning !"

"Good morning , my exotic beauty ," Jackson greeted her , going into the kitchen .

"Good morning , my charming knight ," smiled her . Gibbs raised his eyebrows ."You know , Boss ... you should learn something from your father ,"

"For example , Ziva ?" he asked , falsely serious .

"How to be a real gentleman ," she smiled to Jack , that chuckled .

"Really ?" Gibbs stared her .

"Yes ," she said , but seeing his sly glance ,"I mean ... you know ... oh ... ehm ... oh , come Gibbs ! You know what I meant !"

"Leave her alone , Leroy ... basically , she's right !" grinned the old man .

"It's better if I go to check the area ," sighed Gibbs , standing up .

"Better for who ? You ?" asked his father .

"Nope ... for you two ," grinned Gibbs , going to the backyard .

In another house , just outside the town , Paloma Reynosa was calling her brother Alejandro Rivera .

"Paloma , ya te lo he dicho ... esta es la tu venganza ," *

"Ma Alejandro !"

"No , yo quiero ver solo Gibbs muerto y no ..."

"Gibbs te has enganado . El no trabaja para nosotros !"

"No me importa , porque pronto el va a estar muerto ,"

"Y quien lo matara' ? Tu ?"

"O tu ,"

"No me ayudara' ? Por favor , hermano !"

"Que debo hacer ?" sighed him . He'd never been able to tell her 'no'

"Creo que el SFA es in Mexico y que esta' siguiendote ,"

"Como lo sabe ?"

"No es aquì , entonces ... capturalo y matalo !"

"Bueno ,"

"Pero recuerda , que tiene que suffrir mucho ... debe haber un agonia larga y atroz ,"

"Porquè ?"

"Perquè el la mejor manera de hacer dano a Gibbs ,"

"Mas , el no estara' aquì a verlo morir ,"

"Enviame un video de la agonia del agente DiNozzo ," grinned Paloma .

"Bueno ,"

"Para la tortura , llama Ernesto Morales , es el mejor ,"

"Sì ... Paloma ?"

"Sì , Alejandro ?"

"Cuidado ... no puedo perderte ,"

"Tranquilo , no me perdaras ," .

**Next day .**

Ziva was at the drugstore with Jackson , while Gibbs was in the back-store .

"Maybe she'll never come ," said the older man .

"No , she will . Trust me ," smiled Ziva .

"Why are you so sure ?"

"Because , nothing is stronger that vengeance ,"

"But it can cloud your mind ," stated Jack , raising his eyebrows .

"That's true and this is good for us ... even though ..."

"What ?"

"Not always , vengeance clouds our mind ," she said , thoughtfully .

"What 'ya mean ?"

"Gibbs didn't tell you anything about what Tony has done in Somalia ?" asked Ziva .

"Yes ," he sighed ,"He told me everything ... how he talked for hours awaiting for the right moment for Leroy to kill the terrorist ... and despite he truth serum !" grinned Jack .

"Yeah ... I've read all their reports ," she smiled , softly .

"He saved your life ,"

"All of them ,"

"Yes , but without Tony ..." he smiled , winking .

"Yes , you're right ," she sighed "But ..."

"What ?" asked Jack , scared by her look .

"I think you were right ," she said still looking outside the shop-window and putting a hand on her weapon .

"What ?"

"Vengeance clouds mind ...Paloma Reynosa is coming here and ... she has a gun ! Jack go to the back and ..."

"Stop !" shouted Paloma , coming in and aiming her gun . Ziva tried to take her Sig , but the woman saw her ,"No ... if I were you , I wouldn't do ... put down your weapon ," she said calm , but seeing Ziva's hesitation , she shouted again ,"PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPON , NOW !"

"Okay ," said Ziva obeying .

"Good ... now , handcuffed yourself to the fridge ," .

Ziva obeyed again , thinking ,"_Stay calm , Ziva ... you can't risk Jack's life ... DAMN , Gibbs ! Where are you ?_" . She saw a shadow behind the front door , but she kept her eyes on Paloma .

"Mr. Gibbs , come with me ," said the woman , gesturing with her gun .

"Where ?" asked the old man , calm . "_No doubt ... he's Gibbs' father , definitely !_" thought Ziva .

"I need a ride to the abandon mine ," she smiled .

"I don't have a car , sorry ," swallowed Jack . He was really afraid , but he'd have never given her the satisfaction of seeing him scared .

"But I've mine . Come on Mr. Gibbs , it's not kind to make a lady wait ,"

"Lady ? Are you a lady ? I don't think so ," grinned Jack .

"Me too ," whispered Gibbs leaning the barrel of his gun on Paloma's nape ,"Drop . Your . Weapon ," he said very quietly .

Ziva opened the handcuffs and aimed her weapon to Paloma .

"Two against one . You can't win . Put down you weapon ," she smiled .

"How do you ..." started the woman .

"Come in ?" concluded Gibbs . She nodded . "I've always told my father to close restroom's window , but ... he never listen to me ,"

"And it seems I was right ,"

With an evil smile Paloma tried to aim her gun to Jack .

_BANG ! BANG ! _

Ziva shot to her heart and Gibbs to her head . Paloma Reynosa was dead and they were finally safe ... or not .

"Jack , are you ok ?" asked Ziva , concerned .

"Yes , dear ... just a little shaken ,"

"Sit down . I'll give you some water ," said the young woman , opening a little bottle of water .

Gibbs was staring the corpse , with a totally blank look .

"Leroy ," sighed his father ,"Are you ok , son ?" . He just nodded ."You can realx now ,"

"No , I can't ," he answered , staring him ,"We've another task now and ... I'm afraid it'll much harder ," sighed .

"What 'ya mean ?" asked the old man , surprised , drinking from the little bottle .

"We need to bring Tony home in one piece ," he answered seriuosly , avoiding their looks and going outside to call McGee .

TBC .

* * *

Sorry for my Spanish , I tried to do my best :)

Translation :

"Paloma , I already told you ... this is your vengeance ,"

"Alejandro !"

"No , I wanna see just Gibbs dead , and not ..."

"Gibbs cheated you . He doesn't work for us !"

"It doesn't matter , because he'll die soon ,"

"And , who will kill him ? You ?"

"Or you !"

"So , you won't help me ! Please , brother !"

"What have got to do ?"

"I think that the SFA in Mexico , tailing you ,"

"How do you know that ?"

"He's not here , so ... take him and kill him !"

"Deal ,"

"But remember , he must suffer a lot ... he must have a long and terrible agony ,"

"Why ?"

"Because it's the best way to make Gibbs suffer ,"

"But , he won't be here to see him dying ,"

"Send me a video of Agent DiNozzo's agony ,"

"Okay ,"

"Call Ernesto for the torture ... he's the best ,"

"Yes ... Paloma ?"

"Yes , Alejandro ?"

"Pay attention ... I can't lose you ,"

"Don't worry , you won't lose me ,"

* * *

Please , review ! Thanks :)

Thanks for your support and see you on the next chapter ...


	10. Chapter 10

N.B : I do not owe anything of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 10 ._

**A few days later - Mexico City .**

As everyday , Alejandro Rivera went to his office at Department of Justice and stayed there all day long .

Tony left Franks on survelliance details of Rivera and , tailed 'Sgt. Garcia' .

The fat , sweat , completely balt man went to a grocery ("_Bad guys eat too !_" grinned Tony) and then he went to an apartment that Tony supposed it was his . The SFA followed him inside the the building (not seen by him) and looked at him , while he opened his mailbox .

When the man went up to his apartment , Tony snapped out the shadow and checked the name on the mailbox . Ernesto Morales .

Tony went out the building and crossed he road .

He called McGee immediately ,"Hi McGoo! I need you find everything you can about Ernesto Morales , 335 Calle Victoria , Mexico City ,"

"Sure ," answered Tim , already typing on his keyboard ,"Is everything ok , Tony ?"

"Yes , but I need that info asap ... I call you later ,"

"Ok ... and Tony ?" Tim stopped him .

"Yes ?"

"Pay attention , okay ?"

"Are you worried about me , McAnxious ?" joked Tony .

"No ," jocked Tim ,"But if something bad happend to you , Gibbs would be really pissed off and you know how he's when ..." he turned .

"He's behind you , isn't he ?" grinned Tony .

"Yes , " sighed Tim , staring his Boss and swallowing .

"DiNozzo ?" asked Gibbs sharply .

"Yes ," whispered McGee .

"Hi , Boss ! Be kind with our Probie , you know how he's sensible !" said Tony , from the loud speaker .

Grinning and staring McGee , the older man asked "Yeah ... how is Mexico ?"

"Too hot and ..."

"And ? Tony , what's going on ?" asked Gibbs , worried .

"Pablo Escobedo has just gone into Morales building ," whispered Tony .

"The Boss of the most important Colombian drug cartel ?" asked McGee , shocked , sharing a scared glance with Gibbs .

"Yes ," swallowed Tony , whispering ,"Boss ... it's bigger than we thought ,"

"Oh , yeah , DiNozzo ," whispered the older man , thoughtfully .

"I've got to call Vance ," said Tony .

"I'll handle it ," said Gibbs ,"You just keep an eye on them and ... pay attention , Tony . This is a very dangerous game ,"

"I know , Boss ... I know ," sighed Tony , swallowing .

**Vance office .**

Someone knocked on the door .

"Come in ," said the Director , from his desk and when he saw Gibbs , he asked ,"Have you something for me , Gibbs ?"

"What do you know about Pablo Escobedo ?"

"Why ?" asked Vance , really uncomfortable .

"Because , Tony's just seen him at Morales' building ,"

"Who's Morales ?"

"The man with Rivera ... what do you know about him , Leon ?" asked Gibbs , with one of his famous stares .

"He's the Boss of the most important Colombian drug cartel ," he answered , avoiding Gibbs' look .

"Nothing else , Leon ?" insisted the other man . Vance didn't answered , but stood up and went to the bar-table ."You know that he was involved too !" roared Gibbs , following him .

"I wasn't sure ,"

"Why didn't you tell Tony anything ? You sent him in Mexico , without all intel ! I know that you do not like him , but ... what were you trying to do ? Get rid of him ?"

"Agent Gibbs !"

"Fuck , Leon ! You've to protect your people , not throw them to the wolf ! Or have you already forgotten Tel Aviv ?"

"No ... Find all intel about ..." he started trying to change the subject .

"We're already doing ,"

"Let me know ,"

Before going out , Gibbs said ,"Leon ... just pray that nothing happen to Tony ,"

"Is it a threat , Gibbs ?" asked Vance , raising his eyebrows .

"No ... just a warning ,"

TBC

* * *

I know that this chapter is short , but the next one will be longer and more exciting . I promise :)

Please , review ! Thanks :)

See you on the next chapter ...


	11. Chapter 11

N.B.: I owe nothing of NCIS .

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 11._

**Few hours later at Tony's flat in Mexico .**

DiNozzo was on the phone with McGee , when Franks went in .

"Okay , Tony ," said Tim on the loud speaker ,"First of all , we've got a really good news ... Paloma Reynosa is dead and Gibbs' father is safe , now ,"

"Thank , God !" sighed Tony rubbing his face , tired but relieved . Franks smiled ."Who killed her ?" , asked the SFA .

"What do you think , DiNozzo ?" asked Gibbs , next to Tim .

"You ? I should have known it ,"

"And Ziva ," added the team leader .

"And she was happy of that , wasn't she ?" grinned Tony .

"Really happy !" smiled Ziva from her desk .

"Hi ... new American citizen ," said Tony , softly . She raised her eyebrows ."Ziva ... ehm ... turn off the loud speaker , just a moment , please ," , so Tony said just to her ,"Ziva , I wanted to tell you that ..."

"Tony . You do not need to apologize . I understand ," she stopped him .

"I wasn't about to apologize !" he chuckled , a little nervously ,"I just want to say that , I know how the Oath Ceremony was important to you and I'd have liked to be there ... when I promised you to come , I didn't know anything about this mission and then I had to ..."

"To follow orders ," she smiled softly , reminding how many times she'd told Tony that 'orders are orders and you've to follow them . "I'll show you the DVD !"

"A DVD ?"

"Yes ... Abby and McGee did it for me ,"

"Yeah ... when I'll be back , we'll have a pizza all together and we'll watch the video , okay ?"

"Great ! ... ehm , Tony ? It's better if I turn on the loud speaker again or Gibbs ..."

"He's gonna to kill us ," smiled Tony and Gibbs nodded , grinnig .

"Exactly ... you're on , now ," said Ziva .

"Go , McSearch !" laughed Tony .

"Morales is Reynosa's cousin , from their mother's side . Arrested 3 times for drug dealing , once for arms dealing and once for rape , but his victim died before the trial ,"

"I'm not surprised ," sighed Tony ,"Anything else ?"

"No , sorry , Tony ,"

"That's ok , Tim ," sighed Tony . McGee smiled softly . He really liked when Tony called him 'Tim' .

"Do you got something on Rivera ?" asked Gibbs .

"Mike ?" asked Tony .

"Hi , guys !" greeted the older man ,"Rivera , didn't do anything unsual . After his meeting with Morales , he went to his office and stayed there 'till he went home . That is to say 3 minutes ago ,"

"Something strange on his posture ?" asked Tony .

"What ?" asked Franks , really surprised .

"If he had known that his sister is dead , maybe he could have walked slowly , with hunched shoulders or he could have even sobbed ," explained Tony , seriously . Mike was really impressed by Tony's brain .

In D.C. , his younger colleagues were impressed as well . Just one person wasn't so shocked ... Gibbs . He knew damn well how competent and smart was the ex Homicide Detective , and he was also the only one that knew all Tony's qualifications .

"No , he seemed relaxed ... even happy ," said Mike .

"Happy ?" mumbled Tony , seriously .

"What are you thinking DiNozzo ?" asked Gibbs .

Tony didn't answered him , but said ,"Tim , can you trace Rivera's office phone ?"

"Tony , it's illegal ," protested the younger agent .

"Oh , come on McSnoosy ! I thought you were grown ! Are you still our little shy probie ?" he teased him . Tony was really proud of his grown-up probie , but sometimes Timothy still needed his SFA's kicks in the ass !

As Tony and Gibbs already knew , Tim reacted immediately to Tony's tease ,"No , I'm not ! I'll trace his phone immediately !" he answered , angrly .

"This is the NCIS Agent for which I'm proud !" exclaimed Tony , happly .

"You knew that I would have ..." asked Tim , shocked .

"Sure , McGee !" laughed Tony .

McGee turned and looked at Gibbs . His Boss nodded , grinning and whispered to his ear ,"He knows you like the back of his hand ," . McGee shook his head , grinning and thinking ,"_This could be very dangerous for me !_"

"Call me , when you've got something ," said Tony and hang up .

Two hours later McGee called Tony and told him that Rivera had received lots of job's calls , but received a call from his sister too . The two agents hypothesized that Alejandro didn't know that his sister was dead .

Next morning , while NCIS Team in D.C. were investigating the murder of a Petty Officer in Norfolk , Rivera met Morales at "Cafè Las Nubes" again . Tony and Mike were observing them from the window .

Unlike the day before , the two Mexicans went away together on Rivera's car . DiNozzo and Franks tailed them on the car that Tony had rented , when he'd arrived in Mexico .

Tony (with Franks in the passenger seat) drove for many hours , without rest , 'till they arrived in Fresnillo . It was about 350 miles northwest of Mexico City .

The town was nice , full of colored houses , but certainly it had seen better days . Just out of the town's borders there were some haciendas , but if you went just a little further , you were in the middle of nowhere ... just dry earth burned by the sun and mountains ... nothing else ...

And most important , no reception for cell or sat phones .

TBC .

* * *

Please review ! Thanks :)

See you on the next chapter ... what will happen to Tony and Mike ? ...


	12. Chapter 12

N.B. : I owe nothing of NCIS .

I'd like to thank you for all your reviews ... sorry , but I'm new on this site so I've just found out how to read them ! LOL

Sorry if I updated chapter 11 many times , but I had to change some things to make it more balievable :)

I hope you'll enjoy this almost-relaxing chapter . I did it on purpose , because the next ones will be painful to read and rated to T , for some very disturbing scenes ...

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 12 ._

Rivera parked in front of a small green house near the town's eastern border and went in , with his cousin Ernesto . Tony parked in the next street , out of their sight . Then , with Franks walked to the green house , but they hid behind a some trees , across the street .

"What do you think they're doing here , Probie ?" asked Mike .

Rolling his eyes Tony answered ,"I don't know , but I do not like that they're together . If they decide to stay here , we'll need a hotel not far from here ,".

In that moment , the two Mexicans went out of the house and , after greeting a young woman , they walked towards the town's centre .

Tony and Franks followed them from afar .

Alejandro and Morales went into a cantina and met some other men . Mike tried to went in too , but Tony stopped him .

"What are you doing ?" hissed the SFA , grabbing Mike's arm .

"We need to know what they're planning ," hissed the older man , angrly .

"Sadly Morales knows you and probably Rivera knows me , so ... we've got to stay here and wait ,"

"And when are you going to do somehing , Agent DiNozzo ?"asked the other man , more and more angrly .

"When I'll have enough intel about their plan and ..." . Mike opened his mouth , but Tony stopped him ,"And , most important , when I'll be sure that I can save your family without risking their lives ,"

"And how will you find out these intel , if we do not listen to what they're planning ?" asked Mike , sarcastically .

Tony grinned ,"The same way I got the job at NCIS ," . Mike raised his eyebrows and Tony added ,"With a smile ,"

"What ?"

"Stay here . Do not go in . If they go out , call me and follow them . But stay hidden ," ordered Tony and went away . Mike was speechless .

DiNozzo went back to his car and , when he finally saw the young girl in the little garden , parked and got out of the car .

"Perdon ," his asked , with one of his famous ultra-charming smile , holding a map in his hand .

"Si ?" asked her , going to the red railing .

He took off his sunglasses and smiled again . "_Oh , Dios mio ! Que ojos !_" * , she thought , sighing and blushing .

Pretending not to speak Spanish well , Tony said ,"Creo que ... how can I say it ? ... Perdido ? Si ?" he smiled , shyly .

"Americano ?" she smiled , kindly .

"No , Escosés ... yo ir a Guadalupe , pero ... ehm ..." , answered the man , impressioning Sean Connery .

"I speak English ," she smiled again . Tony thought ,"_Nothing is better than a man in trouble ,_"

"Really ? Great !"

"Speak slowly , please ,"

"Sure ... I'm here for a long trip and I'd like to visit the real Mexico , not the big cities ... comprende ?"

"Yes ,"

"Bueno ... oh , sorry ! I forgot the good manners ! I'm James Wallace ," he smiled , holding out this had ,"And you ?"

"Rosa Morales ," she answered , shaking his hand .

"Rosa ? Un dulce nombre para una dulce mujer ," he whispered . She blushed , swallowing ,"I was going to Guadalupe , but I think I took the wrong way ,"

"No , it is the right way ," she said , opening the little garden's gate and showing him it on the map .

"Oh , thank you very much ... gracias and ..."

"Si ?" she asked , hopefully . She didn't want him to go .

"Any advice for my trip ? I like this area ,"

"Oh , in Norte there is Victoria de Durango ... here ," she indicated on the map .

"And some wild area ?" he smiled .

"Oh , every ... everywhere , right word ?" she smiled . He nodded .

"I'm a photographer , so I like the wide landscapes ..." he lied .

"Landscapes ?"

"Yes , mountains , cactus , dry heart , sun ... comprende ?"

"Oh , si ... you find everything here , but ... " she stopped , thinking .

"Yes ?" he asked hopefully . "_If Rivera & Co. want to hide something , they need a hidy-hole , afar from everything ,_" he thought .

"Mi hermano ... brother ... he goes to Abrego ... here ," she pointed on the map ,"He has a ... casa pequena , si ?" . He nodded ."There are mountains cactus and todos lo que quieres ... y coyote también !" she laughed .

"Really ? Perfecto ! Gracias ! You've been ... fantastica !" . She blushed again ."Is it far from here ?"

"No ... about 45 - 50 kilometros ,"

"Thank you very much and ... espero verte pronto ," he smiled , staring her with his emerald eyes .

"Yo tambien ," she whispered , swallowing .

"Goodbye ," said Tony getting into the car .

"_Yo tambien _" she sighed , looking him going away .

She didn't know that it'd have happened very soon ... but in completely different circumstaces ...

TBC

Tony false name : James stands for 007 and Wallace for "Braveheart"

Please review ! Thanks :)

See you on the next chapter ... when , how and why Rosa will meet Tony again ?


	13. Chapter 13

N.B.: I owe nothing of NCIS .

- I forgot to say that I use _italics _, to write what the characters are thinking or to emphasize a word .

- Okay , now it's the time to understand and know what really happened to Tony and Franks in Mexico and why a supposed easy mission ended so badly .

- This is the beginning a hard time for our men , especially for Tony ... so pay attention !

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 13 ._

**Fresnillo , Mexico .**

"Yes ?" answered Tony to his cell .

"DiNozzo , they're moving ," whispered Mike .

"Where are you ?" , asked Tony , driving .

"I'm following them . They've just left the Cantina and they're going to east on the street ,"

"Ok , tail them . I'll find you ," said Tony .

When Tony saw Franks , parked the car near the curb and reached him .

"Hey ! Did you miss me ?" asked Tony , smiling .

"Yes , like the herpes ," groaned the other .

"You hurt me , Mike ," frowned Tony .

"DiNozzo , this is not ..."

"A joke , I know ... I've got ..."

"Did you find something or did you just going around wasting your time ?" the older man asked , rudely .

"You do not trust me , right ? ... Do not answer ! ... However , you're wrong . You should trust me , because ," Mike tried to say something , but Tony kept on talking ,"Because , I found out that Moarales has a little house , not far from here and in the middle of nowhere ,"

"And this is useful because ... ?"

"Because , if they want to do something illegal , they need a hidy-hole ," he grinned , satisfied for Mike's surprised look .

"Very good , probie ... you're a smartass ,"

"I know ," grinned Tony , looking at the group that they were tailing ,"Wait !" he stopped Franks , grabbing his arm ,"They're going into that hotel ... so they want to stay here for a while ... we need a room ," he stated , crossing the street .

"Where are we going ?" asked Mike , following him .

"Into the hotel on the other side of the street . You reserve a room with a street-view and I call Gibbs ,"

**Washington D.C.**

"McGee , tell me that you've something about our Petty Officer ," said Gibbs , coming from Abby's Lab with two cups of coffee in his hand . "_This is not good ,_" thought Ziva .

"Boss ... no , sorry , boss ,"

"Ziva ?" asked Jethro , raising his eyebrows .

"We've got nothing Gibbs , sorry ," gramice the woman .

"Are telling me that you didn't find anything in 2 days ?" roared the older man .

"Yes , Gibbs ," whispered Ziva .

"He had a normal life , a normal job and a normal marriage ," added Tim .

"Marriages are never normal , McGee ," commented Gibbs , sarcastically ,"Restart from the beggining and remember ... you're not going home , 'till you'll find something usefull ! I'll be in Autopsy !" he shouted , going away .

"I want to die ," sighed McGee , rubbing his face .

"If you want I could kill you and then ... I could kill myself too ," sighed Ziva .

"Why Gibbs is so nervous in these days ?" asked McGee , mostly to himself that to anyone else , typing on his keyboard .

"Because , he's worried about Tony ," said Abby , behind them ,"And I'm worried too ," she added , thoughtfully , reaching them .

"Why ? Tony's with Franks !" said McGee .

"Tim ... the last time that one of you has been with Franks ..." started Abby .

"She died ," whispered Ziva , sadly .

"Director Shepard ," sighed McGee , closing his eyes .

"Yes ," whispered Abby ,"Did you hear him recently ?"

"Tony ? Nope ... and I'm worried for this silence ," said Ziva .

"He's fine ! I'm sure ," said Tim , but looking at the two women he added ,"At least ... I hope so ,"

"Abby , why are you here ?" asked Ziva , trying to not think about Tony .

"I wanted to stretch my legs ad I found something for your investigation !" she smiled .

"Really ? I love you , Abby !" exclaimed Tim . Ziva and the Goth looked at him grinning ."I mean ... I ... oh , come on ! You know what I meant !"

"Relax Timmy !" laughed Abby ,"Well ... I found lipstick and powder on Petty Officer's jacket . The powder is Chanel Poudre Universelle Libre n. 10 ,"

"No DNA ?" asked Ziva a little disappointed .

"Nope , but ..." she grinned , looking to their hopefull faces ,"I found the same powder on the knife's handle that killed the PO ," she smiled , happly .

"So , we got to look for a woman ," said Tim .

Ziva said "Wait !" she checked the evidences' list . She chuckled .

"What ?" Tim asked .

"Tony's right ," she grinned .

"What do you mean ?" asked McGee .

"Yes , what do you mean , Agent David ?" asked Gibbs , going to his desk .

" 'It's always the wife' !" she quoted ,"There was the same powder in her bathroom , when we searched the house ," she smiled .

"Grab your gear ! I've got to arrest a murder-wife !" grinned Gibbs , thinking about his ex-wives . "_How I'd have like to arrest them too !_"

**Fresnillo , Mexico .**

"We've got a room . Your call ?" asked Mike .

"No signal . Fuck !"

"You'll try later ,"

"Yeah . Go up to the room . I'm going to take our car and our stuff . I'll be back asap ," said Tony , going to the Hotel door .

Mike grabbed his arm and said ,"When you'll be back ... I'll watch our men and you'll sleep ,"

"Why ? I'm fine !" chuckled Tony .

"DiNozzo , when has been the last time you eat something and you sleep for more than a hour ?"

"I've got a work to do and I'm fine ,"

"Tony ... you need some rest , boy ,"

"Why are you so kind ? Are you worried about me ?" grinned Tony .

"Nope , but if something bad happen to you , because you're too tired to understand that you're in danger ... Gibbs is gonna kill me ," grinned Franks .

"Good point ... Room number ?" smiled Tony .

"27 ,"

"Ok ," said Tony , going out .

"_Stubborn man ! You're exactly like Gibbs ... great men , definitely !_" smiled Mike , looking at Tony , that was crossing the street ,"_He could have just keep on with his mission , but instead he's here to save my family ,_".

Two days passed since Mike and Tony arrived at the hotel , and nothing had happened . Rivera and his men just went in and out of the hotel , visited Rosa Morales more than once , had dinner in some restaurants and hang out with their friends .

The SFA and the former NCIS Agent were frustrated and tired . While the bad guys were enjoying their lives , they could sleep or eat properly and their stress level grew more and more . Especially for Mike that didn't know anything about his family .

Tony was really concerned about Franks' mental and emotional state . In that situation the older man could have done anything , especially stupid and incautious things . Tony knew very well what an upset man could do .

And in addition to all this , Tony has been able to talk to Vance just for few minutes , before his sat-phone lost the signal , definitively .

It was late at night when Tony woke up . He look at his watch , 0230 a.m. . He closed his eyes , groaning and rolled on the couch the hotel room . One hour more and then he had to relieve Mike .

Tony blinked and opened his eyes just a crack , to see if Franks was still awake , but he didn't see him . "_He's to be in the head ,_" thought the younger man , looking at the bathroom's door . No light came from under the door .

"No ! No ! No ! Not again ! Shit !" cursed Tony , standing up too fast and staggering for a moment ,"_Damn , low pressure ! At this heights and with this humidity is even worse than usual !_". Regaining his balance , he went to the window and looked down in the street ,"This time I kill with my hands !" he roared , seeing his partner on the other side of the street looking into a cantina . He reached him .

Mike saw Tony crossing the street and immediately understood that this time he has really screwed up . Tony had a murderous glare .

"What the hell was wrong with you ?" hissed Tony , furious .

"Calm down ,"

"A fuck calm down Mike ! What's so incomprehensible in "stay hidden and do not go out without telling me" ?"

"I've enough to just stay there and wait !"

"And this is the reason why I'm still an agent and you're not ... this it my mission and you've got to follow my orders ! I do not wanna die 'cause of you !"

"I've got to find my family !"

"Great ! And if you die , who will take care of them ?"

They were talking sotto voce , but you could feel the anger in the air . "Now , go back to the hotel and stay there !"

"I don't think so , Agent DiNozzo ," said a calm male voice behind him . Alejandro Rivera was aiming a gun to Tony's nape . Tony frozened , looking at the fat man that was aiming a gun to Mike's left temple .

"Who are you ?" Rivera asked the older man .

"Es Mike Franks . Tenemos su sobrina y su hija ," * grinned Ernesto .

"Bueno ," smiled Alejandro .

"Hay un callejon de vuelta a la esquina . Porqué no los traemos allì y no los matamos immediatamente ?" smiled Morales .

"No , tienen que suffrir ," smiled Rivera , pressing the gun on Tony's neck ,"Especially you , Agent DiNozzo ,"

"I'm honored by your interest in me ," grinned Tony , sarcastically .

"Oh , a brave man ," hissed Rivera , grinning and looking at Morales .

"Well ... I'll be very happy to remove that smile off your face , gringo ... when we'll have spent some time together ... you'll beg me to kill you ," said Morales , with an evil grin . He looked like a jackal ready to bite the prey .

"In the alley , now !" ordered Rivera .

"So , you changed your mind and you'll kill us now ?" asked Mike , looking at Tony and thinking ,"_Why did I listen to you ?_" .

Tony stared him , but he didn't see fear in the younger man's eyes . He saw bravery and determitation and he remebered Gibbs' words ,"_DiNozzo's a survivor ,_" . Mike really hoped that he was right .

"So ... if you're not killing us , what are you going to do ?" asked Tony , quitely .

"For now ... we'll knock you out !" answered Rivera , hitting violently his head with the gun's butt .

Morales did the same thing with Mike and said ,"Hey , desea esplatar su cabeza ? No tiene que golpear tan duro o lo matarè y yo no me divertirè !" ** . He laughed , maliciously .

The last thing that Tony saw was Morales' grin . "_This is not good ... at all ,_" he thought .

Then , just silence and darkness ...

TBC

* * *

Translation :

* "He's Mike Franks . We've his daughter in law and her daughter ,"

"Good ,"

"There's an alley just around the corner . Why don't we take them there and we kill them immediately ?"

"No , they've to suffer ," - "Especially you , Agent DiNozzo ,"

** "Hey , do you wanna crack his head ? You do not have to hit so hard or you'll kill him and I won't have fun !"

* * *

Thanks for all your reviews . You're so nice and kind ! Keep on reviewing , please . Thanks :)

See on the next chapter ...


	14. Chapter 14

N.B.: I owe nothing of NCIS .

- Thanks for all your reviews and support :)))

- **Warning : this chapter is rated ****T ****for violence ! **

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 14 ._

**Washington D.C.**

At about 0300 a.m. , Gibbs' team came back from a new crime scene at Rock Creek Park (Tony'd have said : "A very dangerous place !"). They were really tired , but they had to find the murderer of PO Sam Bean , killed with a single gunshot in the centre of his forehead . "An execution ," had stated Gibbs , angrly . Ducky agreed .

Now the poor lad was with the ME and Mr. Palmer in Autopsy , while Abby was examinating all the evidences , Ziva and McGee were trying to find something interesting in his life and Gibbs was pacing the bullpen like a lion in the cage , with a coffee in his hand .

He wasn't nervous just about the case . After all , it was just another investigation . What that really bothered him was the lack of calls from DiNozzo .

His guts was screaming "_Troubles !_" . Finally the team leader surrendered to his concern and barked ,"Enough ! McGee stop working on Bean case and find DiNozzo !"

"Boss ?" asked Tim , surprised and half asleep .

"Are you deaf , McGee ?"

"Oh ... ehm ... no , Boss ," he started typing on his keyboard ,"Find DiNozzo ... on it , Boss !"

The younger agents exchanged really worried glances .

Ziva's eyes asked ,"_What's going on ?_"

Tim's eyes answered ,"_Something bad ,_"

He couldn't even image how he was right ...

**About 20 kilometres from Abrego and about 70 kilometres from Fresnillo .**

Morales and Rivera , with some other men's help , dragged out of the car Tony and Mike's unconscious bodies , threw them into a small , dirty and dark room and slammed the door , leaving them alone .

Mike was the first to wake up . He was confused and his head anched , but suddenly he remembered what had happened outside of the cantina and just a word came to his mind .

He called ,"Tony ," . No answer . "Tony !" , again , a little louder . No answer . "DiNozzo !" he shouted . Finally , he heard a weak moan .

Franks crawled to that faint sound and found Tony .

The younger man was curled up in fetal position . His head in his hands . He was clearly in pain . It seemed that he had a nightmare .

Mike touched Tony's shoulder , but he flinched in fear . He was barely audible , but Mike could clearly hear ,"No ... please , no ... dad , no ... Sir , I'm sorry ... no ... I won't cry , I promise ... do not let me here ... my head hurts ... why did you beat me ?" . Tony was crying .

"_Oh , my God ! What happened to you , boy ?_" thought Franks shoked ,"_What did your father do to you ?_" . He couldn't leave Tony in that hell , so with the sweetest voice that he could muster , he whispered ,"Tony , wake up , boy ... it's just a nightmare ... I'm Franks ... Tony , don't worry ... you can open your eyes , boy ,"

Slowly , Tony opened his eyes , but he could see just darkness . He panicked . Tony hated the total darkness . Even during the night , his place was never completely in the dark . He closed his eyes , immediately .

Tony's body was trembling and gasping for air . Mike tried to stay calm . He knew what was that . He had already seen it in Vietnam . It was a bad nightmare and the beginnig of a panic attack . He had to wake him up . "DiNozzo ! Wake up ! Come on , Tony !" he said louder , raising the younger man up and leaning him against his chest , so he could breath better . Whispering in his ear reassuring words , Mike patted slightly Tony's cheeks and finally the SFA opened his eyes and whispered ,"It's dark and cold here ... where ... where am I ?"

"Desert ,"

"How do you know that ?"

"Smell of sand in the air ,"

"Wait ! ... Who ... who are ... you ?" . He tried to move , but he was too weak and confused .

"Mike Franks . Do you rember me , Tony ?"

"Fuck you ," whispered the younger man .

"You remember me , definitely ," grinned .

"What happened ?"

"Rivera and ..."

"I remember that ! I wanna know , why am I in your arms ?" asked Tony , swallowing and trying to control his breath .

"You've had a nightmare and you was panicking . You couldn't breath , so raised you up ,"

"Thanks ," smiled Tony , uncomfortably , slipping away from his arms , lying on his side , on the concrete floor .

"What did you dream ?" asked Franks , concerned . He'd never thought that DiNozzo could have had a nightmare . He was always so happy and care-free .

"I don't remember ," lied Tony , shrugging his shoulders .

Mike didn't believe him , but said nothing . Even in the dark , he could 'see' Tony's discomfort . "_Every men is intitled to his secrets ,_" thought the older man ,"_And you , my ear boy ... you're an enigma ... what have you survived to ?_"

Tony coughed and swallowed . He was shacking again , but this time there was another thing that bothered him . He could feel a wave of nausea passing through him . Another weak cough and Mike asked ,"Are you ok ?"

"No ," he sighed ,"Sick ," he sighed , raising his head a little .

"Are you going to throw up ?" asked the other man , really concerned . Sadly he didn't need an answer , as he heard Tony swallowing , coughing and heaving repeatedly . The content of his stomach splashed on the ground .

Mike litted his lighter and went to Tony . "Do not move !" ordered the younger man .

"Why ? I wanna help you ,"

"Mike , please ... leave me ... alone ," panted Tony . Another cycle of heaves emptied completely his stomach .

"Something you ate ?" asked Mike , sat next to him and stroking his back .

"Nope ," whispered Tony , swallowing ,"Concussion ," . He crawled to the other side of the room . Mike followed him .

"How do you know that ?"

"Because someone is playing a drum jam session into my dizzy head . I just hope that ... ahhh !" he hissed , lying down again .

"What ?"

"And I think it's a bad one ," he said , through his teeth .

"Why ?" he asked loudly .

"Shhhh ... speak softly ... I've a beginning of migraine ... luckily this room is completely in the dark or I could scream in pain ," . Mike could hear the pain through his weak whisper .

"Have you already had one ?" he asked barely audible .

"Yes ... some ,"

"Working for Gibbs is very dangerous ," grinned Mike .

"Actually , I had my last migraine ... when I was 11 ," whispered Tony , rubbing his temples and blinking . His eyes were watering .

"You were too young for a migraine !" chuckled Mike , thinking that Tony was joking .

"No ... if your father tries to split your skull open with a 8-iron ," sighed Tony .

Mike was shocked ,"Wha ... what ?" he whispered ,"Why did he do that ?" he asked in a louder voice .

"Shhhh ... because , he had ... he had just found out the I was allergic to artichokes ," grinned .

"And so ?" Franks was more and more astonished . He couldn't understand why a father could try to break his son head , just because he had an allergy .

Tony slightly chuckled ,"His favourite dish is artichokes pasticcio and ... he wanted ... actually , he demanded that we ate it together , every time he played golf with his business partners at Long Island Golf Club ... it was a kind of family tradition , because he did the same thing with his father was he was younger ... he took me with him , just to show his trophy ... 'ya know , the heir of his empire ," grinned Tony . "_It has to be the concussion ... why am I talikng so much ? Shut up , DiNozzo !_" . Then he added ,"Ehm ... sorry , Mike ... I ... I didn't mean to bother you with my happy childhood's memories ," he whispered , going back to his happy facade and locking the real himself behind that .

"Do not worry , lad . We all have bad memories ," sighed the older man , trying to comfort Tony and , mostly , trying to ease his discomfort .

"Thanks , Mike and ... sorry , if I sent you to hell ,"

"Oh , you were right . I should have listened to you , but you know ..."

"Yes ... I know ... but now ... we need to find out a way to go out of here and quickly ," he sighed . His head was throbbing and his mind was clouded . He had forgotten how bad can be a migraine . He knew that , unless he immeditely took his drug , he could have had seizures , just like when he was 9 and he father refused to inject the drug into his belly , because DiNozzos don't need drugs !

"No ... now you need to rest and I'll think about it ,"

"Okay ," sighed Tony really exhausted ,"Mike ... I need something for my head or ... or it will be a big problem ,".

Mike rubbed his face and sighed .

**Washigton D.C. **

"McGee ! Where's DiNozzo ?" barked Gibbs , coming from the Autopsy , where Ducky and Palmer had told him that PO Bean fought with someone before being killed .

"In Mexico , Boss ," answered the agent , regretting immediately . Gibbs gave him one of his worst glances and a perfect headslap ."Sorry , Boss ... Gibbs ... ehm ... I can't find him ,"

"What do you mean , McGee ?" asked Ziva , from her desk .

"His cell and his sat phone are unreacheable . No signal ," he sighed , ready for another headslap , but it didn't come . Tim turned just in time to see Gibbs going upstair .

"Maybe we should call an ambulance ," said Ziva .

"No ... if it'll be a fight , we'll have to call Ducky ,"

"Do you know that , before going into a room , the good manners say that you've to knock on the door ?" said Vance , sat at his desk , after Gibbs invasion .

"Did you talk to Tony , recently ?" asked Gibbs , minaciously .

"Yes ,"

"And ?"

"And he said that he had problems with his sat phone's signal and that they were no longer in Mexico City ,"

"Where are they ?"

"I don't know ,"

"What ?"

"He just said that they'd tailed Morales and Rivera and after about 350 miles driving ..."

"Yes ?" asked Gibbs , anxiously .

"Nothing else . We lost the signal ,"

"Did you try to contact him again , Leon ?"

"Yes ," he hissed , angrly ,"But nothing ,"  
"So you do not know where is my Agent ,"

"My Agent , Gibbs !" stated Vance , firmly .

"Tony is one of my people ," barked Gibbs .

"And a special one ," grinned the Director .

"What do you mean ?"  
"I mean that DiNozzo is more than just an Agent to you . Maybe a son ?" grinned Leon .

"These are not your business . You've sent one of _your_ agent in a suicidal mission and then you've abandoned him , Director . Does it sound familiar to you ?" asked Gibbs , leaning on Vance desk and staring him .

"What ?" asked the other , surprised .

"You've acted like Eli David , but this time ..." he swallowed ,"This time , there won't be a DiNozzo that will left without thinking about his own life ,"

"But there will a Gibbs , right ?" grinned Vance .

"If I'll be able to find him ... before it's too late ,"

And with these words , Gibbs left the office and went out of NCIS Building . He needed to be alone to find out a way to save 'his boy' . He felt that Tony's life was in danger .

**Tony and Franks' prison .**

Tony woke up and saw the first ray of sun coming from the one and only very small window and covered by a piece of black cloth. Actually more than a window , it was just a small hole near the ceiling .

"Mike ?" he sighed . His head anched badly and the nausea was costant . Slowly he turned and he found out that he was alone .

Suddenly , the door opened and Morales came in , grinnig ,"Did you have a good night ?"

"No , but thanks for asking . Where's Mike ?" Tony sighed in pain . He need help . He couldn't have seizures in that situation .

"Not far ... are you ready ?"

"Ready for what ?" asked Tony .

"To play with me . To be my toy ," Ernesto grinned , opening a big bag .

Tony saw knives , clamps , wires , syringes and lots of vials . His eyes widened in terror ,"_I'm dying here ,_" he thought .

"I'll start softly ," Morales said going to him .

Few second later , Morales was using Tony's face and chest as a punching bag . His fits were heavy as lead hammers .

Tony's chest was burning . He couldn't breath . It seemed that his head was about to explode . He felt the blood's taste in his mouth and he spat out a tooth . But he didn't do even a moan . He clunched his jaws and prayed to pass out .

Someone in the Heaven listened to him and he faited , thinking ,"_God , please ... let Gibbs find us or ... give us a quick death ,_".

TBC

* * *

As usual : Please review and let me know what do think about this chapter . Thanks :)

I hope you liked it , even if it's painful to read .

See you on the next chapter ...


	15. Chapter 15

N.B. : I owe nothing of NCIS .

- Sorry , but I had to re-posted this chapter , because I had to add some words and to correct some others . I hope my English is a little better now .

- Thanks for all your support and reviews . They're really important to me :)))

- **Warning : this chapter is rated T for violence and torture !**

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 15 ._

**Next morning - Tony's prison .**

In a semi-conscious state , Tony understood that he was alone . The punchs had stopped . His body was hurting badly and his left eye was swollen .

He tried to move , but he couldn't . Something was stopping him .

He tried to check his body ."_I'm not on the floor ... I'm sit up ... on a chair ? Who put me here ? My hands are tied to the chair ... Oh no , not again ! ... Oh , my head ! I need something ... It's hot now ... too hot ... this room is stifling ... I need water ... I need to go !_" he started hyperventilating ,"_Breath , Tony ... calm down ... just breath ... in and out ... in and out ... just like when you were a child ,_" his breath calmed down a little and he tried to open his eyes ,"Ahhhh !" , a whipping pain hurted his eyes ,"Damn , migraine !" he hissed through his teeth ,"_Another thing for which I've to thank my father and his educational method ,_" .

He still remembered when Elena (his Italian nanny) , had taken him to the ER , during a severe attack of migraine , when he was 9 . The doctor told her that , more than by the slight concussion , the attack was due to a psychological trauma and it could be solved with a peaceful life free of trauma and abuse .

She had talked to his father . He had immediately fired her and had reported her for illegal immigration . Tony had never seen her again .

The ER doctor , who had reported the abuse to Social Service , had misteriously lost his job and the report had been lost too , along with Tony's medical records .

Tony heard some voices outside the room and one of them was female . He knew that voice . Where he has already heard it ?

The voices went away , but another noise came to his ears . He listened to it carefully . A child's cry . A child was crying not far from him .

He heard Mike's shouting . He had to be into the room next to his . The older man was calling his granddaughter . "_At least she's still alive ,_" thought Tony , before passing out .

Some hours later , someone woke him up , with a bucket of ice water . Tony coughed , swallowed and gagged .

"Estas pronto para otro paseo en el carrusel ?" (* transl. "Are you ready for another ride on the carousel ?") , asked sarcastically Morales . Tony groaned softly . "This time it will be a little harder ," announced the fat man .

"Great ! I was getting a bit bored ," grinned Tony , with his eyes closed .

The bad guy laughed ,"Tu eres comico !" (* transl. "You're funny !")

"Gracias ," smiled the SFA .

"But soon ... " he hissed to Tony's ear ,"You'll stop laughing ," . His breath smelled of cigarettes and bad beer . Tony gagged and threw up .

"Next time you'll throw your guts ... ok , vamos a empezar !" announced Ernesto . (* transl. "Ok , let's start !")

Tony managed to open hie eyes just a little and he saw Morales drawing a amber liquid from a vial , with a syringe . He was really scared .

The man injected that liquid into Tony's arm and said ,"Let it time to act and then ... you'll beg me to kill you ,"

"What's that ?" sighed Tony , weackly .

"It's a neurotoxin that causes severe pain and cramps ... it's great , but it has some collateral effects , like heart attack , broken jaw , hallucinations and panic attack ,"

Tony didn't want , but he screamed in pain . The drug was working . "Scream ! Scream ! I like that !" laughed Morales .

Tony clunched his jaw and just moaned . "Pay attention to your jaw , yankee !" grinned the other .

"What do you want ?" sighed Tony , shacking , sweating and gasping .

"Me ? Nada ! ... But , I think your jefe will like the video ," (* "Nothing !" / "your Boss")

"AHHHH ! STOP IT ! STOP IT , PLEASE !" begged Tony . He hated it , but he couldn't stop his words . He was losing his famous self-control .

"Please ? You're a polite guy !"

"Fuck you , bastardo !" shouted Tony , widening his eyes . "You're lying ! There ... are no ... no cameras here ," he gasped , writhing in pain .

"You're right ," grinned Morales , enjoying the scene ,"But in front of you there is a mirror and behind it , there is a camera ,"

The pain was unbereable . Tony couldn't breathe . His throat seemed swollen and he couldn't swallow . Tears were rolling on his cheeks . His body was shacking uncontrollably . His nose was bleeding ,"STOP ! STOP ! STOP !" , he cried , bititng his lower lip . He tasted his own blood .

The fat man enjoyed the "show" for 10 minutes more , but when he understood that his victim could die , he something else into Tony's arm .

Just few minutes later the pain disappeared and the tremor faded , leaving the agent exhausted and semi-conscious . He couldn't even think or talk .

The fat man untied Tony's arms and threw him on the floor ,"Sleep ... you have to be rested for the next round ,"

"Why ?" whispered Tony , curled up .

"Why , what ?"

"Why did you give me the antidox ?"

"I do not want you to die soon ... or my fun would end ,"

"Thanks ," whispered Tony , grinning .

His torment had lasted little more than 30 minutes , but it seemed to him years . Actually , there was a positive thing in all this mess . Whatever Morales had given him to stop his torture , it had also stopped the pain in his head . The migraine was gone .

Tony fell asleep immediately .

**Washigton D.C. **

The phone on Gibbs' desk rang ,"Yeah , Gibbs ," he answered .

"Gibbs ! Gibbs ! Come down ! I've got something !" shouted Abby .

"What do 'ya got , Abs ?" asked the team leader , going into the lab with Ziva and McGee .

"I've a friend at NASA ,"

"Ashton ?" asked Tim .

"No another one ,"

"Hey ! Stop chatting !" barked Gibbs .

"Well ... I called Jerry and I asked him if ... by chance ," she grinned ,"He could use his babies to find Tony ,"

"And ?" asked Ziva , anxiously .

"I gave him Tony's sat phone's number and his rented car's plate ... do not ask me how , but ... he found something !"

"Great !" exclaimed McGee .

"Such as ?" asked Gibbs , seriously .

"Okay ," said Abby , typing on her keyboard . Some maps appeared on the big screen in front of her ,"Tony made the last call from Fresnillo ,"

"Where is this place ?" asked Ziva .

"About 350 miles northwest of Mexico City ,"

"Vance said that Tony and Mike were tailing Rivera and Morales ," said Gibbs .

"Exactly ! So , Jerry used a NASA sat that ... was flying over there ," she smiled .

"By chance , I guess ," grinned Tim .

"Of course , Timmy !" exclaimed Abby .

"Abs ," Gibbs stared her .

"Oh , yes ... sorry , Bossman ... he found out that we lost the signal here ," she said , enlarging a portion of the screen ,"Hotel Juarez , 501 Paseo del Mineral ," she smiled .

"How old are these images ?" asked McGee .

"4 days and ..." she typed something else and a sat pic of a car appeared on the screen .

"What's that ?" asked Ziva .

"Tony's car . The plate matchs !" she smiled , happily .

Gibbs didn't lose time . "McGee ! MTAC with me ! ... Ziva call Vance and tell him that I want him in MTAC , now ! ... Abs ?"

"Gibbs ?"

"You're great ," he whispered to her ear . She giggled .

**Late evening - Tony's prison .**

The room was dim . Tony was still sleeping , but when someone opened the door , he reacted immediately curling up in a ball , as he did when he was a child and his father beat him .

"Te he traìdo algo de comer ," a Mexican female voice whispered ,"Si el sabe que estoy aquì , me mata ," (* transl. "I brought you something to eat" / "If he knows that I'm here , he'll kil me")

"Who are you ?" sighed Tony with his eyes closed , hidding his face in his hands .

"Me llamo Rosa ," she whispered . (* transl. "My name is Rosa") . He turned and looked at her . She widened her black eyes ,"Oh , Diòs mio !" (* transl. "Oh my God !") , she swallowed "James ?"

"Actually ... Tony ," he sighed sitting up and leaning his back against the wall ,"I lied to you , sorry , but ..."

"Shhh ... no importa ... who did that to you ?" she whispered , horrified by the bruises and scratches on his face . (* transl. "It doesn't matter")

"Your brother ," he answered and she nodded . She wasn't surprised , at all .

"Drink some water ," she gave his a litle bottle of water and helped him to drink ,"You should eat tambien ," (* transl. "too")

"Not hungry ,"

"Here ... eat this cheese ... is soft ," she smiled , sweetly , putting it to his mouth . He accepted her help without complaining , but his throat hurt .

"Rosa ... I need your help ," he said , fixing his emerald eyes on hers .

"I can't ... he will kill me ,"

"Please ," he whispered , trying to hide his fear . She folded his hair , softly ."I'm American and I'm a Federal Agent ... I'm here to rescue a woman and her daughter ," . Rosa avoided his look , uncomfortably ."Rosa , did you see them ?" . She nodded ."Are they okay ?" . She nodded again ."Please , help us ,"

"I can't ..." she sobbed ,"I do not want he to torture me too ,"

"You're his sister ... he would never ..."

"He killed our parents ," she sobbed again .

"Come here ," said Tony , hugging her , and wincing in pain .

"Yo vivo con miedo ," she cried , silently . (* transl. "I live in fear")

"Shhh , calm down ... shhh ... I'll find out something else ," he whispered , stroking her back .

"No ... I will help you , but promise me that you will take me with you , when you will go away ," she begged him , looking in his eyes .

"I promise ," he smiled , softly . It was so hard to keep his eyes opened .

"What have I to do ?" she asked .

"Call this number ... 202 555 1356 and tell the man that will answer everything and where we are ," he sighed exhausted .

"ROSA ! ROSA ! " Morales shouted , outside the building .

"I go , now ," she raised up .

"Hurry , please ," Tony sighed , while she was closing the door ."_Because I don't know how long I can hold on ,_".

"Donde eres ?" Ernesto asked his sister . (* transl. "Where were you ?")

"Estaba con la mujer y la hija ," she lied . (* transl. "I was with the woman and the little girl")

"Vas a casa , idiota !" he barked . (* transl. "Go home , idiot !")

"Sì , Ernesto ," she answered , going to her car , quickly .

**Washington D.C. **

It's been a very long day . They've worked hard to find Tony , but the last trace of the SFA stopped at Juarez Hotel .

At 11.30 p.m. , Gibbs has sent all team members home and now he was in his basement , sanding his latest project : a large closet . He needed it , to store all the things that were in the main bedroom . He wanted to go back to sleep in the bedroom that he shared with Shannon , so his father (or Tony) could sleep in the guest room , when he came in D.C.

His cell rang .

**Mexico .**

Rosa drove for about 15 minutes , just to be sure that nobody was tailing her . When she felt safe , she parked her car under some trees , dialed 202 555 1356 and waited .

After two rings a tired male voice said "Yeah , Gibbs ,"

"My name is Rosa and ..." she swallowed ,"Tony asked me to call you ..."

TBC

* * *

I didn't use abbrevations for Rosa and Ernesto on purpose .

Please , review ! Thanks :)

See you on the next chapter ... what will happen ? Bad things or good things ?


	16. Chapter 16

N.B.: I do not owe anything of NCIS .

- I know , I'm late ... sorry :)

- Thanks for all your reviews , advices and support . You're so kind !

- A special thanks to my Beta Reader ErikaaDiLante . You're great !

- **Definitely T this time !**

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 16 ._

**Tony's prison .**

The door opened wide , scaring Tony . Morales and two other men went to him and picked him up roughly . They carried his weak body to a chair and sat him on it , with his face to the back .

"Shirt off !" barked the fat man . Tony startled , but didn't move .

The other two men ripped Tony's shirt violently .

Tony's bare torso shivered in the desert's cold air . He heard a strange tinkling ...

**Washington D.C. **

"Senor , are you still there ?" asked Rosa , doubtfully . "_Why on earth has Tony asked this woman to call me ?_" , thought the man . "Senor ? Hallo ?"

"Where is he ?" Gibbs asked , abruptly .

"He is en Fresnillo , México and he needs help , senor ... he is ... como se dice ? Ehm ... big trouble , si ? Comprende ?"

"What kind of trouble ?" asked the Boss , running upstairs and calling McGee with his home phone .

"Mi hermano is ... beating ... no , sorry ," she was trying to find the right word ,"Tortura , comprende ?" (* transl. "Torture , understand ?")

"Your brother is torturing Tony ?" he was shocked .

"Yes and he will not ... "

"Hold on a second ," said Gibbs when he heard Tim's tired voice on the other end of the phone . He ordered ,"MCGEE ! TRACE MY CELL ! NOW !"

"On it , Boss !" the other answered without any question . You didn't need to be a genius to realize that something really bad was happening . They hung up , simultaneously and Tim went straight to his computer .

"Senor ?"

"Listen , Rosa ... I need to know where you are now and how I can find Tony . Comprende ?" Gibbs said , slowly .

"Yes . We are at my brother's house not ... muy lejos ... ehm ... not far from Fresnillo , right ?"

"Este ? Norte ? Donde ?" Gibbs asked , going to his car and heading to NCIS ... and breaking all Road Code's rules .

"OH , DIOS MIO !" shouted the woman .

"What ?"

"Estan aquì ! Me mataran !" Rosa screamed in terror , dropping the phone . (* transl. "They're here ! They'll kill me !")

Gibbs heard a car's engine and screeching of tires ,"ROSA ! ROSA ! CAN YOU HEAR ME ?" .

Nothing . The line was dead .

**Tony's prison .**

Tony couldn't see what was happening behind him , but he was sure that it was something bad .

He tried to turn , but one of the men stopped his head with a heavy slap , breaking his internal cheek .

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion , but suddenly a sharp burning pain laced across his back and something hard and sharp hit his bare chest , tearing his skin and ripping off a bit of flesh .

Tony screamed and tried to stand up , but one of the Morales' friends stopped him , whilst the other one tied his hand to the chair's back .

The expert of movies realized immediately what the torture instrument was . The Romans called it "_flagellum" _(or nine-tails cat) . It was a sort of whip , with nine leather straps which were tied to nine sharp little hooks . He had seen it in Mel Gibson's "The Passion" , so he knew damn well what their effects could be . They were scourging him !

First lash ... "This is because you are Americano !" roared Morales . Tony screamed .

Second lash ... "This is because you came in Mexico !" . Tony coughed in pain .

Third lash ... "This is because you tailed us !" . Tony gasped for air .

Fourth lash ... "This is because you found us !" . Tony gagged .

Fifth lash ... "This is because you are dirtying my floor with your damn blood !" . Tony clunched his jaw .

Sixth lash ... "This is from Alejandro !" . Tony spat blood .

Seventh lash ... "This is for Paloma's death !" . Tony tried to catch his breath , thinking ,"_How did they find out ?_"

Eighth lash ... "This is for your friend in the other room !" . Tony moaned .

Nineth lash ... "This is for the woman and the little girl !" . Tony sniffed and wipe his eyes in his shoulder .

Tenth lash ... "And ... this is because I like number 10 !" . Tony collapsed on the back of the chair .

Morales had whiped him , unceasingly , for nearly half an hour now . Tony's back and chest were bleeding profusely . The top of his pants were soaked with his blood . His breath was erratic . His heart was throbbing .

Tony had felt every lash and every wave of pain , but his brain had stopped thinking at seventh lash . It seemed it was happening to someone else . He was beyond the pain . He was in shock .

"Porquè no se queja mas ?" asked Morales , disappointed . No screaming , no fun ! (* transl. "Why doesn't he moan anymore ?")

"Creo que es in shock . No se mueve ," one of the men said , giving a push to the almost catatonic prisoner . Tony swayed as a marionette . (* transl. "I think he's in shock . He doesn't move")

"Untied him !" ordered Morales , going out of the room .

As soon as the men untied his hands , Tony fell down from the chair and hit his head badly on the ground , but he didn't utter a sound .

They left him alone in the dark .

Just four words were echoing in Tony's head ,"_Where are you , Gibbs ?_".

**Washington D.C. **

"McGee ! Have you locate the call ?" asked Gibbs on his cell , storming out the elevetor .

"Sorry , Boss ..."

"SORRY ?" the older man shouted , sitting down at his desk ,"Tony's life depends on that call and on you !"

"Boss , the call was too ..."

"GET HERE NOW ! AND CALL ZIVA !" he ordered hunging up and then calling Vance .

When the Director answered , Gibbs just said ,"Rivera has Tony and Morales is torturing him . Get your a** here , immediately !" then he hang up .

He leaned against the back of his chair and staring the ceiling he murmured ,"Hold on , Tony ... I'm coming ... Hold on , son ... Do not quit ... oh , God ... help my boy , please !" .

He wiped a tear on his cheek .

TBC

* * *

Review ! Thanks :)

Where is Franks ? Are Amira and Leyla fine , or not ? What will happen to Rosa ?

See on the next chapter ...


	17. Chapter 17

N.B. : I owe nothing of NCIS .

- I used _italics _for thoughts or important words .

- I want to say a biiiig thank you to all of you for your reviews !

- I'm really sorry for all my mistakes and misspelling , but my beta reader is disappeared . If any of you wants to help me with grammar , I'd be very happy . Thank you and forgive me for my errors :)))

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 17 ._

**Mexico - night .**

Mike Franks had listened to all that happened to Tony . He was into the room next to DiNozzo's and the walls were thin . He wanted to help the man that was dying just to save his family , but he couldn't , because he was tied to a hook hanging from the ceiling . "_I'm sorry boy ... this is just my fault ! I should have listened to you ... I'll never forgive myself if ... if you'll die ,_" , he sobbed ,"_I've got to do something ! But ... what ?_"

In his unconscious state Tony was re-living one of the worst moments of his childhood .

He was nine and it was the first anniversary of his mother's death . He had gone to Mass with his father , some relatives and friends . His father did it , just for the appearances . He didn't believe in God . Anthony DiNozzo Sr. had just one god : money !

After the ceremony , they had gone to the cemetery , to pay a visit to Elisabeth Paddigton DiNozzo's tomb . Little Tony had placed a bouquet of pink roses on the grave . His father didn't want to buy anything , so Tony had bought those flowers with his own money .

Sr. never gave his son money for an ice cream or a comics' magazine , so Tony "stole" the grocery's change that Carmen (the housekeeper) left in the kitchen . They were just few pennies and his father had never found out it , whilst Carmen had always prentended not to see . He had saved all year for buying a new saddle for his red bike , but his mommy was more important than his desires .

His father had branded those flowers as "A waste of money , worth a whining little girl ," then he had gone away with his friends , forgetting his son .

Tony was lost in his thoughts and in his mute chat with his mamma . He was telling her about his school and he was asking her why his father was so angry with him . Why had he started beating him so badly ? Why did he hate him ?

Suddenly he had realized that the sun had gone down and he was alone in the cemetery . He was scared . He knew that he should have gone to the entrance to look for someone , but he couldn't move . He was petrified . So he just stayed there , sat on the grave . At least , he was with his mamma , so he was safe ... that night Tony cried himself to sleep .

The Keeper had found him just next morning . No one had come to find him . Everyone had forgotten about him . He was nothing to anybody .

"Why nobody wants me ? Mamma , tell me , please ! Am I so wothless ?" Tony whined , in his nightmare , lying down on that cold , dirty , blooded , Mexican floor .

Mike heard some cars and a cacophony of voices ...

"Que pasa ?" roared Morales , going out the building and to the three cars , that had just stopped in the backyard .

"That's what happens !" barked an American , getting out from one of the SUV and dragging Rosa with him .

"Let me go , hijo de p**a !" shouted the woman , trying to freed her arm from his grip .

"What are you doing to my sister , Porter ? Let her go !" barked Ernesto , freeing his sister .

"She was making a call ! And one of my men , saw her going into the Fed's room !" replied the man , angrly .

"Es la verdad ?" Morales asked Rosa .

"Sì ... tenia curiosidad ... queria ver quein habia capturado ," she smiled , shyly . She always had a certain influence over her brother , and now she had to use it , to save her and prisoners' lives .

"What's she saying ?" asked Porter . Eric Porter was born in Mobile , Alabama , 45 years ago . He had always been a bad guy so , after some "little problems" with justice , a judge had offered him a choice : prison or service in Marine Corp . Obviously , he chose the second one , but just after 2 years , he was dishonorably discharged , so by then he had become one of the most requested and cruel mercenaries of the world . Sadly he was like a ghost for all Police Forces or Federal Agencies of the world . All those who had seen his face , or had died in very suspiciously ways or were currently working with him .

He was on "The Most Wanted List" of all Police Forces of the world .

"She said that she wanted to see the prisoner ," translated Morales .

"And the call ? Why she was making a call in the middle of the desert ?" he asked , staring the woman .

"Because that is the only place nearby , where there is the signal , idiot !" she replied , angrly ,"And I had to call my friend , Juanita ," she smiled , looking at his son . Ernesto really liked his sister's friend . He wanted her .

"Juanita ?" he asked ,"Porquè ?"

"Te vi muy preocupado y ..."

"In English !" roared Potter . He understood Spanish , but that woman had a terrible accent .

"My brother is very tired and worried and I wanted to ask Juanita , to help him ,"

"And did you find her ?" Ernesto asked , hopefully .

"No , this ... this imbécil stopped me before I made the call ," she lied .

"And do you believe her ?" barked Porter .

"Sì !" answered Ernesto , then going to the mercenary , he added , minacingly ,"And the next time you touch my sister ," he aimed his knife to Porter's chest ,"Get ready to say goodbye to your miserable life ... comprende ?" he hissed on the man's face .

Porter looked at a smiling Rosa , thinking "_You'll pay , bitch !_"

"Comprende ?" shouted Morales .

"Yes ," Porter answered , firmly . Then he ordered to his men ,"Let's go guys ! We've got to go back to Fresnillo , Rivera is waiting for us !" . They got into the SUV and went away .

**Washington D.C.**

When Vance went out the elevator , he found Gibbs and his agents at their desk . Ziva was on the phone talking in hebrew , with one of her ex-coworkers , Adam Levi . McGee was typing on his keyboard and Gibbs was staring a map of Mexico , on the plasma . Nobody looked at him .

"Agent Gibbs ! What the hell ..." Vance started .

Nobody turned to look at him , but the team leader said ,"We're trying to save Tony's life ," and finally , he looked at his Director .

Vance startled . He had never seen so much hatred in a pair of eyes . He swallowed and looked at Ziva and McGee . They had the same look . The silence was unbereable and the Director went away to his office , saying ,"I'll be upstairs ," .

Without wasting time , Gibbs asked ,"McGee , do 'ya got something ?"

"Not yet , Boss . I think we should call Abby ,"

"Why ?" asked Ziva , hanging up her phone .

"She could ask her friend at NASA to help us with the satellite , maybe ..."

"Call her !" ordered Gibbs ,"Ziva ? Anything from your friend ?"

"Adam knows Morales very well . He told me that Morales has 3 houses in Fresnillo or in the nearby ,"

"We already knew that they're there , Ziva !" hissed Gibbs .

"Yes , but we didn't know the exact position of these houses ," she smiled . Gibbs and McGee looked at her intensely . "Adam knows the position of just two of these houses ,"

"Let's hope that Tony is not in the third one ," sighed Tim .

"With DiNozzo's recent luck ?" , asked Gibbs , angrly . "_Why did I protect him ? ... I swear , Tony ... if you'll be back ... NO ! WHEN you'll be back , I'm not going to let you out of my sight again ! Never ! ... Hold on , son !_"

**Mexico .**

"Dupont ! Check the prisoners and bring the old man to the Fed's !" ordered Morales to a French mercenary .

"Maybe you should give them something to eat and drink ," said Rosa , pouring some coffee into cups . They were all gathered around the kitchen table .

"Why ?" asked , Napier , the red-head Scottish mercenary .

"Rivera told Ernesto that the Fed has to suffer a lot ," she smiled .

"So ?" asked the Scottish .

"So ... if he dies too soon , he will not suffer enough ," she explained , with a malicious smile , but thinking ,"_I can't believe I'm saying these words !_" . She was trying to keep the prisoners alive , until the arrival of the Americans .

"Wow ! And they say that we're the bad guys !" exclaimed Dupont ,"Mon cherry , you're a monster of cruelty ," he laughed , hugging her . "_No , I'm just a great liar ... and a very good thief too ,_" swallowed Rosa , stealing a combat knife from his jacket's pocket . He didn't notice anything and went to Mike .

"Okay , bring them something to eat and drink ," Morales ordered to his sister .

"Yo ? Porqué ?" she asked , annoyingly . But she was happy . She need to see Tony and , above all , she wanted to see what her brother had done to him .

"It's women's stuff !" grinned Napier . All the men laughed , going to the sitting room .

Rosa , put 2 bottles of water , 4 pieces of bread and two pieces of soft cheese on a platter . Then she put the knife , a little bottle of disinfectant and some gauzes into a bag and went to Tony's .

**Washington D.C.**

"Gibbs ! Gibbs ! Gibbs ! What's going on ? Timmy didn't tell me anything ! Just to run here !" shouted Abby , storming out the elevator .

"Abs , calm down ... I need you to call your friend at NASA and ask him to find two houses in Mexico . Ziva will give you the positions . We need to know if there's someone at those houses ,"

"Is it about Tony ?" asked the Goth .

"Yes , we need to find him ," sighed Gibbs .

"Is he in trouble ?" . He just stared her ."Gibbs ?"

"Yes ," he sighed .

"Oh , my God ! Oh , my God ! Oh , my God !"

"Abby ! Calm down , okay ?" said Gibbs , taking her head in his hands ,"I need your help ... Tony needs your help ... okay ?" he tried to smile .

"Ok , I'm calm ," she sighed ,"But tell me that he'll be fine !"

"I hope so , Abs ," sighed Gibbs , unsurely .

"Hope ? No , you must say 'yes , Abby , he'll be fine' !"

"Abby !" roared Gibbs , frustrated . He didn't need one of the famous Abby's breakdowns .

She looked at him shocked . Gibbs has never been so rude with her ,"Is it so bad , Gibbs ?" she whispered . He just nodded . "Okay ! I'll call Sean at NASA and if he can't help me, I'll call the whole Space Agency !"

"That's my my favourite Lab Tech !" smiled Gibbs , kissing her cheek ," Ziva , go with her !"

"I go !" exclaimed Abby , going downstairs and mumbling ,"Positive thouthgts ... positive thoughts ... positive thoughts ..." . Ziva followed .

**Tony's prison .**

Rosa opened the door slowly and lit the only bulb that hung from the ceiling . Even in that dim light , the scene that she saw , was shocking .

Tony was curled up in a ball , his head in his hands . His body was trembeling . His bare back was a swirling mass of bruises , scratches and cuts . In some place his flesh was torn off . There was blood everywhere . On his back , on his arms and hands , on his pants and on the floor . He was whispering something and whinning . Tony was crying softly .

"He's not completely conscious . He can't hear me . He doesn't react to my voice ," whispered Mike , sat next to Tony's head .

"Oh , Dìos mio ," whispered Rosa , kneeling next to Tony ,"What did he do to you , mi corazonito ?" she sniffed ,"We have to help him . I have to clean his wounds ... help me ," said Rosa , trying to move the semi-conscious man .

"If you touch him , he flinchs ," sighed Mike , defeated .

"Tony ," whispered Rosa , touching his shoulder . He startled ."It is Rosa ... do you remember me ? Quiero que ayudarte ... let me help you ," she kept on whispering , folding his hair ,"I called your friend ," . Tony moaned . "Yes , I talked to him ... he is coming ," she lied .

Mike looked at her , widening his eyes . She shook her head no . He rubbed his face .

"Gibbs ?" whispered Tony , barely audible .

"Yes ... now , let me help you . You have to be fine , when he will arrive ," she smiled softly .

Tony looked at her with his feverish emerald eyes . Her heart tore in two . This man was in a deep pain and she needed to do whatever she could to save him . "Now , I will clean your wounds , okay ?"

"No , please ... it hurts and ... and it would be just worse ," whimpered Tony .

"I need to , okay ? And then I will give something to eat and drink ... I'll be gentle , I promise ... but please , do not make noise or they will come back , okay ?"

Tony nodded , but he wasn't sure he could keep his promise .

Rosa poured a bit of disinfectant on a gauze and started cleaning Tony's back . He clunched his jaw , trying not to scream . He gasped for air and gagged . The pain was unbereable . Mike took one of Tony's hands in his . The younger man squeezed Franks' hands so hard that the older man winced in pain , but he didn't say a word .

"Please , stop ... please ," begged Tony , crying .

"I am sorry ... it will end soon ," answered Rosa .

"I can't ... I can't ..." sobbed Tony .

It took nearly half an hour to clean all the mess on Tony's back . At the end , the SFA was so exahusted that he could barely breathe .

"Done ... now I have to clean your chest ," Rosa sighed , swallowing .

"No , please ... no more ," he sniffed . Tony didn't care if he looked like a whinning baby .

"I'll do it later . Let him alone , now . He needs some rest ," said Mike , caressing Tony's forearm .

"Okay ," she said , hidding all the medications under a worn blanket .

"Thanks ," whispered Tony , realising Mike's hands "And sorry ... for you hands ,"

"Don't worry , boy ... here , drink some water ," the older man answered , helping Tony to rise his head .

"ROSA ! ROSA !" Morales shouted from outside .

"I have to go , now ," she whispered . Then , opening the bag , she whispered ,"I have this for you ,", she gave Franks the knife ,"Hide it ,"

"Thanks ," he smiled softly .

"ROSA !"

"I will come back ," she whispered to Tony's ear and went out .

"Mike ..." whispered the younger man , laied down on his side . A hand in Franks' hand , again .

"Try to sleep , Tony ," he whispered , closing his eyes .

"When do you think Gibbs will come ?" sighed DiNozzo . The older man barely recognized Tony's voice . It was so weak and vulnerable . More than a 38-yeras-old man , he seemed a desperate child who was begging help and reassurance .

"Soon ... now , rest ," whispered Mike , swallowing and folding Tony's sweaty hair . "_God , help him ... let me here , but save Tony !_" he sobbed ,"_Come on , Jethro ! Your boy needs you !_".

**Washington D.C. - early in the morning .**

Gibbs and McGee was at their desks .

Ziva was in the Lab with Abby .

Ducky and Palmer were drinking a tea in Autopsy and praying silently for their friend .

Vance was in his office , trying to figure out how to fix this mess and not losing his job ... or life , if DiNozzo had died in Mexico .

Gibbs' computer make a soft 'ding' and a "You've got a email" appeared on his screen . He pressed a button and grunted .

"What's that , Boss ?" asked Tim , from his desk .

"I hate this ... this thing !" he roared , pushing the button , repeatedly .

"Boss ..." sighed McGee , frustrated . He didn't have the nerve to deal with Gibbs' adversion for techonology .

"I received an email , but I can't read it ! Fix it McGee !"

The younger man , stood up and went to his Boss' desk . He typed something and explained ,"Actually , it's not an email , but a video file ," he saw his boss confused and angry look , so he added ,"I mean , someone sent you a video , so you've got to give your computer different ..."

"I don't care , McGee ! Just fix it !"

"Yes , sir ... ehm , sorry ... I mean ... yes , boss ," answered Tim , thinking ,"_I need Tony ! He's the only one who can handle an angry and frustrated Gibbs ... well ... if Tony were here , Gibbs wouldn't be angry and frustrated , indeed ... Am I rambling ? Oh , my God ! I'm becoming Tony !_" . He was snatched away from his thoughts by an heavy headslap ,"Today , McGee !".

"Yes , boss ... just a second ... done ! Do you wanna watch it now ?" he asked .

Gibbs glared at him and said ,"What do 'ya think ?"

"Okay ... you can see it on the plasma ... here we go !" said Tim , pressing the last button . Gibbs was rolling his eyes in frustration .

As soon as the first images appeared on the plasma , they stopped breathing ... they couldn't believe what they were listening to and looking at .

"Oh . My . God ," sighed McGee , swallowing .

Gibbs paled and rubbed his face . His heart was crying and screaming .

TBC .


	18. Chapter 18

N.B.: I owe nothing of NCIS .

- Thanks for all your reviews and support ! Guys , you're great !

- I want to say a big THANK YOU to my Beta Reader , ErikaaDiLante . You're amazing , girl ! :)

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 18 ._

**Mexico .**

The first rays of sun barely illuminated the room where Franks and Tony were imprisoned .

Tony had spent the entire night tormented by nightmares and pains , while Mike tried to reassure him and calm him down .

DiNozzo seemed so young and vulnerable in his painful sleep , but the older man was shocked , when he heard Tony crying softly , in a child's voice ,"Mamma , help me ... do not leave me alone ... please , mommy,"

Mike woke up , when he heard someone opening the door . It was Rosa . He opened his mouth to say something , but she stopped him , shaking her head no and putting her forefinger on her lips .

She went in and knelt next to Tony , touching his shoulder sweetly . He flinched and moaned .

Rosa whispered barely audible ,"Tony , it is Rosa . How are you ?"

He slowly opened his eyes and even more slowly he turned his head to looked at her , from his curled position on the floor . He smiled soflty , but a tear rolled down on his cheek and he closed his eyes again .

"Did you clean the wounds on his chest ?" she asked , concerned about the possible infection .

"Yes , yesterday night ... it's been ... horrible . He passed out twice ," answered Mike ,"The night is very cold here and ... and he's too weak after the torture , so he ..." Mike swallowed ,"He has a high fever , now ," he sighed .

"I will give you some blankets ," she answered .

"No , you do not understand ..." sighed the older man , shaking his head slowly .

"What ?"

"We've got to bring him out of here as soon as possible or ... he could die ,"

"From fever ?" she asked , skeptical .

"He had pneumonic plague in the past and high fever or a pneumonia could be fatal for him ," explained the older man . Tony looked up at him . "Gibbs told me , during his 4-months retirement ," he smiled at the younger man softly , moving Tony's sweaty hair from his forehead . Tony nodded and closed his eyes again , leaning his head on Mike's lap .

"Oh , Dìos mio ," she whispered .

"We've just to hold on 'till Gibbs arrives ," whispered Tony , startling them . When they didn't say anything , he looked at them and understood ,"He'll never come , will he ?" . Rosa and Mike stared him . Tony just closed his eyes , completely defeated .

"_Gibbs will never come ... he's not coming ... why should he ? I left for Mexico without telling him ... he didn't sounded angry on the phone , but ... I'm sure he was really angry and disappointed too ... I lied to him again ... I let him down again ... he can't forgive me , this time ... at least , if I die , he'll finally be free from this burden of me ... I've always been a burden ... even for my father ... and Gibbs is not even my father ... even though ... I'd have wanted it so much ," _thought Tony , sniffing and crying silently .

**Washington D.C.**

When Ziva came back from Abby's lab , she found McGee knelt down on the floor , throwing up into a trash can , whilst Gibbs was sitting on his desk , staring the plasma . He was as stiff as a rod of iron and as pale as snow . She rushed to them asking ,"What's going ... oh , my God !" she whispered , as she looked at the screen . A lump closed her thoat .

On the big plasma ran the images of Tony's whipping .

Ziva lost her balance and fell down sitting on the floor . The other 2 agents not even turned to looked at her .

**Mexico .**

"Is the Fed already dead ?" asked Rivera , satting the table of Morales' hidy-hole's table .

"No , he's still alive ... he's a tough bastard ," roared the fat man .

"He would be a great mercenary , if he weren't so honest ," said Napier , disgusted .

"Yes , you're right ," agreed Dupont , with his French accent .

"I would hire him !" laughed Porter .

"Yes , he could be very usefull for our ... business ," winked Napier .

"Alejandro , do you want me to kill him now ?" asked Ernesto .

"No , let him suffer for a little longer . Did you send his Boss the video ?" smiled Rivera , turning to the Scottish .

"Yes , yesterday night ," grinned Napier ,"By this time he'll have watched that video , at least five times ," grinned Dupont .

They all laughed and toasted with coffee .

"I've got an idea !" exclaimed Porter .

"Usually I really like your ideas ," smiled Ernesto .

"What do you think if we let his Boss to find us ?" proposed the American .

"Are you crazy ?" asked Rivera , shocked .

"No ... he's right ," grinned Morales , maliciously .

"Really ? Why ?" asked Dupont .

"If his Boss comes here to save him and all the others , we could capture him too ... and then torture him , just like his agent ," he winked .

"How ?" asked Rivera , really interested .

"You said that that man ..." started Porter .

"Gibbs ," added Rivera .

"Yes ... you said that this Gibbs loves his Agent as his own son ,"

"So ?" asked Napier .

"Which is the best way to make a father suffer ?" he waited just few seconds , then ,"Let him assist to his son's torture and ... death ," grinned Porter , with his evil smile .

Rosa was just outside the door and she heard everything ,"_I've got to call him !_" she thought , scared ,"_Yes , but how ? ... I've got to go home !_" . She has decided that she had to think and speak in English , so she would be ready when Tony's friends would bring her to America . He had promised her .

She breathed deeply , combed her hair with her fingers and smiling her best smile , went into the room .

"Rosa ! Mi bonita ! How are you ?" exclaimed Rivera , raising up and hugging her . He really like this pretty woman . Her black eyes were so intense and charming .

"Bien , Alejandro , thank you ," she smiled . Rosa hated him . She has always compared him to a slimy snake . "Ernesto , I have to go back home ," she announced .

"Why ?" asked Porter , suspiciously . He didn't believe a single word of what she's told them the night before .

"I need some clean clothes ," she answered , innocently .

"Sure ! You've to be comfortable and always at your best ," smiled Alejandro . She felt the strong desire to throw up in his face .

"I'll take you there ," said Porter raising up .

"You do not need to ," she smiled .

"I insist . Come on ," he grinned . She followed him outside and into the SUV .

The ride to Rosa's house was silent . They had to many thoughts in their heads .

"It will take me just few minutes . Sit down on the sofa . There are something cold to drink in the fridge ," she said , falsely calm , going to her bedroom .

He followed her and leaning against the door jamb asked ,"Are you hidding something , Rosa ?"

She startled "Oh ! You scared me !"

"Guilty conscience ?" , he grinned

"I just didn't know you were there ," she answered , putting some clothes in a big bag and then , going to him ,she asked ,"May I pass ?"

"Where are you going ?" he asked .

"Bathroom ... do you want to come with me ?" she asked , gently rubbing her breast on his arm . "_This is a man that has not touched a woman for a long time ... take advantage of it !" _thought Rosa , going out of the bedroom .

She locked the bathroom's door , pulled her cell out of her pants' pocket and sent Gibbs' cell a sms .

**Washington D.C.**

"Gibbs ! Gibbs ! I've got something ! Well , my friend's got someth ..." shouted happily Abby , but she immediately stopped when she saw the woman sat on the floor ,"Ziva ? Oh , my God ! Ziva , are you ok ?" she asked , kneeling next to her . Ziva looked at her dazed .

Abby took her shoulders and shook her "Ziva ! What's going on ! Gibbs ! Ziva is ..." , suddenly , she realized that neither Gibbs nor McGee had uttered a sound or had done a movement .

She looked at them and she was shocked .

Tim was sat on his chair , leaned forward , staring the floor . His elbow on his knees . He was panting .

Gibbs was stiffly sat on his desk , staring the plasma in front of him ... but the screen was black .

Gibbs' cell rang , but the three agents didn't react . "You've got a message , Gibbs ," whispered Abby , still shocked . She couldn't figure out what was happening . She has never seen them in that state . Not even when Kate or Jenny died , or when Gibbs was in a coma .

"Gibbs ," she repeated , going to him and touching his arm . He turned and looked her . His eyes were blank in shock . "Gibbs , please !" she shook him , crying .

"Abs ..." she heard Tim's weak voice .

"Timmy ... what's going on ?" asked , going to him , crying . He looked at her ."Oh , my God ... Tim ," she took his face in her hands . He was crying too ."Is it about Tony ?" . He nodded ."Is he ... is ... is he ... dead ?" she swallowed , almost unable to speak .

"I don't know ," he whispered .

"Why Gibbs is staring the plasma ?" she asked . He didn't answered . "What did you watch ?" she asked again , taking the remote .

"NO !" shouted McGee , raising up and taking the remote from her hands . Finally Ziva and Gibbs came back from thier shock state .

"What don't you want me to see ?" Abby asked , scared .

"Nothing ," answered Ziva , seriously .

"Yes , nothing ," added Gibbs , firmly .

"Nothing ? NOTHING ?" shouted Abby ,"I found you staring a black screen , Ziva sat on the floor , Tim panting on his chair ! There's puke in the trash can ! You all were almost catatonic and you tell me 'Nothing' ?" she turned to McGee , took the remote and pushed 'play' .

Just few seconds later the entire Squadroom was shaken by a terrible scream . Abby collapsed into Gibbs' arms .

TBC .

* * *

I hope you liked it .

Will Gibbs ever read Rosa message ? And what will they do now ?

And , what about Director Vance ?

See you on the next chapter ...


	19. Chapter 19

N.B.: I know owe nothing of NCIS .

- Thanks for all your reviews and messages ! You're so sweet !

- Please , forgive my mistakes and misspelling . When this chapter will be re-edit by beta-reader , I'll reposted it :)

- **Reminder : I just want to remind you that , starting from chapter 6 , you're reading what happened before chapter 1 ! **

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 19 ._

**Washington D.C.**

"Abby ... Abby ... hey , Abs ," . Someone was tapping her cheeks , softly . A male voice . She knew that voice . Slowly she opened her eyes and she met two concerned blue eyes , leaning on her .

"Gibbs ... what happened ?" she whispered , confused , still laid on the floor .

"You passed out into my arms ," he swallowed , knelt next to her . "Are you ok ?"

She nodded , still confused ,"Why did I ... " she started to say , but suddenly she remembered ,"Oh , no ... no ... no no no !" she sobbed , sitting up and hugging Gibbs .

"Shhh ... it's okay , Abs ... it's okay ," he whispered to her ear .

"No ... it's not ," she cried on his shoulder ,"Tony ... Tony is ... oh , God ... Gibbs ... help him . Please , save him ,"

"I'll do , Abby ... we'll do , all together ," he whispered , swallowing and trying to push back the tears . He had to be strong for Tony and for all of them too .

"Promise ?" she asked , looking up at him .

"Promise ," he smiled , sweetly . She looked like Kelly , when she asked her dad to push away the monsters of her nightmares .

Abby sniffed and , looking around , she saw Tim , Ziva , Ducky and even Palmer , all knelt next to her . They smiled to her , sweetly .

Ziva took one of Abby's hands in hers and said ,"We'll find him and ... we'll catch the bast ..."

"No .. we'll kill those bastards ... all of them ," stated McGee , without even trying to hide his anger .

"Who shouted ? This a Federal Agency ! Not a market !" asked Vance , angrly , startling them . He had heard the scream in his office and he had immediately came down .

"... and this is the first one ," said McGee , raising up .

"What did you say , Agent McGee ?" asked the Director , abruptly .

McGee stared him with one of the best impression of Gibbs' angry stares , and went to his desk , without utter a sound . Gibbs grinned thinking ,"_I'm proud of you Tim ... Tony would be very proud of his probie !_"

"I want to know what's going on here ?" barked Vance .

Gibbs stood up , grabbed Leon's elbow and threw him in front of the plasma . "HERE'S WHAT'S GOING ON !" . McGee put Tony's torture video on the screen .

"Oh , my God ," whispered the director , trying to turn his face away from that horror , but Gibbs had another idea ."No ! Now , you watch what you've done !" , he barked , turning Vance's face to the screen .

When the video ended , an heavy silence fall on all of them .

"I'm sorry ," sighed Vance .

"I do not care !" answered Gibbs

"I thought that it was just ..." the Director started .

"What ? Observe and report , _Director_ ?" asked Gibbs , disgusted by the man in front of him "You sent him there without back up , following a member of one of the most cruel drug cartel of the world , Leon !"

"He had just to follow Rivera , but then he wanted to go find ... " he tried to justify himself .

"DO NOT DARE ! Do not dare to blame Tony ! Do not dare to put your fault on him !" barked Gibbs .

"Gibbs !" Vance tried to reply , but he understood that they were right . It was just his fault . He'd sent one of his Agent in a suicidal mission , just to gain a personal success .

He'd chosen DiNozzo because he knew , that Tony could assure him that success . He was so blinded by desire for personal success , that he'd considered Tony expendable . But now , looking into the eyes of the people around him , Leon understood that Anthony DiNozzo was anything but expendable .

That Italian young man had conquered their hearts , because he was a tireless worker and very competent agent , but mostly because he was a great man and good person . A smart , brave , caring , loyal and honest man . A man of honor . A man worthy of admiration and respect . The man that Vance wanted to be . "I'm sorry ," he whispered "What do you want me to do ?"

"Stay out of our way ... 'till we do not ask for your help ," said Gibbs , icily .

Vance nodded and went away ."_No , Gibbs ... I can't stay on the sidelines ... this is my fault and I'm damned if I won't do anything !"_

He went into his office and he sat down at his desk ,"What can I do ?" he asked himself . In that moment , his phone rang ,"Vance ," he answered .

"Leon , I was thinking about our week end ," said his wife , happly . He sighed , rubbing his face ."Honey ? ... What's going on ?" she asked , concerned .

"Oh , Jackie ... I ... I'm a bastard ," he sobbed .

"Sweetheart , what happened ?"

"I did ... I'm ashamed of myself ,"

"Tell me what happened ," she said , really worried . So he told her everything and when he finished , she said ,"You did all of this just for the success ? You're no longer the man that I fell in love and that I married , Leon ... I do not know who you are !" , she was shocked . "_I know who is to blame for all of this ... that bastard of SecNav ! Davenport ... I hate you ! That man is like a virus , that infects everything and everybody with his lust of power and success ... you started changing when he gave you that damn chair ... why ? You seem to be afraid of him ... are you hidding something from me , Leon ?_".

"I know ... I don't even know who I am ... what can I do , Jackie ?" he begged .

"Whatever it takes to save your Agent ... save Tony , Leon or ... do not bother you to come back home ,"

"Jackie ?" he whispered , shocked .

"What ? I do not want my children to live with a heartless man ... it's up to you now , Leon ," and with these words she hang up .

**Mexico .**

When Rosa and Porter arrived at the hidy-hole not far from Fresnillo , Dupont told the American that there was a meeting in the big living-room on the other side of the house , so they went there together .

Rosa went to her bedroom and put her bag on her bed . Then she went to the kitchen . She had to take care of all prisoners and help them to escape .

First she brought water and something to eat to Amira and Leyla . They were in a better room than Tony and Mike , at least they had a clean bed and a small toilet .

When Rosa went into the room , Amira was crying into her mother arms ,"I want to go home , mommy ... I want my grandpa ,"

"I know , sweetheart ... I know ... shhhh ... do not cry , my baby ," Leyla was whispering . Her eyes were full of tears ,"Look , there's Rosa ... you like her , right ?"

The little girl nodded and looked at the Mexican sweet woman ,"Hi , Amira ! I have a special thing for you ," smiled Rosa ,"It's a chocolate bar . Do you like chocolate ?"

"Yes ," she answered , sniffing . The women smiled , softly .

"I have seen your grandpa ,"

"Really ? Where's him ?" Amira smiled .

"He is ... no muy ... he is not far from here ... he will come soon ,"

"And Tony ? How is him ?" asked Leyla . The night before , while Amira were sleeping , Rosa had already told her everything about the torture and she was really worried about him .

"Oh , he is fine ," she lied not to scare the little girl , but Leyla read the truth in her eyes and sighed .

"Can I see them ?" asked Amira , innocently . She loved her grandpa and she liked Tony pretty much . He'd been so sweet and funny when she'd been at her godfather's home with mommy and grandpa . Tony had made her laugh so much !

"Later , okay ?" smiled Rosa . The child nodded chewing her chocolate ."Now , I have to go ... bye , querida ," smiled Rosa , kissing Amira's curled hair and going out of the room .

"_And now the painful one ,_" sighed Rosa , crossing the barren yard and going into Tony and Mike's small and dirty room .

As soon as she opened the door a strong odor of urine and dry blood reached her nose and she almost gagged .

"OH , DIOS MIO !" she sighed , looking around .

The room was empty ...

**Washington D.C. **

"Abs ... why did you come here ?" asked Gibbs , bring all of them back to reality .

"What ? ... Oh , yes ... Sean checked Morales' houses and he found heat in both of them , but mostly at this one ," she said , pressing the plasma's remote . A Fresnillo's map appeared on the screen ,"It's a old big house . It's about 60 kilometres NW from Fresnillo . It seems that there's lots of activity around this house ,"

"It's our place ! It has to be ! Thanks , Abs ... McGee !" barked Gibbs , raising up .

"Reserve 3 seats on the next flight to Mexico City and rent a car ... on it , boss !" said Tim , taking his phone's receiver .

"Ziva , reser ... "

"Reserve 3 rooms at any hotel in Fresnillo ... on it , Gibbs !"

The boss grinned , pleased by his agents' quick reaction . "_We're coming , Tony ... hold on , son !_"

"We'll help you from here , Gibbs ," said Abby , reveiled ,"We'll find him , Gibbs ! I can feel it !" , she hugged him tightly . Their usual Abby was back !

"If you need us , we'll be in Autopsy , Jethro ," smiled Ducky , going downstairs with Abby and Palmer .

Gibbs sat down at his desk . Finally they had a trace . It didn't matter what they had to do or face . They'd have found Tony and the others , and his 'son' would be fine . He'd have helped Tony to heal from whatever they've done to him .

He saw his cell on his desk , and finally he remembered the sms . He opened the cell and read the message : "_DO NOT COME . THEY ARE WAITING FOR YOU . ROSA"_

Gibbs stood up . "Boss , what's going on ?" asked McGee , suprised .

"I need a coffee ," he answered going to the elevator .

When the doors closed , he stopped the elevator and made a call . "I need one seat on the first flight to Mexico City ... yes , just one seat ... and I need a car and a map of Mexico too , ready for me at the airport ... an SUV would be good ... NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs ... yes , I'm a Fed ... yes , I'll have a weapon ... ehm , actually two guns... thanks ,".

He released the elevator and said ,"Sorry , guys , but I can't risk your lives ... I'll go there alone,"

"_I'm coming , Tony ... you wouldn't approve my lone-wolf mission , I know ... but I can't risk their lives and ... I know that you'd agree with me on that ... hold on , son !_"

TBC

* * *

What will be Ziva and McGee's reaction ? Will they follow him or not ?

What will do Vance ? And , what will do Gibbs alone in Mexico ?

What happened to Tony and Mike ? Where are they ?

What will happen to Rosa , Amira and Leyla ?

See you on the next chapter ...


	20. Chapter 20

N.B.: I do not owe anything of NCIS .

- Thanks for all your review !

- If you think that this chapter is better written down , you're absolutely right ! I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to ncismom , for her help , corrections and suggestions . Your help is so precious for me , grazie :)))

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_chapter 20 ._

Thirty minutes later , Gibbs came back to the bullpen acting as nothing had happend in the elevator.

"Boss, the first flight to Mexico City with three available seats is scheduled at 1000 a.m. tomorrow morning," McGee informed him.

"Good," nodded the boss, sitting down at his desk.

Out of the corner of his eyes, the team leader noticed Ziva and McGee looking at each other; their unspokenconcern for him evident in their frowning face.

"I reseved three rooms at Suarez Hotel in Fresnillo," said Ziva, uncertainty etched in her voice.

"Good." repeated Gibbs .

"So ... what are we doing now?" asked McGee, staring Gibbs.

"I guess you've got to wait Tim," sighed the older man as he rose up from his desk. "I'll be at Abby's."

Ziva and McGee looked each other open-mouthed.

"McGee, that's not Gibbs," whispered Ziva .

"No, it's not ... he called me, Tim. Maybe he's in shock."

"Yeah ... maybe."

They looked each other once again and shaking their heads, they said in unison,"Nah!"

"So, what's going on?" asked Ziva.

"I don't know Ziva; I really don't know." sighed her colleague .

The two agents stared at the elevator as the doors closed, leaving them behind to contemplate their leader's strange behavior. They had to be missing something, but both Ziva and McGee realized that they would only know what that missing piece was when Gibbs was ready for them to know the truth.

**Abby's Lab .**

Abby was typing on one of her computer, when Gibbs silently entered. He stopped next to the door and looked at her; she was trying to find more informations about Morales, Rivera and their hideaway in Mexico. Gibbs smiled softly. Abby was one of the most caring person that he had ever known and she loved Tony as a little sister adores her older brother.

He remembered the first time, Tony and Abby met almost 10 years ago. It was Tony's first day with NCIS and the ex Baltimore Homicide Detective was desperately trying to hide his discomfort behind a dazzling smile and some sarcastic jokes.

Going into Abby's Lab with Gibbs , he exclaimed,"WOW! What a mini-skirt!"

Those had been the wrong words. Abby had then turned and stared at him menacingly,"Who's this one?" she asked, obviously annoyed by DiNozzo's presence.

Tony didn't mind her murderous glare and was still smiling as he extended his hand , he said,"Anthony DiNozzo , but you can call me Tony."

She had shaken his hand as cntinued stared at him,"Abby ... and you can call me ... Abby," she answered, imtating him.

He didn't take offence at her joke,"Nice to meet you ... Abs," he grinned.

Gibbs enjoyed that battle of wills. Tony and Abby had been studying each other, trying to figure out how far they could go with their teasing.

Abby, squeezed Tony's hands and smiled. "Abs, huh ?". She had stared at him for just few seconds, but he didn't lower his eyes."I like that!" she exclaimed, releasing his hand and turning back to her computer. Tony streched his fingers thinking ,"_Take a not , DiNozzo : never mess with her !_"

"So what do ya got , Abby ?" had inquired Gibbs. They had talked about their case for about half an hour and Tony had proved to be a very competent agent with a great deal of insight. Abby and Gibbs had been surprised by how easily Tony switched from being a funny boy to be a serious and focused man.

Before going back to the bullpen, Tony had said, "Abby, it was a pleasure to meet you."

"For me too, Tony boy." she grinned.

"Yeah" he sighed, smiling. "And um ..."

"What ?" she asked, taken back by Tony's shy look.

"Sorry for that silly comment about your skirt."

"Never mind. Actually, you were right; it's a very short skirt!" she exclaimed, tourning around so that the hem was caught in the draft of the wind.

And from that moment, Tony and Abby became brother and sister.

"Gibbs! Why are you here? Something new?" she wanted to know, bringing him back from his memories.

"No."

"So? Why are you here?"

"Abs..."

"Gibbs? Why are you so hinky?"

"I need your help, but," he took a deep breathe and continud,"Abby ... you know everything about me and Hernandez and you kept the secret,"

"Yes. But Gibbs, I do not und ..."

"Let me finish," he swallowed ,"I need you to keep another secret,"

"No! Gibbs, no! I can't! Please, do not ask me that!" she said raising her voice; her eyes brimming with tears.

"I've received this," he said , showing her Rosa's message.

"Oh, my God!" she whispered as she was reading .

"I need to go there alone, Abs."

"Are you crazy? No way, Gibbs!"

"Abby, I can't risk their lives."

"And what about your life? If you'll go there, they'll kill you!"

"Maybe not."

"Maybe yes!"

"Abby , I ..."

"Why did you come to me? Why did you put me in this horrible situation? Ducky knows everything too! Why didn't you go to him? Why didn't you ask him?" she cried.

"Because he'd have convinced me not to go." he stated .

"So you came to me, because I wouldn't."

"I came to you because I knew you'd have understand."

"Are you sure?" she asked, obviously upset by his assumption.

"Abby, Tony ..." he swallowed hard, his own tears beginning to form,"Vance sent Tony in Mexico to tail Rivera, but if I hadn't killed his father, Reynosa cartel would have never been on us, so if Tony is there, it's because ..."

"Of you," she ended.

"Exactly," he sighed.

"Gibbs?"

He looked at her when she put her hands on his shoulders. "Tony is not there 'cause of you, but 'cause of Vance's orders and ..." she swallowed. "And by his own choice. He's been captured because he was trying to find Franks' family."

"Yes. And why Rivera kidnapped them?" he asked.

She didn't reply , so he answered for her. "Because Mike helped me to find Hernandez."

"I'll never make you change your mind, will I?"

He shook his head."Okay, I'll help you. I don't like it, but I'll do. You know that Tony will never approve your lone-wolf mission?"

"Yes, I know, but he'd understand why I can't risk Ziva and McGee's lives." he smiled softly.

"Yeah," she agreed. "What do you wanna me to do?"

"When I'm in Mexico, I'll need your help to find the exact position of Morales' house and to find a safe escape route."

"I'll ask Sean."

"Sean? How a NASA geek could find a safe escape route?" he wanted to know, surpris evident in his voice.

"Because his full name is Sean Miguel Azul da Silva, born in Mexico City but grew up in Miami. His twin Emilio is a cop in Mexico and ..." she took a deep breathe. "Their older brother Nelson was a cop in Texas. He was killed by some drug dealers on the border between Texas and Mexico; Sean would do anything to revenge his brother's death ... I called Sean on purpose because I knew that he would help us," she grinned.

"Very good job, Abs," he smiled."Few minutes ago , I was thinking about the first time..."

"I met Tony," she said. " Me too. You know, the first time I saw him I thought he was too charming and handsome to be intelligent." she chuckled. "But then ..." she began to cry. "Oh God, Gibbs! I love him so much! I want my older brother back! Please, bring him back, Gibbs!" she sobbed, pulling him into a hug and hiding her face against his shoulder.

"I will, Abby. I'll do." he whispered, stroking her back. "Listen, Abs ... look at me... _We_'ll bring him back, okay?"

"Yes," she sniffed, "And what about the other?"

"I'll leave tonight so they'll find out everything tomorrow morning. I need you to convince them to stay here, but do not tell them anything about the message or they'll follow me."

"Do you think I'll be able to manage it? I'm not so sure, Gibbs." she said.

Sensing her doubt, he smiled and kissed her forehead. "You'll manage."

"Okay." she reluctantly agreed.

Gibbs cell rang,"Gibbs,"

"_Boss, it's McGee. Vance wants you in his office_."

"Okay." he grunted as he hung up.

"I've to go." He gently squeezed Abby's shoulders, hoping to reassure her that everything would be all right. "Abby, I ..."

"Don't say anything, Gibbs; just come back in one piece. You _and_ Tony ." Accepting one last hug from Abby, the team leader left the lab, making his way to the Director's office.

When Gibbs was out of her Lab , Abby called an important person.

"Sister Rosita? It's Abby." She knew that the nun would be able to detect the sadness in her voice.

"Oh, my dear; what's going on? Why are you crying?"

"I'm scared," she admited. "I could loose the two most important men of my life."

"Tony and Gibbs?".

Abby knew that Sister Rosita really liked Tony. The nun had met him at Abby's house and had been immediately taken with his kidness.

When Sister Angela had broken a leg after falling down stairs one night, Sister Rosita had called Abby for help, but her car had been broken. Abby had called Tony and not only he had brought Sister Angela , Sister Rosita and Abby to the ER , but he had even stayed with them all night, despite the fact that he had worked for three days without sleeping .

"Yes," Abby finally answered. "They're in danger."

"Don't worry, dear. All Sisters will be praying for all of them."

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it, sweetheart. And tonight you'll sleep here; you can't stay alone."

"Thanks, Sister Rosita. See you tonight."

"See you and do not worry."

**Director Vance's office.**

Gibbs went into Vance's office without knocking,"Do want to see me, Director?" asked the older man.

"Yes," he sighed. "I talked with an informant in Mexico," Gibbs raised his eyeborows as he took the offered paper from the Director's hand."He sent me this map."

"What's that?" The former Marine couldn't hide the skepticism in his voice.

"The blue line is for the route that you've to take to get to Morales' house , while..." he swallowed hard. "While , the red line is for the route to a safe house."

Gibbs stared him for few seconds and then he asked,"Do you trust this man ?" Gibbs seemed almost kind with the Director, but he was just eager to help his 'son'. He would have made a pact with the devil in order to save Tony.

"You know my source personally."

"Who?"

"Tom Morrow gave me this man's name."

"Morrow? Our former Director?" Gibbs couldn't believe it; Vance must have been really desperate to call the new Director of Homeland Security.

"Yes. I told him everything and he was so worried ..."

"And pissed off." grinned Gibbs.

Vance just nodded, "I hope it will help you to find Tony."

"Agent DiNozzo, to you, Leon." Gibbs pointed out. Vance didn't have the right to call his SFA by his first name.

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow morning." Gibbs lied.

Vance just nodded and Gibbs left the office.

**Mexico .**

"Mike ... where are we?" asked Tony, lying on the floor with his head on the older man's lap. "This is ... is not ...the same room ," he observed between coughs.

"No. They brought us here about a hour ago." whispered the other man, with his back leaned against a wall.

"Why don't I remember it?"

"You were unconscious, Tony," mumbled Franks , stroking Tony's back.

"Is ... is it night or..." he couldn't stop coughing.

"Nope. This room doesn't have any windows. That's why it seems dark, not to mention, stifling."

"Like a grave," said Tony, his voice bearly audible. His head and his stomach hurt; his lungs were inflamed and congested. His body was shaking and he had a high fever. He simply felt like crap.

"Yep." Mike quietly agreed.

"I'm co ... cold." Tony couldn't stop his teeth from chattering .

"Come on, boy and raise up; lean against my chest, " Mike instructed.

Tony felt Mike hugged from behind in an effort to keep him warm. "Better ?" Mike wanted to know.

"Yes. Thanks." nodded DiNozzo. After a minute of companionable silence, Tony called out, "Mike ?"

"Mmh?"

"I'm ... I'm sorry,"

"Sorry, what for ?" he asked surprised .

"I was supposed to help you find your family , but ..."

"And you did. You were trying to help me and I should have listened to you. You do not need to apologize."

"Because it's a sign of weack ..." the cough stopped him from completing the tought.

"Nope. Because you did nothing wrong. It's all my fault if we're here and that you're in this bad shape." he insisted. "I'm sorry, Tony."

"It's okay, Mike."

"You should hate me, DiNozzo."

"No ... you ... you were just thinking ... about your girls . They're your ... fa ...family ... I know what it means ," he wheezed, lying his head on Mike's shoulder.

"You're a very good man, Tony. Jethro is luck to have you."

"I don't ... think so ... I'm," he gasped , trying to catch his breath. "I'm just a liar and a burden ... for everybody."

"Not at all, DiNozzo. You're a great man; when Jethro was in Baja with me, he told me that you're ..."

Suddenly the door opened and the dark room was filled with a blinding light . Tony and Mike blinked against the harsh brightness.

"Oh, what a nice scene! May we should leave them alone!" grinned Rivera.

"Yeah ... are you in love guys?" laughed Porter.

"You're definitely a nice couple!" laughed Napier.

"Come on!" barked Dupont, snatching Tony from Mike's arms. Tony fell down on the ground.

"He's sick! Let him go and take me !" demanded Franks.

"Sorry, but we've other plans for both of you." laughed Rivera.

"What do you mean?" Mike nervously asked, looking at Dupont that was tying a semi-unconscious Tony to a chair . They could hear his wheezing breath.

"We are waiting for a guest," answered Porter, hauling Mike up and tying him to another chair in front of Tony.

"Who ?" rasped the agent.

"You'll see." grinned Napier , closing the door and leaving them alone in the dark.

**Morales' kitchen.**

When Rivera and his friends went back to the kitchen, they found Rosa who was cooking lunch. They didn't payed attention to her as they sat down to discuss their future plans.

"So, you are sure that he's coming ?" Rivera asked Napier.

"Yes. My contact in DC told me that Agent Gibbs is coming alone and without back up."

"How does he know this?" Morales inquired, munching a carrot.

"The last time was at NCIS, he set up some microphones."

"Where?" asked Rivera.

"Men's room, bullpen and elevator."

"Elevator? Are you kidding me? Why ?" laughed Dupont.

"Because that is Gibbs' private office."

"How could he know that?" Porter wanted to know.

"An old friend told him," answered Napier.

"Who?" asked Rivera.

"Michael Rivkin."

"Do you know this man?" Dupont speculated.

"No. He's dead; Agent DiNozzo killed him. Oh I almost forgot! My friend asked me to make DiNozzo pay for that too!"

"No problem." grinned Morales.

The men didn't realized that Rosa was absorbing every word they were saying. "_So, Agent Gibbs is coming here despite my message; and someone is spying him ... I've got to help them! They didn't do anything ... I hate these bastards!_"

"Rosa! Is the lunch ready?" barked her brother, bringing her back to reality.

"Sure." she smiled, her brother completely unware that she was formulating her own plan to help the captives.

TBC

* * *

Please review !

What will happen when Gibbs will arrive in Mexico?

Will Abby keep the secret ? What will Ziva and McGee ?

See you on the next chapter ...


	21. Chapter 21

N.B.: I owe nothing of NCIS.

- A BIIIIIIG HUG for ncismom, for her precious help. You're the best beta reader of the world! Thanks :)

- In this chapter you'll meet (just the name) a new character. I created it and it will be very important in the future *wink*

- I'm really sorry for the delay :(

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_Chapter 21._

Darkness was everywhere.

Tony always hated the darkness since he was nine when his father had locked him up in a small closet without food and water. He had been so scared and desperate. Tony had forced to stay in that closet for two days and two nights untill his nanny Elena had found him, sitting in a puddle of his own filth.

The family physician had diagnosed Tony with a mild concussion along with various bruises and abrasions obviously received at his father's hands .

The doctor had wanted to take him to the hospital but his father had threatened the physician, who had met the elder DiNozzo's demands so that he could provide for his own children. Tony's father had sent him to his bedroom and had ordered the doctor to treat his son at home.

Tony's thoughts were jumbled inside his mind. Flashbacks were mixed with nightmares as his past and his present collided. Images of peole and places melted into one as his dreams continued to assault his memories.

_I can't breathe! I need to get away! Father, take me out of here, please! I know I let you down Gibbs! Why are you not here? I need your help. Forgive me, please. I'll be good, dad. _

_Jeanne, I didn't want to make you suffer; I'm sorry! I was following your oders, Jenny. No! You died because of me and Gibbs hates me! Why do I hurt those I love? I'm a bastard; but I didn't mean to hurt them. _

_Alice, I miss you so much; my sweet angel keep watching me wherever you are; I miss you so much. _

_Ziva, I wanted to protect you. Why didn't you understand that?_

_Ducky! Ducky, please, tell Gibbs to come here! Please! Palmer, help them; No! Don't leave me alone!_

His father voice echoed in his head,_ ''DiNozzo's do not cry! I love you, Anthony.''_

_NO! You don't love me! Gibbs loves me, but why he's not here? He doesn't care about me!_

_I can't breathe! NO! Don't put me in that blue room! I want to go home!_

_Mamma, bring me home! No she can't! She's dead; help me , please._

_Yes mommy, I'm coming to you... but I want to stay here!_

_Nobody cares about me; I'm dying!_

In the dark, Mike could hear Tony's moans; he knew very well what those sounds meant. He had heard the same noises in Vietnam, when he was on guard duty and his buddies were calling out to their families in the throes of their nightmares.

"Tony, come on , man; wake up. It's just a nightmare," he whispered, trying to not startle the younger man. Mike scooted his chair around untill he was in front of Tony; he wanted to reassure him that he was not alone.

With some exertion, Mike managed to touch Tony's knee with his, unintentionally causing the agent to flinch. "Tony, it's Mike. Don't be afraid. Open your eyes. It's just a bad dream."

He heard Tony mumbling, "It's dark... I hate the dark."

"Yes, the room is dark. Don't you remember that there aren't any windows here?"

"Here? Where are we? Who are you?"

Mike had expected Tony to be confused, but the fact that the younger man didn't even know his name worried him. It was obvious that the fever was taking its toll on DiNozzo and that his hallucinations were comsuming him, forcing him to relive a pain filled past that Tony had attempted to bury long ago. The older man was also really concerned about Tony's lungs. Gibbs had told him everything about the plague's scars and he knew that Tony's fever could easly degenerate into pneumonia that could have been fatal, if not properly and quickly treated.

"I'm Mike Franks. Do you remember me? You were helping me to find my family."

"No. Why am I here?"

"Tony, the people that kidnapped my family captured us and..." he swallowed hard. How he could explain Tony that he has been tortured because of his carelessness?

"I want to go home," sniffed Tony , in a child voice. "Why... why..." he coughed, "Why I can't breathe?"

Mike quickly realized that Tony was struggling for air as a feeling of helplessness began to overwhelm him.

"I...I..." Tony continued to gasp.

"Tony, breathe slowly. In and out. Slowly, Tony." _God help us! Help him!_

"Brea... breathe... I can't breathe... help me!" Tony begged.

"Listen to my voice and just breathe slowly, okay? In and out; in and out," he soothed. He finally heard Tony's breathing begin to even out. "Good. That's good, kid. Feelin' better?"

"A little," panted the younger man. "My lungs don't seem be working too well."

"Yeah," sighed Mike, fully aware of what Tony's truobled breathing meant. "I wish Gibbs were here."

"Gibbs? Who is this... oh, my God," sobbed Tony.

"What ?"

"I remember. I remember now," he said, in between coughs, "The blue lights! I had...I had plague and... they... three men tortured me just a few... few days ago... they... they scourged me," he cried silently.

"Yes." admitted Mike.

"Gibbs will never come," stated DiNozzo. "He will never come. Why should he? I betrayed him."

"You didn't betray anybody! And I'm sure that..." Mike was interrupted by shouting voices outside the room.

**Benito Suarez Airport - Mexico City.**

When Gibbs' flight landed, a crescent moon lit up the dark sky. It looked like a beautiful night in mid-September, but the NCIS Agent knew that evil was lying underneath the veil of the starry sky.

He was tired and needed to sleep, but he couldn't waste time. Every moments was precious and for Tony, a minute could make the difference between living or dying. Gibbs collected the rental car from the parking lot and headed to Fresnillo.

Once he was on the road, he sent Abby a text: _Landed. I'm fine. Going to Fresnillo. Get ready._

Gibbs had a long road ahead and he needed to hurry. He didn't care that Tony's torturers were waiting for him. Tony was in danger and that was the only thing that mattered.

"Hold on, Tony. I'm coming!"

**Washington D.C.**

Abby was still in her lab pretending to work; in realty, she was just waiting for Gibbs' message. She held Bert tightly as she stared at a map of Fresnillo on the plasma. Abby was so worried for her friends that she didn't hear the elevator's ding.

xxxxx

Ducky had just finished the autopsy of a 60-years-old Admiral who had dropped dead of a heart attack at the eighth hole of the Norfolk Naval Golf Course.

"You only have yourself to blame, my dear fellow! You were a monument to cholesterol!" the ME scolded the corpse.

He suddenly recalled that certain agents were past due on their blood work, mainly the team of one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He would have to see Jethro in the morning and force them to schedule an appointment. Ducky suddenly stopped in mid thought, realizing that something was amiss.

_This is very unsual! Anthony is in a peril, but Jethro is not here pacing my floor. It's late at night and Ziva and Timothy have gone home some hours ago; this should be the moment when he usually comes to me. _

The wise doctor shuddered because of a bad feeling. _I don't like it; maybe Abigail knows something._

Ducky hung his lab coat on the hanger and went to the lab.

When Ducky stepped out of the elevator, he first thought that Abby had gone home too. Slowly he made his way to the door and saw Abby witting on a stool with her stuffed hippo in her arms, staring at the plasma. _She's really worried. Maybe even scared._

"Abby," he quietly called out, trying to not startle her.

"Oh, Ducky!" she jumped up off the stool.

"Sorry my dear, I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized.

"No, you didn't. I was just waiting for some tests results," she explained. The ME easily sensed that she was lying.

"Just waiting for test results, Abigail?" he asked , raising his eyebrows. "I think you were thinking about Anthony."

He smiled when she nodded. "They'll find him, my dear. Tomorrow morning Ziva, Timothy and Jethro will leave to..." Ducky didn't miss the strange expression that was now etched on Abby's face. "Is there something that I should know or perhaps something that you want to tell me?"

"No. Why would you think that?" she asked avoiding his stare.

"Because you're lying, my dear. What happened?"

Abby's cell rang and she immediately read the message. "Bad news?"

"No!" she answered too quickly.

"Abigail..."

"Ducky, don't call me Abigail!"

"And you stop lying to me," he replied harshly. When he saw her red brimmed eyes he changed his tone. "Oh, my dear. What's going on?"

"Oh, Ducky!" she cried, hugging him tightly,"I'm supposed to keep it a secret but I can't!"

"A secret?" Ducky pulled her into a hug and gently rubbed her back. "Abby, you can tell me everything."

"Gibbs left to Mexico alone."

"What?" Ducky couldn't believe what he had just heard.

"Yes, it was him on the cell. He's just arrived and he's going to Fresnillo to save Tony!" Abby didn't even try to disguise her desperate cry.

"Shhh. Calm down my dear. Calm down. They'll be fine." whispered Ducky, not believing his own words. _You can't do this again! Damn, Jethro!_

TBC

* * *

I know, I know! I used my name for the new character and this is a bit vain, but I like my name and... it wouldn't be a bad idea to ''have something to do'' with our Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo! *winking*

Please review!

See you on the next chapter...


	22. Chapter 22

N.B.: I owe nothing of NCIS.

- Another BIIIIIIG HUG for ncismom, for her preciuos help. You're the best beta reader of the world! Thanks :)

-Thanks for all your reviews :)))

_**" Regrets and ... "**_

_Chapter 22._

Ziva was lying on her soft double bed but she was unable to sleep. She couldn't stop thinking about the video and knowing from experience what it was like to be tortured, she couldn't bear the thought of Tony living that hell. He didn't deserve it. Tony was there to save Amira and Leyla.

_How could I be mad at him just because he wasn't at my oath ceremony? I should have understood that if he wasn't there he had a very good reason. We've got to save him! He saved my life; without his determination and inane babbling, we would have died; all of us. When I find those bastards I'll make them pay for everything! I'll dust off all my old techniques_.

But there was something more; something inexplicable that bothered her. _Gibbs was too quiet. He didn't try to find another flight to Mexico. I do not like it._

**xxxxx**

In another part of time, Thimothy McGee was having a difficult time sleeping as well. He was typing on his old typewriter and remembering when Tony had done the same thing during the Cove case.

_If you even think about writing a third novel, I'll kill you. _Tony's words echoed in his mind making him chuckle.

His relationship with DiNozzo had been unique, since their first meeting.

The young agent had litteraly been terrified of meeting the legendary special agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man that could paralyzed you with a glare, and when Tim had met Gibbs' senior field agent, the equally famous Anthony DiNozzo, he had been shocked. It was well known that nobody could get along with Gibbs and not being scared by him, so everybody at NCIS couldn't stop talking about the close bond between the two agents and why the former marine could work with such a cocky guy.

_It's easy! They didn't know Tony!_

After almost seven years McGee knew why Tony and Gibbs were so close. Tony was the son that Gibbs had never had and the older man was the father that his colleague had never had. They were complementary.

When Gibbs was pissed off, Tony was the only one who could calm him down and deflect his anger with a joke or a smile.

In turn, whenever Tony was sad or frustrated, Gibbs was the only one who could reassure him. They knew each other as well as they knew themselves and both of them would have risked his life for the other without a second thought.

They weren't afraid to say what was in their minds and they weren't afraid to fight because they knew that their relationship would survive.

Tim envied that so close bond and this was the real reason of his recent behavior regarding Tony.

_I don't mind his jokes, his endless teasings or his nicknames. I just envy him. Even though I keep telling myself that I'm better than him, I envy him. Tony is what I always wanted to be. He's smart but he can play the role of the fool if it's necessary. He thinks like a cop and has a great instincts. He hides his feeling behind a smile and he never seems afraid. Tony and Gibbs understood each other with just a glance; most of the time they didn't need words to communicate. _

Tim smiled softly. _I'd never thought I'd say it, but I've got to thank you, DiNozzo. Despite all the times you tormented me, you've taught me how to face the tension and the tougher moments of your job. __Oh my God! I can believe it. _A sudden realization dawned on him. _Tony's the best friend I've ever had; I just hope I have the chance to tell him._

Tim's cell phone rang. "McGee"

"McGee, listen," said familiar voice.

"Ziva?" He was surprised to hear from her at three o'clock in the morning.

"Yes. I've got a problem."

"Just one?" he grinned. _We've got a bunch of problems!_

"I was thinking about..."

"Tony," he finished. "Me too."

"Yes, but I was thinking about Gibbs too."

"It's inevitable. If you think about one of the them you always end up thinking about the other one too."

"Exactly! Don't you think that Gibbs was a little too calm?"

"What do you mean?" he inquired.

"We've seen the video and we know where Tony could be."

"Yes. So your point is?"

"Gibbs knows that Tony could die in any moment and he just waits until tomorrow to go to Mexico? I do not pay for it!"

"Buy it," Tim smiled as he automatically corrected her. "So you think that he could..."

"Does the Maddie Tyler ring any bells, McGee?"

"I'll meet you at NCIS."

"Okay."

They hung up simultaneously.

_God, please. Tell me that he didn't do such a stupid thing! _McGee dashed going to his car, hoping that Ziva wouldn't kill anyone on her way to work; they had enough problems without adding vehicular manslaughter to the list.

A few miles north of McGee's apartment, Ziva was running the nth red light. _Gibbs, if you left to Mexico alone, I'll kill you with my hands! I swear!_

TBC.

* * *

See you on the next chapter. I promise it will be longer.


	23. Chapter 23

NB: I owe nothing of NCIS

- Thanks for all your reviews and I promise you that within a few chapters I'll be back to present :)

- ncismom, you're the best beta reader of the world. Thanks for your help!

_** " Regrets and... "**_

_Chapter 23._

**Mexico.**

Normally it took a little more than eight hours to go from Mexico City to Fresnillo, but Gibbs managed to cover this distance in less than seven and arrived in town early in the morning.

Upon his arrival, he went to Tony and Mike's hotel and reserved a room. Gibbs knew that he needed to sleep, but he also knew that he couldn't waste time; every moment was precious and could make the difference between life and death.

Gibbs sat down in a chair and opened a map on the table in front of him. Once he was settled, he turned his laptop on and contacted Abby.

**xxxxx**

''What the hell!" Tony heard Franks exclaiming.

"What's going on?" he whispered. Even in his muddled state, he could hear some people shouting outside of their room. ''Mike? I can hear women's voices and...''

''Oh, my God! No! That is Amira! What are they doing to my little girl?''

There was no mistaking the panic in Mike's voice. Tony wanted to reached out the desperate man but he was too tired and weak. _God, help her. Do not let them hurt her. She's just a child._

**xxxxx**

''Abs,'' sighed Gibbs as he saw his favorite Goth on the screen.

''Gibbs, where are you?'' she quietely asked.

The team leader knew that Abby was normally one of the happiest people that he had ever known, but a quiet Abby was usually a sign that something was wrong. ''Abs, what's going on?''. He saw her raise her eyes for just a second and immediately look away. ''Abby!" he barked.

Suddenly another figure appeared on the screen and Gibbs understood Abby's discomfort. Ducky was standing besides her, displeasure etched on his elderly face.

''It's good, Abs. Don't worry. I shouldn't have asked you to keep such a secret,'' the team leader reassured her.

''You're right, Jethro! You never should have placed her in such an awkward position!" Ducky retorted.

''Yep, " admitted Gibbs uncomfortably, but he couldn't waste time to discuss his behavoir. ''Abby, I need to know the exact position of Morales' house.''

''I'm on it,'' she eagerly replied as she started typing on her keyboard.

**Washington DC**

McGee exit out of the elevator and found Ziva already sitting at her desk. ''Finally!" she impatiently greeted him.

''How could you get here bef..." Tim tried to ask, but he stopped as he saw Ziva's glare, ''Never mind. I saw Abby's car in the parking lot,''

''Yes, this means that she's still here so...''

''So, she is working on the case. Let's go and see what she's come up with.'' Ziva said as she rose up and, followed by McGee, she hurried to elevator.

**xxxxx**

As they entered the lab, they heard Abby saying, ''Okay, I've got it! Morales has two houses in Fresnillo, but one of them is near the...''

Ziva and McGee slowly entered into the lab just in time to hear Gibbs barking, ''Abs!"

''Gibbs,'' Ziva exclaimed, startling both Ducky and Abby.

''Boss,'' echoed McGee seriously.

''Gibbs! I swear I didn't tell them anything!" exclaimed the scientist.

''So, you all know now. Good,'' Gibbs grinned, proud of his team.

''We're coming down there, boss," announced McGee.

''No, I work better alone,''

''Of course you do,'' muttered Ziva.

''What is that supposed to mean, Agent David?'' the team leader demanded to know.

''She means that this time Tony won't be there to save your life as he did in the Maddie Tyler case, boss,'' McGee stated, his audacity surprising them all.

''Excuse me, I think it's better if we postpone this discussion to another time'' Ducky suggested wisely. ''Anthony may be running out of time.''

''Abby?'' Gibbs pressed.

''Yes! This is the sat image of Morales' house where we think they brought Tony and Mike. There's still a lot of activity and,'' she pushed some other buttons, ''This is the last image that I've received about thirty minutes ago. If I enlarge it, you can see some people outside the house and some SUV's too. I think they're still there, Gibbs, but it seems like...''

''They're planning on leaving,'' Gibbs deduced.

''Do you think they want to move the prisoners somewhere else?'' asked Ducky hopefully.

''I think that...'' started Gibbs.

''They are going to...'' added Ziva.

''Kill all of them,'' concluded McGee.

They all watched Gibbs on the screen as he simply nodded. A heavy silence fell upon them.

**Mexico**

Outside Tony and Franks' room, Morales' men and Rosa were arguing and shouting.

''Let them go!'' shouted Rosa, trying to free Leyla and Amira from Porter's grip.

''Let them go, bitch!" the guard shouted, pulling Leyla and Amira towards him.

''Rosa! Que pasa?'' roared Morales as he came from the house.

''He wants to bring them somewhere and kill them. You can't let him do that!"

''They saw us! They have to die!" the American angrily pointed out.

''Sir, please,'' Leyla whispered, tightly hugging her crying child. ''She is just a child. She can't do anything bad to you. Please, sir. I'm begging you, let her go!''

''Shut up!" Porter slapped her, making Amira crying louder. ''Make her shut up or I'll kill her here immediately!"

Leyla hid her daughter's head against her shoulder with her hands to try to muffle her cries. She stared Rosa knowing that she was their only chance to survive.

''Maybe we should let go the little girl,'' Dupont quietely said.

''Why? Are you getting soft?'' smirked Napier.

''No, but I don't like killing children.''

''Yes, sir. Please, save her,'' Leyla implored him.

''I told you to shut up!" Porter yelled.

''It's not up to you, Porter,'' whispered Dupont.

''What do you mean?''

''We all work for Rivera, so this should be his decision and not yours,'' explained the French man.

''Where is Alejandro?'' Rosa intervened as she looked around.

''He's still in the house. Why?'' asked her brother.

''I will talk with him,'' she announced, turning to head towards the house.

''Oh no, my dear. You're not going anywhere,'' grinned Porter as he grabbed her arm. She stared him, fear consuming her soul.

''I have already told you to not touch my sister,'' hissed Morales on his face. ''She can go wherever she wants to. Let. Her. Go.''

Porter raised his arms smirking and Rosa went away as she tried to hide the trembling of her hands.

**xxxxx**

''They aren't shouting anymore,'' whispered Tony. His observation was met with silence. ''Mike? Are you with me?''

''Yeah,'' a murmur came from somewhere in front of him.

''I'm...'' Tony was stopped by a bad coughing fit. He couldn't breathe. His chest was heavy and his lungs were shutting down; he could barely hear Mike calling his name. _I'm dying. I drowning in my lungs. Oh, God! I can't go on like this. No! I've got to hold on. I've got to help them. But how?_

When the cough finally subsided, he was so exhausted that he dind't even try to open his eyes. In his confusion he didn't notice that now there was someone else in the room with them.

''Here. Drink slowly,'' said a sweet voice as a gentle hand held his head up. Tony squinted his eyes and saw two kind black eyes smiling to him in the light that came from the opened door. ''Slowly,'' Rosa repeated as she helped him to lean back.

''Thanks,'' he rasped. ''What happened outside?''

''Nothing important.''

''You're lying,'' whispered the older man still sitting in front of Tony.

Tony saw sadness and concern in her eyes, ''Why are... are y-you here? If they sa-saw... you,'' his voice was soft and rough after the coughing episode.

''They don't mind. I can stay here whatever I want to.'' He watched as she offered Mike some water.

Tony frowned, ''I don't un... understand.'' Talking was becoming increasingly difficult.

''I have to keep you alive until...''

''Until what?" Mike growled.

''Until the man you told me to call,'' she explained looking at Tony.

''Gibbs,'' he sighed.

''Yes. Until he will arrive,''

''He's not co.. coming,'' coughed Tony. Pneumonia was taking over his already plague scarred lungs and he didn't know how long he would last without medical attention.

His heart was telling him that he should trust Gibbs. He knew that the man would willingly die to save him and that he should just hold onto that hope.

Unfortunately, his mind was in direct conflict with his heart. Tony felt that Gibbs no longer trust him as he did in the past.

He thought that he had already disappointed the team leader many times in the past and he current situation just added to the growing list; one of these days Gibbs would get tired of him and of saving his butt and let him reap the consequences of his actions.

''Yes, he's coming and they are waiting for him.''

They heard some steps approaching them. ''I've got to go now,'' she insisted, heading towards the door.

''Wher... where are ya... going?'' the younger man demanded to know.

''I'm going to save your life,'' she smiled as she scanned the hall outside the room.

''Stop!" Tony raised his voice and he immediately regreted it as another fit of coughing depleted his oxygen from his weakened lungs.

Rosa went back to him and pounded him on the back until he spit a clot of mucus on the floor. ''Breathe slowly, Tony,'' he heard her saying as she pushed back a strand of sweat soaked hair.

He opened his eyes and smiled at her gratefully, ''Save Leyla and Amira. Do... do not... th-think about us. Don't ri-risk your... your life f... for us.''

''Shhh. Don't worry,'' she kissed his forehead and whispered, ''You're the best man that I have ever known,''

Tony sighed as he leaned his throbbing head on her shoulder. ''Save them, please,'' he whispered barely audible.

''I will save all of you,'' she kissed his head once more and headed out of the room and to one of the worst men that she had ever met: Alejandro Rivera.

TBC

* * *

Don't worry. Gibbs is finally coming, but what will happen?

See you on the next chapter...


	24. Chapter 24

NB: I owe nothing of NCIS.

- Thank you so much for all your reviews!

- Thank you, ncismom. Your help is so invaluable to me :)

_**'' Regrets and... ''**_

_Chapter 24._

Rosa walked along a dark hall heading to the kitchen where she would find Alejandro. She had a clear plan in her mind, but she knew she had to be careful because although he really liked her, he wouldn't permit his personal feelings hinder his own plan. She had just two cards up her sleeve: the attraction that he felt for her and the fact that he was very superstitious.

She entered into the kitchen and smiled at him. ''Alejandro, I was looking for you.''

''Really? What can I do for you, Mi Bonita?'' He eyed her appreciatively, his facial expression indicating that he was pleased with what he saw.

She felt a shiver down her spine. _He reminds me of a s__nake! I hate this bastard! _''I need your help,'' she smiled sweetly as she touched his arm with her hand.

''Anything for you,'' he replied as he pulled her closer.

''Porter wants to kill the woman and the child,'' she informed him as she met his gaze. ''And I'm scared.''

''Why?'' he chuckled as he gently brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

''Do you remember what La Bruja always used to say?''

La Bruja (witch) was an old woman that lived close to Rosa and Alejandro's families when they were children. All the locals had been scared by her and nobody had never tried to contradict her warnings and mysterious saying. All the children knew that the witch could do really bad things with her black magic and little Alejandro had been particulary scared of her and still was to this very day.

Alejandro swallowed hard. ''What?" Rosa was sure that he was looking for the witch's ghost.

''She said that if someone killed a child, that person would be cursed for the rest of their life,'' she lied.

''Really? I-I don't remember that.'' Rosa saw a few drops of sweat dewying his forhead as he paled.

''Yes Alejandro, you ordered Porter to kill them so all the blame will fall on you, and I don't...'' she sniffled. ''I couldn't beare that something bad happened to you,''

''What do you think I should do?'' It was clear that he wasn't thinking clearly and he was just really scared.

''Let me take care of them,'' she suggested.

''What do you mean?''

''I'll bring them with me and I'll leave them somewhere along the road to Mexico City. Someone will find them or...''

''Or they'll die of hunger and thirst, but it won't be your fault.''

''No?''

''No. It will just be bad luck,'' she smiled as she playfully tugged at his collar. ''What do you think?''

''Porter will never agree,'' he answered as he released her and started pacing in the room.

''It doesn't matter.'' Rosa grabbed him by the arm and forced him to turn around and face her. ''Who's the boss? You. You're the boss and a strong man, aren't you?''

''Yes, but...''

''So I was wrong?'' She turned and headed towards the door.

''What do you mean?''

She looked at him, ''I thought you were a strong man like your father, but clearly I was wrong. You're just a weak boy and I don't have time for weak boys.''

''No! I'm their boss!"

''Really? Then prove it!''

He stormed out the room and headed to the small of people in the yard.

Rosa grinned as she followed him. She had played him and now he was deteminated to prove her that she was wrong and that he was as strong as his father had been when he leaded the drug cartel, but at her eyes he was just pathetic.

_You're such an idiot. There isn't a__ doubt in my mind that your sister was the one in charge and you were just one of her pawns._

**xxxxxxxxx**

Gibbs needed to find something that provided proof that Tony and Mike were at Morales' house. Unfortunately, he also knew that he couldn't talk with local police because it was well-known that some of them had links with the drug cartels.

I figured out that the best way to discover what happens in a hotel is to talk with the girl at the reception desk. Gibbs knew that DiNozzo had sometimes used his looks to his advantage to get information and the team leader figured it would work for him as well . ''Excuse me,'' he grinned, allowing his smile to reach his blue eyes.

_It's not DiNozzo's smile but it works as well! _Gibbs thought when the girl looked up from her work, her pleasant expression mirroring his own. ''Yes, _senor_?''

''I had an appointment with a friend in this hotel, but I arrived late and I missed him. I know that he has a room here, but he didn't answer the door. He was with an older man. Have you seen him? He's tall, younger than me, green eyes...''

He saw the girl's eyes sparkle with recongnition. _She definitely remembers him! _''Yes, Mr. James Wallace. He was with an older man,''

_James Wallace? I'm sure it has something to do with movies. _''Do you know where I could find them?'' the team leader asked hopefully.

She turned to look at the panel where the keys were kept. ''Their keys are here, so they're out.''

''Any idea on where they could have gone? It's very important.''

''Usually the Americans go to the bar across the street. The owner is an American too and he knows everything about what the Americans are up to.''

''Thank you very much,'' Gibbs smiled heading to the exit.

''_De nada, senor. Senor_?'' she called out to him.

''Yes?''

''If you find James, tell him that he promised me he would take me to dance and I'm still waiting.''

''Sure. I'll tell him as soon as I find me,'' Gibbs promised as he headed towards the door.

_DiNozzo. DiNozzo. I'll never change. _Chuckled Gibbs as he crossed the street. _I just hope you'll be able to keep flirting with every woman of the world. _He sighed as he opened the bar's door as he silently hoped that Tony would be able to keep the promise to the young lady. _I really hope that, Tony_.

**xxxxxxx**

Benito Suarez was a widower, a former Mexican policeman, and the father of two honest and valiant policemen, Julio and Omar. He had always been a honest man that worked hard to help people and to stop the drug trafficking, but when the Reynosa Cartel killed Julio, he retired and started working for CIA. He had become their informant and their chief contact in Mexico when they needed help for some illegal operations against drug cartels.

Benito was a man full of resources and he practically knew everything that happened in the undrworld of his country. He lived in a small isolated house not far from Morales' in Abrego and he knew that there were a woman, a child and two Americans in that house and one of them was a federal agent.

Whenever he grew tired of being alone and his old battered pick-up worked, he used to go to Fresnillo to drink some _cervesas _with his best friend and informant Gary Scott, a forty year old American with a shady past and a cocky smile. Gary was the proud owner of the most infamous bar of the town.

''_Que pasa, Gary?_'' asked Benito as he entered the smoky bar.

''Benito! It's been a long since I've seen you. What have you been up to?''

''I've been busy,'' grinned the older man as he sat on a stool at the counter. He took the beer that Gary had already opened for him. ''Any news?''

He saw the younger man looking around and winking at him. ''No, _todos tranquillo_,'' he answered cleaning the counter.

After a few minutes of companionable silence, they saw the only other two patrons going out of the bar. ''So?'' asked Benito.

''This morning another guest arrived in town.''

''From _Norte_?'' he demanded to know, taking a sip of his beer.

''Yep.''

''Anything else?''

''He's a Marine.''

''How could know that?''

''I've been in the Corps. I could recognize a Marine with my eyes closed.''

''I'm wondering why he's here,'' murmured the older man thoughtfully.

''Looking for two friends?''

''Do you think?''

Gary just nodded.

''Where is he?'' inquired the former cop.

''At the hotel across the...''

The bar's door opened and a gray haired man with an unusual hair cut entered. They looked at him silently as he scanned the dimly lit room. Benito looked at Gary and the younger man nodded.

''_Buenos dìas, senor_,'' Gary greeted him.

''Good morning. A beer, _por favor,_'' the stranger ordered as he sat down next to Benito.

''American?'' asked the bartender as he gave him his beer. The man just nodded. ''You're very far from home,'' smiled the younger man. The American nodded again. ''Looking for some adventure in the wild Mexico?'' the bartender joked.

''Maybe,'' shrugged the other as he turned to Benito that was silently staring a him. ''Problems?''

Benito lightly smiled, ''No. Not me,''

''What do you mean?'' the other man demanded to know with a stare that could kill.

Benito turned to Gary and with a light nod, he silentely instructed him to leave them alone. The younger man nodded back and said, ''I'll be in the back if you need me.''

**xxxxxxx**

''Porter, I changed my mind. We don't need to kill them,'' Rivera stated.

''What? Are you crazy?'' Porter roared. ''They saw us! You can't let them live! Why are you doing this?''

''I've got my reasons and that's all you need to know. You work for me and you've got to do what I want to!" Rivera said looking at Rosa, who stood behind the American and next to Dupont. His confidence grew when he saw her smile of approval.

''She made you change your mind! She's playing you!" yelled the mercenary as he turned to face Rosa. ''You bitch! What did you give him? What did you promise him? Sex?''

"Let her alone! This is just my decision and if you dare to insult..."

Rivera's tirade abruptly interrupted by Morales when a punch to the jaw resulted in Porter ending up on the ground.

''Stop! Porter, Dupont, go inside and pack all our stuff we've got to go. Then you two will stay here waiting for Agent Gibbs.''

Porter stood up and tried to say something, but his boss stopped him. ''I've a job for you. Keep the prisoners alive and kill DiNozzo in front of his boss. Okay?''

The other man just nodded and went to the house cursing.

''Rosa, take the woman and her daughter with you and do. You know what to do,'' he smiled caressing her cheek.

''Sure, Alejandro,'' she smiled back as she leaned to him and whispered to his ear, ''You're a strong man and I like that.''

Rosa brought Leyla and Amira to her car and drove away, while Rivera got ready to leave with Morales.

**xxxxxxx**

Rosa kept her eyes fixed on the road in front of them, glancing in her review mirror every so often to ensure that they weren't being followed as she drove to Fresnillo. She couldn't believe that Alejandro had really let them go. _I can't believe he's so superstitious and stupid! He let them go! I played him! It's too good to be true! Now I just need to find that Agent Gibbs that's supposedly arrived._

''Where are we going?'' asked Leyla hugging tightly her daughter. ''Rosa? Where are we going? Rosa?'' she asked again as she touched her arm.

''Oh, sorry. I'm taking you to a safe place,'' she reassured her.

''And Mike and Tony?''

''I don't know. I hope they can survive until Gibbs comes to save them,'' she sighed.

_Hold on Tony, please. I'll try to find your friend, but you do not give up. Diòs, ayudalo!_

**xxxxxxx**

''You should calm down,'' Dupont suggested as he watched Porter pace back and forth.

''Calm down! He let that bitch playing him! That woman could recognize us! My life depends on my invisibility!"

''But if you don't calm down, Morales will kill you and you know that he can be really cruel,'' his friend reminded him.

''How can I calm down? I'm so pissed off that I could kill somebody!"

''Well, why don't you vent your anger on a punching bag?'' Dupont winked.

''We don't have a punching bag, a**hole.''

''No, but we've got two human punching bags at the end of the hall. Rivera said that we've got to keep them alive, but he didn't say that we couldn't touch them. I would start with the younger one,'' the French evilly grinned.

Without wasting time, Porter went to Tony and Mike's room.

**xxxxxxx**

When the mecenary threw open the door of the dark room the prisoners were blinded by the light.

''What the hell?" Mike shouted still tied to the chair.

Passing by him, Porter threw Mike on the ground with a shove and kicked him in his stomach. Mike groaned in pain as he tried to catch his breath.

''Mike?'' Tony murmured as he felt someone roughly grabbing his hair and jerking his head back.

''What...'' The first punch hit him on his already bruised ribs and he felt the unmistakable sound of breaking bones. He hissed in pain but didn't cry out. _I'll never give you the pleasure of hear me scream, bastard!_

The second punch hit Tony's left jaw and broke his cheek bone and he swallowed some of his blood and started coughing hard. ''Ca-can't... bre-breathe.''

''I don't care.'' Porter spat on his face as he punched Tony again in the face, breaking his nose. A spray of blood ended up on Mike's face.

''Stop! Stop! You'll kill him! Take me and leave him alone!" shouted the older man.

''Mike... no... you..." Tony tried to talk, but another punch hit him on his right cheek and broke off one of his teeth. He spat blood and a piece of one of his molars.

''Please, let him alone. He had enough. Please,'' Mike begged.

Porter's answer was another puch that hit Tony's temple and knocked him out.

Tony sighed in relief as he felt unconsciousness claiming him. _This time you'd be proud of me, Gibbs. I didn't even moan. I'll hold on but you've got to hurry, boss._

Although his victim dangled uncoscious in his hands, the cruel hireling kept punching Tony until his face was a mask of blood.

When Porter had finally vent out all his anger and he was too tired to keep beating his prisoner, he threw Tony on the ground and left him there in a puddle of blood and dust gasping for breath.

The door closed leaving the prisoners alone in the dark.

''Tony? Tony? DiNozzo? You with me?'' Mike asked as a lump closed his throat.

Nobody answered.

**xxxxxx**

The gray haired man was staring at the man in front of him, deciding if he could trust him or not.

''Benito Suarez,'' the older man leaned his hand. ''And you are?''

''Gibbs,'' the former marine gruffly replied. _Who's this man? Can I trust him? Use your gut, Gibbs!_

''You're a Marine,'' stated the Mexican.

''Yes. I was a gunnery Sergeant. And you?''

''I was a policeman.''

''And now?''

''Let's just say that sometimes I help people.''

''Are you a Red Cross nurse?'' Gibbs taunted as he swallowed a gulp of beer.

Benito lightly laughed nodding, ''Sort of. I think I could help you too."

''Why do you think that I need your help? I'm here for some adventure, ya remember?''

''No, you're looking for two men, a woman and a child,'' Suarez solemnly replied.

Gibbs frowned at those words. He knew that it was very risky, but he needed to find Tony before it was too late. ''Maybe,'' he answered.

''You're in the right place and with the right man,'' Benito smiled.

TBC.

* * *

Gibbs'll arrive on the next chapter. Pinky promise :)

How will he get there? What will he find? And what will happen to all of them?


	25. Chapter 25

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

- I'm really sorry for the delay, but we've had some site's problems :(

- I can't find the right words to thank all of you for you reviews and support. GRAZIE!

- Thank you ncismom. You're amazing!

_**" Regrets and... "**_

_Chapter 25._

Rosa parked her car and killed the engine two blocks from her home as she turned to look at Leyla sitting in the passenger seat. "Get out. We need to hurry. I don't want anyone to see us.''

''Where are we going?'' asked the other woman as she got out the car carrying Amira in her arms.

''You'll stay in the basement of my house until I find a better place or...'' She looked around to be sure that nobody was following them. The sun shone high in the sky and the air was so hot that nobody was willing to walk on the streets in that early September afternoon.

''Or?'' asked Leyla as she crossed the street with Rosa.

''Or until I find agent Gibbs,'' she finished. ''Wait!'' she froze as she saw a man down the street. Rosa shoved Leyla in a dark alley and stayed there with her. "That's one of my brother's men.''

They saw the man walking along the road and stopping in front of Rosa's house. _My brother must have called him to make sure that I complete my mission._

''I shouldn't be at home,'' she whispered. ''I was supposed to leave you two on the way to Mexico City so I should still be on the road.''

''What we do now?"

Rosa didn't answer but looked around. _I can't take my car. The engine's sound would alert him in these silent streets._

''Follow me!'' she ordered as she went down the alley. At the end of the dark lane she surveyed the big street in front of them. ''Come on. We need to run now. Can you carry her?'' she wanted to know.

Rosa knew that the woman and the little girl hadn't eaten properly for many days despite all her efforts to help them, so she was sure that they should be very weak and tired. ''Yes, I can.'' Leyla declared as she tightly hugged her daughter.

They ran across the street and along another alley.

The two women kept running, stopping, surveying and hiding for several minutes until they ended up in a small square just behind an old low rise building. They could barely breathe in the stifled air and their hearts throbbed in fear.

Rosa headed to a wooden door on the other side of the building. Leyla followed close behind her. ''Where are we?''

Rosa knocked on the door as she answered, ''This is the back door of a friend's bar. I knew him some years ago. He's American and he hates my brother,'' she smiled. ''We can trust him. We'll be safe here.''

The door opened and without hesitation as Rosa blew out a pent op breath. ''I need your help.''

''Sure. Come in.''

''Thank you, Gary.'' She entered a dark hallway followed by Leyla and a sobbing Amira.

They followed Gary and entered in a small office. ''Please, sit.'' he said.

Rosa sat down on a chair enjoying the cool air from the air condicioner while Leyla collapsed on a couch, laying her daughter down next to her.

''Mommy, I'm thirsty,'' sobbed the little girl.

''I'll bring you some juice.'' smiled Gary as he headed to the door.

''Gary, I need to talk with you.'' Rosa stood up and she turned to Leyla. ''Stay here and rest. I'll be back in a minute.''

They went out and closed the door. ''What's going on, Rosa? Who are they? They're not Mexican,'' whispered Gary.

''I'm sure that you heard about the people that my brother...''

''Wait! Are they his prisoners? Why the hell did you take them here? Your brother could...''

''Rivera. Do you know him?''

''Sure. Is Rivera behind all this mess?'' Gary asked, his voice etched with concern and worry. They were talking about two of cruelest men of Mexico.

''Rivera ordered me to leave them on the road to Mexico City, so they would die of thirst or get attacked by coyotes.''

''This is insane! Why didn't he kill them?''

Rosa knew that she didn't have time to fully explain him all that had happened in the last few days, because she needed to go back to her house before the man that was watching her house started to suspect that she had lied to all of them. ''Long story and I've no time now. Listen, Gary. I know that I'm putting you in danger, but I didn't know where else to go. I wanted to hide them in my basement, but a man was watching my house so...''

''No. That's ok. You did good to come here.'' Gary smiled as he entered his bar, followed by Rosa.

Benito and Gibbs were still sat at the counter. ''Do you want another beer?'' Gary asked his two patrons as he opened a fridge and pulled out a small bottle of orange juice.

''No, thanks,'' smiled Benito as Gibbs just shook his head. They were both staring the dark haired woman.

From the hallway a woman called out, ''Rosa, Amira needs the bathroom.''

They all turned to look at her, but it was Gibbs' behavior that shocked them.

His head snapped up as he stood up. When Leyla entered the bar he couldn't believe that she was there in front of him, safe and sound.

She looked at him incredulous, ''Gibbs?''

''Leyla, what...''

His words were cut off by a tight hug and her tears. ''I can't believe you're here. You came to save us.''

''Shhh,'' Gibbs soothed. ''Calm down. Everything is gonna be okay. Shhh.''

''Mommy?" a tiny voice caught their attention. They all turned and saw Amira on the doorway. As she saw Gibbs she ran to him with outstretched arms. ''Uncle Gibbs!"

He crouched down and took her in a tight hug. ''Amira. Sweetheart... Shhh... don't cry. Now you're safe. Uncle Gibbs is here and he'll take you home.''

''No. I want my grandpa too,'' she cried.

Gibbs stood up with her in his arms as he looked at Leyla. ''He needs you. They need your help,'' she sobbed as she caressed her daughter's curls.

''Excuse me. Are you agent Gibbs?'' the other woman asked.

''Yes. And you are?''

''Rosa.''

''You're the one who called me. Thank you,'' he gratefully smiled.

''You need to hurry, Agent Gibbs,''

''Why?'' he asked as he gave Amira to her mother.

''Ma'am, please follow me. I'll show you the bathroom and then you'll drink your orange juice,'' Gary smiled tickling Amira's tummy as they headed back down the hallway.

''Why?'' repeated Gibbs when he was finally alone with Rosa and Benito.

''Tony's seriously ill. The other man... umm... Mike told me that he thinks Tony has pneumonia and that it could be...''

''Fatal,'' sighed Gibbs.

She nodded as she continued, ''Honestly Agent Gibbs, I don't know if Tony really has pneumonia, but I'm sure that if you don't save him as soon as possible that he will die.''

Gibbs couldn't say anything. He'd lived through Desert Storm and had seen his fellows soldiers dying in his arms. He had almost died in that damn desert and he risked his life every day with NCIS, but this was different. After Shannon and Kelly's death he had shut the world out of his heart until he had met a smiling Baltimore Homicide Detective.

During their first investigation together Gibbs had found out that Tony was an intelligent and strong man, but that behind Tony's apparent self-confidence and cocky smile, there were a deep fragility and a even deeper need of love and attention. After a few days with DiNozzo, Gibbs had realized that the ice in his heart was melting and that DiNozzo was not just a colleague, Tony was a son to him and he wanted to be a father to him.

''Agent Gibbs?''

Rosa's voice brought him back to reality and he noticed that he was sitting down on a chair. _When did that happen?_

''Are you okay? You're so pale,'' she observed.

''I'm fine,'' he whispered. He cleared his throat and drank some water that Rosa was giving him. _I sound like Tony!_

''I can drive you there, but I can't stay with you,'' Suarez offered. ''It would blow up my cover. Sorry.''

''I've got my knife and my gun. I just need a rifle with silencer and I'll be fine,'' Gibbs stated as he stood up and met Benito's gaze.

''No problem,'' Benito reassured him.

''How many men are at your brother's house?'' Gibbs asked Rosa.

She checked her watch. ''At this time, they should be all gone except for four men.''

''I'll be waiting for you at my hotel in five minutes,'' Gibbs told Benito as he headed to the door.

Before going out he turned to Rosa, ''I can't find the right words to thank you.''

''So don't. Just save him. He's the best man I've ever met.'' She swallowed hard as tears filled her eyes.

''Yes, he is.'' Gibbs conceded as he lef the bar. _Hold on Tony. I'm coming son._

**xxxxxxx**

The dirt road was completely empty at that time of the day as Benito drove his pick-up to Morales' house with Gibbs in the passenger seat. The ex-Marine seemed to stare at the landscape without paying attention to anything, but the ex-policeman was sure that he was scanning for any sign of danger.

''So, what's your plan, Gibbs?'' asked the Mexican.

''Kill the bad guys and save my poeple,'' stated Gibbs without hesitation.

''Is it that simple?''

''Yes. Where are you going to leave me?'' the agent inquired, turning to look at his driver.

''About two kilometers from Morales' house. I know a small clearing that you can use to hide, but pay attention because there are some coyote dens. In the backpack at your feet there are some bottles of water, something to eat, a heavy jacket, a map and a binoculars.'' He saw Gibbs putting the backpack on his lap and opening it. ''I marked the easier route you need to take to reach the house.''

''Thank you,'' said Gibbs, checking his gear. ''Why are you doing that? Why are risking your life to help me?''

''The Rivera cartel killed one of my sons,'' Benito answered as he clenched his jaw. ''And you?''

''For my agent...''

''That is more than just a colleague,'' Benito stated.

''Yep. Tony could die and...''

''And?''

''It's all my fault,'' Gibbs whispered as he looked out the car window.

''Why?''

''Rivera's father killed my wife and my daughter so I killed him in revenge.''

A heavy silence fell on them and they didn't utter another word until Benito stopped near a small group of trees and killed the engine. ''Okay. From here on you've got to go alone. I'm sorry Gibbs.''

''I'll be fine, Suarez.'' grinned Gibbs as they got out the car.

''How are you going to manage to kill four men without any help? I mean, I know you were a Marine but...''

''Sniper. Panama and Desert Storm.'' Gibbs explained.

''Oh, I see.''

Gibbs leaned his hand and Benito shook it, ''Thanks for everything, Suarez.''

''Good luck, gunny and bring your guys home.''

**xxxxxxx**

''Tony... DiNozzo,'' Mike whispered in the darkness.

He had tried to wake Tony up for hours, but he had failed miserably. Tony didn't even flinch at the sound of the older man's voice and now Franks was start fearing that the younger man was dead.

Shifting on the dirty floor he managed to reach Tony and breathed a sigh of relief when he heard Tony's erratic and weak breath.

''Thank God. You're still alive. Just hold on, kid,'' he whispered in DiNozzo's ear. ''Hey, you with me?''

''Mmmmmm,'' Tony moaned.

''How are...''

''Shhhhhhhh. My head hu-hurts,'' whispered Tony, gasping in pain.

''Okay,'' answered Mike barely audible. ''Just hold on, guy.''

''No. Nobody'll sa-save us. I'm going to... die here. Tell them that I... lo-loved all of them and... I-I al-always will.''

In that moment Mike understood that Tony has lost all hope and he was giving up. _Maybe he's right. Nobody'll save us. _

''I'm sorry, Tony. You're dying because of me.''

**xxxxxxx**

Gibbs used all his sniper's skills to stealthily make his way to the top of a hill that was behind Morales' house and then waited until the sun went down. One of the first thing that he had been taught as sniper was patience. He still remembered the words of his instructor.

_Patience is the first virtue of a sniper. It helps you to think and concentrate and it prevents you to make mistakes that could kill you and all your friends. A sniper with no patience is a dead sniper. Be patient or I'll kill you! _

When the darkness veiled the whole valley, Gibbs took his binoculars out the backpack and inspected the surroundings.

There weren't any lights for mile and miles and the only sounds you could hear were the howling of coyotes and the chirping of crickets and cicadas.

The house's yard was illuminated so the sniper had no problems spotting the two men that came out to smoke a cigarette.

He slowly put the binoculars on the ground as liad on his stomach. He aimed his rifle and with two precise shots he killed both of them. ''Two down, two more to go.'' he whispered.

Then he waited to see if anyone had heard the shots. Nobody came out the house so, hiding behind some high bushes, Gibbs went down the hill and managed to reach a small building just a few yards far from the house. He crouched down and scanned the area as he looked for another hideout.

He knew that he needed to be really careful if he wanted to kill the all bad guys before going to look for Tony and Mike. He couldn't afford to compromise his mission giving in to fear and haste to find them.

_If Tony is as sick and weak as Rosa said, I'll need to give him all my attention in order to get him out of here and to a hospital asap. I can't waste time hiding from these bastards or fighting with them._

A door in front of him opened and a man came out. _Good_.

Once again the sniper aimed his rifle to the man's head and he was ready to shoot when he felt the familiar click of a gun's secure just behind his right ear.

''Bonsoir, agent Gibbs,'' a deep voice said.

Gibbs slowly turned to that voice just in time to see a man with an evil smile, raise his gun and hit him in the head with the butt.

The world went blank as Gibbs lost consciousness.

TBC

* * *

So Gibbs is finally arrived, but his plan failed. What will happen now?

See you in the next chapter...


	26. Chapter 26

Unfotunately I do not own anything of NCIS :(

Sorry for the delay but I've had a sort of writer's block. I hope it's over now *sigh*

Thanks for all your reviews, alerts and pm. They're so important to me :)

ncismom, I've no words to thank you!

_**'' Regrets and... ''**_

_Chapter 26._

**Washington DC**

McGee and Ziva were at their desks unable to think and uncertain what they needed to do.

Tim looked at his colleague and saw exhaustion and desperation in her eyes. He knew that Tony and Gibbs were the most important people in her and Abby's lives and even if in the past he had been a bit jealous of that deep bond, now he understood why the two women were so close to those them.

Gibbs and Tony were the heart and the soul of their team and they couldn't go on without both of them. They built up the team together, but they were also able to work alone as a two-man team. They were more than just a mentor and studentor friends; their bond was reminiscent of a father/son relationship.

Any other agent would be offended by Gibbs' head slaps, but not Tony. For him those smacks on the neck were just a sign of affection and attention as well as a reminder to stay focused.

Gibbs would have never permitted anyone else to ramble on just to deflect his anger and defuse the tension; only Tony could do that and come out safe and sound.

_I respect them more than anyone else in the world. They took me under their wings and made me grow up. I became a man under their giudance and I've never thanked them for that. I finally understand what Tony has done for me in all these years with his relentless teasing and jokes; he was teaching me what it would take to be a senior field agent, a position he gave me when I probably didn't deserve it. _

_Sh*t! Why have I been so stupid and arrogant? I should have just thanked him and followed his lead instead of giving him such a hard time! But I'll fix it... as soon as Gibbs will bring him home, I'll talk with Tony and... and we'll get back to the way thigns used to be._

''McGee! What are you doing?" Director Vance's sharp bark brought him back to reality, causing both him and Ziva to startle.

Slowly Tim turned and saw the Director on the stairs behind him. ''Excuse me, director?''

''I asked you, what are you doing just sitting around?''

''Until Gibbs calls us we can't do anything,'' he answered as he stood up and went to Ziva's desk. They were the team now and that man on the stairs was their enemy.

''Where's Gibbs?''

''Mexico.''

''What? Why?''

McGee was about to answer him, but Ziva anticipated him, ''Because he didn't want to risk our lives, so he went in Mexico alone to save Tony, Director.''

Tim could sense nothing but anger and hate in that last word. He looked at her and gave her a slight nod of approval.

''I want a report as soon as he calls!" ordered Vance as he headed to his office.

''Tim?'' Ziva whispered.

''Yeah.''

''Do you think they'll come back? I mean do... do you think that Gibbs...'' she lowered her eyes and McGee was sure that she was trying to hide tears.

Tim pulled her into a hug as he whispered, ''If there's a man in the world that can find Tony in the middle of nowhere and order him to not die, that's Gibbs. And Tony never disrespects Gibbs' orders.''

_I hope so._

**Mexico - Morales house**

When Gibbs woke up, at first he thought he was in a dark room with no windows, but just after a few seconds he realized he was wearing a blindfold. He tried to move his head but it hurt too much. _A concussion, no doubt about that!_

Slowly he became more aware of his state and surroundings. He was sitting on a chair, his arms were tied behind his back and his legs to the chair. The air was cold and he smelled dust and sand; the room was silent and no sounds came from outside.

Despite the pain in his head he tried to free his hands but was unsuccessful.

_I need to find Tony! Damn! I'm an idiot! I should have taken my agents with me; I sure could use their help right now! Tony was right, I need to stop going on this mission alone!_

Suddenly he heard the door opening and a French accent address him, ''Time to wake up, Agent Gibbs! It's morning.''

''Who are you?''

''The man who knocked you out. I thought you were smarter and tougher than taht,'' he mocked him.

Gibbs felt his anger biulding up inside him as he followed the sound of the man's voice as he walked around him. ''Let me go and you'll you find out how tough I am.''

''No, I prefer you tied up.''

''Let my agent go and take me!"

''Oh, very heroic but that is not the plan, je suis désolè.''

''What do you want?"

''We want to see you suffer. We want to hear you beg us. We want to see you crying,'' an American voice answered.

Gibbs turned to that voice. ''Who are you?''

''I'm the man that is going to make you suffer,'' he hissed in his ear, sending a shiver down Gibbs' spine.

The tough former Gunnery Sergeant that had survived Panama, Desert Storm and his family's death was scared. He wasn't worried for his life but for Tony's. He was terrified that they would use Tony to make him suffer.

_It's all my fault... and if he dies..._

Gathering all his courage he spat, ''I'm not scared! You can do whatever you want to me, but you'll never break me.''

''Oh, I'll break you. You can swear on that,'' grinned the American.

Gibbs laughed, ''You don't know me.''

''Unfortunately for you, we know your weak point,'' said the French voice.

''My weak point?'' Gibbs asked confused.

''Yes, Rivera told us everything about you.''

''What's my weak point?''

''Look!" answered the American as he removed the blindfold.

Gibbs blinked a few times to clear his vision. When his eyes finally focused on his surroundings, he realized that he was in a empty and dark room with no windows. The only light came from the opened door.

He looked up and saw a large window in front of him that bore resemblance the window in the observation room at NCIS.

On the other side of the glass there was a room very similar to the one he was in, but it was a bit more illuminated.

''Oh, God... No.'' he chocked back a sob.

Gibbs' worst nightmare materialized before his eyes. Tony was lying on the ground at the centre of the room. His torso and face were covered of bruises, cuts, scratches and blood. There was blood on the ground under him too, but what shocked Gibbs the most was Tony's back.

His SFA was on his right side so Gibbs could see part of his back. It was covered in blood and cuts as well, but in some places all the layers of skin were missing and he could see a mass of bone and shredded muscle.

_God, make that those wounds are not infected, please!_

Gibbs saw that Tony was moving his mouth but couldn't hear his voice. It was clear that despite he was unconscious, his mind was trapped in a feverish nightmare.

Tony was shivering and flinching as he gasped for air.

Gibbs remembered Rosa's words, _"You need to hurry... Tony is seriously ill... pneumonia... fatal.''_

''He's dying, Agent Gibbs. And you'll have a front seat row to watch his suffering until the bitter end,'' his tormentor whispered in his ear.

The team leader's mind barely registered those words as his thoughts were consumed by the pained expression that Tony wore.

_It's all my fault... _

TBC

* * *

It's painful but I hope you liked this chapter.

Reviews are always welcome :)


	27. Chapter 27

NB: I own nothing of NCIS.

Sorry for the delay, but this chapter has been more difficult to write than expected. I hope it's good.

- A special thanks to ncismom. Your help, corrections and suggestions help me to become a better 'writer' :)))

_**" Regrets and... "**_

_Chapter 27._

Gibbs was finally alone again. His captors had left a few minutes ago but he had barely registered their departure.

His mind and his soul were concentrating on the man on the other side of the glass. His senior field agent, his friend and above all the man that he looked upon as a son was slowly dying before his eyes and he felt absolutely helpless.

The former marine tried to shift the chair to which he was tied to closer to the mirror-window.

_I need to let Tony know that I'm here but how? Maybe if I yell he'll be able to hear me and he'll know that he's no longer alone. My screams could attract those bastards' attention but I don't care... Tony's more important than anything else._

As Gibbs approached the glass he saw a movement in one of the dark corners of the room. He squinted to see who was in the room with Tony.

Suddenly that person came into the cone of light that barely illuminated DiNozzo. _Mike! Thank God! _

Gibbs saw his former boss crouching next to Tony and whispering something in his ear as he stroked the younger man's hair. Tony flinched and shifted at the touch but Mike was able to soothe him.

''Mike! Franks! Can you hear me?" shouted Gibbs ignoring his throbbing head and his worries. ''Tell Tony I'm here! You're not alone, Tony! I'll save you!" he kept yelling but soon he realized that both of the men of the other side of the glass couldn't hear him.

Frustrated and angry, Gibbs screamed at the top of his lungs. He was surprised to see Mike turning his head towards him.

The older man stood up and slowly walked to the mirror and waited. Gibbs screamed again and saw a slight smile of relief appearing on Mike's face as he turned to Tony and said something.

_He heard me. Now they know that I'm here. Hold on, Tony! Hold on and we'll get back home together._

Mike knocked on the glass with his fingertips and soon Gibbs realized what the other was doing. _Morse Code! He's talking to me!_

Franks was ''saying'': _One yell for yes and two for no. Ok?_

Gibbs yelled once

_Gibbs? _One yell.

_Amira. Leyla. Safe? _One yell.

Mike sighed relieved and turned to Tony again as he said something.

_Captured? _One yell.

_Injured? _Two yells.

_Alone? _One yell.

Gibbs saw Mike grinning and shaking his head as he turned to Tony and likely informed him that that crazy man of his boss came to Mexico without any back up.

_He's really bad. Need out immediately. _One yell.

_Plans? _Two yells.

Mike's head leaned against the glasses as his shoulders slumped and he ''said'', _Tony dying. Need help now!. Think quickly! _

**Washington DC**

''I can't stay here and wait for something to happen!" McGee growled as he stood up.

''Where are you going?'' asked Ziva already on her feet.

''I don't know. But I can't stay here while...''

''They are in danger,'' she sighed. ''Abby?''

''What do you mean?''

''She is tracing Gibbs' sat phone.''

''You're right. Why didn't I think about that?'' Tim asked, his frustration evident in his determined steps as he headed to the elevator with Ziva following close behind him.

''Because you are too worried,'' she answered as she entered the elevator after him.

''And you're not?''

''Yes, but unfortunately Mossad taught me how to block out my fear,'' she whispered.

''Unfortunately?'' Tim asked surprised. _I'd love to be able to control my fear!_

''Yes. Sometimes I'm really tired of being the tough ninja... every once in a while, I'd like to be that scared woman who can't think because she's too worried.''

Tim smiled at her and shook his head. ''What's that look for, McGee?'' she asked a bit annoyed by his reaction.

''Tony would be proud of you.''

''Why? Because I want to be scared?"

''Nope. Because you've just used five contractions,'' he grinned as they entered Abby's lab.

''Abby, could you...'' Tim said but he immediately stopped as he saw their sweet Goth crying on Ducky's shoulder while Jimmy looked at them uncertain as to what he needed to do.

''What's going on?'' asked Ziva.

''She's lost Gibbs,'' whispered Jimmy.

''I don't understand,'' said Tim as he went to the computers and started typing. ''Why we can't trace his sat phone? Where did you lose the signal? Abby!" he called her firmly.

Slowly Abby went to the big plasma and pointed to small red spot on the Fresnillo map. ''Here,'' she answered, her voice barely audible.

The pulsing red light was about two kilometers from Morales house. ''Do you think they captured him?'' Ducky asked McGee. ''Timothy? Do you think...''

''I don't know Ducky!" he snapped. ''I don't know anything! Okay?"

''Well, you better you start knowing something because you're the highest ranking member of the team in the office and that means you're the team leader now, Special Agent McGee!" Abby almost yelled on his face.

''Abby. Calm down, my dear,'' Ducky tried to soothe her as he put his hands on her trembling shoulders.

''No, she's right Ducky. I'm the team leader and I should know what I need to do. When Tony was the team leader, he always knew what to do. What would Gibbs do?'' he asked more to himself than the others.

They heard Ziva chuckling. ''Something funny, Agent David?'' Abby asked annoyed.

''No, but Tony said the same words when that boy in Quantico held his classmates and Gibbs hostage.''

''Tony was in charge on that operation and he did a really good job,'' Tim agreed. ''What was his answer?'' he asked Ziva.

''He trusted his gut.''

In that moment the phone of Abby's lab rang. ''Lab,'' she answered as he put on the loud-speaker.

''Miss Sciuto. I'm looking for Agent McGee,'' said the switchboard operator.

''I'm here. What's up?''

''I've got a call for from Mexico. Hold on, please.''

**Mexico**

In his feverish thoughts Tony fluctuated between awareness and delirium. His body was tormented by aches and chills, and his head felt like it was trapped in a vise.

In the recesses of his mind Tony knew that Mike was with him in the room and when he had heard the older man knocking on the window, he had understood that something important was happening, but at the moment, he couldn't figured out what that would be.

A whispered plea came to his ears. ''Tony? Can you hear me, kid? Tony, please. Answer me. Are you with me?'' Tony wanted to answer but he could barely breathe so talking was not an option.

_I don't want to die here. I want to go home and I don't care if I sound like a child... I want to go to my home and die in my own bed... nobody cares about me... I'm alone and Mike can't do anything for me... mom, help me, please... I need you... wherever you are help me, please... I need to get away from this hell... don't leave me alone..._

DiNozzo had heard someone yelling from afar and Mike saying something about his crazy boss and a mission without back up, but everything was so foggy and incomprehensible that the younger man hadn't caught the real meaning of those words.

Tony only knew for certain that he didn't have much more time to live.

_I hope my death is worth something... wait! Mike said that Amira and Leyla are safe... good... my life for theirs'... this is good._

''Tony hold on, kid. Soon you'll be safe,'' Mike whispered in his ear.

_I can't hold on... no more... they're safe... now I can stop fighting... they're safe and if I give up I'll stop suffering... good... sorry, Gibbs. I wanted to make you proud of me. I wanted to complete my mission and come home safe and sound... but my father was right... I'm a just a troublemaker and wimp..._

Suddenly the door opened and someone entered. Tony cracked opened his swollen eyes and saw their two tormentors coming in. Dupont threw Mike into a corner and aimed a gun to his forehead as Portman approached him with something in his hands.

Tony tried to shift away from that monster but he couldn't move so he just turned his head to look up to the man that was standing in front of him and stared at his hands in horror.

_Oh, my God! That's a bomb!_

TBC

* * *

I know. I know. This is a bad cliffhanger... *evil grin*

If you liked this chapter, let me know what you think. Review! Thank you


	28. Chapter 28

I own nothing of NCIS :(

I'm really sorry for the delay. Please, forgive me! LOL

A special thanks to ncismom :)))

Ready? Have you a handkerchief? Good...

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 28._

**Mexico**

"What the hell are you doing?" Mike shouted as Dupont threw him on the ground, kicking him in the stomach.

''Shut up!" barked the man as he pointed a gun at his forehead.

Tony was lying on the floor and staring in horror at the bomb in Portman's hands.

_It can't be happening... I know that I'm dying but Mike is still alive and he needs to go back to his family... he needs to take care of Amira and Leyla... I've got to do something... but what? I can barely breathe and turn my head... if Gibbs were here, he'd know what to do... what Gibbs would do?... Trust your gut, Tony... likely this is going to be the last thing I do on earth and I've nothing to lose so..._

''Sir, let him go and keep me, please,'' Tony whispered as he started coughing.

''Oh, we've got a hero here!'' Portman laughed maliciously. ''Sorry, but you're all going to die,'' he crouched down and hissed in Tony's ear, ''Even your boss in the other room.''

''NO! NO! Kill me but let him live!" shouted Tony as he tried to stand up; a punch to his face knocked him back on the ground.

As soon as Tony's hit the floor, his body was hit by a wave of unbearable pain and the little oxygen in his lungs came out in a pain filled moan as he lost consciousness_. _

_Gibbs came to save me and now he'll die with me... sorry, boss._

"Tony! Tony! Answer me, kid!" Mike shouted, but nobody answered him.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

On the other side of the glass, Gibbs watched helplessly at the scene in front of his eyes and when he saw Tony being beaten and losing consciousness, he started calling to 'his son' even though he knew that DiNozzo couldn't hear him.

_I need to do something. I came here to save him and I just ended up being captured... a**hole_! He look for the rise and fall of Tony's chest_. Oh, my God! It's not moving! Tony's not breathing! Oh, God help him, please!_

In a fit of rage and driven by pure desperation Gibbs stood up and hopped over the wall so that he could break the chair against it. The old seat shattered and the agent was finally free.

He threw the ropes to the side and went to the door. Unfortunately, it was a very resistant oak door and its hinges and the lock were brand new. There was no way to exit.

''Open this door, you bastards! I was the one who killed Rivera's father not him! Tony's innocent! He was here just to help a mother and her little girl!" Gibbs cried as he kept pounding the door.

Then he turned and started yelling and punching the glass.

Gibbs has never been so desperate, not even when Kate had died on that damn roof. Only one other time he had felt so useless and helpless and that was when he had seen Shannon and Kelly's graves.

It felt like someone was tearing his heart and his soul from his chest. Tears filled his eyes and Gibbs cried for the first time since his family's death. Tony was his family, his son and his friend.

Gibbs' world was falling apart before his eyes and he couldn't do anything to prevent it.

_I'm sorry, Tony... I'm sorry, son._

**Washington DC**

''I'm Agent McGee, who's this?'' Tim asked.

''I'm Leyla,'' a weak voice answered.

Tim looked at all the people around him, his expression one of shock and disbelief_. Is she safe? If she's safe, Tony and..._

''Are you safe?" Ziva inquired, anticipating his question.

''Where are Tony and Gibbs?" Abby asked.

''Are they safe?" Ducky demanded to know.

''How is your daughter?'' Jimmy added.

All their questions were met with silence so Tim calmly said, ''Leyla, what happened? Do you need help? We need to know everything.''

''They captured Mike and Tony and... they tortured him,''

''We know that. How did you escape?'' asked Tim.

''Tony convinced Morales' sister to save Amira and me,'' Leyla sadly informed them. ''He saved us and now...''

''Now, what?" Ziva asked loudly, startling all her friends.

''Leyla! Now, what?'' repeated Abby.

They heard some confused voices and another woman saying, ''Give me the phone... Hello? I'm Rosa Morales.''

''Did you save them?" asked McGee.

''Yes and...''

''Why didn't you save Tony too?" Ziva angrily asked.

''I couldn't. He begged me to save Leyla and Amira... he sacrificed himself for them,'' she sniffled.

''Typical,'' Ducky whispered as he took off his glasses and rubbed his tired eyes.

''He needs help soon.''

''Where's Gibbs?'' Tim asked as his gaze met Jimmy's concerned orbs.

''Yesterday he went to save him and the other man, but we heard anything since then.''

''Are you safe?''

''Yes, but we need to get away as soon as possible. Alejandro and my brother will find out that I didn't do what they ordered me and...''

''Okay. Stay hidden. I'll call you back,'' Tim said before hanging up.

McGee turned to 'his' team. ''Ziva, go to Vance and tell him everything,'' she tried to say something but he silenced her. ''Go now and... do not kill him.''

As Ziva headed to the elevator, the former Probie asked, ''Abs, which is the closest airport to Fresnillo?"

''I'll check on it,'' she answered as she started typing on her pc.

''I need to find a safe place for two women and a child not far from DC,'' McGee muttered to himself.

''My house would be perfect, Timothy,'' intervened Ducky. ''After my mother's departure I'm alone in that big house and I would really appreciate some company.''

''Perfect. You and Jimmy prepare everything for their arrival and I'll send you some agents for protection.''

''Mr. Palmer, we need to do some grocery shopping,'' the ME said as he headed out of the lab with his assistant.

''Ducky?'' Tim called to him. The older man turned and he said, ''Thank you.''

''My pleasure,'' he smiled as he headed out of the lab.

''McGee, the closest airport is in Zacatecas. Less than a forty minutes drive from Fresnillo,'' Abby informed him.

''Good. Call Rosa and tell her to go there with Amira and Leyla,'' Tim ordered as he headed to the elevator.

''Do you want me to reserve three seats on the first flight to US?''

''Nope,'' Tim answered as he turned to her. ''I really doubt they've got a passport, Abby.''

''So?''

''So Vance needs to pull some strings among his friends.''

''How do you plan to force him...''

''I don't think SecNav knows about this unauthorized mission on foreign soil,'' Tim grinned.

''Sneaky.''

''I learned from the best! I just hope I'll be able to thank both of them,'' he added as he entered the lift.

Alone in her lab Abby whispered, ''Me too, Tim... me too.''

**Mexico**

''Why did you beat him? Help him! He's not breathing!'' Mike barked as he saw Portman crouching down next to Tony's limp body.

''Don't worry, he's breathing... a little,'' added the mercenary. ''But it doesn't matter. He'll be dead in a few minutes anyway.''

''What do you mean?''

''It means that a friend in Fresnillo's Police Department called and said that they know about your presence in town and that honest bastard that's their capitain received an anonymous call that said where you are, so he ordered all his men to come here,'' Portman explained, disgust and frustration eveident in his voice ''They should arrive in less than twenty minutes.''

''We'd like to enjoy your company a little longer, but we've got to change our plans,'' Dupont smirked.

Mike stared at them uncertain if he should be happy about the police's arrival or scared by their new plans. He saw Portman standing up as he said, ''Done! Let's go, Dupont. We need to get out of here pretty soon. Captain Suarez's coming.''

The mercenaries went to the door and just before going out Portman turned to Mike and said, ''If I were you I wouldn't touch your friend.''

''Why?''

''He has a bomb tied to his wrist and it's very sensitive. Try to move him, or untie it or defuse it and it'll blow up. If you don't... well, at least you'll have a few more minutes to live.''

''Why DiNozzo?''

''Because he really pissed me off.''

And with those words he left the room and the house with his accomplice.

Mike immediately crawled to Tony and he was relieved to find out that Portman hadn't lie. Tony was breathing. ''Hey, kid. Hold on. Gibbs is in the other room and he can defuse the bomb and then we'll get home all together and...'' he swallowed hard, ''You could rest and heal in a comfortable bed.''

Tony moaned as he whispered without opening his eyes, ''No... h-he's right... you can't save me.''

''Tony.''

''I heard everything... you can't save me, but...'' he opened his eyes and Mike was shocked by the peace that he saw in those green orbs. _He's stopped fighting. Tony's ready to die._

''But you can save yourself and...''

''No! You're coming home with me.''

Tony slowly shook his head. ''No... your family needs you... go back to them and... save Gibbs and take care of him. Abby, Tim, Ziva...'' A painful cough racked his body. ''Ducky and Palmer need him...''

''They need you too, Tony.''

''No... they don't... Gibbs is more important and I'm... I'm... ex-expendable... save him, please,'' he pleaded as tears began to roll down his cheeks. ''Do it for me, Mike. Please.''

''Tony, I can't leave you here and most importantly, Gibbs will never leave you.''

''Knock him out and go... you're running out of time... go, please.''

''Tony, you saved my family and I...''

''Do... do you want to... to thank me f-for that?''

Mike merely nodded.

''Save Gibbs... that's all I ask.''

''You're the bravest man I've ever met DiNozzo and I'm sorry for all that happened... it's all my fault,'' Mike whispered as he stroked Tony's sweat soaked hair. ''I'll never forget you, kid,'' he vowed as he kissed his forehead. ''I'll save Gibbs and I'll take care of him, but y... you... take care of all of us from...''

''Hell,'' Tony slightly smiled.

''Heaven... you deserve the best place in the Heaven.''

''Go, Mike. The times running out.''

The older man stood up, suddenly feeling older than his years as he stumbled to the door.

''Mike?''

''Yes?'' he turned to look at Tony.

''Tell... tell Gibbs not to feel guilty because he didn't save me... tell him I'm sorry I didn't come home safe and... sound and for all the ti-times I...I disappointed or an-annoyed him...'' he swallowed hard. ''Tell him... I love him and that working with him has.. has been the best thing... in my life... tell him that he... h-he taught me how to be the man I've always wanted to be and the meaning of love, respect, friendship and... family.'' Tony's voice little more than a whisper.

''Okay.''

''Goodbye, Franks.''

''Goodbye, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. It was an honor to know you.''

**Washington DC**

McGee was right. The SecNav didn't know anything about Tony's mission and as soon as he had quoted his name in his director's office, Vance had become very collaborative and with just one call he had been able to find a secret air lift for Amira, Leyla and Rosa.

Tim had called Rosa at the cell number she had given Abby and he had told her everything about their upcoming trip to USA.

_Now I just need to find Tony and Gibbs... yes, but how? Even if I went to Mexico I wouldn't know where to look for them. I need to take care of our team and Gibbs will take care of himself and Tony in Mexico... as Tony says; he's Gibbs, so he knows everything and he can't do anything... I hope you're right, DiNozzo!_

''McGee! Hey!'' He heard Ziva calling to him as she touched his arm bringing him out of his private musings. ''What are you thinking about?''

''Nothing. Is everything ready?''

''Yes and I'm going to Mexico too.''

''No way!''

''Why not?" she frowned.

"Because I know you. You'd go there with the excuse to reassure Amira, Leyla and Rosa, but as soon as the plane landed, you'd disappear and you'd go looking for Tony and Gibbs alone.''

''I would not,'' she said innocently.

''Yes, you will,'' he resolutely stared at her.

''I...''

''I've had enough of solo missions! Look what Gibbs' last mission did for Tony, not to mention us! I'm your superior in this moment and I say that you're not going!'' The unusual loudness of McGee's voice startled the ex Mossad assassin and all the other people in bullpen.

''Go to Abby and help her look for Gibbs. Maybe we'll be able to locate him,'' he ordered as he went to his desk to find some agents to send to Ducky's house.

**Mexico**

_I can't believe I'm leaving Tony there alone. I should be tied up to that damn bomb and not him... but I need to do what he asked me... I need to save Gibbs._

Mike was in front of the door of Gibbs' room and with a piece of iron that he had found on the floor in his hands. With a few strokes he broke the lock and opened the door. What he saw before his eyes stopped his heart.

Gibbs was on his knees with his head in his hands and he was crying like a desperate child. The younger man hadn't even turned around when the door had opened or when Mike called his name.

''Jethro,'' he whispered as he crouched down and firmly shook Gibbs' shoulder. ''Probie, it's Mike. We need to get out of here now.''

Slowly he saw Gibbs turning his head and looking at him as if he had called his name for the first time. ''Mike? What?''

''We need to go. Come on, Gunny. Stand up and follow me,'' Franks said as he stood up and dragged Gibbs with him, steadying the younger man as he swayed.

''Tony? Where is Tony?'' Gibbs asked as he turned to the glass. ''Why didn't you take him with you?'' he angrily asked as he headed to the door.

Mike took him by his shoulders and stopped him. ''We can't save him.''

''What? He saved your family and you want to abandon him?" Gibbs roared as he tried to pulled free of Franks' grip.

''He's too badly wounded and he's tied up to a bomb that we can't defuse in a few minutes...''

''Let me go!"

''Jethro. Jethro! He knows... he knows that he's dying and that we can't save him. He asked me to save you...''

''No! I won't abandon him!" Gibbs fought Mike with all his strength.

''...and that's what I'm going to do.'' Franks concluded as he hit him on his jaw sending Gibbs spiraling into unconsciousness. ''Sorry, probie, but I promised Tony to save you.''

Mike dragged Gibbs' body out the house and in the yard as quickly as he could. He needed to hurry and find a safe place for him and Gibbs where they could be protected by the explosion.

He looked around and finally spotted a short wall a few feet away from them.

''That should work,'' he panted as he pulled Gibbs body behind the wall and crounched down next to him just in time to hear the explosion.

_Goodbye Tony._

TBC

* * *

And now?

One more chapter and then we'll get back to present. Promise.

I know that probably in this moment you 'hate' me , but please keep reviewing and telling me what you think :)))


	29. Chapter 29

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

I think you'll stop hating me *winking*

The usual and deserved 'Thank You!' to ncismom!

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_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 29._

Tony heard the altercation between Mike and Gibbs. As he had expected, his boss had fought with all his strength to save him, but luckily, Franks had followed his advice and had knocked out Gibbs, draggimng him out of the building before it was too late.

He sighed in relief as he heard a door opening and he saw the dimly lit corridor. _Good... luckily, the exit was close or Mike wouldn't be able to get Gibbs out._

Tony tried to sit up a bit, mindful of the bomb tied to his wrist. _When we were on the Chimera I told Gibbs that I always pictured my death to be like Newman and Redford in ''Butch Cassidy'' with a hall of bullets... or like Cagney in ''White Heat" with a fiery explosion... well, I guess someone up there took me literally __and decided to satisfy my desires... Someone has a weird sense of humor!_

He was finally able to sit up allowing himself to lean against a big wooden box behind him. ''So I'm dying," he whispered as he doubled over from a fit of coughing.

Tony coughed and spat mucus for what it seemed the thousandth time and, when it finally subsided, he was so exhausted that he collapsed against the box. ''I... I ha-hate this.''

_I survived the plague, a dive into dirty and cold water and a long list of injuries... and now I'm dying die 'cause of pneumonia or a bomb... a bomb assembled by a pair of crazy mercenaries who are being payed by an angry, crazy son... but... it doesn't matter how I'm going... within a few minutes, and I won't be here anymore... weird! I'm not scared... maybe I've got a clear conscience or... Nah! I'm just completely dumb... or crazy_

He turned to take a look at the bomb and he immediately started to examine the device. Tony instinctively tried to see if he could disarm it or if the mercenary had told the truth.

_Yeah, DiNozzo! Even if you could stop the count down, what would you do next? Run away? Huh! I can barely sit up!... It doesn't seem a complicated bomb... more than likely, they didn't have a lot of time to build it up... I'm wondering who called the police... an anonymous tip... maybe a Gibbs' contact?_

Tony leaned again against the box as he tried to catch his breath and closed his eyes. The fever was making his sight blurry and the sweat on all his wounds hurt like acid on a cut.

Images of all his friends danced in his mind and despite his attempts, some tears escaped from his eyes.

_I'll miss all of you guys... even Ziva and Tim... even though you've been unbearable, I still love you and... and if I had come home I'm sure we'd have fixed everything... _

_Jimmy... oh, my God! You've been a great friend... I'd never thought that we could have had something in common, but then... you were there when I needed someone to talk with... and nobody thought that I missed Gibbs when he quit... _

_Gibbs... my boss and mentor, but... my friend and dad too... when you left I was so angry with you and disappointed that I didn't want you to come back, but... with each passing day I... I missed you more and more... then you came back and I was happy, but... no! I wasn't happy! I was angry and I wanted to wipe out all your confidence and arrogance! How dare you? I did a damn good job as team leader and in keeping the team together and you threw me back in my position without a mere thank you or any explanation... you should have asked me if you could come back... That was my team!_

Another coughing fit interrupted Tony's thoughts. ''Oh... my... God! I... I c-can't breathe!". He finally spat some more of the phlegm that affected his lungs and he welcomed some air in them_. _

_You should have talked to me, Boss... but why can't I hate you, Gibbs? Why do I understand your need to come back?... Why?... Because we're similar... as Abby says we're a lot alike... _

_Abs... oh, no... my little sweet goth... she'll be devestated... it took us a bit to get along... _He chuckled remembering Abby's words_, ''You're like a piercing, Tony. It takes a while for the throbbing to stop and the skin to grow back.'' _

Tony opened his eyes and fixed them on the ceiling. ''Oh, Abby. I'll miss... y-you so much... and I'm re-really... sorry._'' _

_Now I'd really like one of your super tight hugs, my little sister_. Tears were freely flowing down his cheeks _. If I die, Abby and Gibbs would feel guilty because they didn't save me... even though it's clear that they couldn't do anything... I don't want to leave them... I can't... I need to go back to them... I want to keep living... _

_You're not a quitter, DiNozzo_! He scolded himself.

The image of Abby crying in Gibbs' arms allowed him to summon strength from deep within his inner reserves. Tony didn't know how, but he managed to sit up a bit more as he tried to breathe as well as his air starved lungs allowed. ''Okay, Tony,'' he sighed. ''This is the... the har-hardest assignment... you've e-ever had." He coughed. _Okay, first thing first, stop talking and save your breathe, idiot!_

The efforts to stay sitting up so he could examine the bomb for some minutes, made Tony sweat profusely as his sight continued to worsen. _I can't see clearly. _He thought as he dried his forehead with his sleeve and hit his broken nose. "Sh*t! My nose!"

_I need to open the bomb to try and disarm it... but I've got nothing... not even my knife._

Tony's time was running out and he felt really exhausted.

_I can't disarm it! But I won't stay here waiting... oh, my God! What am I going to do? Is this how I really want to end my life? Waiting to die? No Way!... Sorry, Abby... Sorry, Gibbs..._

He jerked on the rope that tied his wrist to the bomb and he was surprised when the rope came off from the bomb and the countdown stopped. ''What the hell!"

Tony starred at the bomb in disbelief. He couldn't believe what was happening. _I'm safe! _

Suddenly the countdown started again. _Oh, cr*p! I'm not safe at all... but I can save myself... I've got a chance now!_

Happiness, hope and adrenaline are three powerful allies for a desperate man and an exhausted body. Tony rolled on his stomach and, ignoring the pain and of all his wounds, he crawled out of the room. He checked the corridor and he saw an open door not far from his left_. It must be the exit that Mike used... I can do this... I've got to get out of here... you can do this, Tony!_

Tony crawled to the door because walking was not an option and it took him a few minutes but he finally reached it. The light that came from the backyard hurt his eyes and he blinked several times before being able to see what was in front of him_. I just need to get out and hide behind that small wall and I'll be safe... easier said than done, DiNozzo!_

Two images appeared in his mind.

An excited Abby running to him, arms in the air, shouting ''Tony! You're home!" and then throwing her arms around her big brother, drawing him into one of her best hugs he had evr gotten; that had just happened after he had returned from his assignment as agent afloat.

Gibbs patting his dirty face as he smirked and said ''Tony, as far as I'm concerned, you're irreplaceable.''

_I've got to do that for them... and for me!_

Tony heard a long and sinister beep. ''Oh, my God!" he said as he covered his head.

BOOM!

Before unconsciousness claimed him, Tony heard Gibbs saying, ''You will not die.'' Then everytihing went black and silent.

**xxxxxxx**

Benito Suarez's home was on a hill about eight miles from Morales' house and near Cascadas Los Escalones, from which he drew the water.

The former policeman was in the yard in front of his house talking on the cell with his son, Captain Omar Suarez, as he observed Morales' house througgh a pair of binoculars.

This was their second phone call, because as soon as Benito had arrived home, he had called his son to tell him everything that crazy American Gunnery Sergeant had planned. He was worried and he was sure that Gibbs would have needed help to save a very ill man.

''Omar, I just saw two men coming out the house.''

''Do you recognize them?" asked his son, who was driving to Tony's prison with some of his best and most trusted colleagues.

''I see just two gray-haired men so I guess the younger one is still inside.''

''Dead?"

''I don't know. Morales' sister said he was in a really bad shape so maybe they left him behind because he was already dead... even though...''

''What?''

''The guy that I drove there is a Marine and they don't leave their people behind, not even if they're dead.''

''Maybe he had no choice.''

''Or the other prisoner made the decision for him. From what I can see one of the men must be injured because the other one is dragging him.''

''We should be there in a few minutes,'' his son informed him.

''Where are you?''

''I can see Morales' house.''

''Yes, now I can see your cars too,'' Benito said as he spotted the police's SUV in a cloud of dust approaching Morales' house.

''Less than two miles more and we'll be there. I've already requested an ambulance, but it was out for an emergency. They'll send it to us asap... Oh, sh*t!"

''_Diòs mio_! Did you see the explosion?''

''Yes,'' Omar sighed. ''The house is a pile of rubble. The man inside must be dead.''

''Poor, guy.''

**xxxxxxx**

First it was only silence, darkness and the smell of dust and burned wood. Then came the cough and the thirst as Gibbs' words kept echoing in his mind, ''You will not die_._"

_I'm dead, boss... the bomb went off and I died_..._ I'm sorry, boss._

''Tony, listen to me... you will not die.''

_Yes, I am and I won't come back... _Tony coughed hard and an overwhelming wave of pain shot through his body. _It hurts... damn, it's hurt... death should be peaceful and without pain..._

''You will not die.''

_Yes! I'm de... Wait! I shouldn't feel pain... okay, stay calm and think, DiNozzo... the bomb exploded and you were... I was... Where was I?... Where?... Door! On the door!... What did they say at FLETC?... One of the most durable parts of the house is the door... maybe I didn't die..._

Tony slowly opened his swollen eyes and looked around to discover that he was laying on the ground.

He looked up and in the dim-light that came from a small opening, he saw that two pieces of the door's mantel now formed a sort of cavity. _It seems an Indians' tent. _

Something heavy was pinning his legs_. Let's see if they work_. DiNozzo slightly moved his feet and even though it was really painful, they worked. _Good, I'm not paralyzed... now my arms._

"Aaaaah!" he cried as a sharp pain stabbed his left shoulder and spread down his arm. _Do not move my left arm again. Noted._

Tony was dizzy, his breathing was labored and his head was throbbing. _A severe concussion. Definitely._

Tony could feel blood on his face and on the back of his head. He touched his stomach and felt something sticky on his fingers_. Oh, cr*p! Blood! This is not good... I need to get out of here asap or I'll bleed to death!_

Very slowly Tony moved his legs and with lots of effort, he was able to free both of them, but when he tried to plant his feet on the ground he felt another sharp pain in his right ankle_. Sprained! I don't care! I'm alive and I want to get out of here, even if it were the last thing I do... I won't die like a mouse in a trap!_

He slowly curled up on his right side but this time the wave of pain was unbearable and he passed out.

**xxxxxxx**

As soon as Captain Omar Suarez arrived at what remained of Morales's house, he went to the backyard and found Mike and an unconscious Gibbs.

''Who are you?" the older man asked rudely.

''A friend,'' answered the policeman. ''You need to get out of here immediately. I won't be able to stop Rivera for a long time before he arrives and takes the investigation over.'' He turned and called one of the other policemen, named Gonzales, and ordered him to take the Americans immediately to Fresnillo and hide them in a safe place until they could find a safe way to get them out of Mexico.

The young policeman knew that the two prisoners were still in danger and Rivera would do anything to kill them. The Federales were really powerful, full of resources and had connections that could hide all his crimes and provide him all sorts of alibis and weapons.

''He needs a doctor,'' said Mike as Gonzales laid Gibbs in the backseat of one of their SUV's.

''Sure. You'll find everything you need at the safe place. Now go!"

''And DiNozzo?'' asked Mike with a really upset look.

''He's gone. We can't do anything for him anymore. I'm sorry,'' Omar sadly smiled as he patted Mike's shoulder and helped him into the car. ''I'll take care of him. Don't worry,'' he whispered as he closed the door and watched the car going away in a cloud of dust

_We won't find anything... poor gringo! My father told me you were a good man and you died saving a woman and her daughter_.

Omar Suarez looked up at the sky_. Rest in peace, hero._

TBC

* * *

I told you to trust me! Tony's still alive! I couldn't kill him!

What now?

Let me know what you think, but please be nice with me. Thank you :)))

* * *

The first (small) part of Ch.30 will be about the past, but then we'll skip to the present!


	30. Chapter 30

NB: I don't own anything of NCIS :(

_Finally we know the events that preceded Tony's ''death''. Now we just need to know what happened after the explosion and how, when and most important *IF* Tony'll be saved or not..._

Thank you, ncismom, for your precious help :)

Thank you, to all of you for all the reviews, alerts and pm. You made me really happy!

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 30._

**Stillwater PA**

"So that's what happened before I woke up in Mike and Tony's room in Fresnillo,'' sighed Gibbs as he leaned against the back of his chair and looked up at the starry sky.

''And then?'' whispered Jack.

''Mike told me about the explosion and Tony's... To-Tony's...'' a lump closed his throat as he felt his father's hand squeezing his shoulder.

''You don't need to say anything. You'll need time to be able to say that word.''

Gibbs nodded. ''He told me what Tony asked him to tell me and...''

''What?''

''Tony said that working with me had been the best thing that had ever happenedto him in his life...'' Gibbs swallowed hard. ''And that I taught him the meaning of friendship, respect, love... and family,'' he turned to look at his dad, his eyes filled with tears.

''You were like a father to him and he was a son to you.''

''Tony said that I thaught him how to be the man that he'd always wanted to be and...'' he slightly smiled, ''He apologized for annoying and... disappointing me.''

''Did he ever disappoint you?'' asked Jack.

''Tony? No, never! He's never disappionted me and... I'll never be able to tell him it.'' Frustrated, Gibbs stood to his feet.

He took two steps and then he turned to his father. ''I told Mike that I didn't want to see him again. I vented all my anger and pain on him and... he accepted all the blame.''

''Well, he had no choice, I guess. It's his and your boss's fault if our boy is no longer with us,'' Jack angerily retorted.

''Yep.''

''What happened next?''

''I had left Amira, Leyla and Rosa at the bar with Suarez's friend, so Mike went to them and took all of them to our room. They told us that McGee had found a secret air lift and a safe house for all of us.''

''A safe house? Why?"

''We had got to wait until the next night to leave Mexico and we couldn't stay at the hotel because Rivera and his accomplices could have easily found us.''

''So you left the hotel?''

''Yes. Late at night we went to Zacates. We stayed in a house not far from the airport until we left to come home,'' Gibbs explained as he tiredly rubbed his face.

He could still feel the devastating pain he had felt when he had left Fresnillo. Leaving that small town had meant leaving Tony forever. _I left my son alone just like I did with Kelly. She was alone when she died. Her daddy wasn't there with her... protecting her..._

''Leroy?'' His father's voice took him back to reality. ''And his body?''

''Just before we left Suarez's son, who is a policeman, came to our room and said that he and his men had researched the area before some Federales loyal to Rivera took over the investigation. He said that they hadn't found anything and judging from what Mike told us about the bomb, I don't think that they could found anything not even after a week of searching.'' Gibbs swallowed hard. ''They found some pieces of a bloody shirt that Mike said was Tony's and... and this.'' He took a pendant out from his pocket.

''What's that?''

''It's a small pendant for a necklace. It's a platinum 'A' with a small diamond,'' Gibbs sighed as he passed the small jewel to his father.

''Is it Tony's? It doesn't look like something Tony would wear,'' Jack said as he examined the pendant.

''They did the DNA test and the blood on the pendant matched the blood on the shirt. I've never seen that jewel before but it doesn't mean it's not Tony's.''

''Yes,'' agreed the older man who was unable to take his eyes off from the pendant.

''It's all I have left of him,'' Gibbs sadly stated as he took the small 'A' from his father's hands. He turned and walked towards a big oak tree not far from the cabin.

When he reached the tree, Gibbs sat down under its long branches and leaned his back against its strong truck.

When Gibbs was a child, he and his parents used to spend a few weeks at his Uncle's cabin and he had always felt safe under that huge and ancient tree.

Little Jethro used to climb the oak all the way to the top just to watch the view. _When you were a child you used to do the same thing on the big pine in your backyard, Tony. I remember when you told me about that... that's been the first... and only time that I've seen you really smile when you talked about your childhood... How is it possible that your father didn't understand how amazing and special you were?_

The oak has been Gibbs' refuge after Kelly and Shannon's death. He had sat under that big tree trying to find a reason to keep living after his family's murder. He had tried to draw the strength and courage to overcome his pain from that strong tree.

Gibbs looked up. _Please, help me... give me the strength to keep living once again... Tony was my family, just like my father... but one day, my dad will die and I'll be alone again... Tony was my future... he was my present and future... I couldn't have loved him any more if he was my real son._

For the first time since his family's death, Gibbs cried. _I'm so sorry, Anthony._

Unfortunately, Gibbs didn't know what had happened in Mexico after their departure and above all he didn't know what was happening in that moment...

**Mexico - the night after the explosion.**

Tony regained consciousness after the sun had already gone down. He opened his eyes and saw that the light that came from a hole among the debris was no longer there.

The air was cold and dusty. _I'm still alive... I need to get out of here... how? I don't know how, but I'm getting out of here._

DiNozzo turned on right his side and despite the unbearable pain in his ribs, he was able to sit up_. _''Definitely better!" he whispered even though he felt dizzy and sick_. _

_Do not throw up, Tony, or your ribs will kill you_! He warned himself but with little success.

As soon as he moved a bit more, the nausea overwhelmed him and he threw up the meager contents of his stomach.

**xxxxxxx**

''So he was dead?'' Benito asked his son Omar as the younger man sitting down at the kitchen table of his father's house.

''I think so.''

''What do you mean?'' he enquired, pouring some coffee in two mugs and sat down on the other side of the table.

''We were searching the scene when some Federales arrived and took the investigation away from us,'' Omar answered angrily.

''Rivera?''

''Sure. Who else? I recognized one of his best friends.''

''So you didn't find the body?''

Omar shook his head as he answered, ''I don't think that there was anything to be found.''

''Yep. It was a really bad explosion,'' muttered Benito as he drank some coffee. ''I really doubt they'll keep investigating.''

''Investigate? Huh!" snapped his son as he turned and took a file out from his backpack and threw it on the table. ''They've already closed the case.''

''Are you kidding?'' Benito said as he opened the file, shock evident in his voice and on his face. ''Gas leak,'' he read as he looked at his son.

''Exactly. Morales' house exploded beacuse of a gas leak,'' Omar shook his head. ''They just left out an important detail.''

''Such as?''

''There was no gas in Morales's house. They used only wood-fire stoves and fireplaces,'' he grinned.

Benito shook his head in disbelief. He knew that a part of the Mexican LEO's were corrupt, but he couldn't believe that they were so powerful to be able to cover up the death of an American Federal Agent.

''Are all the others safe?''

''Yes. They're in a safe house in Zacatecas and tomorrow night they'll leave to go to America.''

xxxxxxx

''Disgusting!" spat Tony as he stopped puking. He leaned back against a piece of wall that was still standing and tried to regain his breath. _Puking with broken ribs is horrible... not... not to me-mention... cou-coughing!_

A bad fit of coughing almost resulted in chocking him and only when Tony was able to spit a bit of the mucus that blocked his lungs, he could breathe a bit better. _I've got to get out of this stifling trap!_

With the little strength that he still had, Tony move towards the small hole that he remembered was in front of him. He slowly extended his right arm forward, mindful of all unsafe debris that surrounded him.

_The air is colder here... I can feel a slight gust of wind on my fingers... the hole has got to be really near... wait! _

Tony grabbed a piece of concrete and moved his fingers on it until he finally found the small hole that he had seen the first time he had awakened. _Great! Now I just need to make it big enough soI can pass throught it... let's just hope that everything will not fall down on my head._

Cradling his injured arm against his chest and trying to ignore all of his other injures and wounds, Tony started pushing small pieces of concrete away.

**xxxxxxx**

Omar had gone home an hour ago and now Benito was sitting in his yard enjoying the crisp night air and thinking about the last few hours.

_Yesterday when I woke up, I would have never thought that I'd have lived such an adventure... a really bad adventure indeed... I've never met that young agent, but judging from his boss's behavior, he was a great man... he sacrificed his life to save a woman and her daughter... poor guy! I hope that you'll finally find a bit of peace._

_Rivera! Shity bastard! Your family killed my son and now you killed another innocent man that was just trying to do the right thing! One day I'll find you and I'll kill, but before I do... I'll make you pay for all your sins!_

Benito stood up and paced his yard trying to defuse his anger, but his fury was too rampant to calm down with just a walk.

_I need Tornado! _He thought as he headed to the backyard. Benito entered the small stable and saw one of his best and faithful friends: his horse.

After saddling Tornado, Benito took his rifle and a torch and went on a ride.

''Let's see if we can find something to stop Rivera!" he whispered as he patted his horse's neck.

**xxxxxxx**

Tony had no idea how long he had been digging for his freedom; all he knew it was that the fingers of his right hand were bleeding and hurting.

He was exhausted and he could barely breathe. His body was trapped in an unbearable grip of pain. His head throbbed and his heart pounded in his chest.

_I can't do this anymore! _

When he was about to give up the wall in front of him crumbled down and a wave of cold and clear air invaded his lungs, refreshing his feverish body.

_Thank God! I'm free! _Tony thought as he looked out of the big hole into a desolate and arid yard, shimmering in the moonlight.

Slowly he crawled out of his prison of debris and landed on the ground with a sign of relief. _Now I need to rest... I'll take a small nap and then I'll try to figure out how to find help and go home._

Before surrendering to the fatigue and pain and losing consciousness again, Tony heard the sound of a horse's hooves.

_Maybe I don't need to do anything... sounds like the Calvary's here!_

TBC

* * *

You may think that Gibbs gave up too easily and he would have been more determinated to find out if Tony was really dead, but after all that happened in his past, Tony's death was the final blow to me. In this moment Gibbs is a defeated man that hasn't the strength to keep fighting anymore.

Please, review! Thank you :)


	31. Chapter 31

NB: I don't owe anything of NCIS :(

- Thanks for all reviews, alerts and pm. They're really important to me.

- Are you ready to know what happened to Tony after he saved himself?

- I want to thank ncismom for her help. She tought me how to be a better writer.

*Thank you Headbanger Rockstar for your support and help*

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 31_

**Mexico**

''Oh, Dios mìo! What a mess,'' Benito whispered as he arrived at what remained of Morales' house. ''Now I understand why Omar didn't find anything,'' he said as he looked around.

Riding his trusty horse, Benito arrived in the backyard and finally had a full view of the house. Only the room farthest away from the explosion was still standing while the rest of the house was destroyed.

Suddenly Tornado whinnied and pricked his ears. ''Hey. What's going on, my friend?'' the man asked softly as he patted the horse's neck.

The horse neighed again as he became agitated. ''Calm down, Tornado. Did you hear something? A coyote or a snake?''

A soft moan made Benito turn to the house_. This is not a coyote!_

He dismounted and took his rifle, then he slowly headed towards the moan_. What could be?... I can't hear it anymore... Wait_! Benito stopped and listened to the night's noise.

He could hear the rumbling of the waterfalls in the distance and the chirping of the crickets in the bushes, but nothing else_. Maybe I just imagined it... no!_

He heard that moan again. It came from his left.

Benito turned to look at his horse and saw Tornado walking towards what seems a big pile of rags_. What on earth_... The pile of rags moved and another moan was heard.

_Madre de Dios! It's moving... what could be_? _An animal?_ The Mexican thought as he reached the pile and kneeled next to it.

Tornado was flicking the pile with his nose as Benito touched it_. Oh, my God! It's a man!_

Slowly he turned the moaning man over and was shocked by the amount of cuts and bruises on the man's body. Benito gently touched the man's forehead and the stranger flinched_. He's burning up, but his sweat is cold. He's in shock and has a bad fever._

''Hey, amigo. Don't be afraid. I don't want to hurt you. Can you hear me?''

The man was mumbling something unintelligible so Benito leaned closer to his mouth and he finally understood what the man was saying. ''Gi... Gib-bs... he-help... do-don't di... di-die... Gib-bs...''

_This is Gibbs' friend! He's alive and... they think he's dead! I've got to help him and call them! _

Benito tried to stand up, but the man was clutching to his jacket. ''Hey, let me go,'' he softly said. _What's his name? Damn! What had Gibbs called him?... Ted? No!... Tony! Yes! Tony!_

''Tony, listen... can you hear me?''

''Gibbs?'' the younger man asked without opening his swollen eyes, hope clear in his voice.

''No, I'm Gibbs' friend and I'm here to help you, but you've got to let my jacket go. Please.''

''Gibbs?'' Tony asked again.

Benito understood that in his feverish status Tony couldn't think clearly, so he gave him what the younger man desperately wanted. ''Yes, Tony. It's Gibbs and I'm going to help you, but you need to let me go. Okay? I won't leave you. Promise.''

He heard Tony sigh and was surprised of how quickly he relaxed and let him go. _Gibbs is more than just your boss, kid._

_Yes, I'm going to help him, but how? I can't put him on my horse, only God knows all of his injuries. I could hurt him more than he already is._

Benito looked around and in the dim light of the moon he spotted an old battered pick-up parked next to the still-standing part of the house. ''I found something, Tony. Don't worry, son. We're going to go away from here,'' he said as he headed to the pick-up. _At least, I hope so!_

Luckily, the car worked so, paying attention to all Tony's injuries, Benito loaded the federal agent on the back of the pick-up and covered him with a blanket that he had under his saddle. Then he ordered Tornado to go home and finally he drove away from that hellish scene and headed to his home.

''You're going to be fine, Tony,'' Benito whispered to himself.

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

After laying Tony down on his bed and covering him, Benito called his son as he boiled some water and went around the house to collect all he needed to disinfect and clean Tony's injuries.

''Omar, I need you here now!... I can't tell you... bring Dr. Domingo with you. Tell him to bring all of his stuff. We can trust him, you know... I'm fine, don't worry... be careful and be sure nobody is tailing you... bueno.''

Benito closed his cell and sat down on the bed next to Tony.

''Okay, son. I'm going to clean up your wounds. It won't be nice but I need to do that, sorry.''

It took Benito several minutes to disinfect Tony's faces and chest. He had to stop every now and then when Tony's whimpers and pleads became unbearable. The younger man in his bed was clearly suffering a lot and it wrenched Benito's heart that, every time he touched Tony, he cringed and pleaded for him to not hurt him anymore.

''I know that this hurts you and you've suffered enough, but I can't stop... shhhh... it's going to be fine... I've got you... you're safe now, son... don't worry... soon you'll be home... shhhh.''

Benito kept saying his mantra until he had finished his ministrations and heard his son entering the house and calling him. ''In the bedroom!" he answered and saw Tony flinching at his loud voice.

''Oh Dios mio!" exclaimed Omar as he entered the room.

''Madre de Dios, ayuda nos!" whispered the doctor behind him.

''Who's he?" asked Omar as he stopped next to the bed.

''He's the American federal agent,'' his father answered as he put a washcloth soaked in cold water on Tony's forehead and then stood up to give the doctor space to check his new patient.

''He can't be!"

''Yes, he is and we need to take him home as soon as possible, Omar. He needs a very good hospital,'' the older man added as he turned to the young American that was shivering and incoherently muttering, while the Doctor was checking the bleeding wound on his belly.

''Is it a deep wound, Domingo?'' Benito asked.

''No, it's just a deep cut and I can fix it with stitches. Luckily, I don't see any sign of internal bleeding, but he certainly has some broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a sprained ankle, a broken nose, a bad concussion and, judging from the swelling, I think his cheek bone is broken too. Not mention a huge amount of bruises and cuts. In certain areas it appeares that his flesh has been ripped off,'' he added as he pointed to a spot next to Tony sternum. ''I can see infection in some of the cuts too. I need to remove the puss before the infection affects the surrounding tissues. What did you use to clean his wounds?'' the doctor asked as he turned to Benito.

''Whiskey,'' Benito answered as he saw his son and the doctor staring at him in disbelief. ''I had nothing else here!"

The other two men shook their heads and Benito quietly added, ''Uhm, Domingo... his back is even worse.''

''What?"

Benito just nodded as the doctor told them that they needed to lift Tony torso up so he could disinfect his back.

''We could turn him onto his side instead of lifting him,'' said Omar.

''No, with a broken rib it could puncture his lung,'' the doctor explained.

Benito and his son did what the doctor told them, but as they saw Tony's back under the light, they both gasped in horror.

Seeing that his son's face took a greenish tint, Benito had Omar help Tony lean against his chest, ''Omar, get more bandages and washcloths. You can find them in the bathroom.''

As Omar exited the room, Domingo said, ''This man needs to be hospitalized as soon as possible, Suarez.''

''I know, but...''

''What? Benito, you know that you can trust me,'' he smiled as he kept doing his job.

The older man nodded, ''Rivera... Rivera and his men did all of this to him.''

''Hijos de puta,'' hissed the younger man.

It took nearly two hours, but finally Dr. Domingo had cleaned, sutured and bandaged all Tony's wounds. He gave him an injection of strong antibiotics and another one of painkillers. Then he inserted an IV of saline in his patient's arm and hung the pole up on a hanger, because Tony was really dehydrated.

Benito helped Tony to swallow an antipyretic with some water to bring his fever down before putting another wet washcloth on his forehead.

After all these ministrations, Tony was clearly exhausted so they finally let him rest.

**xxxxxxxxxxx**

Omar and Domigo sat at the kitchen table while Benito made some coffee.

''I'm really worried,'' said the doctor as he looked at the kitchen door from where they all could see Tony sleeping a tormented sleep in the room on the other side of the hall. ''I don't like how he's breathing. I've examined his lungs and I heard rattles in both of them.''

''Pneumonia?'' asked Omar.

''Yes. He needs a really good hospital. If the pneumonia worsens and his temperature goes higher, he could stop breathing or start seizing... or both.''

''And he...'' the policeman trailed off.

''He would die.''

''We can't let it happen after he saved himself!" exclaimed Benito. The other two men looked at him shocked and he vehemently nodded.

''We've got to bring him home!" Domingo angrily said.

''Yes, but how?'' Omar thoughtfully asked.

''You said that he's an American federal agent. Call his agency.'' the doctor proposed.

''We can't,'' answered Benito as he put three mugs of coffee on the table and sat down at the table too.

''Why?'' asked Domingo.

''Because if Rivera finds out that he's still alive, he'll kill all of us.''

''So?'' asked Omar, but he never received an answer because Tony started coughing badly and they all rushed to him.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

''Spit! Spit, son!" Benito encouraged Tony as the younger man spat some phlegm in a basin that Domingo was keeping in front of him. ''Good. Now, rinse your month and then drink some water,'' he added as Omar handed a glass of water to Tony.

Tony's hand was shaking so much that, if Benito hadn't place his hand over his, he'd have splashed the water on the bed. ''Easy. Let me help you.''

''Thanks,'' Tony whispered. He felt like crap and he was confused_. Where am I?_

He looked at the man that was helping him and asked, ''Who are you?''

''Benito and the guy that gave you the glass is my son Omar,'' Tony looked at him and the man nodded as he slightly smiled. ''While the other man sat on your left is Domingo,'' he said as Tony turned to him. The young man nodded as Benito added, ''He's a doctor and he cleaned, stitched and bandaged all your wounds.''

''Thank you,'' said Tony barely audible as he heavily leaned against Benito's chest. ''I don't understand... I... I was...''

''I found you in Morales' backyard,'' Benito explained as Tony cringed at only hearing that name. ''You're a stubborn and pigheaded, son. After the hell you went through to save the lives of a woman and her daughter, you even saved yourself.''

Tony nodded, ''I... I ne-need to lie...down, please.''

''Sure,'' Benito answered as he slowly eased Tony down.

Benito's words were echoing in Tony's head and in his feverish status he took him a few minutes to realize what the older man had said. ''Wait! You... you sa-said... how could you... you know... wh...'' another coughing fit stopped him, but luckily it wasn't a bad one. ''What I...''

''What you did?'' asked Benito as Tony saw Omar and Domingo leaving the room.

Tony looked at Benito as the Mexican slightly smiled and said, ''I know Gibbs.''

It was as if a fresh air had invaded the room and his ill lungs_. Gibbs... he knows Gibbs... I'm safe... I'm going home... Oh, God!_

Tony felt Benito's hands gently brushing his cheek as he realized that some tears had escaped from his eyes. ''You're safe, Tony.''

He felt his body relaxing as all the fear, the pain and the exhaustion of those days finally got the better of him and he could no longer keep his eyes open. ''Sleepy,'' he whispered.

''Yes,'' Benito said as Tony felt him standing up, brushing his sweat hair and putting a cold washcloth on his forehead. ''Sleep, while we figure out how to bring you home. You're safe now.''

These were the last words that Tony heard before falling asleep.

TBC

* * *

What do you think?

Review, please. Thank you :)


	32. Chapter 32

NB: I owe nothing of NCIS :(

Thank you for all support and sorry if I didn't answer to all of your reviews :)

*Thank you so much, Headbanger Rockstar*

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 32_

While Gibbs, Rosa, Amira, Leyla and Franks were leaving Mexico with a heavy heart, Tony was struggling to breathe and remain alive until Benito and his son found a way to send him home safely.

The day of Tony's funeral in DC, something bad happened in Mexico.

**Mexico**

''How is he?'' Benito asked Domingo.

He had called the doctor again because during the night Tony's fever had raised up and the younger man had stopped breathing for a few seconds, until Benito had strongly patted his back and Tony had spat a big, disgusting clot of phlegm.

From that moment the American had stopped recognizing Benito and saying coherently words.

''His fever is dangerously high and his lungs are severely congested.''

''How high?''

''104.3''

''Madre mia!" Benito whispered as he turned to look at the younger man in the bed. He was badly shaking and thrashing. His moans had become groans of blinding pain as he gasped for air.

As soon those words left Benito's mouth, Tony started keening and crying as he called his friends names. ''Abby... Gibbs... help!"

Benito closed his eyes as Domingo said, ''He can't go on like this for much longer. We've got...''

They both looked at Tony that was trying to push himself up.

''No!" they both shouted, but it was too late.

The movement was too much for Tony's weak body and they saw him collapsing back on the bed, unconscious. ''Finally,'' sighed Benito. ''At least he's not suffering anymore,'' he added as he turned to Domingo.

The doctor was staring his patient and his expression seemed more worried than before Tony fainted. ''Why are you so...''

Benito never received an answer because in that moment Tony's body started convulsing on his bed and if Domingo hadn't quickly jumped on the bed and had put firm hands on Tony's arms, the agent would have fallen into the floor.

''He is having a seizure! Hold his legs!"

Benito did as Domingo told and heard the other man asking, ''Have you a watch?''

''Yes,'' he answered as he felt Tony's body jerking under his hands. He looked up and saw Tony's head trashing from side to side.

''Time the seizure!" ordered the doctor, panting.

It seemed that the time had stopped and was running at the same time while they couldn't do other than keeping Tony from hurting himself.

''Time?'' asked Domingo and Benito realized that Tony's body had stopped jerking beneath him and his arms were arching from the effort. He looked at his watch and answered, ''Two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.''

''We can't put him on his side in the recovering position because of his broken ribs, so we've got raise him up,'' the doctor said.

Benito sat on the bed and pulled Tony against his chest so he could breathe better. ''I've got you, son. It's over... you'll be fine,'' he kept whispering as he brushed Tony's sweaty hair from his forehead.

Domingo put two fingers on Tony's neck and smiled, ''His heartbeat is strong. Just a bit too fast but that's normal after a seizure.''

''How long before he wakes up?'' asked the older man as he turned and looked at Tony. His green eyes were slightly open and unfocused.

''Minutes. Hours. I can't say that for sure,'' answered Domingo as he measured Tony's blood pressure. He frowned.

''Domingo, what's up?'' Benito asked as he saw how concerned the doctor looked while he checked Tony's eyes.

''Seizures can cause strokes, clots and brain damage. His pupils are normal so he should be fine, but he needs a CT scan.''

''So we can no longer wait,'' Benito thoughtfully said.

''Right. But you said it's too dangerous to take him away from this house. You said we need to wait for Rivera and his men to leave Fresnillo, and Omar said that they still are...''

''I know, but we can't risk his life,'' the older man said as he started massaging Tony's forehead in an attempt to make him come back. Tony didn't even flinch.

''You know that sometimes I help the Americans on their... uhm, operations,'' Domingo just nodded. ''I've a friend that... well, he could help us... maybe.''

''Why didn't you call him earlier?'' Domingo asked. He sounded slightly angry.

''Because he has done some questionable things and... let's say that his methods were not so by-the-book and his bosses don't like him so much. Calling him could just stir up too much attention... it could be counterproductivefor Tony and all of us.''

''So?'' Domingo asked as he took Tony's temperature.

''I'm calling him and... God help us!" Benito answered as he slowly switched his place with the doctor.

As he headed to the door Benito asked, ''How is his temperature?''

''A bit lower, but I'm concerned that he isn't showing any signs of recovering from the seizure.''

**xxxxxxxxx**

It took Benito a day and a night to finally find his friend.

While McGee, Ziva, their new probie and their new boss were back at their desks, Abby was back in her lab and Ducky and Jimmy in Autopsy. Gibbs was in Stillwater, when a phone on a CIA desk rang.

''Kort,'' answered the agent as he impatiently turned the pages of the nth report on Afghanistan war.

''It's me,'' answered a voice with a marked Mexican accent. ''We've a situation.''

''I'll call you back,'' Kort said as he hung up his desk phone and took another phone out of the top drawer.

He typed a number and after one ring the Mexican voice answered. ''We can talk now,'' Kort said.

''I need your help.''

''What for?''

''Extraction.''

''Who?''

''An American Fed.''

''Which agency?''

''I don't know. His boss is a former Marine.''

Kort's eyes widened, ''What's the name of the fed?''

''Tony and his boss's name is...''

''Gibbs,'' sighed Kort as he rubbed his face. ''Benito, Tony's dead. I was at his funeral yesterday,'' he sadly added.

Despite all that had happened between him and Tony, Kort really liked and respected the NCIS Agent. Tony was a very competent and brave agent and unlike him DiNozzo was a man that all people liked, but what Kort really envied was Tony's loyalty, integrity and honesty.

''Was there a body?''

''No, because...''

''Because Tony's body is in my bed struggling to survive. He's very ill and yesterday he had a seizure. I need your help to take him to a hospital in the US.''

''Oh, my God,'' whispered the CIA Agent. ''I owe him.''

''What?''

''Nothing. I need a day. Can you keep him alive for another day?'' he asked as he dialed NCIS Lab number on his desk phone.

''I'll try, but you better hurry.''

''Okay.''

Kort hung when on the other phone a female voice said, ''Yes?''

The CIA Agent couldn't believe that the woman on the end of the line was the always-happy Abigail Sciuto.

TBC

* * *

That's it! Now let's get back to present and move on!

If you don't remember what happened after Kort's call, I advise you to read the second part of Ch.4 and all Ch.5 :)

Review! Review! Review! Thank you :)))


	33. Chapter 33

NB: I owe nothing of NCIS :(

Your support is so important to me, guys. Thanks you so much!

*Headbanger Rockstar, you rock!*

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 33._

**Washington DC**

NCIS had received intel from the CIA about a probable terror attack on a ship docked at Norfolk Naval Station, planned and to be carried out by an Al-Qaeda cell that had infiltrated three terrorists in the crew. The intel said that the terror cell had hired some mercenaries and that the attack was funded with the drug deals.

So NCIS investigation was conducting three different investigations: terrorism, drug dealing and mercenaries.

Luckily, at the Naval Port there currently were only two aircraft carriers, USS Eisenhower and USS Truman, two cruisers, three guided missile destroyers, two freights, four submarines and four amphibious assaults.

That is to say about 14,000 people needed to be checked. Not to mention the entire Base's entire permanent staff.

So, despite it being very late at night, Stan Burley was in MTAC with Director Vance, while McGee and Ziva were working at their desks... or better they should have been working. Unfortunately their minds kept trailing off and going back to the last days of their lives.

''Hey,'' McGee softly called as Ziva slowly turned to him. ''How are you?''

Ziva shrugged and looked at the window. The moon light made the tears in her eyes shining. ''Ziva, talk to me. What's going on?'' McGee tried again.

''I'm just tired, Tim,'' she answered as she went back to the file on her desk.

''No, you're not,'' he said as he stood up and went to sit on her desk. ''We're not tired. We are...''

''Upset? Sad? Shocked?'' she snapped, anger clear in her voice.

''Yes,'' Tim sweetly smiled. ''We can't believe what happened and we... we want them back. Both of them.''

''But they can't have them back! For different reasons Gibbs and... and Tony will never come back.''

''All that happened and it broke your wall, huh?" Tim said as he nagged her shoulder.

''What do you mean?''

''You were crying, Ziva.''

Ziva immediately wiped her eyes. ''I've realized what Tony meant to me.''

''Yep, me too.''

''Your eulogy was so...'' she tried to find the right word. ''True.''

''Yep. Unfortunately, it was too late,'' Tim sighed as he went back to his desk and sat down.

''McGee, why did Kort call Abby? And why did he want to know where Gibbs is?''

''And why did he say that we'd have thank him for the rest of our lives?'' Tim added, completely forgetting their case.

''Exactly. We should investigate.''

''Officer David maybe you forgot that we're investigating a possible terror attack,'' McGee winked.

Ziva stood up and went to his desk. She put her hands on his shoulders as she said, ''McGee, who is one of the worst people you've ever met?''

''Trent Kort.''

''And who is one of the most impatience and condiscending men you've ever met?''

''Leroy Jethro Gibbs.''

''Put them together and...''

''I'll hack CIA data base,'' Tim said as he started typing on his keyboard and heard Ziva say, ''Wise choice, Tim.''

* * *

In the Lab, Abby was doing the same thing while Ducky and Jimmy were pacing the room and developing theories and making hypotheses.

''Guys, you shouldn't be here,'' Abby said as she kept typing on her keyboard.

''We've got no bodies and what about you, my dear?'' said Ducky.

''I've got no samples or evidence,'' she grinned.

''So none of us has anything to do, but we've got to justify our salaries,'' Jimmy winked.

''Oh! Ahhhh!" Abby groaned in frustration.

''What's going on, Abigail?'' asked Ducky as he stopped next to her with Jimmy.

''CIA keeps pushing me out of their system!"

''Me too,'' McGee's voice startled all of them as he entered the lab with Ziva.

''Timmy, we've got to find out what Kort is up to,'' said Abby.

''Yep, but how?'' asked Palmer.

''You could call Mossad,'' McGee said as he turned to Ziva.

''Don't you think it's too much?'' asked Ducky.

''We could store up a lot of troubles,'' answered Ziva.

''Stir up,'' they all corrected in unison.

''Whatever. The problem remains, how are we going to find out what is going on?''

Nobody answered her.

**Mexico**

''Domingo, he had the seizure almost twenty-four hours ago and he's still unresponsive even when his eyes are open,'' Benito said as he stared at Tony's fixed and absent look.

''I think he slipped in a sort of catatonic state,'' the doctor answered as he tiredly rubbed his face.

''When will he come out of this state?''

''Days. Months... never,'' the doctor sighed. ''In this state his body's conditions will deteriorate quickly because he can't voluntarily cough out the phlegm that blocks his lungs and we won't be able to feed him.''

Benito's heart skipped a bit as he turned to Tony who was staring at nothing before him.

**Pennsylvania**

As soon as Kort entered the airport, he spotted Gibbs' Uncle because the older man had a sign in his hands with Kort's name on it.

Soon Kort was seated in the passenger seat of Bob's old pick up speaking on the phone with of his contacts in Mexico, while the other man was driving like a maniac. _It has to be genetic_, he thought to himself.

* * *

Gibbs and his father were trying to fix the storeroom door when they heard a car stopping and someone knocking on the cabin door.

''Are expecting someone?'' Jethro asked Jackson. His father just shook his head. ''Keep working. I'll see who's bothering us,'' Gibbs said as he headed to the main door. He wasn't in the proper mood to receive guests.

Before opening the door, Gibbs looked out of the window next the door and he was relieved to see his Uncle's pick-up. ''It's Uncle Bob!" he shouted.

But when he opened the door and saw the man in front of him, his mood quickly worsened. "What the hell are you doing here , Kort?"

"I'm very happy to see you too, Gibbs," he grinned .

"What do you want?" Gibbs repeated as he saw his Uncle frowning behind Kort.

"Let me in, please," the man tiredly sighed.

"No way. I quit NCIS. I don't have to deal with you anymore," Gibbs icily answered as the images of Tony's blow-up Mustang and the body inside the car came to his mind.

"I know... let me in, please. I need just a minute of your time. Trust me, it's worth it," Kort slightly smiled.

''Trust you?''

''Leroy, what's going on?'' asked Jack from behind him. ''Let them come in, son.''

Gibbs reluctantly stepped back and the two men entered. The tension was palpable in the air.

"Now that you're in, tell me why you're here,'' Gibbs nervously said.

"DiNozzo needs you," Kort seriously said.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" shouted Gibbs as he grabbed Kort by his collar and threw him against a wall. A plant on the little table against the wall fell down and the vase shattered into pieces .

"Leroy!" barked his father. "What are you doing?"

Gibbs was chocking Kort.

"Let him go, Jethro!" ordered his Uncle as he tried to get Kort free from Gibbs' grip.

''Do not touch me,'' Gibbs hissed as he pierced Kort with his stare.

"Tony is alive," the CIA Agent whispered.

Shocked, Gibbs let him go and Kort fell down on the floor, gasping for air .

_TONY IS ALIVE_

These three words were still echoing in Gibbs' head, when a wave of dizziness made him swoon and he leaned against the doorframe. He couldn't breathe.

* * *

A few minutes later all four men were sitting at the kitchen table in silence. Jackson kept looking at his son's pale face and shaking hands as he tried to understand what was going on and why Jethro hated their guest so much.

''How do you know that Tony is alive?'' the older Gibbs asked.

''One of my contacts in Mexico called me,'' Kort answered as he massaged his aching throat.

''Benito?'' asked Gibbs.

''Yes. Listen Gibbs, I know that you hate me and I don't blame you for that, but I would never lie about such an important thing. It would be too much even for a bastard like me,'' Kort said as he leaned towards the former Marine. ''DiNozzo's alive and he needs help ASAP... he...''

''He what?" asked Jack.

''He's severely ill and he could die... really die this time.''

Jack saw his son standing up and leaving the room. Kort and Bob looked at him and the older man said, ''Give us a minute.''

* * *

''Leroy,'' Jack said as he approached his son on the porch. ''Leroy, what are you doing here? You need to hurry and save Tony,'' he added as he touched Gibbs' shoulder.

''I left him there alone... I... I took for granted what they told me... I should,'' he swallowed hard. ''I should have stayed there looking for him... I... I broke my own rule... I'm disgusted with myself,'' he said as he turned to his father.

Jack took Gibbs' face in his hands. ''You were shocked and upset. You didn't think clearly. You were desperate, but now you've got a second chance. You can save Tony, bring him home and fix all that has happened.''

''He... Tony was in Mexico because of me and I left him alone,'' Gibbs said as tears filled his eyes.

''Right now, it doesn't matter why Tony was there or what you did in the past, and he certainly he doesn't need your guilt. Tony needs your help... your son is waiting for you, Leroy,'' Jack whispered as he wiped a tear that was rolling on Jethro's cheek.

Gibbs took a deep breath and Jack was relieved to see his son's real look coming back as a slight smile appeared on his face.

''You're right Dad. I've got to leave to Mexico.''

_Bring our boy home, son! _Jackson thought as he saw Gibbs walking determinely back inside the cabin.

TBC

* * *

Ready for a new trip to Mexico? Who's going to go with Gibbs?

Review, please! Thank you :)


	34. Chapter 34

I own nothing of NCIS :(

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_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 34_

''How do you plan to get us to Mexico?'' Gibbs asked sharply as he entered the kitchen and made Kort and his uncle jump on their chairs.

''Us?'' asked Kort raising his eyebrows.

''Yes, US!'' Gibbs pierced the other man with his infamous look.

''Gibbs, listen. I can't...''

''Either you bring me there with you or I'll go alone and...''

''No! No! You would stir up too much trouble and I can't effort to lose my best contact in Mexico. It would be the last nail on my coffin. My superiors already don't like me and...''

''I can't blame them,'' smirked the older man as he saw his father and his uncle shaking their heads.

''Ya know, Gibbs. You have a weird way of asking a favor,'' Kort grinned.

''So, what's your plan?'' Gibbs pushed as he sat down at the table and saw his father and his uncle exit the room.

''I don't have a plan yet. If DiNozzo is as seriously ill as Benito said, we'll need a lot of medical supplies and a very good doctor.''

''Ducky,'' Gibbs answered without any hesitation. ''He's been in war in the past so he won't be scared by the situation.''

''Good,'' Kort nodded. ''I can't ask CIA for help or supplies. DiNozzo is not one of our agents,'' Kort explained. ''Though I could ask some of our agents in Mexico to give us protection and arrange a... uhm, special transport.''

''Do it and I'll worry about NCIS.''

''Are you going to ask Vance for help?" Kort asked really surprised.

''Sure. Vance sent Tony to Mexico without backup and SecNav doesn't know anything about this mission,'' Gibbs smirked.

''Are you going to blackmail him?''

''Sure,'' the older man resolutely answered.

''Leroy,'' Jack called him from the door. Both men turned and he added, ''I've already packed all you need for your trip, son. It's all in your car and we've checked the flights. You've two seats on the next flight to DC. It departs in an hour from Bloomsburg Municipal Airport,'' Jack smiled.

''Perfect, dad. Thank you,'' Gibbs smiled as he stood up, hugged his father and headed to the front door.

Kort followed him but stopped to greet Jack and Bob. ''Kort! Move your ass!" shouted Gibbs already inside the car.

''Has he always been so... so...'' Kort trailed off as he looked at Jack.

''Rudeand impatient?'' said Jack and Kort nodded.

''No. He was worse when he was younger,'' Bob sneered.

Kort chuckled as he shook his head and got into the car.

Before Kort's door was completely closed, Gibbs pushed on the accelerator and left the cabin with a squeal of tires and a slight drift.

Kort swore as he grabbed the handle above the door.

''Hey, Gibbs! We need to be alive to go to Mexico!" the CIA Agent protested as he saw Gibbs driving like a maniac with one hand while he was typing a number on his cell without paying attention to the dirt road in front of them. _God, help us!_

Gibbs entered the main road as the person on the other end of the line answered.

''McGee, all of you at my place in DC in two and half hours!" he ordered. Then he closed the cell and threw it to Kort, ''Call your men in Mexico!"

_I admire DiNozzo more and more every minute I spend with Gibbs... how could he have stayed with him for almost ten years?_

**Washington DC**

McGee and Ziva have just returned to their desks when Tim's cell rang and he answered.

From her desk Ziva looked at him as his eyes widened and his chin dropped. Her colleague listened for just a few seconds before he said, ''On it!"

He hung up and stared at the his cell in disbelief.

''Who was on the phone?'' Ziva asked as she approached her teammate. He didn't answer her. ''McGee? Hey!" she slightly punched his shoulder.

Tim slowly looked at her. ''What?''

''What happened? You look dump!''

''Dumb,'' he automatically corrected her.

''I do not care! Who was on the phone? A lead for our case?''

Tim shook his head as he finally answered her. ''No, it was Gibbs. He wants all of us at his place in two and half hours.''

''We can't go to Pennsylvania in...''

''No, here in DC,'' Tim shook his head still shocked.

''Why? Is Gibbs coming back?'' Ziva asked as her black eyes widened.

''Don't know. I'm calling Abby. Ducky and Palmer should still be with her in the Lab,'' McGee said as he dialed the Lab phone number.

''What are you going to tell to our boss?'' she asked.

Tim looked at his watch and smiled. ''Lunch break!"

''At 11 am? McGee!" Ziva rolled her eyes.

''We've got to eat when we've time. Perhaps at lunch time will have a lead and won't be able to eat,'' he winked.

''Sneaky. Who taught you these tricks?'' she smirked as she took her gun and her badge out of her desk.

''Tony,'' McGee whispered as shadow of sadness clouded his eyes.

A voice from the other side of the line brought him back to reality and Tim said, ''Abby, are Ducky and Palmer with you?... Okay, I need all of you at Gibbs' place in two hours... Gibbs called... don't know... Ab... Ab... Abby! Shut up and do what I said!" he ordered as he hung up.

''Is she excited?'' smiled Ziva as she followed Tim to the elevator.

''More,'' McGee smiled back as they entered the elevator.

_What's going on? _They both thought.

**Mexico.**

''Come on, Tony! Cough harder!" Benito shouted as he patted DiNozzo's back.

A few minutes earlier Tony had started involuntarily coughing and now he was choking because in his state he didn't cough hard enough to expel the mucus that blocked his lungs.

''He's choking!" Benito cried as he looked at Domingo. ''Do something!"

''I can't do anything! I just hope that his survival istinct works against his mind and it makes him spit the phlegm,'' the doctor answered as he tried to keep the IV on Tony's arm in place.

Tony took a long, painful breath and coughed pretty hard before collapsing into Benito's arms.

''Gracias a Dios,'' sighed the doctor as he saw a trickle of saliva and mucus drooling out of Tony's mouth.

Domingo took a new big syringe and removed the needle. Then gave Benito a piece of sterilized stuff as he instructed, ''Keep it under his chin, while a suck and wash his mouth.''

Benito did what the doctor told him as he supported Tony's body to help him breathing easier. ''Is he beginning to fight to survive?'' the older man asked.

''Yes, but I'm afraid it won't be enough to save him.''

The old former policeman and the young doctor looked at each other for a brief moment before shifting their eyes to Tony.

_God, save him! He saved a woman and her daughter... You've got to save him! He deserves it._

_God, make them to come soon... I can't do anything more for him! He needs You now!_

TBC

* * *

Review , please! Thank you :)


	35. Chapter 35

NB: I don't own anything of NCIS :(

Thanks for all your reviews, pm and alerts. They're so important to me!

*Headbanger Rockstar, you're amazing!*

§I'm not a doctor, so all medical information is from the Internet. Please, forgive all my mistakes :)§

- Get ready tissues, handkerchiefs and Kleenex :(

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 35._

**Washington DC**

''Where are they?" barked Stan Burley as he arrived in the bullpen and scarring his probie.

''I... I-I... don't know, sir,'' Agent John Kennedy stuttered.

''I went to the Lab and to the Autopsy and they're both empty, and now this!" Stan widened his arms gesturing to Ziva and McGee's desks. ''Find them!" he ordered as he went upstairs to talk with Vance.

* * *

When Gibbs arrived at his house he found his former team waiting for him. Abby was the first one to spot him in the cab and she to ran to him, but she suddenly stopped and frowned as she saw Kort getting out of the cab with Gibbs.

''Hi, Abs,'' Gibbs slightly smiled as he saw her angry glare. ''Let's go inside.''

''Not him!" Ziva said as she pointed her left index to Kort and rested her right hand on her gun.

''Yes, Ziva. Kort too,'' Gibbs quietly said.

''Boss, I don't understand,'' said McGee as Gibbs passed in front of him.

''Yes, Jethro. All this secrecy is a bit baffling and unnerving,'' Ducky added as they all followed Gibbs into the house.

The last time they have been all together in that house had been just after Tony's funeral and a wave of painful memories overwhelmed them.

''I can't stay here, Gibbs,'' Abby sobbed.

''Me too,'' Ziva whispered.

''Agent Gibbs, I.. I can't...'' Palmer trailed off as Ducky squeezed his shoulder.

McGee and Ducky didn't say anything, but their discomfort and pain were clearly readable on their faces.

''Boss, why don't we go to my pl...''' Tim tried to say, but Gibbs stopped him with a glare.

''Sit down,'' Gibbs just said as he opened the curtains on the window. He turned to look at all of them and slightly smiled. He looked at Kort who nodded.

''There isn't a right or an easy way to say it,'' Gibbs started.

''Say what?'' Ziva impatiently asked.

''Gibbs! What's going on? I can't take more bad news! I...'' Abby burst out.

''Tony is alive.'' Gibbs quietly said.

Disbelief. Pain. Happiness. Anger. Excitement. Calm. Shock.

All these feeling and emotions went through their hearts and showed up on their faces. It seemed that time had stopped and they had stopped breathing. An unnerving silence fell among them as they tried to process what Gibbs had just said.

_TONY IS ALIVE_

Three simple words that zeroed their thoughts and gave them hope. A hope that they couldn't believe in. The pain that other three words had brought in their lives and had shattered their hearts... _TONY IS DEAD... _was still too palpable to be forgotten.

McGee was the first to react. ''What?'' he whispered from the couch.

''DiNozzo's alive but he's in a really bad shape. We've got to bring him back home as soon as possible,'' Gibbs explained as he saw Abby raising up and going to him. ''Abby?''

''Is it real, Gibbs? Is it... is he really alive?'' she softly sobbed as she stopped in front of him.

''Yes, Abby,'' Gibbs hugged her. ''Our boy is alive and he needs us,'' Gibbs sighed as he felt Abby clutching his jacket and crying on his shoulder.

''This is why you called Abby, yes?'' Ziva asked Kort as she stood up and headed to him.

The CIA Agent couldn't help but recoil. Ziva's Mossad assassin's past was well-known and intimidating.

''Yes,'' he answered. ''One of my contacts in Mexico called me and said that DiNozzo is with him and he needs to be saved as qickly as possible.''

''Boss, do you trust him?'' McGee asked as he nodded to Kort. ''I mean, he tried to kill Tony so...''

''I know his contact. His name is Benito and he brought me to Tony when I... I...'' a lump closed his throat.

''Jethro's not your fault,'' Ducky said as he read his friend's thoughts.

Gibbs nodded, but it was clearly that he still felt guilty.

''You said that Tony's not fine, Agent Gibbs,'' Palmer said.

''I guess that 'not fine' is a euphemism Jimmy,'' Gibbs sighed as he let Abby go, sat down on the armchair and leaned his head against the backrest.

''Benito said that if DiNozzo doesn't receive appropriate medical treatment as soon as possible, he'll die,'' Kort explained.

Gibbs said, ''I'm going to Mexico with Kort. Ducky, will...''

''I'll be with you,'' the older man resolutely nodded. Gibbs smiled.

''Boss, I'm coming with you too,'' Tim firmly said as Gibbs nodded.

''Me too,'' added Ziva.

''You can't,'' her SFA said.

''Why?'' she angrily asked Tim.

''Because you've just become an American citizen and NCIS Agent.''

''So?"

''So, your boss will never give some days off and you could lose your job, Ziva,'' Tim reasoned.

''But...''

''Ziva, I need you here,'' Gibbs intervened. ''You, Abby and Palmer have got to prepare everything for our return. This house and Tony's protection detail.''

''Is he still in danger?'' Abby asked, clear fear in her voice.

''You are all in danger,'' answered Kort. ''Rivera and his men are still at large and when they find out that DiNozzo's still alive...''

''They'll try to kill him again,'' added Gibbs.

''And all of us too,'' concluded Tim as he saw his former boss and the CIA Agent nodding.

''So what are we going to do now?'' Ziva asked Gibbs.

She was still angry about not being allowed to go to Mexico, but her 'real' boss had given her an important assignment and she didn't want to screw up this time. _Tony's life depends on me too... he risked his life to avenge my death... he saved my life despite what I had done... I won't let him down... I'll show him that what he did for me taught me a big lesson... honesty, loyalty and love are the only things that count... when you're be back, Tony... I'll ask your forgiveness._

''We're going back to NCIS,'' Gibbs answered. ''McGee, you and I will talk with Vance. Ducky and Palmer will prepare everything we need to take care of Tony both in the air and at home. Ziva and Abby will start planning our return and the protection details,'' he added as he turned to the CIA Agent. ''Kort, you...''

''I'll work with Miss Sciuto and Agent David, but first I've got to talk with...''

''With?'' Ziva asked as she raised her eyebrows.

''It's better if you don't know,'' Kort grinned.

''Do you know any normal people, Kort?'' asked McGee.

The CIA Agent looked at all of them and smirked, ''Nope.''

''Okay. Let's go!" Gibbs ordered.

Abby and Ziva got into this last one's car and headed to NCIS Lab.

Ducky and Palmer got into the older ME's Morgan and headed to a pharmacy and then to Bethesda Hospital to talk with Dr. Brad Pitt and ask him for advice and medicine.

Kort called a cab and went to the CIA Headquarters. _Let's hope that Santos is not in jail again!_

Gibbs and McGee got into a NCIS sedan and went to the Navy Yard.

''Boss, you didn't leave Ziva in DC just because she's got to prepare the protection, did you?'' Tim asked as he drove.

''No,'' the former Marine answered. ''Thanks for your help, Tim.''

''Maybe, after all these years, I've learn how to read your mind,'' he slightly smiled. ''Even though, I'll never be as good as Tony.''

Gibbs just nodded and Tim added, ''You didn't trust Ziva, right?''

''I didn't trust her self-control or better...''

''Her lack of self-control.''

''Exactly,'' Gibbs nodded.

**Mexico**

Domingo and Benito had just finished cleaning their American friend up because he'd had yet another accident and had wet the bed again.

_This is a clear sign that he's not in a completely catatonic state or he would have stopped all his bodily functions... though sadly in this state he can't control his body either._ The doctor thought as he took a thermometer out of his bag and put it into Tony's ear. _I could put in a catheter for him, but..._ He looked around. _There's so much dust in the air... arid mountains are not the cleanest place in the world and Tony doesn't need a urinary infection. _Domingo sighed. _Luckily he doesn't eat and we feed him only with saline and vitamin IV or it would be a disaster... let's hope his friends arrive soon or Tony won't be able to avoid an infection._

''How is his fever?'' Benito asked the doctor as he look at Tony shivering body.

''It's still too high. We've got to get it down as soon as possible or it could cause heart or brain damages,'' the younger doctor sighed as he put a soaked washcloth on Tony's forehead.

''How?''

''Have you tub?''

''No, I've only a shower. Why?''

''He needs a coolbath. It'll be very uncomfortable, but it'll help him.''

''I've an old big wooden tub that my wife used to wash our clothes. It's in the back room. I'll bring it in the bathroom,'' the Mexican man said as he exited the room.

Alone in the room with his patient, Domingo looked at Tony. _What are you thinking? What are you feeling?_

* * *

Tony's mind was confused, but he could feel and hear everything. He felt trapped in his own body and stifled. He was terrified.

_What's going on with me? Oh, my God! It hurts!... Why I can't move? Why I can't talk?... Who's touching me?... Cold! I'm cold but I'm burning inside... my back... my chest... pain... I need to breathe... it's so hard... I'm hungry, but why I can't eat?... Why I can't open my mouth?... I WANT TO TALK!... Talk to me! Where am I?... I'm trapped again... no! I know these voices... they're friends... I need to pee but... I can't move... Oh, God!... nononononono... wet... I'm wet... No! Stop! Don't do that!... I can clean myself... I want to go home... Gibbs! Bring me home! Where are you? _

_Wait! Why are they carrying me? I can walk! I... I want to walk... Cold! NO! It's too cold... Are they torturing me? Cold water... Gibbs help me!_

* * *

''Why doesn't he do anything? He should be fighting us. He should be trying to escape from this cold water,'' Benito said as he laid Tony in the wooden tub with Domingo's help.

''He's fighting us. Look at his eyes under his closed eyelids. They're darting everywhere, but he can't scream or make his body to cooperate,'' the doctor answered as he poured some water on Tony's chest and felt his heart clenching for the agent.

''He must be terrified,'' Benito said as he caressed Tony's hair.

''Yes,'' Domingo nodded as he kept on with his ministrations.

After a few minutes they finally took Tony out of the tub and wrapped his still shivering but cooler body in some large towels.

They carried the younger man to the bedroom and laid him on the bed. Benito carefully and gently dried Tony's body as he tried to preserve Tony's dignity as much as he could, while Domingo took some clean clothes that Omar had earlier brought for the agent.

They dressed Tony with a pair of boxers and sweatpants. The doctor disinfected and bandaged all of Tony's wounds and then they put him in a long sleeve t-shirt.

Before covering Tony with a wool blanket, Domingo re-inserted the saline IV in his arm and gave him an injection of antibiotics and another one of vitamins.

Domingo checked Tony's temperature again and sighed in relief. ''It's down. 101.3. Good.''

''Don't worry, Tony. You'll be home soon and you'll be fine in no time,'' Benito whispered to the younger man's ear as he kept stroking his hair.

_Home... I just want to go home, please. _

''Benito, look!" Domingo whispered as he stared at Tony.

The older man looked at Tony's face and saw a tear rolling down from his closed eyes.

TBC

* * *

Are you ready for Gibbs and McGee's arrival?

I hope you liked this chapter :)


	36. Chapter 36

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thanks for all of your support. It's really important for me :)))

§A Special Thanks to my friend and BR Headbanger Rockstar. You rock!§

And now... a very long chapter for all of you! I hope you'll like it :)

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 36_

While Abby and Ziva were in the Lab planning Tony's protection details, and Ducky and Palmer were talking with Dr. Pitt at Bethesda Hospital, Special Agent Timothy McGee and former Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs entered NCIS building at Washington DC Navy Yard.

The guards at the entrance were shocked to see Gibbs back at NCIS and, when they tried to stop him from going to the elevator, they were been frozen by an icy glare and a firm ''He's with me!" by McGee.

* * *

Locked behind his office door at the CIA, Trent Kort was on a secure phone line with one of the most famous swindlerin Mexico. Juan Santos was not a real criminal. He just liked expensive stuff, but he didn't like to work so he had found a effective way to suit his attitudes: black market.

If you need anything, you just need to call Juan ''_Dod Dìas'' _Santos and in two days (dos dìas) you'd get all you wanted. Juan had his code of conduct; he would never trade in drug, arms and human beings. He saw himself as a modern Robin Hood, because he never stole to poor people only from the rich. Unfortunately the police had a different idea about him and he had been arrested multiple times.

''So you've just been released, _Dos Dìas_?" smirked Kort.

''Yes and I don't understand why they arrested me! I mean, I stole a Porsche from a very rich banker that has three more of those cars. What's the problem? I wanted to sell it and buy stuff for a mission near my house!" Juan protested.

''After you saved some money for you,'' said Kort.

''Sure. I did the job so I needed to be paid!"

Kort shook his head as he silently laughed. _The man has his own logic and... well, I agree with him!_

''What do you need, gringo?''

''Transport,'' Kort seriously answered.

Juan understood from Trent's voice that something serious and dangerous was going to happen, so he immediately went back to business and asked, ''How many?''

''Five including me. Six on the way back.''

''Helpers?''

''At least four. Can you find them?''

''Yes. When?''

''ASAP.''

''Something special?''

''Medical transport.''

''Severely injuries?''

''Extremely severely injuries.''

''One of yours?''

''Sort of.''

''Where?''

''Abrego not far from Fresnillo.''

''Reynosa territory, huh?''

''They did it.''

''So you'll need more than four helpers. I can find them.''

''I can't bring stuff with me.''

_So they'll need to have their own arms, _thought Juan. ''Okay.''

''I'll call you when we leave.''

''Bueno.''

''Juan, gracìas.''

''De nada, amigo!''

* * *

''McGee! Where the hell have you been?'' barked Stan Burley as soon as his SFA exited the elevator, but he immediately stopped his tirade as he spotted Gibbs behind Tim. ''Gibbs, what are you doing here?'' he asked as he approached them.

''I need a favor, Stan,'' Gibbs answered, but when he saw all of the people in the bullpen looking at them he moved to the stairs.

''What can I do for you?'' Stan asked as he followed Gibbs and McGee.

''DiNozzo's alive.''

''How could it be possible?'' Stan asked in disbelief.

''Long story. Tony's been tortured and now he's... he's...'' Gibbs couldn't complete the sentence as a lump closed his throat.

''He could die, Stan. If we don't bring him home soon, he'll die,'' McGee added.

''And you want to go there with Gibbs, right?'' Burley asked his agent. Tim nodded.

''And what about Ziva?''

''She'll stay here and will plan the protection detail,'' Tim explained.

''Okay, I'll help her, but as soon as Tony is home, you'll get your ass back here,'' Stand said firmly .

''Thank you,'' Tim whispered.

''Where's Ziva?''

''Abby's Lab,'' Gibbs answered.

''Okay. If you need me I'll be there too,'' Stan said as he headed to the elevator. _I'm wondering how I'll conduct the investigation on the terror attack with just that... that dumb probie._

''And now Vance,'' sighed Tim as he saw Stan entering the elevator.

''I'll handle him. Find Kort. Talk with Ducky, Abby and Ziva,'' Gibbs ordered as he climbed the stairs.

**Mexico**

''It looks like he's resting,'' Benito whispered as he looked at Tony.

''Yes. I think that the bath wore him out,'' Domingo thoughtfully answered.

''What's on your mind?''

''Let's go talk in the kitchen,'' the younger man answered as he headed out the bedroom and entered the room across the hall.

''So?'' Benito anxiously asked.

''I think that Tony can hear and feel all happens around him, but he can't make his body cooperate.''

''What do you mean?'' the older man asked confused.

''While we were giving him the cool bath his eyes kept darting despite they were closed. In my opinion he was scared and hated that cool water.''

''When I was drying him I've noticed that his body was stiffer than usual as if he didn't want to be touched.''

''Exactly,'' Domingo nodded. ''Every time we talk or touch him his body stiffens and his breathing accelerates. I think that his body endured too much pain and the seizure was the last blow.''

''What do you mean?''

''In order to protect itself his body stopped working. Usually it happens when people slip in a coma. Their bodies stop working while their brain doesn't. The only difference in Tony's case is that his eyes are open.''

''Do you think he sees what is in front of him?'

''I don't know. Probably his eyes register the images but his brain doesn't process them.''

''He must be terrified,'' Benito shook his head. ''What could we do?''

''Nothing except taking care of his needs and his wounds, and...''

''Pray that his friends arrive pretty soon,'' Benito said. ''Could you give...'' he never completed the question because Tony's breath caught and he started coughing.

Domingo and Benito rushed to Tony.

Benito sat behind Tony and started patting his back as Domingo helped the American agent cough by compressing and pushing up his chest.

* * *

Tony felt like he was choking. Every part of his body ached and the pain was unbearable.

_I can't breathe... I'm choking... plague... I've the plague again... Gibbs ordered me not to die... Boss, I can't do it again... I can't... I'm alone... I can't fight alone... who's patting my back? It hurts!... They whipped me do... do not touch my back... Gibbs? Is it you?... No... you wouldn't hurt me... you... you'd know how to h-help me... but you're not here... you went away and left me here... alone... why? Why is nobody helping me?... Air!... Breathe!... I want to breathe... why they pushing on my... my chest? It hurts... w-what's in... in my throat? _

_''Tony, come on! Spit!"_ Kate's sweet voice echoed in his ears as her image appeared in his mind.

_''I can't. Kate, help me! Tell them to help me!"_

_''You've got to help yourself, Tony. Cough harder. You can do it. I know that.''_

_''No! I-I can't.''_

_''Like we did in the past. Remember?... You're not alone... I'm here with you,''_ she whispered softly. Kate 'grabbed' his hand as she had done in the blue light room at Bethesda Hospital and squeezed it.

_''Kate, I'm choking!"_

_''Take a deep breath and cough. I'm with you,'' _Kate smiled at him.

Tony took a long breath and coughed out what was closing his throat. Then he collapsed, exhausted against Benito's chest.

_Thank you, Kate._

**Washington DC**

Leon was at his desk talking with Agent Nikki Jardine who was sitting in front of him, when the door of his office suddenly opened wide and Gibbs stormed in.

Nikki almost fell down from her chair while Vance jumped up and shouted, ''What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my office!"

''Jardine, out! Now!" Gibbs ordered.

''She's not your agent,'' barked Vance and ordered, ''Jardine, stay.''

''I said 'out','' Gibbs hissed as he glared at her and she slowly stood up and headed to the door.

''He's not your boss. I said stay!" Vance said raising his voice.

''I'm sorry, Director. But I'm more scared of Agent Gibbs than you,'' Nikki answered as she left the office and closed the door.

As soon as the door closed Vance picked up his phone and said, ''I'm calling the security.''

Gibbs reached his former Director, ripped the phone out of his hands and threw it crashing on the wall, then he pushed Leon down on his chair and leaned toward him menacingly.

Their faces were so close that Vance could see Gibbs' veins pulsing under his skin. The younger man shifted on his chair trying to defuse his discomfort and avoiding Gibbs' stare.

''DiNozzo is alive...'' Gibbs started.

''It's not po...''

''Yes, it is. _My Agent_ is stronger than you give him credit for,'' Gibbs whispered at Vance's ear.

Gibbs looked directly in Vance's eyes and saw them widening in fear. ''Yes, Leon. Tony's alive and when he'll be back, I'm sure he'll have a few interesting things to tell your superiors.''

''He wouldn't...''

''What? Tell the SecNav that you sent one of your agents to Mexico tailing Alejandro Rivera without any backup? Or that when DiNozzo told you about Franks' family, you didn't even think about sending someone to help him?''

''He decided to stay in Mexico and help Franks,'' Vance tried to justify his actions.

''True, but you were his boss and you should have sent him a backup agent. Plus, Franks is an NCIS Agent,'' Gibbs added as he silently cursed Mike for his recklessness that led Tony into hell.

''He _was _an NCIS Agent,'' Vance pointed out.

''He'll always be one of us, but I guess you'll never understand that... you've never been one of us.''

''What do you want, Gibbs?'' Leon asked as he tried to raising up, but he failed since Gibbs didn't move an inch.

''I want you to talk with Marines and the Navy and find us a flight with medical supplies to Mexico,'' Gibbs answered as he finally freed Vance.

''I can't do that,'' the younger man snapped as he finally sat up and adjusted his tie.

''Really?" Gibbs answered as he took his cell out of his pocket and dialed a number.

Then he slowly put the phone on his ear and maliciously smiled at Vance. ''Who are you calling?'' the Director asked.

''SecNav,'' Gibbs smirked as he said, ''Agent Gibbs for SecNav, please... Okay,''

''He won't do anything,'' Vance said as he tried to be convincing and miserably failed.

''He will... when I'll tell him that I'm going to call Diane Fontaine.''

''ZNN new journalist? Do you know her?'' Vance was shocked.

''Oh, yes. Since 2003... actually, both Tony and I know her... uhm... very well,'' Gibbs winked.

''Okay! I'll do it! You'll have whatever you want to, but don't call SecNav,'' Vance surrendered.

''Wise choice, Leon,'' Gibbs nodded as he closed his cell. ''I want to be in the air in one hour,'' he added as he opened the office door.

''I can't do that in an hour! I need more time!"

''I don't care what you need,'' Gibbs shrugged as he left the office.

''Gibbs!'' Vance called him back.

''Yes?" the older man asked as he re-entered the office.

''So... we're good. I mean, you won't call the SecNav, will you?''

''It's up to you, Leon.''

''Okay. In an hour you'll be in the air,'' Vance sighed as he collapsed on his chair and started dialing Marine Commander's numbers.

Gibbs closed the office door and headed to the bullpen. _The hell we are! As soon as Tony will be safe in US, I'll serve your ass to SecNav on a silver plate... you do not mess with my family and go scott-free, Leon!_

* * *

The next hour passed in a succession of phone calls, plans, doubts and hopes.

Abby and Ziva drove Gibbs; McGee and Jimmy drove Ducky and all of the medical supplies to Andrews Airforce Base, where a Marine Corps plane, fully equipped with a variety of medical supplies was waiting for them. _Nice... threats always work on guilty people. _Gibbs thought when he saw that big plane on the runway with all its engines already turned on.

''Bring him home,'' Abby whispered at Gibbs' ear as she hugged him. He just nodded.

''We'll be waiting for you here,'' Ziva softly smiled at McGee. He resolutely nodded even though he was a bit scared by their mission and of what they'd have seen when they'd have found Tony.

''Dr. Mallard, I...'' Jimmy trailed off.

''I know, Mr. Palmer. You'll take your friend home,'' the older man softly smiled as he squeezed his assistant's shoulder.

The four men entered the plane and took a seat. ''Good to go!" Gibbs shouted over the noise of the engines as he gave the Marine the thumb up.

Kort looked at the men in front of him. They were so different but so equal in their determination and desire to save their friend. _For the first time in my life I'm proud of myself. _He shook his head. _I can't believe I'm going to risk my life to save a man that I tried to kill... DiNozzo, you're such a man!_

Just after the takeoff, McGee started typing on his laptop. He wanted to be sure that they hadn't forget anything that could compromise their mission. _I wish I'd tried to know you better, Tony... but I stopped at the frat-boy mask that you like to wear... I'm scared, but you taught me how to face my fears and overcome them... I'm coming, my friend... and we'll fix everything._

Ducky was sitting next to Kort and he was, once again, going over the lists of all medical supplies he had brought with him and found on the plane. _Anthony, my poor lad... you just need to wait a bit longer and you'll be safe... I'll do whatever I can to help you to heal... we need you... don't leave us alone again, please. Oh, God! Help all of us!_

Gibbs had chosen a seat not far from the cockpit. He wanted, needed to be alone with his thoughts and his pain. In front of him there was a large stretcher, a portable defibrillator and a portable ventilator. _Oh, Tony... I'm so sorry... __Hold on, DiNozzo! You'll be safe soon and from now on... I'll protect you as I should have done in the past... I let you down, but it won't happen again... Never! I'm coming son! _

TBC

* * *

Five hours more and then our rescue team will finally land in Mexico!

Review! Review! Review! Thank you :)


	37. Chapter 37

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Sorry for the delay, but I had problems with the site *grrr*

Thanks to all of you. You're so nice to me :)

A special thanks to my beta reader. Headbanger Rockstart, you're amazing and a real friend.

- I'm not a doctor and I made some researches on internet, so please, forgive all my medical mistakes.

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 37_

**Mexico**

It was night when the Marines Corps plane landed at La Calera Airport.

Gibbs, McGee, Ducky and Kort immediately got off the plane. After five hours on a cargo plane they should have been tired and sore, but they weren't. The adrenaline and mostly the wish to quickly find and save Tony stopped them from feeling anything other than energy.

Gibbs spotted a man approaching them and asked Kort who the guy was. ''A good friend,'' Kort smirked as the short Mexican man stopped in front of them.

''Hi, Juan,'' he greeted the newcomer.

''Hola, Kort,'' smiled the younger man. ''Are these people the ones who need my help?''

''Yes,'' answered Gibbs and introduced himself, Tim and Ducky.

''Who are those guys?'' asked Kort as he saw a group of eight men standing not far from three black SUV and a big black van with no windows.

''They're your helpers,'' he smirked.

''Are they... uhm...'' Tim didn't know how to call them.

''Trust me, kid. You don't want to know who they really are,'' Juan smiled.

McGee looked at Gibbs and saw his boss smirking. _Oh, my God! What am I doing here? DiNozzo, you owe me!_

''Are you coming with us?'' asked Kort.

''Seguro! I don't want to miss the fun!" Juan laughed as he headed to 'his team' followed by the Americans.

_Definitely a bunch of muscular giants with sinister faces. _Tim swallowed hard when he met Juan's men and he was shocked when one of the bigger ones said, ''Happy to see you again, Sergeant Gibbs.''

They all looked at Gibbs in disbelief. The gray haired man studied the tall, blonde man in front of him for a few seconds, then a small smirk appeared on his face, ''Parson. What are you doing here?'' he shook his hand.

''Dishonorably discharged, Gunny.''

''Why?''

''I beat Major Fritz,'' he smirked as he saw Gibbs nodding.

''Good,'' smiled Gibbs.

_Good? Oh, my God! _Tim thought as he stared Gibbs wondering what had happened to his irreproachable boss.

''Are you going to drive, Gunny?'' Parson asked as they all went to the cars.

''Sure? How long does it take to get there?'' asked Gibbs as he opened a SUV door.

''It depends. Usually about 40 minutes to Fresnillo and another hour to Abrego,'' Parson answered as he opened a map and they all gather around him. ''Your man is here,'' he pointed to a red spot on the map.

''12 kilometres from Abrego,'' one of the other men said.

''So?'' asked Tim, finding his voice after several minute of silent shock.

''If we drive at anormal speed we should get there in one hour and fifty minutes, but...'' he turned to Gibbs, ''If we follow him we should get there in ninety minutes. Right Gibbs?''

''Or less,'' the older man seriously answered.

''Okay. We'll follow Gibbs,'' Kort stated as he got into an SUV with three of their helpers.

They all got into the cars. McGee sat next to Gibbs on the passenger seat while Parson and another man sat on the backseat.

Ducky got into the big van and with his big surprise he found out that it was an ambulance.

''Surprised, doc?'' asked his driver. His name was Randy and he was a huge, gentle African-American.

''Sure, my lad,'' smiled the older man.

''I'll help you. I was a doctor.''

''Was? What happened? If I may ask you.''

''I was a surgeon. One of my patient died on the table and I... I don't know what happened. It was not my fault, but I felt guilty as well.''

''Why?''

''She was a mother of three very young children and she and her husband had been involved in a car crash. He had died a few minutes earlier and...''

''And you thought that because you didn't save her, their children were alone.''

''Exactly... I quit my job and started drinking. I got in a great deal of trouble and I ended up here. I was alone, no money, no house and desperate. I met Parson and he gave me a house, friendship and a job.''

''What's your job exactly?''

''Do you wanna know if we're mercenaries? If we kill for money?'' Randy asked raising his voice as he clutched the wheel.

''Do you?'' Ducky calmly asked.

''No, doc. We help people that need help. We're not assassins, even though we look like them,'' Randy shyly answered.

''Good,'' Ducky smiled as he patted Randy's shoulder. ''I'm glad you'll be my assistant.''

''Do you know how your friend is?''

''We just know that Rivera's men tortured him and... he could die if we don't find him soon.''

''Rivera, huh? I would willingly kill him with my bare hands,'' Randy smirked.

''Yes, me too,'' Ducky answered.

**Washington DC**

''So?'' Ziva asked as she stopped her pacing next to Abby and Stan in front of the Lab plasma.

''So what?'' Abby asked a bit annoyed.

''Did they land?'' Ziva pressed as she saw Abby and Stan rolling their eyes.

''You asked me the same question ten seconds ago, Ziva. Did you hear my email dinging? Did you hear my phone ringing?'' Abby nervously asked and without waiting for an answer she added, ''No! Because they didn't call or email us!"

''Why are you so mean?'' Ziva asked.

''Mean? Me? Why are you so annoying?'' Abby retorted.

They were face to face. Anger clear on their faces.

''I'm not annoying!"

''Yes, you are!"

''I just asked you if...''

''And I already told you...''

Stan was watching that exchange with amusement, but when he saw Ziva leaning towards Abby and this other one doing the same, he couldn't help but intervene. ''Woah! Woah! Woah! Stop fighting, kitties!"

''I'm not a kitty!" Ziva glare at him.

''Me neither,'' Abby snapped.

''I'm just worried,'' sighed Ziva.

''Me too,'' pouted Abby as she engulfed Ziva in a tight hug and whispered, ''I'm sorry, it's just that...''

''I'm sorry too. I didn't mean...''

''Women!" Stan loudly exclaimed as he headed to the door and said, ''Let me know when they call. I've got to stop a terror attack.'' _And I'm wondering how I'll do that with no agents... as soon as this investigation is over, I'll get back to agent afloat. I swear!_

**Mexico**

As he had promised, Gibbs got to Benito house in less than ninety minutes and when he and McGee got out of their SUV, they saw some pale-green faces among their helpers.

''How can you be fine, kid?'' a certain Josh asked McGee.

''Years of training,'' Tim smiled proud of himself. _I'm no longer a scared probie!_

* * *

''What's going on?" Domingo suddenly asked as he stood up from the armchair he was sitting in and saw Tony's body stiffen.

''I don't know,'' Benito answered as he took the rifle that he always kept with him since Tony's arrival. ''Stay here,'' he ordered the young doctor as he headed to the main door.

Benito slowly half opened the door and looked out, but it was too dark to see through the dust that the cars had raised. ''We're armed. What do you want?" he shouted.

''Benito! It's Kort and Gibbs!" Kort shouted back.

''Come to me slowly,'' Benito answered as he loaded his rifle. He had to protect Tony and he didn't trust anybody.

''Benito! It's Gibbs,'' the gray-haired man said as he stopped in front of the door with Kort.

_Gracias, Diòs! They're finally here!_ The former policeman sighed as he recognized the men in front of him and opened the door.

''Ducky! McGee!" Gibbs immediately called and saw his friends running to him and then following Benito inside the house.

''Where's Anthony?" Ducky anxiously asked Benito.

''Follow me.''

**Washington DC**

Abby's email dinged and she and Ziva read the message:

_''We're with Tony. He's alive. Pray._

_Tim.''_

The two women looked at each other as tears appeared in their eyes.

**Mexico**

As soon as Ducky entered the bedroom he stopped on the door in shock. ''Oh, my poor lad,'' he whispered as he slowly walked to Tony's bedside. ''What did they do to you?''

McGee was just behind him and he couldn't believe that the man lying in front of him was his friend and teammate Anthony DiNozzo. Tim thought he was prepared to see Tony, but he had been completely wrong. Nobody could be prepare to see his best friend's pale face all swollen and covered with bruises and hematomas and his arms, chest and back all wrapped up in bandage stained with blood.

Tony had his eyes closed and if Tim and Ducky hadn't seen his chest raising and lowering and hadn't heard his erratic breath, they would have thought that he was dead.

''Are you a doctor?'' Domingo asked Ducky as he saw the bag that the older man was carrying. The ME just nodded as he couldn't take his eyes off of Tony. ''I'm Domingo and I'm a doctor too.''

''Did you take care of him?''McGee asked.

''I did what I could, but I couldn't do so much here. I'm sorry.''

''What did you do?'' asked Ducky as he sat down on the bed next to Tony, opened his bag, took out a stethoscope and listened to his lungs.

''I cleaned and disinfected all his wounds. Some were infected, so I removed all the puss and I gave him penicillin and used an aloe ointment. He was still conscious so it's been really painful for him,'' Domingo explained.

''I'd say he has pneumonia,'' Ducky seriously said as he put the stethoscope back in his bag.

''Yes,'' Domingo nodded. ''When he was still conscious he was able to cough and spit out the phlegm, but...''

''Wait! What do you mean with 'when he was still conscious'?'' Tim asked.

''A few days ago his fever suddenly raised up and he had a seizure. From that moment he's unresponsive.''

''Do you mean that he's in a coma? Or has brain damage?'' asked the young agent as he looked around looking for Gibbs.

His Boss was by the bedroom door and he looked petrified. Gibbs was staring at Tony's body and he didn't move a muscle. _It's all my fault... How can I face you? Tony... Oh, my God! You... you... I... Oh, please! Forgive me... I left you alone._

''Not exactly,'' Domingo answered McGee.

They all looked at him so he explained, ''His pupils are isochoric and normoreagent, so I esclude any brain damage, but he certainly needs a CAT. I think that Tony's in a sort of catatonic state.''

''Sort of?" asked Ducky as he look at Jethro. _He's in shock._

''Yes. Every time we talk or touch him, his body stiffens. My diagnosis is that Tony's body endured so much pain and fear that it shut down and now he can't make it cooperate.''

''You're trapped in your own body, my dear lad,'' Ducky whispered as he stroked Tony's cheek and saw his body immediately tensing.

''See?'' said Domingo. ''It's better if we do not touch him.''

''Tony,'' Gibbs whispered.

They all looked at Gibbs as he slowly approached the bed. Ducky stood up to give him room and Gibbs took his place on the bed.

''Tony, can you hear me?'' the former Marine softly asked as he put his calloused hand on Tony's cheek.

''Don't...'' Domingo tried to say, but Ducky's hand on his arm stopped him as he saw the older doctor shaking his head.

* * *

_Voices... unknown voices... did they come back to finish the job? Are they here to kill me?... Help me!... I want to go away... save me!... No! Who's touching me? What's that? It's cold!... I know this voice... who is it?... Talk to me! I'm here... I can hear you! Whoever you are, help me... home... just let me go home... who's touching me?... Stop! St..._

''Tony, can you hear me?''

_No... n-no... it's not possible... this is not true... Gibbs? Is he here? No... he left me alone and went away... he's not here._

''Tony, you're safe now. We're going home together.''

_It's Gibbs... no... I'm just dreaming... who's lifting me? Don't hug me, my back hurts... why? Why it doesn't hurt?... He knows how to not hurt me... who's this man that is hugging me... I feel safe but why?_

''Tony, you're safe now. Nobody will hurt you again.''

_It's safe... I want to feel safe again. Please, help me!_

''I've got you six, DiNozzo,'' a known voice whispered to his ear.

_Gibbs!... yes... Oh, God!... You're here... you came back... home... I'm going home._

* * *

Gibbs had Tony in his arms and he was whispering something at his ear. Nobody could hear what he was saying, but they all could see that Gibbs' words and hug were what Tony needed.

They all watched in disbelief as Tony's body finally relaxed against Gibbs' chest and for the first time since the seizure Tony voluntarily moved his head.

It was a slight movement, but all people in the room saw it.

* * *

Gibbs held Tony in his arms and kept reassuring him until he felt Tony's body relax against his chest and tears soak his neck and shirt.

He felt Tony slightly moving his head on his shoulder.

''We're going home, Tony,'' Gibbs whispered and he was the only one that heard Tony sighing in relief.

_You'll never be alone again, Tony._

* * *

_Yes, Gibbs... we're going home... IYouve got me and I'll never be alone again._

TBC

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter :)))


	38. Chapter 38

NB: I owe nothing of NCIS :(

Thanks for you patience and support.

A special thanks to my BR, Headbanger Rockstar. You're amazing!

- Remember that I'm not a doctor and please, forgive me for some curses that you'll find in this chapter.

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 38._

''I'm sorry to interrupt you, but we've g...'' Kort stopped at the bedroom door as he saw Tony in Gibbs' arms. ''Oh, my God!" he whispered with a hand on his mouth. _It can't be possible... DiNozzo... what did they do to you? _

The CIA Agent had seen many really bad things in his life, but Tony's face and body shocked him. It seemed that there was no part of the younger man's body unharmed and his left eye was completely swollen shut.

''What's going on?'' McGee's voice brought him back to reality.

''I've sent two guys to patrol the area and it looks like we're going to have company soon.''

''What do you mean?'' Gibbs asked as he felt Tony's body tensing. The older man started rubbing soft and gentle circles on his 'son' back and soon Tony relaxed again.

''A group of three big SUVs and a big van do not go unnoticed in this part of the world, Gibbs,'' Parson explained as he entered the room and started gathering all they would need to take care of Tony. Behind him, Randy entered the room as well pushing a stretcher.

''We need to move,'' Juan stated as he entered the room too and looked at Tony. _Madre de Dìos!_

''Okay. Let's go!" Kort said as he exited the room and left Tony with Gibbs, Ducky, Domingo and Randy.

''Jethro, you need to let him go,'' Ducky whispered as he touched his friend's shoulder.

''But he'll get scared again and I can't let it happen, Duck,'' Gibbs answered as he stroked Tony's sweaty hair.

''Agent Gibbs, we've got to load him on the stretcher,'' Randy explained as he opened the stretcher with Domingo's help.

The former Marine nodded and tried to lay Tony down on the bed, but his SFA's body stiffened and started shaking.

_No... no... don't go away... don't leave me here, please... take me with you... Please!_

''Tony, listen to me,'' Gibbs whispered as he slowly laid Tony down. ''I'm not gonna leave you here. We need to go away, but you can't walk,'' Gibbs swallowed hard as he kept stroking Tony's hair. ''So now we are going load you on a stretcher and then we'll go home. I won't leave you. Remember? I've got your six, DiNozzo,'' Gibbs softly smiled.

Tony's shaking subsided. ''Good. Now I am letting go of your hand go just a few seconds, but I won't go away,'' Gibbs explained as he let Tony's hand go and gave Domingo a Randy room.

_Who's touching me? No!... Don't lift me!... Gibbs!... Don't let them hurt me again!_

''Agent Gibbs, it's better if you keep talking to him. If he listens to your voice, he won't be so scared,'' Domingo said as he saw tears rolling down on Tony's cheeks.

Gibbs nodded. ''Tony? I'm still here. Don't worry. We're going home and you'll be fine in no time,'' Gibbs said, trying to control his emotions. A lump was closing his throat and tears were filling his eyes, but he needed to be strong for Tony. If his 'son' could sense fear and pain in his voice, he'd get scared and Gibbs couldn't allowed that. ''And as soon as you're better, we... we'll go to Stillwater...'' Gibbs couldn't go on and turned to Ducky looking for help.

''You can do it, Jethro,'' the older man reassured him as he squeezed his shoulder. Gibbs resolutely nodded.

''Ya know, Tony, my dad wants to see you. Last time I saw him... he... he...'' Gibbs took a deep breath. ''He was telling one of his customers that his Italian friend had told him to use pancetta and not bacon for Spaghetti alla Carbonara... now, in Stillwater, that pasta is called Pasta alla DiNozzo and... and I'm afraid that... while we're there, you... you'll need to cook for the entire town,'' Gibbs softly chuckled as he dried some tears that threatened to fall from his eyes.

In the meanwhile, Domingo and Randy had loaded Tony on the stretcher and strapped him down. ''Ready,'' Randy said as he started to move their patient towards the door.

Gibbs was at Tony's side in a second. He grabbed his hand and said, ''You did good, Tony. I'm proud of you. Now we can go home.''

* * *

As they were loading Tony on the ambulance-van two of their helpers arrived, jumped out of their SUV and run to Juan and Kort.

''We're going to have company in less than twenty minutes!" panted the taller one.

''Oh, crap!" Gibbs exclaimed. ''Let's move! Benito, Domingo, you're with us. Come on!" he shouted as he got into the ambulance.

They all run to their cars and sped away as fast as they could. There were two SUV ahead the ambulance and two behind.

Parson was driving the ambulance now, while Randy worked with Ducky to take care of Tony. Gibbs sat next to Tony's head and started massaging Tony's neck just under his ear.

Gibbs still remembered the first time he had done that gesture. Kelly was just one year old and she had had a bad nightmare. Shannon had tried to calm her down for hours, but the little girl kept crying at the top of her lungs and her parents were worried that she could get sick. Jethro had taken his scared little girl in his arms and had started massaging her neck just under her ear as he whispered a lullaby. Kelly had immediately stopped crying and after a few minutes she had fallen asleep.

Now the former Marine was doing the same thing for the son of his heart and he was pleasantly surprised that it had the same effect on Tony.

''Doc, I'm going to insert a IV. Keep his arm still, please'' Randy said, then he shouted, ''Parson! Try to drive as straight as you can!"

''Easy said than done! This road has more holes than Swiss Cheese!" Parson snapped back as he tried to avoid the holes on the road. ''Oh, shit!" he cursed.

''What's going on?" Gibbs asked.

''We've company! Pay attention back there!" Pason shouted back as they heard some gunshots going off.

''Oh, my dear Lord!" shouted Ducky.

Gibbs instinctively covered Tony's head with his body. He turned to Randy and, to his great surprise, he saw that man smiling. _He's completely crazy!_

''Don't worry, Gibbs. This ambulance is armored and the body has been reinforced with iron plates,'' the African-American winked. Gibbs and Ducky shook their heads in disbelief.

''Parson. Can you hear me?'' Juan's voice came out of the radio, startling all of them.

''Yes.''

''Go straight to the airport. We'll cover you. Do not stop for any reason.''

''Copy.''

''McGee?" Ducky asked, concern and fear clear in his voice.

''What about McGee?'' Pason asked Juan.

''He's in the car behind you. They'll follow you.''

''Over and out,'' Parson said. ''Hold on! It won't be nice!" he added as he pushed on the accelerator and passed the cars in front of them.

Gibbs was still holding Tony's hand with his right hand, while with the left he kept an oxygen mask on his mouth.

_Why are they shouting?... What... what's going on? Gibbs!... It hurts! No!... Don't move so fast!... Hurts!... Gibbs, help!_

''Don't worry, Tony. Just a bit of excitement and it'll be over. We'll be safe,'' Gibbs whispered to his ear as he felt Tony's body start shaking again.

_No more excitement, please... stop this mess! I want to talk with you... I need to tell you that... I'm afraid... but... you'll protect me... I trust you._

''Doc,'' Randy whispered as he tried to not fall down and distract the older man from the ordeal that they were living in that moment.

''Yes?'' Ducky panted, holding on his seat.

''Once you're in the air, I suggest you to insert a catheter. Ya know, in his state he...''

''Yes,'' the older man sadly nodded. ''Anthony can't control his body.''

''Ducky, do you mean that if they'll start feeding him...'' Gibbs trailed off.

''Yes, Jethro. Until now Anthony has been on a liquid diet or saline IV, but once he will be in the hospital, they'll certainly insert a nasogastric tube to feed him. So they'll need to put on a catheter and an adult diaper for when he needs to... to go to the bathroom.'' Ducky knew that likely Tony understood part of what they were saying so he tried to be as much delicate as he could. ''In this way it'll be easier and less traumatic for him, when they'll have to change him.''

Gibbs nodded as he turned to Tony. _You'll heal. You'll recover from all this mess and I'll be by your side every every step of the way. I swear it on my own life! You'll be fine! _The former Marine leaned forward and kissed Tony's forehead. He had never done that before, but this is what every father would have done for his son, and Anthony DiNozzo was his son.

* * *

''Are you scared, McGee?" Kort mocked the younger man from the backseat of one of their SUV.

''NO!" Tim snapped back as he aimed his gun out of the window and shot the tire of one the cars that had attacked them. The bullet hit its target and the car crashed against a big rock.

''Good job, McGee!" Kort exclaimed as he shoot some rounds too.

Tim just nodded and started shooting again. _I just did my job! _He thought as he remembered how many times he had heard Tony saying the same thing. The younger man softly smiled as he shook his head.

Only two of their helpers had been shot and luckily their wounds weren't life threatening.

* * *

''Oh, shit!" Parson cursed.

''What?" shouted Randy.

''There's a car in front of us!"

''What is he going to do?'' Ducky asked as he saw Randy gesturing him to sit down on the ambulance floor.

''Brace yourself!" Parson ordered.

''Jethro, what's going...?" the ME couldn't complete his question as Parson hit the bad guys' car and ramed it.

''Oh, my Lord!" shouted Ducky.

''Crap!" Randy cursed as he blocked the stretcher with his feet and saw Gibbs hugging Tony tightly.

* * *

_They're going to kill all of us... I don't deserve your sacrifice... They want to kill me not you... Gibbs, you came to save me... but I... no, I don't want you to die for me... save yourself! I'm not... not important... don't die for me!_

* * *

''Yes!" Parson exclaimed as he saw the car falling into a ravine. ''Die, dirty bastards!"

''Good job, Pars!" Randy exclaimed.

''What about the other car with McGee and Kort? Are they fine too?'' Gibbs asked as he released Tony and saw him opening his unfocused eyes.

''Yes, they're behind us. Don't worry, Gunny,'' Parson answered as he looked in the mirror side.

''Good,'' Ducky whispered as he regained his seat next to Tony and checked the IV in his arm.

''And now the airport!" Parson happily announced.

''Yes. We're finally going home,'' Ducky sighed and patted Tony's leg. ''And I promise you that you'll be fine, Anthony.'' Ducky added as he looked at Gibbs.

The grey haired man looked at his friend and nodded, as soft smile appeared on his tired face. ''Yes, Tony. Everything is gonna be okay.''

* * *

_Silence... stillness and silence... no more noise... no fear... just peace... they're whispering now... I just want peace and... no more pain._

''... I promise you that you'll be fine, Anthony.''

''Yes, Tony. Everything is gonna be okay.''

_Gibbs... but is... is it... Ducky? it's... Ducky's voice... he's here too... Gibbs and Ducky... they came together to... to save me... my family... my home... I can rest now... no more fear... I'm safe... my family is here... I can rest now.  
_

* * *

There was a comfortable and peaceful silence in the ambulance now and all the men were trapped in their thoughts, when a soft sigh startled them.

Randy, Ducky and Gibbs turned to that soft noise and saw Tony slowly closing his eyes as another sigh escaped from his lips.

''Ducky?'' Gibbs confused asked.

''He's resting, Jethro. Our dear lad can hear and feel all it happens around him. He knows that he's safe now and that he can rest,'' the older doctor reassured his friend.

Gibbs softly smiled as he looked at Tony and removed a lock of sweaty hair from his forehead. ''Rest, Tony. I've got your six.''

TBC

* * *

I hope you liked it.

Review, please. Thank you!


	39. Chapter 39

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

***Thank you to my amazing BR and friend, Headbanger Rockstar***

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 39_

**On the plane to DC**

Thanks to a light sedative that Ducky had injected in his IV, Tony slept the enire flight, giving Gibbs and all the others some time to rest too.

Gibbs never left Tony's side and he was almost asleep holding his hand, with his head on the stretcher, when Kort sat down next to him and whispered, ''How is he?''

Gibbs looked at the man in front of him and for a brief moment he thought how life can be unpredictable. Tony and Kort had disliked, hated each other for a very long time, but if it weren't for the CIA Agent, his SFA would have died alone in Mexico.

A soft smile appeared on his face and it didn't go unnoticed by Trent. ''What's that face, Gibbs?'' he asked.

''I was thinking that DiNozzo and you hated each other, but you saved his life today.''

''Yep,'' Trent softly smiled as he shook his head. ''Maybe now he'll forgive me.''

''Forgive you?'' Gibbs asked frowning.

''Uhm... his Mustang... I...''

''So he was right? You blew up his car!" Gibbs exclaimed, widening his blue eyes, and saw Kort nodding. ''Well, Trent... I don't know if he'll ever forgive you,'' Gibbs teased him. ''But it'll be interesting to see what he'll say after,'' Gibbs turned back to Tony. ''After he recovers,'' he whispered.

''I'll be fine, Gibbs,'' Trent softly said as he squeezed the older man's shoulder.

''Boss?" McGee said standing in front of them.

''You should be proud of him, Gibbs. He did a really good job today,'' Kort smiled as he stood up and went back to his seat.

''I am,'' Gibbs said as he looked straight to Tim's eyes and saw him blushing. ''And Tony'll be proud of you too, Tim.''

McGee just nodded and sat next to his boss and his SFA. ''He'll be fine, won't he?'' he asked as he looked at Gibbs.

''He will, but he's going to need a lot of time and help.''

''We'll get him back on his feet in no time, boss. Tony has the best support team ever... Tony and you... are the toughest men I've ever met,'' McGee resolutely said and saw Gibbs nodding.

''You're not less than us, McGee.''

''No, boss. I still have so many things to learn from both of you, but... you're right, I'm better than when I met you and your team.''

''Definitely!" Gibbs chuckled.

''Ya know, Boss, I miss Tony's nicknames,'' Tim smiled as he shook his head.

''Do not say it too loud,'' Gibbs smiled.

''Why?" Tim asked surprised.

''Ducky said that Tony can hear what we say so...'' Gibbs raised his eyebrows.

McGee turned to Ducky that had listened to their talk from the other side of the stretcher and saw the ME seriously nodding. ''Oh my God!" Tim whispered as he rubbed his face. ''I'm done!" and for the first time since their departure from DC, they laughed.

* * *

**USA**

As soon as they landed at Andrews Air Base, Tony was loaded on a helicopter and taken to Bethesda Naval Hospital, where an entire medical team was waiting for him.

Ducky, McGee and Kort jumped on a SUV and Gibbs drove them to the hospital as fast as he could.

* * *

When Gibbs, McGee, Ducky and Kort entered at Bethesda Hospital they were met with a nurse that escorted them to a waiting room and gave Gibbs a stack of papers to complete and sign as Tony's next of kin.

''McGee, call Abby, Ziva and Palmer, please,'' an exhausted Gibbs said and McGee left the waiting room. ''Ducky, how long?'' he asked.

''I don't know, Jethro. I'm going to see if I can find out anything,'' the ME said as he raised up and headed to the nurse's desk.

Until that moment Kort had been silent. The CIA agent was standing by the window and far from all the others. He wasn't part of the family and they needed time to deal with all that happened in the last hours.

Gibbs raised his eyes and looked at the CIA Agent that they no longer hated and disliked. _If it weren't for Kort, we'd have never found Tony... we all owe you so much, Kort._

''Thank you,'' Gibbs whispered as a soft smile appeared on his tired face.

''It's the least I could do, Gibbs,'' Kort answered as he left the window and sat next to the former NCIS Team Leader. ''I'm going back to CIA, now. I left without so many explanations and I guess my boss wants to see me asap,'' he grinned.

Gibbs nodded and said, ''If you need help just call me. Okay?''

''Thanks,'' Kort smiled as he leaned his hand.

Gibbs stood up and shook Trent's hand as he said, ''Let me know how Tony's doing, please.''

''Sure,'' Gibbs nodded.

McGee entered the waiting room as Kort left. ''Boss, Abby, Jimmy and Ziva are coming. Any news?'' Gibbs just shook his head. ''Where's Ducky?'' asked Tim looking around.

''Looking for info,'' Gibbs sighed as he rubbed his face with his hands. He headed to the window and looked out. The sun was setting and the sky was all shades of yellow and red.

_You'd like this sky, Tony. _Gibbs thought as he felt tears filling his eyes._ Hold on, Tony. You're home now and you're safe... please, fight... son, fight! I can't lose you... Tony, hold on._

Then the long waiting started, interrupted just by Abby, Jimmy and Ziva's arrival and by a nurse who told them that Dr. Mallard was with the patient.

''Gibbs... I know that... I mean... how do you think he's doing?'' Abby asked after an hour of silent waiting. ''I mean... Tony'll be fine, won't he? He's back home now. He's alive and we won't... I... we...''

''Abs, come here,'' Gibbs whispered as he opened his arms and hugged her tightly.

''We can't lose him again,'' she whispered on his neck.

Gibbs didn't say anything. He just kissed her head as he looked at Ziva and McGee. His two former agents looked so vulnerable and lost.

McGee was as pale as the snow and Ziva's eyes were full of tears. She said, ''Gibbs, I...'' but she couldn't go on as lump closed her throat.

Gibbs was still holding Abby in his arms when he saw McGee and Ziva heading to them. He opened his arms and they all hugged.

* * *

Three hours later Gibbs was about to break down the ER doors, when Ducky finally entered the waiting room followed by Dr. Brad Pitt.

Gibbs was looking the black sky outside of the window and Abby, Tim, Ziva and Palmer were sitting on different chairs lost in their thoughts. Ziva was the first one to see the doctors. ''Ducky,'' she whispered.

Gibbs, Abby, Jimmy and McGee's heads snapped up and looked at the doctors. The former Marine approached them. ''So? How bad?''

''He's alive, isn't he?'' Abby asked barely audible.

''Yes, my dear. Anthony is alive,'' Ducky softly smiled, squeezing her shoulder.

''But?" McGee asked.

''Please, follow me in my office,'' Brad offered.

''No, now!" exclaimed Ziva startling all of the others. ''Sorry, it's just that... I...''

''Okay, let's have a seat,'' Brad softly smiled. They all sat down and the younger doctor added, ''Dr. Mallard?"

''Duck, what's going on?'' Gibbs asked.

''Our dear Anthony has had a really rough time, I'm afraid. He has bruises and cuts on all over his body. Some cuts are so deep that the flesh is missing.''

Their eyes widened in shock as a gasp escaped from Abby's lips.

''This reminds me of Mel Gibson's film The Passion. In that movie...'' Ducky started telling them.

''Duck!" Gibbs nervously exclaimed.

''Tony's been badly beaten several times, Gibbs,'' sighed Brad as he rubbed his neck. He still couldn't believe that the man that they'd just transferred to ICU, was his friend.

''Anthony has a severe concussion, but no skull fracture,'' Ducky said as he saw Gibbs sigh in relief. ''X-Rays show a dislocated ankle, a dislocated shoulder that luckly has been replaced by Dr. Domingo in Mexico, broken cheekbone and nose.''

''Do you need to operate?'' Tim asked.

''Yes,'' Brad answered. ''We need to reduce the fracture or he could have breathing problems.''

''When?'' Palmer asked.

''Tomorrow morning. It won't be invasive and it won't leave scars,'' the younger doctor added.

''Why have I got the feeling that you are not telling us everything?'' Ziva asked.

''Brad?'' Ducky turned to the younger man.

''There's a spot of pneumonia on his left lung. We're giving him high doses of antibiotics. He's sedated and on oxygen.''

''Did you intubate him?'' Gibbs asked, fear and concern clear in his voice. He knew how much Tony hated the ventilator.

''No, we put him on BPAP mask. It's not invasive and it's not life support. Tony's exhausted, dehydrated and he hasn't eaten properly for several days. We just want to give his body some extra support, so his lungs can heal and he doesn't need to struggle for any breath. Our main concern now is Tony's catatonic state,'' Brad shook his head.

''What do you mean?'' Tim asked.

''Dr. Mallard told me that Tony responds to Gibbs' voice and touch,'' Brad said as he looked at Gibbs and saw him nodding. ''This is good, but in this state Tony can't cough out voluntarily the mucus that constricts his lungs so we can't give him any breathing treatment. But if we do not intervene quickly, his respiratory system will weaken more and more 'till he won't be able to breathe without a ventilator. We need to help him breathe and, at the same time, we need to clean his lungs. In order to do that and since he's sedated, I've already performed a lavage of his lungs.''

''Did it work?'' Palmer asked.

''Yes, Mr. Palmer. It worked, but...'' Ducky trailed off.

''But if he can't clear his lungs, I'll need to do another one and it'll be stressful for his lungs and him too, especially if Tony is awake,'' Brad explained.

''In this altered state Anthony can't eat, but he needs to regain his strength, so they also placed a feeding tube in his stomach. As soon as his lungs will be clear, they'll replace it with a NG tube,'' Ducky informed them.

Ducky and Brad exchanged a significant look that didn't go missed by Gibbs. ''What?" asked the former Marine.

''Is there something more, yes?'' Ziva asked.

''Anthony is very weak and his status prevents him from fighting for his recovery so...''

''Do you mean that if he doesn't snap out of this catatonic state he could...'' Gibbs stopped unable to say that horrible word.

Ducky just nodded as Brad said, ''Yes, Agent Gibbs. We need to find a way to get Tony back or he'll slowly slip away from us.''

Abby clutched Tim's arm and buried her head on his shoulder. Tim turned to Gibbs looking for reassurance, but their boss was staring at the wall in front of him. His face a mask of pain and despair.

Ziva kept looking to all of them as she troubled her lower lip, in the vain attempt to stop the tears that were filling her eyes. ''No!" she sighed as she raised up and left the waiting room.

''Ziva!" Abby called her.

''Let her go. She needs some time alone and out of here,'' Ducky said as he saw Jimmy standing up and shaking his head. ''She shouldn't be alone. I'll find her,'' the younger ME said.

''No, I'll take care of her, Palmer. Stay with Abby,'' McGee said as he left the room.

''I want to see him!" Gibbs sharply said, standing up.

''Jethro, Anthony's resting now. He's sleeping and he won't...'' Ducky tried to say.

''I want to see him!" Gibbs repeated firmly.

''Follow me,'' Brad said as he stood up and headed to the elevator that brought to ICU.

''I won't let him give up,'' Gibbs murmured as he followed the younger man and saw Brad nodding.

_I won't lose you again, Tony! Damn, DiNozzo! Do not dare to give up!_

* * *

''In here,'' Brad whispered as he opened Tony's room door and let Gibbs in.

What Gibbs saw stopped his heart. _Oh, my God... Tony..._

TBC

* * *

Review, please! Thank you :)


	40. Chapter 40

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Sorry for the delay, but RL and a bad writer's block stopped me. I hope you're still interested in this story and that you'll keep reading it until the end.

Thanks for all of your reviews, alerts, favorite and pm.

Thank you so much to my BR USA123. You're great!

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 40._

''Dr. Mallard?"

''Yes, Mr. Palmer,'' Ducky said as he looked at the pale face of his assistant.

''What do you think? I mean... what...'' he trailed off.

''Let's have a walk. We all need fresh air,'' the older man said as he stood up. ''Abigail?'' he looked at the distraught woman sitting in front of them.

''I wanna stay here, just... just in case, Gibbs comes and tells us that...''

''My dear,'' Ducky sighed sitting down next to her. ''Jethro won't leave Anthony for a while. Our brave lad is stable and he's resting,'' he softly smiled and wiped some tears on her cheek.

''We'll be out for less than an hour, Abby,'' Jimmy reassured her as he knelt in front of her.

''And Jethro can call us whenever he wants,'' Ducky added as he squeezed Abby's hand.

Abby nodded and raised up. ''You promise we'll be back soon?'' she whispered in a child-like voice. Both men nodded and they all headed to the elevator.

_I'm wondering where Ziva went and if Timothy'll be able to find her. _Ducky thought as the elevator doors closed.

* * *

''Ma'am, please! I... I said... I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't...''

''Ziva! What are you doing?" McGee called her and he ran to his teammate that was pinning a young man against a wall and was twisting his arm firmly on his back.

''Sir, help me, please!'' the man begged in pain.

''Ziva let him go,'' Tim softly said trying to catch her attention, but she wasn't listening to him. She seemed lost in her anger. ''Ziva, let go,'' McGee repeated as he touched her arm and felt the tension in her muscles.

''I didn't...'' the man tried to say, but Ziva pulled his arm and made him cry out.

''What happened?'' McGee asked as he tried to find a way to stop this crazy situation.

''I-I was in a hurry and I run into her. I... I apologized, but... but she... she shoved me against this wall and... Oh my God! Sir, please, help me... It hurts!"

McGee sighed as he rubbed his face and Gibbs' words came to his mind, ''_I don't trust her lack of self-control.''_

''Ziva,'' McGee firmly said as he squeezed her shoulder. ''You've got to let him go. He didn't do anything wrong and he apologized. I know that you're upset, but this is not the solution,'' Tim squeezed harder and this time Ziva looked at him. ''Let him go,'' he softly smiled. Then he leaned to her and whispered, ''Or he'll charge you. The PD will arrest you for unjustified assault and you won't see Tony for a long time.''

Ziva blinked, looked at her hand as if it didn't belong to her and let the man go.

''Thank you, sir,'' the young man sighed rubbing his anching arm. ''What's wrong with her?'' he demanded to know.

Ziva glared at him and tried to assault him again, but luckily McGee stopped her before she got in much more trouble. ''Sat down on the bench and wait for me, please,'' Tim gently told Ziva with a stare that didn't leave room for questions.

_''Improvise, probie!" _

_"Today, McGee!'' _

Tony and Gibbs' voices echoed in his ears. _Easier said than done! I've spent so much time stucked at my desk doing geek's job, that I forgot how to be a field agent that thinks on his feet and saves the day! What Tony would do?_

Tim looked at Ziva and a mischievous grin appeared on his innocent face. With the saddest look he could fake, McGee whispered, ''I'm really sorry. She's had a severe mental breakdown because her boyfriend cheated on her. She's just escaped from the Psych Ward.''

The young man's eyes widened in fear. Tim just gravely nodded and added, ''She's unstable and dangerous. She's already wuonded one of her friends because he was trying to help her.''

''Really?"

''Yes. She's a trained Mossad officer so... uhm... you know...''

''Yes. Yes,'' the man nodded vehemently as he looked at Ziva not far from them. ''I won't say anything, but... keep an eye on her!"

''Sure. Thanks for your understanding,'' Tim sadly smiled and took a card from his wallet. ''If you need anything, do not hesitate to call me.''

The young man nodded and shook Tim's hand. Then he went away.

As soon as the young man left, McGee reached Ziva at the bench and sat down next to her.

''I know. I overreacted and...'' Ziva started.

''No. You lost control, Ziva. You're an NCIS Agent now and you can't do that,'' Tim firmly said.

''I was nervous and upset and he...''

''Bullsh*t! You've got to learn to have self-control or you'd get in trouble or worse... you'd get us in trouble. You've got to as a Federal Agent or I'll tell Vance what happened and you'll be out of NCIS in a blink,'' McGee said very seriously snapping his fingers.

Ziva tried to say something, but a Gibbs' glare from McGee stopped her and she nodded. ''What did you tell him?'' she asked.

''That you're unstable and dangerous because you've had a breakdown after your boyfriend cheated on you,'' Tim grinned.

''What?!" she asked shocked.

''Better crazy than arrested,'' McGee winked as she glared at him and then smiled.

''I guess so,'' Ziva nodded. ''Who taught you to be so... so...''

''Sneaky?" Tim asked and she nodded.

''Tony!" they both answered in unison.

* * *

Gibbs slowly entered the room where Tony lied on a bed surrended by so many wires and monitors that the former Team Leader was barely able to stop next to the bed and grab the younger man's hand in his.

The room was silent, except for the bip the counted Tony's heartbeat and the hiss of the BIPAP machine*.

Even in the dim light Gibbs could see the bruises on Tony's sweat face and he didn't want to thinkabout what he'd have seen if the younger man's arms and torso weren't wrapped up in clean bandages.

''Oh, Tony,'' he whispered as he looked at Tony's chest that unnaturally raised up and down thank to the forced ventilation. ''Everything will be fine. You're going to be okay, Tony.''

He looked at all those machines hopelessly and swallowed hard. ''Tomorrow they'll fix your cheekbone, but don't worry. I've already talked with Brad. It won't be painful and it won't leave any scars,'' Gibbs softly chuckled. ''You'll still be the most wanted NCIS Agent by all the women in the world.''

Gibbs suddenly became serious and all smiles disappeared from his face. ''I should have told you to come back home and not help Mike. I should have send you some backup, though it was not NCIS business... I should have come to Mexico and help you. I trust you, but you don't know Franks as much as I do,'' Gibbs shook his head. ''If you think that I'm a reckless SOB that goes on mission alone... well,he's worse than me. I... I'll make them pay. All the men that did this to you and...'' he swallowed hard again trying to control his anger and the tears. ''Mike... he'll pay too!" Gibbs hissed squeezing Tony's hand hard.

Tony's head moved imperceptibly towardshim and, if Gibbs hadn't looked at him in that moment, he'd have missed it. ''Tony? Can you hear me?''  
he asked hopefully, but no other signs of recongnition arrived.

Gibbs' head bowed sadly and he sighed. _Tony, please! Give me any sign that you're still in there! Come back to us... to me! We... I need you. Tony, please!_

''I know that it's overwhelming, Gibbs,'' Brad said from the door.

Gibbs thought that Brad had left as soon as he sat down next to Tony's bed, so he was startled by the doctor's words. He turned and saw Tony's friend entering the room and stopping on the other side of the bed.

''I thought I was alone,'' he snapped and glared at Brad. He saw the younger man shaking his head and softly smile. ''Did I say something?'' Gibbs asked a bit worried.

''No, but I can read the pain, the concern and... dare I say anger and regrets on your face?'' Brad answered raising one of his eyebrow.

Gibbs smirked and shook his head. ''Did you learn that cocky smile and that teasing look from DiNozzo?''

''Me? Learning something from a Buckeye? You're insulting me here, Gibbs!" Brad joked and made Gibbs smile.

Their smiles suddenly disappeared as all machines started shieking and Tony's body arched back in the bed.

In a few seconds that quiet, dim light room was invaded by a bright light and by three nurses bringing more machines.

Gibbs recognized one of them as a defribillator.

''Brad, what's going on?" Gibbs shouted over that alarms and the medical personal's orders. He saw a nurse throwing the BIPAP mask away and another one moving Tony's bed, so Brad could stand behind Tony's head.

Brad threw the pillow away as well and tilted Tony's head back.

''Sir, please. You've got to wait outside,'' a nurse tried to gently push Gibbs out of the room.

''No!" Gibbs growled.

''He can't breath! There's must be a clot of mucus that block respiration. Emma, give me bronchoscope with a camera,'' the doctor ordered.

''Morphine, doctor?'' asked a male nurse.

''No, it could depress him respiratory system. Keep him still as much as you can,'' Brad answered. ''Come on, Tony! Help me here!"

''Brad! Tell me what's going on!" Gibbs desperatly asked.

''Gibbs! OUT! NOW!" the doctor shouted as he briefly looked at Gibbs. He knew that Tony was a son to Gibbs and he didn't want the man to see what he was going to do. ''Go!" he softly added.

Then the doctor introduced a small, long tube in Tony's mouth and looked into the camera.

The last words that Gibbs heard before a nurse closed the door behind him were...

Brad: ''I can see a big clot on his left lung!"

Nurse: ''Oxygen Sat is dropping!"

Emma: ''55% down.''

Male nurse: ''He is tachycardic! 110 bpm.''

Brad. ''I'm almost there. Prepare saline. I'm going to perform a lavage.''

Emma: ''50% down!"

Male nurse: ''125 bpm.''

Emma: ''We are risking brain damages, doctor.''

Brad: ''I know. Dammit, Tony! Breath!"

* * *

Gibbs slumped against the wall outside Tony's room, tilted his head back and closed his eyes.

His entire world was crumbling down.

Vance and Franks. His boss and his mentor and friend had betrayed him and had put Tony in danger just to achieve their goals.

_If this is what we've got to suffer to do our job... No! No work is worth of so much pain. _

_My job is... was my life, but the life of my family is more important than any job._

_If Tony... if..._

''Jethro, what is happening? Why are not with Anthony?'' Ducky's calm voice brought him back to reality. ''Jethro?" the ME squeezed his friend's shoulder and forced Gibbs to look at him. ''What happened?''

''He's dying, Ducky,'' Gibbs whispered and Kate's desperate face appeared in the older man's mind. She has said the same thing when they thought Tony was dying from the pneumonic plague.

Gibbs and Ducky stared at each other, but a gasp made them turn.

In front of them, there were Abby and McGee. Their eyes wide for fear and their faces were pale for shock. They looked like two people that were going to lose their elder brother.

It seemed that time had stopped and no one was breathing. Even the hallway sounded silent. They looked at each other wihout saying any word.

What can you say in moments like these?

The door of Tony's room opened and they saw a sweaty, pale Brad sighing.

''So?'' Gibbs asked.

TBC

* * *

Please, so not kill me!

I'll post soon. Promise :)

* BIPAP: is a mode of respiratory ventilation that can prevent the need for tracheal intubation.


	41. Chapter 41

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thanks to all of you and a special thanks to my BR. USA123, you're amazing!

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 41._

_The door of Tony's room opened and they saw a sweaty, pale Brad sighing._

_''So?'' Gibbs asked._

* * *

"Bradley,'' Ducky whispered.

''Is he... '' Gibbs trailed off as lump closed his throat. He couldn't say that word. No! He couldn't!

''He's alive,'' Brad sighed.

Relief washed all over their faces as Abby started sobbing on Tim's shoulder.

''But?'' Jimmy asked from behind Abby and McGee. He had arrived just in time to hear Gibbs telling Dr. Mallard that Tony was dying, but nobody had noticed him.

Brad, Gibbs, Ducky, McGee and Abby turned to him. The pulmonologist sadly smiled and nodded. ''Gibbs, follow me. Please,'' Brad said as he headed to his office.

''Ducky?'' Gibbs whispered and the ME followed him to Dr. Pitt's office.

"No! I want to..." Abby started, but McGee's hand on her arm stopped her. ''What?!" she snapped.

''They'll tell us later, Abby,'' Tim reassured her.

''But we're Tony's family too!" she protested.

''Sure, but Agent Gibbs is Tony's next of kin and Dr. Mallard can translate what Dr. Pitt says,'' Palmer explained. ''We need to wait. I'm sure it won't take them long,'' Jimmy added as he entered the waiting room and sat down on a uncomfortable chair.

* * *

After their talk, McGee had sent Ziva to the office under the premise of keeping their boss, Agent Stan Burley, calm. ''After all,'' he had told Ziva. ''We still are NCIS Agents and we're investigating a possible terror attack on US Navy.''

She had tried to protest, but in the end Ziva had realized that Tim was right.

Ziva knew that she was still on edge and that she needed to calm down before visiting Tony or being in the same room with Gibbs or Abby. They didn't need more stress, anger and fear than they already felt.

So now Agent Ziva David was at her desk staring the monitor in front of her and thinking about her friends in the hospital.

''Daydreaming, David?'' asked Stan and startled her.

''I... uhm... I mean, I was...''

''Thiking about what's happening in Bethesda,'' he softly smiled and saw her nodding. ''I know that this is hard: Tony's a friend to me too and I'm really worried, but you've got a work to do and I'm sure that he'd approve what you're doing.''

''Yes. When Gibbs was in a coma and Tony was team leader... he wanted to stay by Gibbs's side, but he chose to stay here and do his job though...'' Ziva shook her head.

''Though?'' Stan encouraged her.

''We gave him a strong time. We...''

''Hard time,'' he corrected her with a smile.

''Yes, that too,'' she didn't understand his correction and his grin widened. ''We kept telling him that he was not Gibbs and we questioned his orders until he got mad and...''

''And?''

''Well, let's say that an angry DiNozzo is not something I want to see again,'' she smirked and saw Stan do the same.

In that moment the man's cell rang. ''Burley!" he answered. ''Yes... yes... where?... We're coming. Do not touch anything!" he ordered and closed his phone.

''What happened?''

''Dead sailor,'' he answered as he took his gun from the drawer and slipped it into his holster.

''Where?" Ziva asked as she raised up and took her weapon as well.

''USS Washington. Norfolk. Let's go!"

* * *

''Sit down, please,'' Brad said as soon as he, Gibbs and Ducky entered his office and the ME had closed the door.

Brad sat at his desk, Ducky took a seat in front of him, but Gibbs leaned against the window.

''How bad?'' Ducky asked.

''Bad enough,'' Brad answered and they both looked at Gibbs who had turned and was now staring out of the window. ''I won't lie to you. Despite all we've done, Tony's not getting better.''

''What happened earlier?'' Ducky asked since Gibbs clearly wasn't going to utter a word.

''Mucus in Tony's left lung restricted his breathing and, despite the BIPAP, his oxygen saturation dropped and his heart rate was erratic.''

''Do you think he could suffer brain damages?'' the older doctor asked as he and Brad heard Gibbs taking a deep breath.

''I don't know. Until Tony wakes up, we won't be able to determinate the effects of the lack oxygen.''

''What are you going to do now?'' Ducky asked.

''I performed a complete lung lavage with saline and antibiotics, and I increased the antibiotics and the antipyretics. This should ward off the pneumonia and make it easier for him to recover.''

''So the pneumonia will run its course?'' Ducky hopefully asked and looked at Gibbs who was still staring out of the window.

''Yes, but that is only half of the problem. Unfortunately, it was the easiest part.''

''What do you mean?!" Gibbs suddenly asked as he turned and stared at Brad, pain and anger clear in his eyes.

''Agent Gibbs,'' Brad began, not impressed by Gibbs' infamous glare at all. ''It's imperative that Tony wakes up, starts eating regularly and fighting to recover.''

''You're the doc. Make it happen!" Gibbs snapped.

''Yeah, I'm a doc, but I'm not God. I did all I could do. Now it's up to Tony to fight for his own life,'' Brad said as he stood up and walked towards Gibbs.

''Hasn't he fought and suffered enough?!" Gibbs angrily asked. ''Didn't he deserve some peace?!"

''Agent Gibbs, he...''

Gibbs didn't listened to Brad's explanation. In two strides, he stormed out of the office.

The former Marine felt as if he was choking in the small room. He felt powerless and lost, two feelings that didn't belong to the fearless Leroy Jethro Gibbs and he didn't know how to deal with them.

''Jethro!" Ducky called, but Gibbs was already near the stairs door and didn't even turned.

The two doctors looked at each other downhearted. ''I'm sorry, Bradley,'' Ducky whispered.

''No problem, doctor. I understand,'' the younger man smiled sadly and saw the other one nodding gratefully. ''But I wasn't exaggerating. Tony needs to wake up pretty soon. You've got to do something to help him to snap out of his catatonic state.''

''There is only one person that can do that,'' Ducky said and looked to the door that Gibbs had opened a few seconds before. The ME suddenly felt all of his years and so many more weighing on his shoulders.

''Gibbs,'' Brad slowly nodded.

''The quesion is: will he have the strength to do that?'' Ducky looked at Pitt with watery eyes.

''He must or...''

Both of the doctors shook their heads hopelessly.

TBC

* * *

What do you think? I hope you liked this chapter :)

See you pretty soon!


	42. Chapter 42

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thanks to my BR, USA123! You're so nice and kind with me :)

Thanks to all of you. I make me so happy!

Definitely looooonger than Ch. 41 LOL

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 42._

Abby, McGee and Palmer saw Gibbs storming through the hall and decided to take the stairs instead of the elevator.

''What the hell?" Tim whispered.

''Where's he going?" Palmer asked.

''Where's Ducky?" Abby asked and didn't wait any answer. The young woman headed determinedly to Dr. Pitt's office in search of an explanation.

''Ducky, what's going on? We saw Gibbs and...'' she began as she saw the ME and Brad coming out of the office.

''Oh, my dear. Come with me and I'll explain you everything,'' Ducky said and, after they thanked Dr. Pitt, he escorted her to the waiting room, where they found McGee and Palmer.

Ducky explained them everything Brad had told him and Gibbs, and why their former boss had reacted in that way.

''May I see Tony, please?'' Abby begged Ducky. ''I won't disturb him. I... I just need to hold his hand in mine. Please, Ducky.''

''Let me talk with the nurse first and see what she says,'' Ducky smiled and he went to the nurses desk.

A few minutes later he came back and with Abby, Tim and Jimmy, he went to Tony's room.

''The nurse said that you can stay with him and even talk to him,'' he told Abby. ''We think that Anthony can hear what we say but, in his state, he can't understand all that happens around him. Right now he needs rest so do not upset him. My dear, it means...''

''No tears. Promise,'' Abby softly smiled as she entered the dim lit room and saw Tony for the first time after his return from Mexico.

* * *

In meanwhile, in the hall, Tim's cell rang. ''Dammit!''

''What?'' asked Palmer.

''It's a Ziva's text. Dead sailor in Norfolk. I've got to go. Palmer, would you...''

''Go. I'll take care of Abby and I'll meet you in Norfolk with Dr. Mallard,'' Jimmy smiled as he saw McGee leaving and Ducky coming out of the room.

''Mr. Palmer, could you drive me to the Navy Yard, please?''

''I'm sorry, Dr. Mallard. McGee has just received a text from Ziva. There's a dead sailor in Norfolk waiting for us.''

''Oh, my dear,'' the older man sighed as he looked at his watch. _It's so late and Norfolk is more than three hours an half from here, and we've got to stop at the Navy Yard too. Let's hope Mr. Palmer does not get lost, or we will never arrive at our destination! _

''Well, I guess we need to go back to the Navy Yard collect all the necessary equipment and head to Norfolk to meet the future guest of our Autopsy,'' Ducky smiled as he headed to the elevator with his assistant.

''What about Abby?'' Jimmy asked entering the lift.

''Do not worry, Mr. Palmer. She will be fine with Anthony. They need some time alone.''

* * *

**USS George Washington - Norfolk, VA.**

''I've texted McGee. He is arriving,'' Ziva informed her Boss when he entered the ship storage, where Petty Officer Matthew Carmen lay dead in a puddle of blood.

''Good,'' Stan answered pensively.

''What did the Commander say?'' she asked as she knelt next to the victim.

''Not too much. Carmen was a good sailor. No records. He usually worked in the kitchen, but one of the storage-keepers, Petty Officer Josh Gore, broke his arm last week, so the Commander promised three days of leave to whom whould take his place for two days.''

''So maybe Petty Officer Carmen was killed instead of Gore,'' Ziva thoughtfully said. She leaned forward to better observe Carmen's face.

''Are you going to examine the corpse before Ducky gives you permission, Agent David?'' Stan teased her.

''No! Never! Ducky gets very angry when people disturb his guests."

''Yep. Do you that he threw a French policeman...''

''Into a lake. Yes, I know that,'' she chuckled. ''What can we do while we wait for McGee, Ducky and Palmer?"

''We're on a ship full of men that hadn't seen a woman for eight months and you're not bad,'' he grinned and saw Ziva 'killing' him with a stare. ''Use your exotic charm, David!"

''You remind me of Tony a lot... too much!'' she glared at him.

''What can I say? Gibbs likes charming SFAs,'' Stan winked.

Ziva rolled her eyes and asked, ''And what about you?"

''I'm Gibbs' SFA so I'll use my American charm on women,'' he smiled.

''Good luck!" Ziva mocked him and left the room before he could reply her.

_You're not bad, Stan... but you're not Very Special Anthony DiNozzo. His charm can make women and... men do whatever he wants. Oh, I miss him!_

* * *

**Bethesda Naval Hospital - Maryland.**

Gibbs was sitting on a bench in the hospital garden staring at the sky.

He had arrived a few minutes before and, after a short walk to clear his mind, the fatigue and the all of the emotions of the last few days had caught up with him and he had sat, exhausted.

His mind and heart were racing, overwhelmed by so many feelings and emotions that he didn't know what to do and what he felt anymore.

_I'm scared... that's what I am! Scared to death that... that once again I arrived late and people I love got hurt or... or die._

_Shannon, Kelly... Kate... Jenny... and now Tony._

_I should have gone to Mexico and have his six. I knew! I knew that Mike could do something stupid and put Tony in danger. I knew and I didn't do anything!_

_My guts screamed, but I didn't listen to it... why? Why the hell I didn't listen this time?!... Because I wanted to show Tony that I trust him... Da*n! Do I really need to show DiNozzo that I trust him? Why do I feel that I had to?_

_Because... after LeGrenouille, Jenny's death and Ziva's return from Somalia, I... we... our relationship changed... I'm such an a**hole! I resented Tony just because he was doing his job._

_I made him think that Jenny's death was his fault... Yeah, I told him that it was not, but I know Tony... he'll carry that burden for the rest of his life and I didn't make it easier._

_I should have talked to him. Make him open up to me... some beer and burbon, my boat and he'd start talking... but I was so shocked by all that had happened that, when Ziva rejoined the team, I thought that I had to protect her... and only her._

_Idiot! I forgot all Tony went through in all his years with NCIS... no, in his entire life!_

_Such a good Marine you are, Gibbs! _Gibbs shook his head._ I forgot to take care of my people... of my family!_

''Idiot!" he cursed sotto voce.

* * *

Abby entered Tony's room and, just like Gibbs, she was shocked by all the machines that surrounded her best friend's body.

She slowly approached the bed and a gasp escaped from her lips when she saw Tony's handsome face pale and covered with bruises and cut. His left eyes was swollen shut.

_No tears, Abby! _she admonished herself as she took a deep breath and sat down by the bed.

''Hi, handsome,'' she swallowed hard as she took Tony's right hands in hers. ''I'm so happy you're back home. I missed you so much though... th-though you left only ... some days ago.''

_Oh, God! It's so hard talking and not crying._

Abby reached out and with one hand she started folding Tony's hair. ''You're all sweaty and hot... oh! I mean... you're hot, but not as sexy... well, yes. You're sexy too but I meant that... oh!" she sighed frustrared. ''I'm rambling and... they told me to not upset you because you need rest... and I...'' Abby sniffed.

''They told me to not cry, but... but I... I can't,'' she whispered as she felt tears filling her eyes and rolling down her cheeks.

''When Gibbs told us that you had died in Mexico... I... I felt completely lost. You, my best friend... my big borther were gone and... and I couldn't see you and talk with you anymore,'' Abby wiped her eyes and smeared black mascara on her face. So now, she looked even paler than she usually was.

Abby raised Tony's hand to her mouth and tried to kiss it, but her studded bracelet and her spiky dog collar with almost desconnected one of the wires.

''Wait,'' she whispered and stood up. She took off all of her weird jewelery and put them on the nightstand, then she resumed her posistion and finally kissed Tony's fingers.

''I miss to hug you... I-I miss to feel your strong arms squeezing me... Tony,... uhm...'' she took a deep breath. ''You need to wake up or... or our entire world will go away with you... you're the glue that keep us together.''

She looked at him with a sad smile. ''You've been there for all us... always... every time we had a rough time, we... we knew that you were there. Maybe, at first, we didn't want to have you around and... and we pushed you away... but your... your good heart didn't give up. Never!'' Abby swallowed hard trying to stop the tears. ''Just think about how many time you've comforted me, or you've saved Kate, McGee and Ziva from Gibbs' fury,'' she chuckled.

Suddenly the BI-PAP alarm went off. ''Oh, God! Tony! Tony! Did I hurt you?! Tony!" Abby shouted standing up. Her chair collapsed loudly behind her.

A nurse rushed into the room and asked, ''What happened?''

''I-I don't know. I was talking to him and... and that thing started alarming. Oh, God! Did I upset him? Did I hurt him?" Abby was panicking.

The nurse shut the alarm off and checked all Tony's parameters. ''So? Did I hurt him? They told me to not cry, but... but I-I couldn't. I miss him so much and...''

The nurse was now in front of her and she was softly smiling. The older woman took Abby's face in her hands and said, ''Calm down or I'll need to sedate you, honey. You didn't hurt him. Your friend is fine.''

''A-Are you sure?'' Abby whispered as the nurse let her face go, so she could look at Tony. ''I don't understand,'' she sighed and took Tony's hand in her again.

''He took a deep breath on his own,'' the nurse explained. ''Whatever you were saying had a positive effect on him. His hearbeat is back to normal and his respiration is getting better.''

Abby looked at the woman and shyly asked, ''So I did good? I mean, I...''

''Yes, you did good. Now, sit down,'' the woman added as she helped Abby to seat next Tony's bed. ''And keep talking to him.''

Abby sat down and the woman squeezed her shoulder and whispered to her ear, ''I think he's coming back, but he needs your help.''

Abby gratefully smiled to the sweet woman, then she turned to Tony and said, ''Do not do it again, Tony! You almost gave me a hear attack!"

She cupped his cheek in one of her hands and added, ''But if this is a sign that you're coming back... well, I guess I can forgive you," Abby took a deep breath.

''You've saved all of us, at least once... n-now... now let us help you to come back. Tony let us save you... trust me, Tony. Trust Gibbs,'' her voice broke. ''He's desperate... I've never seen him like this. Never... that Marine loves you as a dad loves his son, though he'll never admit that... we n-need you,'' she sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

* * *

_I can breathe again... Oh, God! I hate all of this!... What's on my mouth? It... it hurts!... I can breathe without help... I don't want this stuff on my mouth... what's it?... Someone is talking... I-I know this voice... no! Do not touch my head... you hurt me... no... no... it doesn't hurt... it's soft... it's sweet... familiar..._

''You're all sweaty and hot... oh! I mean... you're hot, but not as sexy... well, yes. You're sexy too but I meant that...''

_Abby? Abby is h-here? No... it's n-not possible! _

"Oh! I'm rambling and... they told me to not upset you because you need rest... and I...'' Abby sniffed.

_Definitely Abby!_

''When Gibbs told us that you had died in Mexico... I... I felt completely lost.''

_I'm alive, Abs... I'm here and... I-I want to talk with you, but... it's... I don't know how... Help me, Abby!_

''You've been there for all us... always.''

_I'm still... still here... why you d-don't see it?! I want... I want to c-come back... No, Abs... do not cry... I-I'm here!_

Tony took a breath on his own and he heard an alarm sheirking and a woman shouting.

_I n-need you to know that I-I'm here... Abby, I want... I want to come back..._

''You've saved all of us, at least once... n-now... now let us help you to come back. Tony let us save you.''

_Yes... I trust you._

Tony's breath evened out and he fell asleep as he heard Abby humming a sweet song.

* * *

Abby squeezed Tony's hand and she felt him squeezing back.

''So it's true? You can hear me,'' Abby smiled. ''I'm here,'' she whispered caressing his cheek. ''You've had enough excitement for your first night back in DC. Now you need to rest. I won't go anywhere.''

She lowered the bed bar. ''Don't worry. I won't let you fall down,'' Abby chuckled as she lay her head on Tony's arm and started humming an old lullaby that her mom used to sign for her.

Dr. Brad Pitt was observing this scene from the doorway, when he heard Gibbs asking from behind him, ''What are you doing?''

''Watching Tony really sleeping for the first time since his return, thanks to Abby.''

Gibbs looked at Tony and Abby and soft smile appeared on his face.

TBC

* * *

What do you think? I hope you liked this chapter :)

See you pretty soon!


	43. Chapter 43

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

I'm sorry I couldn't answer to all of your reviews, but RL was a bit busy. Thank you so much for the reviews and pm, alerts and favorites too. You make me sooooo happy!

Thanks to my BR, USA123. You rock, girl!

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 43._

**Norfolk Naval Base.**

Since it was almost midnight, there wasn't much traffic on the way to Norfolk and luckily Palmer didn't get lost this time, so he and Ducky arrived on the crime scene four and half hours after Ziva's text to McGee.

Dr. Mallard and his assistant entered the ship's storage and started examining the corpse. Soon Stan, McGee (who had arrived a few minutes earlier) and Ziva joined them.

''What do you think, Ducky?'' asked Agent Burley.

''I would say that our poor lad died from a heavy blow to his head that provoked a skull fracture and a massive blood loss.''

''Did he die immediately?'' asked Ziva.

''It could be, but from my experience I would say it took him a few minutes to leave this world.''

''Anything else, Ducky?'' asked McGee.

''There is a bruise on his neck. Mr. Palmer show them, please,'' the ME instructed and Jimmy pointed to a purple circle bruise on the victim's throat.

''Weird shape,'' Tim observed thoughtfully.

''Indeed, Timothy,'' Ducky agreed.

''Maybe Abby'll be able to determine what it is,'' said Stan.

''Mr. Palmer, we need to bring our Petty Officer home and leave them to search the crime scene,'' Ducky said as he stood up.

''I'll take the stretcher,'' his assistant answered as he headed to the door.

''I'll help you,'' McGee followed him.

''I don't like this,'' Stan sighed.

''Death can hit you in every moment, my dear lad,'' Ducky patted the team leader's shoulder.

''Yeah, I know that. But...''

''But?" Ducky looked at him.

''We're investigating a terror attack on the Navy. Intel says that the attack could happen on a ship and now we've a clear murder. I don't like it.''

''Two murders,'' Ziva surprised them.

''What?!" Stan asked, his eyes widening.

''Not two murders... I meant two dead.''

''Ziva, explain?''

''I used my exotic charm,'' she grinned at her boss. ''And one of the officers...'' she checked her notes. ''Lieutenant Joseph Natale said that, two weeks ago, a Petty Officer died on USS Roosevelt.''

''Why we didn't know anything about it?'' Stan asked a bit angry as they saw McGee and Palmer pushing a stretcher into the storage.

''Because it was ruled as an accident by the NCIS Base Agent.''

''Probies!" Stan snorted as he saw McGee looking at him and smirking. _Yep, I also was a green probie here in Norfolk, when Gibbs scared me to death and Tony teased me for the first time._

"I'm going to talk with this probie,'' Stan said. ''Ziva, bag and tag. McGee photos and prints,'' he ordered as he followed Ducky and Palmer out of the storage.

''Stan!" Ziva called him back.

''Problems, David?"

"This is a big storage and we are only two,'' she whined.

''So?" Stan glared at her as he saw McGee grinning.

''It will take hours to bag, tag, take photos and prints.''

''So?" Stan repeated.

''We need help or we will never go home,'' Ziva pouted.

''Oh, I forgot,'' Stan grinned.

''What?" she asked.

''Sketches too,'' he ordered as he left the storage.

Ziva looked at McGee and said, ''He learned from Gibbs.''

''Yep,'' Tim nodded as he started taking pictures of the crime scene. _I'm wondering what's going on in Bethesda and how Tony's doing._

**Bethesda Naval Hospital.**

Gibbs was still standing in the doorway of Tony's room with Brad.

"Why don't you go home, Gibbs?" the doctor asked and saw the older man shaking his head. "They're both sleeping and you need rest too. When was the last time you really slept?"

Gibbs glared at him and the doctor added, "As I thought. Go home, Gibbs. Take a shower, eat something and sleep for a few hours. Then come back here and take Abby's place. Tony needs your help and you can't help him if you're exhausted.''

The former Marine knew that Dr. Pitt was right, but he didn't want to leave Tony. He wanted to be with his boy all the time and be sure that he was safe and fine.

Gibbs looked at Abby. She was smiling peacefully for the first time since he had told his team that Tony had died in Mexico. It had been so hard for all of them, but Abby had been really desperate. She had looked if someone had ripped her heart from her chest.

But now Abby was happy again. Her best friend was home and, with some time, he'd be as good as new again.

''I'll let them sleep and, if Tony's respiration keeps improving, I'll exchange the BI-PAP for the cannula,'' Brad words took Gibbs back to reality.

''Really?'' he asked surprised and saw the doctor nodding. Gibbs turned his gaze to Tony again and asked, ''Do you think he'll recover completely?"

''Yes. Tony'll need lots of rest and really good care, but he'll be fine,'' he smiled.

''And psychologically?" Gibbs asked looking at the doctor.

''That will be harder than anything he's been through in his entire life,'' Brad sighed. ''I don't know what they did to him in Mexico, but I've seen his body, Gibbs... and...'' he swallowed hard. ''I'm surprised he's still alive.''

Gibbs just nodded and sadly looked at Tony. ''Gibbs,'' Brad squeezed his shoulder and made the older man turn toward him. ''Tony wants to live. He wants to get back to all of you. Only his willpower and his desire to live allowed him to survive.''

''What can I do?'' Gibbs whispered.

''Love him. Take care of him. Show Tony what he means to you. Abby did it and it worked, now it's your turn.''

The former team leader looked at Tony and Brad whispered to his ear, ''Bring your boy back,'' then he left.

Gibbs took a deep breath and nodded. _I brought your body home... now I need to bring your soul back. I just hope... Tony, trust me, please!_

* * *

Gibbs arrived home in a few minutes and followed Brad's advice. He took a shower, ate two sandwiches, drank some coffee and finally sat down on his beloved couch.

He put on the alarm clock and was asleep before his head touched the pillow.

Four hours later, the sky was beginning to brighten when the alarm clock went off and Gibbs woke up from the deepest nap he had had in years.

Gibbs shaved, had a hearty breakfast and was on his way to Bethesda Naval Hospital in no time.

He felt full of energy. Today Gibbs had the most important mission of his life: 'Bring Tony Back'.

_You're mine, DiNozzo and I won't leave you alone until you snap out of that da*n catatonic state. Then I'll show you what means to have a family that loves and takes care of you._

TBC

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think.

More to come pretty soon! Pinky promise :)


	44. Chapter 44

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thank you so much for all reviews, pm, alerts and favorites.

Thanks to my BR, USA123. You're amazing!

Maybe you'd need some Kleenex ;)

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 44._

When Gibbs arrived at the hospital, he found Tony alone so he asked a nurse where Abby was and she told him that the nice Goth had received a call in the middle of the night and had reluctantly left.

''Did she tell you who called her?" Gibbs asked.

''She said that she had to go back to work,'' the lady answered and added, ''She looked exhausted and she didn't want to leave Agent DiNozzo alone. She really loves him.''

Gibbs nodded smiling softly. ''May I see him?''

''Of course, but within an hour you'll need to leave for a while.''

''Why?'' he asked worried.

''Don't worry. We just need to give him a sponge bath and change his bandages,'' she reassured him.

* * *

Gibbs entered the room and closed the door behind him. He slowly approached Tony's bed and sat down on the chair that Abby had left a few hours before.

The curtains were opened and pink and yellow light of dawn gave the room a peaceful look. The only noise he could hear was Tony's heartbeat.

Gone were the BI-PAP machine and its annoying and stuffy sound. A nasal cannula was helping Tony to breathe now.

The man in the bed was clearly still feverish and the bruises on his faces were painful to see, but he looked more relaxed and rested.

''So you spent the night with Abby, huh?'' Gibbs teased Tony, hoping to hear one of his SFA famous jokes. ''I should be mad at you for breaking rule #12,'' Gibbs tried to joke, but the lump in his throat killed any fun.

Gibbs sighed heavily as he tried to keep talking. _You're a functional mute, boss!_ Tony's cocky smile appeared in his my mind. ''Yeah, I don't talk a lot... unless I need to do it,'' he sighed. ''And now I really need to do it... for... for you.''

A knock on the door let him know that it was Tony's bath time and he needed to leave, so he stood up. Before exiting he said, ''I go for a coffee, but I'll be back pretty soon. Do not go anywhere and do not do anything stupid, DiNozzo.''

The nurses behind him smiled as they saw the grey-haired man leaving the room.

**Navy Yard.**

''Well, Mr. Palmer, I think our job is done. You can put our guest to sleep and then you can get some sleep too,'' Ducky said as he sat down at his desk and started completing the Autopsy report.

''Sure, Dr. Mallard,'' Jimmy answered and loaded the corpse on a stretcher and pushed it into one of the Autopsy drawers.

''Before leaving could you bring those blood samples to Abigail, please,'' the older ME asked from his desk.

''Sure and... uhm... Dr. Mallard... I mean,''

''Yes, Mr. Palmer. Is something bothering you?'' Ducky asked as he looked at his assistant.

''Yes... I mean, no... I mean...'' Jimmy stuttered.

''Mr. Palmer?'' Ducky looked him puzzled.

Jimmy took a deep breath and finally said, ''I think you should get some sleep too.''

Ducky softly smiled and nodded. ''I really appreciate your concern, Mr. Palmer, and I assure you, after I've completed this report and I've checked on Anthony, I'll go home. I'm planning to have a hot cup of Earl Grey Tea with some muffins and a long restful sleep.''

''Good,'' Jimmy smiled satisfied. ''See you, Dr. Mallard,'' Jimmy added and left the Autopsy.

''See you later, Mr. Palmer,'' Ducky answered. _You are such a caring man and a good friend, my dear lad. Oneday you will be a great ME that really cares about his guests._

**Bethesda Naval Hospital.**

Gibbs was already back at Tony's side talking to him. He was telling Tony what he was planning for them after the doctors released Tony from the hospital.

The older man wanted to bring Tony somewhere peaceful and far away from the town and its noises. He wanted to help Tony to get his strength and confidence back.

The door was open, but Gibbs had his back to it so he didn't see Ducky stopping in the doorway listening to him.

''I know that all those bastards did to you hurt you deeply... and not only physically. I can't even imagine what you went through... what... what you suffered,'' Gibbs swallowed hard, trying to control the tears that were filling his eyes.

_No! I won't cry! I can't cry! I've got to be strong for him. Tony doesn't need to hear me crying like a baby._

''I guess that, in this moment, I'm the last person you want by your side... I left you alone... I-I should have ordered you to come back,'' Gibbs chuckled. ''But I guess, you wouldn't listen to me. When... when it comes to your own safety, you're... you're... I can't find the right word.''

Gibbs stopped and looked at his SFA waiting for one of his cocky answers, but eventually Tony didn't utter a word. His eyes were still closed and he hadn't given any sign that he could hear what his mentor was telling him.

''Reckless... you're reckless. It's always scared me ever since we met. Your safety is the last thing you think about and... it's... Tony, this is wrong. Completely wrong!" Gibbs sounded angry as he raised his voice and startled Ducky behind him.

* * *

''Reckless... you're reckless... Tony, this is wrong. Completely wrong!"

_Gibbs... is mad at me... he... I knew that he... he was angry... that's w-why he... he didn't c-come... he left me there be-because I-I... screwed u-up... I wanted to... to m-make you proud of... of me, but... my... my f-father was right... I'm worthless... I-I'm useless._

Tony took a deep breath and felt a sharp pain in his chest.

* * *

''Tony?! Tony, can you hear me?'' Gibbs stood up as soon as he heard Tony taking a deep breath.

The older man started folding Tony's hair and he saw some tears falling down from Tony's eyes.

''Tony, don't cry... I'm not mad,'' Gibbs shook his head. ''I'm not mad to you. I'm just... I'm scared that you'll never come back. When they told us that y-you... you had died in Mexico... I felt the same pain I felt when Shannon and Kelly died... I was losing my family again.'' Tears were freely rolling down on Gibbs' cheeks, but he didn't care.

Ducky's heart broke at the sound of his friend's cracked voice.

''Yes, you're reckless, but... but only because you love people so much that you never think about yourself... I should have come to Mexico and had... had your six as... as you always had mine. I should have protected you, but I wanted to show you that... Tony, I trust you... you're the best agent I've ever work with, but you're much more... you're one of the best people I-I've ever met.''

Gibbs cupped Tony's cheek in his hand and whispered to his ear, ''I'm so proud of you, son.'' He heard Tony sighing and understood that his 'son' had heard everything he had said.

Tony was coming back and 'the functional mute' now knew that talking so much had been the right thing to do. Gibbs was telling Tony what he should have said many years ago.

There was only another thing that the former Marine needed to say. The most important.

* * *

''I'm not mad at you... you had died... I was losing my family again.''

_He... he's c-crying... I always h-hurt people who... who love m-me... I'm not...not your family... I-I'm alone and... will... will al-always be._

''I should have protected you... Tony, I trust you... you're one of the best people I-I've ever met.''

_No... I'm... I'm good for n-nothing... I m-make you c-cry... Gibbs n-never... cries. It's just... my fault... worthless._

Tony felt a calloused hand touching his cheek. He knew those hands and he leaned into that rough but gentle touch.

''I'm so proud of you, son.''

Tony sighed as he remembered the first time Gibbs had patted his cheek. Danny, his partner at Baltimore PD, had betrayed him. Tony had left Baltimore, his job and was doubting his ability to be a good cop.

_"Maybe being a cop isn't for me,'' Tony said, walking side by side with Gibbs along an NCIS hallway when Gibbs' first head slap landed on his nape. "Did you just physically assault me?" Tony had asked surprised and shocked._

_"I don't have a lot of rules. But Rule #5 is 'You don't waste good'. You're good." Gibbs had growled._

_"Thanks. Don't make a habit of that." Tony had admonished the NCIS Agent._

_Gibbs had patted Tony's cheek and pointed over his shoulder._

Twelve weeks later, Homicide Detective Anthony D. DiNozzo had become Special Agent Anthony D. DiNozzo, the SFA of the fearless, feared and legendary Leroy Jethro Gibbs and the second in command of NCIS MCRT, at NCIS HQ in DC.

* * *

Gibbs sat down on Tony's bed, mindful of Tony's injures and all the wires and machine that were attached to his body.

Still keeping Tony right hand in his, the older man started talking again as Ducky slowly approached the bed unnoticed.

''You've been my SFA for more than nine years and... I should have told... no! I should have showed you that I trust you not only on the job. You... you make me proud every day,'' Gibbs said, his voice thick with emotion. ''I... I know that you've a father, but... but,'' he swallowed hard, ''if you'd be my son, I'd... I...''

Gibbs was overwhelmed by all the emotions that went through his heart. He knew what he wanted to say, but it was so hard. When he had thought that he had lost Tony forever, Gibbs had realized that his second in command was as important to him as Shannon and Kelly. He had understood that Tony was part of his family, actually his only family, along with his father.

He took a deep breath and tried again. ''I'm sure that Shannon would have been proud to have you as our son and... and... Kelly would have adored her... big brother... I'd have entrusted my girls to you because... because I knew that they'd have been safe.''

* * *

''Our son... big brother... I'd have entrusted my girls to you because... because I knew that they'd have been safe.''

_Your girls?... But I'm good for nothing... Gibbs thinks... he t-thinks I could protect his family... he... he trusts m-me... he's not mad... he wants me back, b-because he... he believes in m-me... Gibbs trusts me and... cares... he didn't leave me in Mexico... he ca-came and saved me because he... loves me... Gibbs wants me back... Gibbs... b-boss... don't cry... please... Help me to come back!_

* * *

Gibbs closed his eyes and sighed. He was getting too emotional and needed to collect himself. He didn't want to upset Tony and set back his progress.

Ducky was standing behind Gibbs at the foot of the bed. The old ME knew that Gibbs hated to get so emotional, but he also knew that his friend needed to say all of those things and that Anthony needed to hear them.

The Scottish man saw Gibbs closing his eyes and taking some deep breath. His gaze rose and he looked at the younger man in the bed. _Oh, my dear Lord!_

''Jethro,'' Ducky whispered making Gibbs turn. ''Look,'' he added as he nodded with his head to indicate Tony.

Gibbs turned to his surrogate son.

Tony was looking directly at him.

''Tony?'' Gibbs' voice cracked with emotion.

Tony looked at Gibbs for a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, his eyes unreadable.

''Tony, do you know who I am?'' Gibbs asked, holding his breath, and saw Tony nodding imperceptibly. He still looked confused. His mouth opened and closed as he tried to speak, but no sound came forth.

''Do not try to speak. You stayed silent for so many days that...'' Gibbs began to say as he gently squeezed Tony's hand.

''Home?'' Tony whispered barely audible.

''Yes,'' Gibbs smiled through the tears. ''You're home, Tony.''

''Th-Thank y-you,'' Tony sighed and he saw Gibbs rise up, lean forward and kiss his forehead.

''You're safe, son,'' Gibbs whispered only for Tony. A sob escaped from Tony's mouth as the younger man squeezed Gibbs' hand and started crying silently.

Mindful of all Tony's injures and the wires attached to his body, Gibbs gently raised him up and hugged him tightly. He rocked Tony slowly and let him cry.

''You're safe now and I'll protect you. We... we'll get through this together, Tony. I won't leave you alone anymore,'' Gibbs kept whispering and he felt Tony cling more tightly to his shirt.

Ducky had taken off his glasses and was wiping his eyes as a relieved smile appeared on his face.

In the doorway, another man was wiping his eyes as a sweet smile lit up his face.

TBC

* * *

Please review and let me know what you think.

This is not the end of the story. More to come!


	45. Author's Note

**Author Note**

I need to apologize to all of you.

In the last chapter (44) I wrote this sentence _''I know you've become a father''. _This is a mistake and unfortunately I didn't see it until some of you asked me about it on reviews and pm.

The right sentence is _''I know that you have a father.''_

I've reposted the chapter with the correction.

Sorry again and thanks for all of your support.

More soon!

AlexDN


	46. Chapter 46

NB: I don't own nothing of NCIS :(

Thank you so much, usa123! Your help is so precious to me :)

Thanks for all of your amazing support, my readers. Grazie mille!

**_''Regrets and...''_**

_Chapter 45_

Gibbs was still holding Tony in his arms and rocking him gently when he heard the younger man whispering inaudibly through his cries.

''What did you say, Tony? I didn't understand,'' Gibbs whispered.

''I'm so... s-sorry,'' Tony sobbed .

''You've nothing to be sorry. You risked your life to save Leyla, Amira and even Rose... and you did a da*n good job, DiNozzo. They're all safe and sound here in US,'' Gibbs tried to reassure his charge.

''I sh-should have... saved them earlier... I should get b-back home without your help... I s-screwed up... You shouldn't have come back to save m-me,'' he said as he felt his strength leaving him and he clung more tightly to Gibbs.

''Bullsh*t! Tony, you made me proud in Mexico and...''

''No, I... disappointed y-you,'' Tony choked out. He felt one of Gibbs' hands leaving his back and, after a few seconds, a chuckle escaped from his chapped lips.

''What?'' Gibbs asked when he heard that unexpected sound.

''You can't... head slap me,'' Tony answered and Gibbs could hear a smile in his words.

''Nope, but... I'll save it for when you're better,'' Gibbs smirked, feeling the old banter returning.

''Not nice, Boss,'' Tony murmured and sniffled.

Gibbs felt Tony's body relax in his grip so he laid DiNozzo down on the bed and stared in his SFA's eye - Tony's left eye was swollen shut, but the right one was staring back at Gibbs through unshed tears.

''Welcome back, Tony,'' Gibbs smiled softly.

''Thank you, boss,'' Tony swallowed hard. ''How...b-bad?'' Tony asked as his eye widened. ''Why am I stut-tering?'' he was starting to panic.

Gibbs looked at him helplessly. He had noticed Tony's difficulty speaking too and had hoped his former SFA was too exhausted and confused to realize it.

Ducky knew it was time to intervene before Tony had a panic attack and Gibbs became

sick because he couldn't help his friend. ''It's normal, my dear lad,'' the old ME assured Tony as he walked over and patted his shoulder.

Tony looked at him with one pleading eye. ''You've been in a semi-catatonic state for a few days so some speech difficulties are to be expected. With some practice, they will resolve in a few days,'' Ducky promised and saw Tony nod in relief. ''Welcome back, Anthony.''

''Thank y-you, Duck,'' Tony choked and started coughing.

''Jethro! Help me raise his head!" Ducky ordered.

Gibbs was at Tony's side in a second and he and Ducky helped Tony to sit up. ''Should we pound on his back?'' Gibbs asked, referring to the technique they had employed while Tony was fighting the plague.

''We can't. His back is in such bad shape that we'd hurt him even more,'' the doctor answered as they heard Tony coughing and struggling to take deep breaths.

Tony felt like he was choking and was having trouble drawing into his lungs. ''I-I c-can... ca-can't breathe... h-hurtsss... it hu-hurt,'' he tried to say as he bent over and coughed even harder. The pain in his cracked ribs was unbearable and tears were trickling freely out of his eyes.

''Tony, you have to calm down and take deep breaths,'' Gibbs tried to help him but Tony just shook his head and kept coughing.

DiNozzo suddenly rose up in an attempt to take a deep breath and, in that moment, he saw the other man in the doorway. The man was staring at the scene in front of him with fearful eyes.

Tony, being Tony, didn't want to hurt anyone he cared about so he choked out, ''Gib-bs...'' before a harsh coughing fit stopped any further words.

''Yes, Tony,'' his former boss answered but he saw Tony shaking his head and looking at the door. Gibbs turned to the door and whispered, ''Dad?''

''Mr. Gibbs,'' Ducky greeted him.

''You didn't call me, Leroy,'' Jack scolded. ''So I called NCIS and they told me that Tony was back. I needed to be sure everyone was fine, but it seems that someone is not so fine after all,'' he added as he headed to the bed and pushed the call button.

They heard Tony start retching. Gibbs and Ducky looked at each other helplessly - they couldn't let Tony continue or he'd run the risk offurther injuring his ribs by bending over.

Luckily Jack was already standing in front of Tony with a basin in his hands. ''Don't worry, son. It'll be over soon. Spit out all that cr*p and you'll be fine,'' the older Gibbs encouraged Tony.

Tony did as Jack had told him and, after a few minutes, he spat out the mucus that constricted his lungs and was able to breathe again. ''Thank... y-you,'' he choked out, his words barely audible, as Gibbs and Ducky laid him down and a nurse entered the room.

She put an oxygen mask on Tony's mouth then she turned to Gibbs, Ducky and Jack. ''Please, could you wait outside? I need to clean Tony up and change his bandages.''

''No... don't le-leave,'' Tony pleaded.

Gibbs was already at the doorway, but he quickly walked back to Tony and whispered in his ear, ''I'll be back as soon as she's done her job. Use your charm and she'll let me stay the next time.''

The older man rose up and saw a small smile on Tony's face. ''On... it,'' Tony nodded.

''I'm going to call the others,'' Gibbs announced heading to the door.

''Oh, my Lord! Abigail will be here in no time,'' Ducky sighed with a smile before closing the door.

* * *

Ducky was right. As soon as Gibbs had called Abby, she had called the entire team and they had run to the hospital, completely forgetting about their other jobs.

''Why is it taking so long, Gibbs?'' Abby asked for the fourth time in less than ten minutes.

Ziva saw the dangerous glare that Gibbs shot the lab analyst. ''Abby, I think we should buy something for Tony. A welcome back present, yes?'' she tried to save her friend.

''Good idea, Ziva,'' Ducky agreed. ''Why don't you go to the gift shop downstairs and find something that could cheer our Anthony up?''

''Come on!'' Ziva literally dragged Abby to the elevator before the woman could utter a word.

''Thank you,'' Gibbs sighed looking at Ducky. ''Sometimes Abby is...''

''Abby," McGee chuckled. ''She should thank Ziva,'' he added.

''Why?'' Gibbs asked.

''I thought you were going to kill her!" Tim grinned.

''McGee!" Gibbs glared.

''He's right, Jethro,'' his father said from his chair, just outside Tony's room.

''I would never...'' Gibbs started but stopped when the nurse opened the door to Tony's room. ''Finally!"

''How is he?'' Ducky asked.

''He's resting, so do not disturb him,'' she answered in a tone that would have scared a team of Navy SEALS.

''May we see him, please?'' Tim asked with a sweet smile and his best "puppy dog" eyes.

The young nurse blushed. ''Yes, but do not make a sound and do not remove his mask. He needs to rest,'' she said gently.

''Thank you,'' Tim responded and they all entered the room.

''Good job, McGee,'' Gibbs whispered in his ear.

''I learnt from the best,'' Tim whispered back. Gibbs stared at him with a puzzled look so Tim added, ''DiNozzo style, Boss. Sweet smile, puppy dog eyes, a gentle tone and you can conquer any woman.'' Tim grinned and saw Gibbs nodding in agreement.

Meanwhile, Abby and Ziva were returning from their shopping spree with the perfect gift for Tony: a Ferrari blanket to keep him warm and the latest James Bond movie, full of previously unreleased special features to keep him from being bored during his long hospital stay. They knew too well that a bored DiNozzo is an unbearable and dangerous Tony.

* * *

''Where the hell are McGee and David?!'' Stan Burley barked as he entered the bullpen and made his Probie jump in his chair.

''I... I... I don't know, sir," Agent Kennedy answered.

"Don't call me sir! I work for a living!"

"Y-yes, s-si... I mean... Boss," the younger man whispered and dried his wet hands on his pants. "They received a call and they left about twenty minutes ago, si... Boss,"

''Who called them?" Stan asked.

"Abby... and when they left, they were smiling,"

"What did they tell you?"

"Nothing... I only heard that they were talking about a certain Tony,"

"Tony? They were talking about Tony and smiling?!" Burley asked as he stared Kennedy and saw him nodding. "Why didn't you tell me?!"

"I thought that... I mean, I don't know who this Tony is and..."

"You don't know? You don't know?!" Stand asked raising his voice. "Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. Gibbs' SFA before he left... actually the reason why Gibbs left NCIS," he thoughtfully added. "DiNozzo's one of the best but he's also one of the most annoying and most unconventional

agents NCIS has ever had. There's only one man better than him in this agency."

"Who?" John asked hesitantly.

"Gibbs," Stan seriously answered as he opened his cell and called his former boss.

* * *

"He's so pale," whispered Abby as she stared at Tony. She was standing by his right side.

"What about this eye? It's... I cannot find the right word," Ziva whispered in response from the other side of the bed.

"Spectacular?" McGee suggested from the foot of the bed.

"Timmy! How can you joke about this?!" Abby scolded him.

"I mean that..."

"He's right, Abby," Jack said from the chair next to Ziva. "That eye's painfully spectacular."

"We should lower our voices," Palmer, who was standing next to Ducky, suggested.

"Anthony needs to rest. We all should let him sleep," whispered Ducky, from his position between Tim and Jimmy. The older man was glad to see that the nurse had removed the oxygen mask and that, in its place there was a nasal cannula now.

"He's not sleeping," Gibbs startled them all from the window where he was leaning against the sill. "Are you, Tony?" he grinned.

They all saw a cocky smile appear on Tony's face. "Boss! Why do you always ruin the f-fun?!" Tony pouted.

He opened his eye and saw his friends smiling at him. "Hi," he whispered, suddenly overwhelmed by their happy and worried faces.

"Welcome back, Tony," Tim said with tears in his eyes. "We..."

"We missed you so much," Abby helped him. "Oh, Tony," she leaned forward and gently hugged him. "I couldn't live without my big brother," she whispered in his ear and Tony felt her tears wetting his neck.

"I couldn't leave you," he whispered back. "I l-love you, Abs," he choked and coughed.

"Did I hurt you?!" Abby quickly released him and looked at him with great concern.

"Do you need to sit up?" Palmer asked.

"No," Tony swallowed hard. "I'm fine... may I have some..."

"Here, drink some water," Gibbs gently ordered him.

"Thanks, Boss. You always know what I-I'm thinkin'," Tony stated and drank some water from the cup that Gibbs was holding for him.

"Sometimes I wish I wouldn't," Gibbs smirked as he put the cup on the nightstand.

"Why?!" Ziva asked in surprise.

"Because DiNozzo's way of thinking can be scary sometimes," Gibbs teased his former SFA and made them laugh.

Gibbs' cell rang so he exited the room.

"So you were listening to us, huh?" Palmer asked and saw Tony nodding and smiling.

"Were you having fun, Tony?" Ziva glared at him good-naturedly and he nodded again.

"You! You!" she scolded him and raised her hand to point a finger to him, though her eyes were smiling.

"I'm seriously wounded. You can't hit me, David," Tony joked and winked at her but he didn't expect to see the scared and sad look Ziva gave him.

Tony frowned for a split second so no one noticed except Ziva who shook her head and shoved her hands in her pockets.

"McGee! Ziva! Burley wants you two back to NCIS ASAP," Gibbs informed the younger agents as he entered the room. "DiNozzo, Stan sends you his best wishes," he added.

"We better go," McGee said. "We'll be back soon, Tony," he pledged as he headed to the door, followed by a very silent Ziva.

"We all better go so Tony can rest," Gibbs said.

They all said goodbye and promised Tony to come back soon to keep him company.

Despite the pain that he was starting to feel in his entire body, Tony smiled at all of them but that brief look that he had exchanged with Ziva was still bothering him.

"Ziva?"

"Yes?" she stopped in the doorway and turned to face him.

"You have a minute?" he asked seriously.

"Stan wants me..." she tried to say.

"I'm sure that McGee can cover for you. It won't take so long," DNozzo interrupted her. "Right, McGee?"

"Sure," Tim nodded next to Ziva. "I'm sure Stan will understand," he patted her once on the shoulder before he left the room.

Ziva looked at Tony but didn't move from the doorway. She knew they needed to talk yet the former Mossad Officer hoped she would have had more time to think about what she wanted to say.

"Close the door, please," Tony said calmly.

She did as he asked and headed to Tony's bed. "Sit down," he said as he patted the mattress.

Ziva perched on the edge of the bed, mindful of Tony's injures and all the wires and machines that were attached to his body. She looked at him but didn't see the anger or hate she was expecting.

Tony's face was unreadable under all the bruises; Ziva had always hated this about her teammate. Only Gibbs understood what Tony was thinking and, at the beginning of her assignment to NCIS, it had really bothered and annoyed her. The former Mossad Officer had tried every technique she knew to get into DiNozzo's head, but she had always failed. Both the agent and the man remained a mystery for her.

After all that had happened between them during Rivkin debacle and their trip to Tel Aviv, Ziva had understood only one thing: Abby was right.

Tony can be goofy and funny on the outside but, on the inside, he's solid rock. Loyalty, honesty and trust were the bases of his life and nothing and no one could make him change his mind. Not even tears in a woman's eyes.

So now Ziva was looking at Tony, determined to not cry. _I need to tell you what I feel and I need to hear what you think of me... I just hope this won't ruin our relationship forever because I need you in my life._

"We need to talk," Tony's whisper stopped her musings.

Ziva nodded as she took a deep breath.

"So talk," Tony said and looked straight into her eyes.

TBC

* * *

Sorry for the delay, but this chapter decided to take a turn that I didn't plan, so it took me a bit longer to write it down.

Let me know what you think, please. Thank you :)


	47. Chapter 47

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thanks for you support, guys! You're amazing!

A special thanks to my super-fast BR, usa123 :)

*Warning*: if you're a Ziva's fan, you won't like this chapter.

_**''Regrets and...''**_

_Chapter 46._

"McGee, where's Ziva?" Gibbs asked as he saw the younger man exiting the elevator and approaching the hospital door.

"Tony asked her to stay because they needed to talk."

"About what?" the former Marine asked frowning. He didn't know why, but his gut was churning.

Tim just shook his head so Gibbs added, "I don't like it,"

"Tony looked pretty serious and he insisted they needed to talk."

"How was Ziva?"

"I don't know," Tim shook his head. "She looked... scared."

"I don't like it," Gibbs repeated.

"Me either," McGee whispered.

"I'm going back to DiNozzo," Gibbs stated as he headed back to the elevator.

"Boss... I mean, Gibbs. They wanted to be alone," Tim tried to stop the older man.

"I'll be in the waiting room just in case Tony needs a break. They won't know I'm there, McGee," Gibbs smirked as he entered the elevator and pushed the button.

_Go figure! Tony'll know you're there as soon as you exit the elevator._

Tim sighed and shook his head as he headed to the parking lot and felt his gut churning as well.

* * *

A few minutes had passed but Ziva was still staring at Tony without uttering a word.

"Ziva, you should start talking before a doctor arrives and knocks me out with some heavy sedative," Tony joked, trying to relieve the tension in the room.

"I... I don't..." she swallowed hard before shaking and bowing her head.

"You?" Tony encouraged her.

"I am scared," her voice was so low that Tony didn't understand what she said.

"What? What d-did you say?" he asked as he tilted his head trying to look in her eyes.

"I am scared," she repeated a bit louder.

"Of me?" Tony asked incredulous. "Ziva," he touched her hand. "Hey, look at me," he whispered and saw her raise her head. "I'd never hurt you and I..."

"I know!" she shouted as she suddenly stood up, making the bed shake.

Tony winced in pain at the sudden movement. "See?!" she gestured to him. "I hurt you... I keep hurting you," she cried as tears started freely falling from her brown eyes.

"You didn't hurt me on purpose," Tony tried to calm her down. He was shocked by her reaction.

"Yes, I did!" she replied pacing the room.

A heavy silence fell on them.

"You're not talking about now, are you?" Tony's calm voice made Ziva stop pacing and turn to him. She shook her head and angrily wiped her cheeks.

Tony didn't say anything. He knew what Ziva was talking about, but he wanted her to start talking this time. It was Ziva's turn to try to fix what had happened in the past.

* * *

"You didn't hurt me on purpose."

"Yes, I did!"

When Gibbs arrived in front of Tony's room, he heard Ziva raise her voice.

_I knew this was a bad idea. She's really upset and Tony is not in any condition to deal with her tantrum. I need to stop this talk before __something serious happened._

He only half-opened the door and peeked through it. Gibbs saw Ziva pacing the room until Tony's words made her stop. "You're not talking about now, are you?" She answered with a nod.

_Tony looks in control and not in pain, but... what's going on in there? What's going on between them?_

* * *

"When... when Gibbs told us that you... you had died in Mexico, I felt... I don't know," she shook her head and walked back towards Tony.

He smiled softly and gestured with his head to the bed.

"I felt... empty and confused," she sighed and sat down on the bed again. "It was like a movie," she tried to explain, but saw Tony frowning. "I saw all the things that happened in all of these years scrolling in front of my eyes like in a movie and..." she stopped as a lump closed her throat.

"And?" Tony choked out. The pain in his body was becoming unbearable and he knew that soon he'd have to ask her to call a nurse.

"You have always been there for me, but I was not," she waited, but Tony didn't say a word. "In Israel... I... I..." Ziva swallowed hard as tears filled her eyes again.

"You?"

"I'm scared of myself," she whispered. "I hurt you on porpuse and... what I did in those days was..."

"A crime," Tony said calmly.

"No!" she stood up again. Ziva was so trapped in her thoughts that she completely forgot Tony's condition and the pain that she had caused him only a few minutes earlier by standing too quickly and making his bed shake.

"Yes. You lied to your s-superiors. You lied to me and Gibbs."

"I didn't..."

"You hid a Mossad assassin illegally in the US - that compromised a very important NCIS investigation."

"I was doing my job as a Mossad Officer," she tried to defend herself.

"No, you weren't... Ziva. You were w-working as a Mossad liaison of-ficer with NCIS and..." Tony winced. "USA and Israel are friends, s-so if there's a danger we've... we've got to w-work together... we... have g-got to share intel... if you wanted to be l-loyal only to Mossad," he took a deep breath. "You s-should have c-called them and t-told them to extract Rivkin before it was too l-late."

"Hadar said the same thing," she whispered.

"In Israel... y-you assaulted a federal agent. Y-you assaulted me, Ziva," Tony whispered and he looked at her so seriously that Ziva felt a shiver run down her spine.

* * *

_WHAT?! She did what?! Ziva assaulted Tony and... I didn't know anything! Tony didn't say anything not even when... I took her back on the team! _

_THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE! She's going to..._

Gibbs was about to burst into the room when Tony's calm voice stopped him.

* * *

"You assaulted one of y-your teammates j-just because you didn't want to ac-cept your responsibilities in Michael's death."

"I didn't assault you," she argued angrily.

"Ziva," Tony raised his voice, but a coughing fit killed the words in his throat.

Ziva rushed to Tony and tried to help him sit up but he shook his head as the coughing subsided. Tony took a deep breath and continued, "Y-you wished me to die... you threw me on the g-ground even though your boyfriend had already beat the cr*p out of me and broken m-my arm. Y-you pointed a load-ed gun at me twice... how," he swallowed hard, "If not assault, what would you call it?"

* * *

_A CRIME! PLAIN AND SIMPLE!_

_Tony, why didn't you tell me anything?_

* * *

"So why did you come to Somalia to save me?" she challenged him.

Tony chuckled sardonically. "First, we thought y-you were dead, so we didn't c-come to save you and... second, what would I have d-done when we found out you were alive? L-leave you there because y-you had assaulted me?! W-who do you think I am? A m-monster?!"

"You said that you couldn't live without me," she teased him.

"I'd h-have said the same thing a-about any one of my f-friends... because, d-despite everything, I s-still thought about you a-as a friend,"

"Why? Why did you forgive me?"

"I didn't," Tony simply answered. "I'm s-still waiting for a r-real apology."

"Really?!" she asked shocked and saw him nodding. "So... why did you take me back on the team?"

"I didn't. Gibbs did and I s-still don't understand why," Tony was deadly serious now. No smiles. No jokes. No attempts to make her feel better.

"But..."

"I just ac-cepted my boss' decision... b-because I respect his authority on the t-team," Tony answered calmly.

* * *

_Da*n!_

_I took her back on the team without talking with Tony. He's... was my SFA and the one who paid the most for what she did at that time._

_Such a good leader you were, Gunny! _Gibbs angrily shook his head.

_Tony was my SFA, my second in command... my friend... my family besides my father and... I took him for granted and I didn't respect him as a man __or __a federal agent._

_Idiot!_

_Now I understand why Tony acted different after Ziva rejoined our team._

_I'm so sorry, Tony._

* * *

"So if it were up to you... if you were the team leader..."

"You'd be in Israel n-now or... in prison."

"Prison?!" she stepped back from Tony's bed and saw him nodding. "And why do I still work for NCIS? Why did you not report me? Why did you not say anything when I became an NCIS Agent and an American citizen?"

Ziva was angry and really surprised by Tony's words. She couldn't believe what he had just said and that he had hidden his feelings for so long, without ever revealing what he really thought.

"B-because... after Somalia... y-you were alone and I w-wanted," Tony took a deep breath trying to control a twinge of pain that was stabbing through his back. "I wanted to... to g-give you a s-second chance, Ziva," he whispered.

Tony's speech problems were increasing due to pain and fatigue.

Ziva looked at Tony in shock. She had treated him really badly and hurt him physically and emotionally, but he still had wanted to give her a second chance to fix what she had done. Tony had hidden his disappointment and his pain to give her the chance of a new life.

In that moment, Ziva realized that all she had now was thanks to Tony. He had saved her in Somalia, but then he had saved her again when he hadn't reported her to Gibbs and Internal Affairs.

_How could I have been so stupid and blind? Why didn't I understand what a precious friend Tony is? I will never be able to thank him enough, but I will do my best to make him proud of me. He deserves it._

* * *

In the hallway Gibbs was so shocked by what he had just heard that he didn't see the two men heading towards Tony's room.

_You always put the others first, Tony. Why?!_

_She didn't deserve another chance but you gave it to her anyway... and what did she do?_

_She treated you even worse than she had before Rivkin... and I let her do it._

"Agent Gibbs," Dr. Pitt's voice interrupted Gibbs' musings.

"Brad," Gibbs greeted him trying to look calm.

"I'd like to introduce you Dr. Harris," Brad said and watched Gibbs and his colleague shake hands. "He'll operate on Tony tomorrow to reduce the cheekbone fracture."

"Is it going to be painful?" Gibbs asked with great concern.

"Yes, I'm sorry," Dr. Harris answered. "But we'll prescribe good painkillers so the pain will be manageable after the operation," the doctor reassure him. "Actually, I'd say that the recovery will be more annoying than painful."

"You're going to deal with a cranky, starving and frustrated DiNozzo. I feel sorry for you, Gibbs," Brad joked.

Gibbs smiled, but the gesture didn't reach his eyes. What he had heard from Tony and Ziva was still echoing in his mind.

"Do you wanna join us? We're going to explain to Tony what Dr. Harris will do tomorrow," Brad offered.

At that moment, Gibbs' cell rang. "Gibbs... yes, sir... give me a minute, please," he turned to Brad and said, "I've got to take this call, sorry."

Both of the doctors nodded and entered the room, while Gibbs sat on the chair just outside of Tony's room.

"Mr. Secretary, what can I do for you?... yes... yes, it's true," Gibbs sighed and leaned his head against the wall. "How do you know that, sir?... Oh, yeah. Sure," he grinned softly. "So what are you going to do, sir?... Really?" he widened his blue eyes. "Yes, sure but... I need to talk with Agent DiNozzo before giving you a definitive answer... sure...yes, but... uhm... I need to talk with you about another issue... yes, pretty serious... whenever you want, sir... Now? ... No, there's no problem."

* * *

"Tony, I..." Ziva started, but the door opened and Dr. Brad Pitt entered, followed by another doctor.

"How are you feeling?" Brad immediately asked Tony as he stopped by his bedside.

"Fine," Tony whispered.

"See, Doctor Harris?" Brad turned to his colleague. "As I told you, never believe this man," he chuckled and turned to Tony who was glaring at him.

"You're in pain..," Brad said and looked at Tony's vitals on the monitors. "I'd say a lot of pain, judging from your blood pressure and your heartbeat," Dr. Pitt added as he checked his patient's chart. "I'm going to give you something to..."

"No," Tony interrupted softly. "I need to... to f-finish something before y-you knock me out, p-please," he explained and gestured with his head to Ziva who was standing in the far corner of the room.

"We can finish later, Tony," she said as she approached the bed, but he shook his head.

"Sorry, but I don't think I know you," Brad smiled and held out his hand. "Dr. Brad Pitt."

"Ziva David. Tony's colleague," she shook his hand.

"This is Dr. Fred Harris," Brad added and the older man shook Ziva's hand as well. Then he turned to Tony and said, "Agent DiNozzo, I'm your maxillofacial surgeon and tomorrow I'll operate on your cheekbone," he smiled.

"What w-will you do?" Tony asked and everyone could hear the strain in his voice.

"We will access your cheekbone from your mouth so we won't leave scars on your face. I'll save you all the medical terms," the older man grinned.

"Thank you."

"Luckily you have a neat fracture so we'll just need to apply a titanium plate and a few screws to keep it in place. There is a possibility of double vision after the surgery and it could last for a few months."

Tony's eye widened in fear, but Dr. Harris reassured him, "Don't worry, it won't be permanent," and he saw his patient relaxing immediately. "You won't be able to lie on your cheek for at least a month and you also won't be able to chew for the same amount of time or perhaps even longer, so you'll be on a NG tube and then on a liquid diet for thirty days. Then..."

"Baby food," Tony sighed.

"Exactly. Baby food until I'll give you permission to start chewing."

"Anything else?" Tony asked. He was tired and clearly in pain. All he wanted was sleep but he couldn't leave his talk with Ziva unfinished. They needed to close this mess as soon as possible or they, and all the people he cared about, would never move on and be a real team again.

"No, except that you'll need painkillers and ice. Dr. Pitt told me that you have bad reactions to painkillers," the doctor added. Tony nodded and a small smile appeared on Ziva's face. "So I'll prescribe you non-narcotic pills. They'll relieve the pain but won't provoke that reaction."

"Tony?" Brad called him.

"Mmmm," Tony mumbled with his eyes closed.

"I know you're exhausted but I need to tell you one more thing. After the surgery, coughing will be very dangerous for you, so tomorrow while you're sedated, I'll perform another lungs lavage and we'll give you stronger antibiotics. You could feel nauseous and more tired than now, but it's the only way to not compromise your recovery. Okay?"

Tony just nodded and Brad added, "Now rest. I'm going to give you something for the pain and the fever. I'll put an oxygen mask on so you won't have to struggle to breath."

While Brad took care of all Tony's needs, the fact that his friend didn't complain about the oxygen mask really bothered him. _You're beyond tired and in pain, my friend._

Ziva waited for the doctors to leave before approaching the bed and taking Tony's hand in hers. He slowly opened his eye and looked at her.

"You need to rest and I have to return to NCIS," she carded her fingers through his sweaty hair. "I will come back later this evening and will bring Abby with me."

Tony nodded, fighting to keep his eye open.

Ziva leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "Thank you for giving me a second chance. I will not disappoint you." She stood up and looked straight into his barely open eye, "You're the strongest person I have ever met and I... I will do my best to keep you in my life forever."

Tony squeezed her hand and nodded slightly before exhaustion and medicine took over and he fell asleep.

Ziva left the room smiling. Though she knew that regaining Tony's trust and friendship wouldn't be easy, the former Mossad officer didn't even remember the last time she had felt so relieved and hopeful for the future.

Unfortunately, just outside the door, Ziva found Gibbs waiting for her and her smile died as she looked at him. The former Marine was staring at her with a look full of disappointment and a hint of anger that scared her.

"Gibbs!" she smiled, trying to hide her discomfort. "You scared me!"

The older man didn't say a word, but stared at her with his gelid blue eyes.

"How... how long have you been here?" she whispered.

"Long enough," he hissed.

"Gibbs, I can expla..."

"We'll talk later. Go back to NCIS. I've talked with the SecNav and have some communications for all of you," he answered coldly.

"Gibbs, please. I need..."

"Go. Now," he ordered with a tone that didn't allow further discussion.

Gibbs waited for Ziva to enter the elevator before he entered Tony's room and sat beside his friend's bed.

The former NCIS Team Leader felt so tired and confused. He felt as if all he had done in the last year had been ignoring, disappointing and hurting Tony.

He took Tony's right hand in his and whispered, "Why didn't you tell me? Why couldn't I see what you were hiding from me?"

The older man took a deep breath. "I disappointed you," he swallowed hard. "I'm sorry, Tony," he sighed.

Gibbs felt Tony squeezing his hand and saw him slowly shaking his head with his eyes still closed.

TBC

* * *

See in the next chapter! :)


	48. Chapter 48

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Some _dialogues_ are not mine, but copied from NCIS DVD.

Sorry for the delay, but our NCIS team couldn't decide what they wanted me to write in this chapter LOL

Thank you to my very good friend Headbanger Rockstar :)

Thank you to my precious BR, usa123!

And thank you to all of you, my faithful readers :)

Warning: minor cursing. NOT for Ziva's fans.

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 47._

Gibbs had fallen asleep in the chair by Tony's side but woke with a start when he heard a soft noise. He immediately checked on Tony and was relieved to see that he his friend was still sound asleep with the oxygen mask pressed firmly against his face.

"You must be really exhausted," a soft voice said.

He looked up and saw a smiling nurse on the other side of the bed.

"What time is it?" he asked, trying to hide a yawn.

"5:30 PM. You slept for almost three hours and didn't move when we came in to check on Agent DiNozzo," she answered. "I'm Lori. I'll be Tony's nurse for the night."

"How is he doing?" Gibbs asked turning to look at his former SFA.

"As good as he can be in his situation," Lori sadly answered. "Sir, Tony is sweaty from the fever and sweat is like acid on his open wounds. So I need to give him a bed-bath, disinfect his wounds and change his bandages. I'd like to do these things while he's sedated so he won't feel any pain. Could you..."

"I'll wait outside," Gibbs sighed as he stood up and felt his knee cracking.

"May I give you some advice?" the nurse asked and Gibbs nodded. "Dr. Pitt gave Tony a very strong sedative so he's going to sleep for several hours. Go home and get some rest."

"I..."

"Sir, Tony has a long road ahead and..." she swallowed hard. "I've seen his back and chest," Lori sighed.

"And?" Gibbs encouraged her when he saw there were tears in her eyes.

"It won't be an easy road - physically or psychologically. What I'm trying to say is that he'll need all of your support, but if you're exhausted, you won't be able to help him to recover."

Gibbs thought about her words for a few minutes and then nodded. He knew that the nurse was right about the upcoming weeks being difficult for all of them.

"Okay," he finally answered. "I'll be back later this evening," Gibbs added as he headed to the door. Before leaving, he looked at Tony one last time and said, "If he wakes up..."

"I'll tell him that you'll be back soon," the nurse smiled softly as Gibbs left the room.

Lori closed the door and returned to her patient, "You went through the hell, but you'll be fine," she ran her fingers through Tony's hair. "And that man will be by your side for every step of your long road."

Gibbs knew that he should have followed Lori's advice and gone home but he had urgent business to take care of at NCIS Headquarters.

"Damn!" Gibbs slapped the steering wheel and pressed harder on the accelerator.

_I wonder__how they'll react..._

* * *

Ziva was at her desk but she couldn't stay seated. Gibbs' stare scared her more than a gun. It was clear that he had heard her conversation with Tony in Israel.

The former Mossad Officer had always wondered if Tony had told Gibbs about her reaction in Israel and if, when the boss had taken her back on the team, he had forgiven her.

Now she knew the answer: Gibbs didn't know anything because Tony wanted to give her a second chance.

_What am I going to do now that Gibbs knows?_

"Ziva! Stop pacing! You're driving us crazy!" Abby's voice brought her back to reality. "Why are you so nervous?"

Ziva looked at Abby but didn't say anything. She just stared the Goth and shook her head.

"What happened between you and Tony at the hospital?" McGee asked as Abby turned to Ziva, her green eyes widening.

"What happened, Ziva?" Abby insisted.

"I... we..."

_DING!_

The elevator door opened and Gibbs entered the bullpen, followed by Agent Burley.

"Gibbs! Why are you here? Did you leave Tony alone?" Abby stood directly in front of him, ready to rebuke him if necessary. "He shouldn't be alone. Tony needs us and we've got to make him feel safe... I'm going to..." she grabbed her coffin-shaped backpack and headed to the elevator, but Gibbs stopped her.

"Tony's fine. Dr. Pitt gave him a heavy sedative so he'll sleep for a few hours and," Gibbs took a deep breath, "we need to talk," he added as he looked at Ziva who lowered her gaze.

"Gibbs, may I?" Stan asked and Gibbs responded with a nod.

"Agent McGee, Agent David, Agent Kennedy, from this moment on, I'm not your boss. Tomorrow, I'll get back to my beloved job as Agent Afloat," Stan said and saw Tim, Ziva and John's eyes widening in surprise.

"Who's our new team leader?" McGee asked and saw Stan turn to Gibbs. Tim's eyes widened even further as a wide grin appeared on his pale face.

"Boss... I mean Gibbs, you..." McGee whispered.

"Effective immediately," Gibbs smirked.

"YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Abby cried as she hugged him tightly.

"I'd say she's happy," Stan grinned.

"We all are," Palmer smiled and Ducky nodded in agreement.

"What about me, sir?" Agent Kennedy shyly asked Gibbs.

"Don't call me sir..." Gibbs growled.

"I work for a living," Stan, Abby and McGee recited in unison.

Gibbs fixed them with a glare before answering, "You'll be reassigned to the Legal Department. Report tomorrow at 0700," he ordered.

"Yes, si... I mean, Bos... I... well... Agent Gibbs," Kennedy stuttered as he hurried to gather his stuff before leaving the bullpen.

"Okay, Gibbs," Stan said as he extended his hand. "I'm going home too. My flight is at 5 AM and I need to pack. Good luck!"

They shook hands. Then Agent Burley said goodbye to his now former team and entered the elevator.

"Jethro, I'm glad to have you back with us," Ducky smiled as he and Gibbs shook hands.

"Our family is complete again! When Tony gets better our team will be perfect again! Yes!" Abby was all smiles, but Gibbs' gloomy look and Ziva's serious face, made her frown. "What's going on, Gibbs?" she asked.

"We need to talk, but not here," Gibbs answered. "I need to talk with the Director. I'll join you all in the conference room," he ordered and headed to the stairs.

"What the hell is going on here?!" Abby asked Tim in frustration.

McGee didn't answer; he was looking at Ziva. "You know what's going on, don't you?" he asked. She just nodded. "So?" he pressed.

"I think we need to wait for Gibbs, but... I know that you will not like what he is going to say," she sighed and walked toward the conference room. _Soon I'll be alone... I will lose all of them and then __I will be alone._

* * *

They didn't have to wait long in the conference room since Gibbs joined them a few minutes later with a DVD in his hands.

"First, we have a new Director. Director Tom Morrow is back," he informed his team as soon as he opened the door, making them jump in their chairs.

"What about Vance?" McGee asked.

"I don't know and I don't care," Gibbs replied. "Play it, McGee!" he ordered as he gave him the DVD.

"On it, boss!" Tim answered as a small smile graced his face. Those three words sounded so good and familiar to his ears.

Gibbs took a seat between Abby and Ziva. In front of them there were Ducky, Jimmy and McGee.

As soon as Tim sat down, he clicked the power button on the remote and the images appeared onscreen. The footage showed a small square surrounded by high grey brick buildings. One of them was made entirely of glasses.

"Surveillance camera?" McGee asked and Gibbs nodded without taking his eyes off from the screen.

There were three people walking in the small space and one of them looked familiar. "Ziva?" Abby whispered as she turned to her friend.

The Israeli woman looked at her with tears in her eyes. "What is...?" Abby started but Jimmy's voice stopped her.

"Tony?" the younger ME frowned.

All of their eyes were fixed on the screen now.

"Where was this video taken?" Ducky asked.

"Mossad Headquarters," Gibbs growled.

"Mossad?" Tim's eyes grew impossibly wide.

The images on the video came from different cameras that had microphones too, so they could see and hear everything that happened.

On screen, Ziva hesitated in front of a glass door and turned to Tony who had stopped on the other side of the small square, his left arm in a sling.

_**"I had no choice," he said.**_

_**"That's a lie," Ziva answered.**_

_**"Why would I lie you, Ziva?" he asked somberly.**_

_**"To save your worthless ass!" she spat back.**_

_**Now they were walking towards each other.**_

_**"From who? Vance? Mossad?" Tony asked.**_

_**"You jeopardized your entire career. And for what?" Ziva raised her voice.**_

_**"For you," Tony whispered. "He was playing you, Ziva."**_

_**"For some reason, you felt it was your job to protect me?" she asked barely able to contain her anger.**_

_**"I did what I had to do," Tony answered calmly.**_

_Obviously! Protect your team at all costs! It's how we work and live_, McGee thought.

_**"You killed him," Ziva accused her SFA.**_

_**"If I hadn't, you be having this conversation with him. Maybe that's the way you prefer it," he retorted.**_

_**"Perhaps I would," she raised her voice a bit more.**_

McGee stopped the video. He couldn't believe what he had just heard.

Ducky and Palmer looked at each other in disbelief.

Abby gasped at those words and turned to Ziva.

"You wished for Tony to die?!" she shouted and was about to stand up but Gibbs put his hands on her shoulders.

"Wait," he whispered but it sounded like a firm order. Abby sat down again, crossed her arms and nodded to let him know that McGee could restart the video.

_**"Why don't you just get this out?" Tony's voice came from the video. He took a step towards Ziva. "You wanna take a punch? Take a swing?" **_

Suddenly Tony's voice rose, startled them.

_**"Get it out of your system! Go ahead! Do it!"**_

_**Now Tony and Ziva were face-to-face and she hissed, "Be careful, Tony. Because much like Michael, I only need one."**_

_**"And that's what you're really angry about, isn't it? That's what's bothering you. It's not that he's dead. It's that your Mossad boyfriend got his ass kicked by a chump like me."**_

Tony's voice was low but his tone made them shiver.

_**"You took advantage of him."**_

_**"He attacked me. What was I supposed to...?"**_

In this moment the unthinkable happened.

_**Ziva kicked Tony's leg out under him and threw him on the ground. **_Everyone in the room gasped in horror as Ziva closed her eyes. She knew this was not the worst part of the video.

_**Tony landed on his back with a loud thump and cried out in pain.**_

_**Ziva straddled him and pinned**__**him on the ground. "You saw a glass table, you pushed him back, you dropped him on it," she growled angrily through clenched teeth. "He was impaled in the side by a shard of glass... bloody, gasping for air," she almost cried.**_

_**"I guess you read my report," Tony interjected. The pain and anger were clear in his voice.**_

_**"I memorized it!" Ziva shouted. "You could have left it at that. Walk away. But no! You let him up."**_

And then the worst part arrived.

_**Ziva took her loaded gun and pointed it at Tony's chest. "You put four in his chest!" she cried.**_

_**"You weren't there," Tony calm voice shocked all of them.**_

McGee stood up and walked closer to the screen as if he needed to be sure what he was watching was real.

_**"You could have put one in his leg!" Ziva shouted again as she shoved the barrel of her gun into Tony's leg.**_

They all looked at her with anger and disgust in their eyes. Only Gibbs was still staring at the screen as Tony repeated, _**"You weren't there."**_

_**"But I should have been," Ziva barked.**_

_**A silent moment and then Tony said, "You loved him."**_

_**"I guess I'll never know," Ziva whispered.**_

_**She stood up and Tony winced in pain.**_

_**In three steps Ziva was back at the glass door. She turned to Tony one last time before entering the building, leaving him on the ground gasping in pain.**_

The screen went black and a heavy silence fell on the conference room.

Ziva raised her eyes, looked at all of them and saw all of her nightmares coming true: she had lost her family.

McGee was clearly angry and shocked.

Ducky looked devastated and older than a few minutes earlier.

Jimmy was looking at her with scared eyes as he kept clenching and unclenching his fists.

Gibbs' gaze felt like a cold sword piercing her heart.

Abby slowly stood up and walked to Ziva.

The forensic analyst stopped in front of the woman that she had called 'friend' for years and stared at her.

Ziva stood up as well. "Abby, I..."

SLAP!

Abby's hand hit Ziva's face so violently that the outline of her fingers remained on the Israeli'scheek, highlighting her unjustifiable actions.

TBC

* * *

What's going to happen now?

Please, let me know what you think.


	49. Chapter 49

I own nothing of NCIS :(

I'm not a lawyer so, please forgive my mistakes :)

A special thank you to my BR usa123 for being so patient and nice with me.

Thank you to all of you for still reading this story... that it's longer than I planned when I started writing LOL

If you find grammar mistakes, they're mine.

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 48._

The tension in the conference room was palpable as the harsh sound of Abby's slap continued to echo in their ears.

Ziva froze with her hand on her red cheek and she didn't react or utter a word.

"McGee, Abby, Ducky, Palmer," Gibbs' voice broke the heavy silence. "I need a complete report on the case you were investigating with Stan. Do not miss any detail."

"Now, Boss?" McGee asked and received a firm nod. "On it!"

"But Gibbs, what about..." Abby started.

"My dear, let Jethro handle this uncomfortable situation. Our duty is to help him get back in game as soon as possible," Ducky intervened as he gently escorted the younger woman out of the room. They were followed by Palmer and Gibbs' temporary SFA.

Before leaving the room, Abby asked, "When my report is complete, may I visit Tony?"

"We'll go with you," Gibbs said seriously, making a shooing motion with his hands.

When they were finally alone, Ziva met Gibbs' level gaze. "Please, do not look at me like that," she whispered.

"Like what?" Gibbs asked.

"Like you were looking at a disgusting worm," she answered, lowering her eyes.

"Can you blame me?" Gibbs asked, not waiting for her answer. "Do you understand that what you did was not only completely crazy, but also a crime? If you didn't see Tony as a friend that had saved your ass from your boyfriend and your father, you should have seen him as a Federal Agent and your superior."

"Tony is my friend," she cried.

"Really?" Gibbs' raised his eyebrows skeptically. "If you treat your friends this way, how do you treat your enemies?!" he barked.

Ziva didn't answer: she knew Gibbs was right. Tony didn't deserve what she'd done to him or how she had treated him after he had saved her in Somalia. "You are going to fire me, right?" she asked, barely audible.

Gibbs shook his head. "I can fire you from my team, but it's a Director's call to fire you from the agency," he said as he headed toward the door.

"You talked to him, what..."

"Follow me," he said curtly.

* * *

While Abby, McGee, Ducky and Palmer were working on their reports, Gibbs and Ziva entered the NCIS Director's office.

Tom Morrow greeted them with a nod and motioned for them to sit down at the table in front of his desk while he stood between them.

"Agent David, I've seen the video that your father sent us," he started without any preamble and saw her widening her brown eyes in surprise. "Didn't you tell her, Agent Gibbs?" he asked.

"No, I didn't," Gibbs answered as he looked directly into Ziva's eyes and saw her eyes filling with tears. "Your father wants you back in Israel. He wants to ruin your life again; unfortunately, this time, Tony won't be there to save you," he grimaced. "Eli sent us that video to ensure we'd send you back to him."

"And?" she asked in low tone.

"It's up to you now," Gibbs answered.

"What do you mean?" Ziva asked surprised.

"You're an American citizen and an NCIS Agent, so you have two options," Morrow explained. "You can renounce to your citizenship, go back to Israel and never come back to the US, or you can face what you did as an American citizen and an NCIS Agent."

Ziva nodded, but didn't say anything. Both options scared her, but going back to her father was the last thing she wanted to do; she still hoped Tony would give her another chance to prove all the team that they could trust her. The Israeli woman hoped that, in the future, her friends would forgive her and make her part of their dysfunctional family again.

"So?" the Director asked.

"I will stay," she said firmly and received two nods. "What is going to happen now?" she asked hesitantly.

"We'll charge you..." Gibbs started but Tom stopped him.

"Not exactly, Gibbs."

"What?" the former Marine asked surprised. "She assaulted a Federal Agent and that DVD proves it!" he raised his voice.

"True, but Agent DiNozzo didn't file a report so, until he does, we can't do anything concrete. I can suspend her with no salary and even charge her, but we need Tony's testimony to have condemnation."

"I'll take care of it," Gibbs stormed out of the office and headed down to the Autopsy.

"Your actions were extremely grave and, now that I'm in charge of NCIS, I plan on fixing the messes created by the previous Directors," Director Morrow said towering over Ziva who was looking at him warily.

"Clear your desk and go home. Our Legal Department will contact you," he said as he sat behind his desk and started flipping through a file.

The older man didn't even look up when Ziva slipped silently out of his office.

* * *

"Mr. Palmer, did you find the autopsy tapes I inquired about?" Ducky asked, rummaging in his drawer.

Not receiving any answer, the good doctor turned and found his assistant staring into an open cabinet drawer. "Mr. Palmer?" he asked again. "Jimmy!" he raised his voice and startled the younger man.

"Sorry, Dr. Mallard. I was... I mean... I was thinking about the video and what Ziva did and said," Jimmy explained blushing. "Her voice was filled with so much anger..." he trailed off.

"Yes, it was awful to hear and see what she did to Anthony. I'm surprised he didn't suffer further injury from that fall," Ducky mused.

"Are you sure he didn't?" Gibbs' voice made them turn towards the sliding doors.

"No," Ducky sighed. "I'm not sure. I wouldn't be surprised to find out that Anthony's injuries worsened and he didn't say anything," he shook his head.

"To punish himself," Palmer whispered, quickly returning to his research.

"What did you say, Palmer?" Gibbs asked, approaching him.

The younger man turned and looked straight into the former Marine's eyes. "When you left to Mexico and Tony became Team Leader, he needed someone to talk to. Someone who didn't mock him or tell him he wasn't you. Someone who respected the man and the Agent... so, we became friends... good friends," Jimmy smiled. "We went out for drinks or had dinner together. We watched movies and we talked a lot."

Ducky and Gibbs exchanged a surprised look at Palmer's confident tone. He didn't sound like the man who was intimidated by Gibbs and was afraid of saying something inappropriate.

The younger man noticed their surprised looks and explained. "At that time, no one respected Tony as Team Leader, except Dr. Mallard and me. They debated his orders... sometimes they even didn't follow them."

"This is unacceptable," Gibbs hissed. _Another mess to fix!_

"And... uhm..." Jimmy hesitated.

"What?!" Gibbs demanded to know.

"They respected him even less when you came back without talking to Tony and..." the young ME swallowed hard, "threw his stuff on his desk as if... if what Tony did to keep the team together and maintain the same case closure rate didn't mean anything to you."

"Mr. Palmer," Ducky whispered, pleasantly surprised by his assistant's bravery.

"One the things that hurt Tony the most," Jimmy didn't stop, "was to hear his team... his friends, reminding him every day that he was not Gibbs. At that time he was the team leader and was undercover with Jeanne Benoit. He was exhausted beyond any limits and didn't have any support from his colleagues," Jimmy shook his head and chuckled ruefully. "I'm not surprised he fell in love with Jeanne."

"What do you mean?" Ducky asked, since Gibbs was speechless.

"Agent Gibbs had left with a laconic 'you'll do'... not a warning or a talk to explain Tony the job and reassure him that he was the right man to take his position," the younger man turned to Gibbs again.

"You never call him from Mexico... Agent Gibbs, you left him alone," Jimmy sighed. "I was the only friend Tony had but he needed to know that someone else cared about him and loved him. Someone who loved the real Tony and didn't treat him like a stupid buffoon or a punching bag. One day, Tony told me that he was in love...really in love for the first time in his life..." Palmer swallowed hard again. "Because he had finally found someone who wanted him... who accepted him for who he was, strength and weaknesses alike," he took a deep breath. "The only lies that Tony told Jeanne were his last name and his job, but... for first time in his life he didn't feel the need to wear a mask around her."

"Why did you say Tony wanted to punish himself?" Gibbs asked, finally recovering from the initial shock.

"When Tony lost Jeanne... or, more accurately, when he let her go because he knew they couldn't live out their love and she needed a new life away from him... Tony lost his heart too. He can plaster a happy smile on his face every day and make people think that he doesn't have a care in the world, but his heart suffers more than we think. Tony knows what it means to be alone. He knows what it feels like to lose the only chance to be really, truly happy for the rest of your life. So, when he killed Rivkin and saw Ziva's reaction... he thought that he had taken Ziva the only chance she had to be happy."

"Did he tell you that?" Ducky asked shocked by his assistant's words.

"No," Jimmy shook his head. "But I know Tony well enough to know that this is what he thought," he explained sadly and got back to work, leaving Gibbs and Ducky staring at each other with pained glances.

* * *

As soon as Ziva entered her apartment, her phone rang. She picked up the receiver and heard her father's voice. "Hello, sweetheart," he happily greeted her.

"What do you want?" she asked harshly.

"Ziva. Why this tone?"

"Why?! WHY?!" she shouted. "You ruined my life! You gave NCIS that DVD and now I've lost all of them!" she cried as she angrily wiped her eyes.

"So you'll finally come home. They do not deserve you. I'm your family and..."

"NO! I will never get back to you. I will stay here."

"Ziva, do not be stubborn. They will charge you and you risk ending up in jail," Eli's tone was so smooth and slow that it reminded Ziva of a crawling snake.

"I do not care," she sniffled. "What I did was unacceptable and I will deal with the consequences," she said lowering her voice.

"I will find the best lawyer and..."

"NO! Stay out of my life! I do not want to see you again!"

"Without me, you will be alone!" her father barked.

"Better alone than with you," Ziva hissed and shoved down the receiver.

She was shaking with fear and rage. Suddenly the phone started ringing again.

The former Mossad Officer checked the caller. _My father!_

In a fit of anger, Ziva threw the phone into a nearby wall.

"I am really alone now," she sighed, staring at the shattered pieces of her telephone on the floor.

* * *

"Jethro, why did you come down here?" Ducky asked after he had recovered from the shock Jimmy's words had provoked.

Gibbs looked at his friend with angry eyes, took a deep breath and answered, "We need DiNozzo's testimony to be sure Ziva pays for what she did in Israel."

"And?" the ME asked as he saw Palmer taking tapes from the drawer and placing them on his table.

"Agent Gibbs," Jimmy intervened. "Are you sure Tony will testify against Ziva?"

"No; that's why I'm here," Gibbs answered grimly.

"You came for my advice?" Ducky asked and shook his head. "I don't know what to say, Jethro."

"Duck!"

"Anthony can be more stubborn than you. Since he didn't report her, why he should testify against Ziva now?"

"Because she has to pay for what she did!" Gibbs raised his voice.

"Jethro," Ducky took a deep breath. "My only advice is to talk with Anthony and..."

"On my way," Gibbs stormed out of the Autopsy.

"And listen to him," Ducky whispered to the sliding doors.

"Do you really think he will listen?" Palmer asked and saw Ducky shaking his head.

"He didn't protect Anthony in the past so now..." Ducky began.

"He'll overprotect him," Jimmy finished.

* * *

Gibbs went back to the Director's office to retrieve some documents. Then he went to Abby's lab and together they headed to the parking lot, where they took a car to Bethesda.

During the drive, the team leader told Abby everything he, Ducky and Palmer had talked about in Autopsy.

* * *

Tony had been awake for a few minutes when Gibbs and Abby entered the room.

"Hey!" he greeted them with a smile.

"How are you doing?" Abby immediately asked with great concern. "And do not say 'I'm fine!'," she scolded him with a small smile.

"Okay," he sighed. "I'm better than when I fell asleep. I've had a really good nap," Tony reassured her and turned to his boss. Gibbs was extremely serious. He seemed worried... no, angry.

"What's going on?" Tony asked as he glanced between Gibbs to Abby.

His friends exchanged unreadable looks that only served to worry him further. "So?" the SFA prodded.

"Tony," Abby whispered and took his hand in hers. "We know everything," she added and he saw her eyes filling with tears.

"You know what?" Tony was getting nervous.

"Here! Sign!" Gibbs threw some papers on his lap.

Abby rolled her eyes in exasperation as she saw Gibbs close the door to give the three of them some privacy. _Not the right way to approach him! If you go head-to-head, you won't get anything, Gibbs!_

"What's that?" Tony asked surprised as he let go of Abby's hand. He picked up the papers and started reading. He could read with only one eye so it took him longer than usual, but the more he read, the wider his gaze got.

When he finished, Tony turned to the former Marine and chuckled. "You're kidding, aren't you?" Gibbs' deadly glare told him otherwise so Tony looked at Abby and she shook her head.

"You want to charge Ziva for what happened in Israel? Are you serious?" he questioned with genuine surprised. "Why?"

"Tony, she..." Abby started gently but Gibbs' wrath stopped her.

"Why?! She assaulted you!" he exclaimed.

"Yes, and you took her back on the team despite all she had done during Rivkin mess!" Tony replied, raising his voice.

"I didn't have all the intel because you didn't report her!" Gibbs raised his voice even more and, with two strides, he was by Tony's bedside.

"You had enough intel to fire her, but you didn't! So why should have I report her?! To hear you tell me to stop whining and man up!" Tony's voice was so full of anger that Abby gasped.

"I wouldn't have told you that!"

"Are you sure?" Tony asked icily, staring at Gibbs.

Gibbs didn't reply. Tony's doubts had hurt him deeply. "You forgave her even though she betrayed everything you'd taught us...the bases of your... of our lives," Tony added. "Honesty, loyalty and trust," he recited, counting on his hand.

"If I had known what..." Gibbs started.

"You'd have forgiven her," Tony interrupted him. "She screwed up multiple missions and disrespected both orders and people, but you've never said anything," Tony continued as he tried to get more comfortable in the bed. "You've always justified every one of her mistakes but you didn't do her any good because she never learnt from them."

Tony's tone was so calm and cold that Gibbs felt a long cold blade dig into his very soul.

"I know you have a soft spot for women... I do too," Tony smiled lightly. "But not everything is forgivable, Gibbs."

"Like her assault in Israel," Gibbs replied.

Tony nodded slowly and asked, "Do you think charging her would teach her anything?"

"Yes!"

"No," the SFA whispered. "She'd see it as a punishment but she wouldn't learn from it."

"How do you know that?" Gibbs asked in annoyance.

"Because I know her. The most important person in Ziva's life is..."

"Ziva," Abby whispered and saw Tony nodding.

"She'd see the punishment as a form of revenge, not as something that would teach her to think before acting or to respect her superiors."

Gibbs' face was unreadable but Abby was nodding in agreement.

"Plus," Tony swallowed hard. "I had killed her boyfriend, so..."

"Do not dare to say that you deserve it!" Gibbs admonished Tony.

This time it was Tony's turn to be speechless. Though he couldn't justify Ziva's reaction, he felt like he had deprived her of the chance to be happy and he needed to be punished for that. Tony thought he deserved her anger, but not her crazy reaction.

"I'm not going to charge her," he whispered as he threw the papers on the bedside table and then looked down at his lap.

"The hell you won't!" Gibbs was furious. "She shoved a loaded gun into your chest and leg!"

"I was there," Tony's stony face stared up at Gibbs.

"She threw you on the ground even though you were already injured!"

"I know."

"Dammit Tony! Stop being so stubborn! She has to face her mistake!" Gibbs shouted and pounded the table in anger.

Abby's whistle startled both the men. "Okay! Time out!" she intervened. "Gibbs, you need a coffee," she added heading to the door and opening it. "Please," she gestured for him to leave the room.

The former Marine was still fuming. He couldn't accept Tony's decision. It was wrong and he was hoped that Tony knew it as well.

Gibbs and Tony had always understood each other without uttering a word. They could read each other's minds without any problems, but this time, the team leader was completely lost. He didn't understand what was going through Tony's mind and he hated it.

He reluctantly left the room and, as he passed next to Abby, he heard her whispering, "Never go head-to-head with your SFA, Gibbs." He looked at her in surprise. "Give me thirty minutes," she winked as she closed the door.

TBC

* * *

Let's see what Abby is going to say...

Please, let me know what you think. Thank you :)


	50. Chapter 50

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thank you to my precious BR, usa123!

And thank you to all of you, my faithful readers :)

This chapter is shorter than the previous one, but it's all Tony/Abby with a bit of Gibbs. So I hope you'll like it :)

This is not a long chapter, but I love it so much!

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 49._

_Gibbs reluctantly left the room and, as he passed next to Abby, he heard her whispering, "Never go head-to-head with your SFA, Gibbs." He looked at her in surprise. "Give me thirty minutes," she winked as she closed the door._

* * *

"Thank you," Tony whispered as soon as Abby closed the door.

"Are you sure?" she teased him as she walked into the bathroom and wet a washcloth with cold water.

"Are you going to yell at me too?" Tony asked, clearly exhausted.

Abby perched on the edge of the bed and put the washcloth on the bedside table.

Then she took Tony's hand in hers and ruffled his hair with her left hand. "How do you feel?" she asked sweetly as she felt Tony leaning into her touch.

"Tired," he whispered and closed his eyes.

"Do want some water?" she asked. When he nodded, Abby took a glass of water from the bedside table and helped Tony drink through the straw.

"Thanks," he sighed while she put the glass down.

"Tony, I know you're tired and probably in pain, but... we need to talk. You know that, don't you?" Abby said as she resumed her position on the bed and took his hand in hers again.

"Abby... please, save the lecture," Tony opened his eye and stared unhappily at her. "I'm not going to change my mind."

"I know," she smiled.

"So?"

"So…" she took a deep breath and adjusted the blanket draped over his chest. "So, we need to find a way to punish Ziva and, at the same time, teach her a very good lesson," she answered seriously.

"Abby, I killed the man she loved... what if Rivkin was her only chance to be happy?" he asked, his eyes filling with tears.

"Like Jeanne was yours?" Abby half-smiled.

"What?" Tony was surprised by her question. "How do you..."

"Jimmy. Do you think I didn't see how much losing her hurt you?"

Tony averted his gaze, trying to hide the tears that were about to spill from his eyes, but Abby put a finger under his chin and gently turned his face toward her. "You can cry around me, Tony. You've seen my tears so many times. Now, it's my turn to see yours," she said and felt her eyes filling with tears as well.

"I know that... what Ziva did is wrong, but..." he started, but felt a lump closing his throat.

"She was upset, desperate and felt guilty because, if she would have been honest, Rivkin would be still alive and you wouldn't feel wrongly guilty," Abby summarized.

"Ziva's back now...Gibbs took her back, so why bother?" he shrugged and felt pain coursing through his body. He moaned and squeezed Abby's hand.

"Do you want me call the nurse?" the Goth asked, alarmed.

Tony shook his head and took a deep breath. "It's passing. Give me a minute," he choked out.

"Take deep breaths and try to relax," Abby whispered and started massaging his scalp. "You'll be fine. Pain is going away and soon you'll be fine again, my baby brother."

"Baby brother?" Tony looked at her in surprise as he felt the pain subside. "I'm older than you and you always say I'm your big brother," he smiled.

"Yes, but only when you're healthy. Now you're in pain, so you're my baby brother because I'll be taking care of you," she kissed his forehead.

"Abby... you're crazy!" Tony joked.

"Yes and you love me for it," she replied with a knowing wink.

"True."

"Earlier you asked me, why bother now," Abby began, the momentary joy gone from her tone.

"Yes... I'm not worth—"

"Anthony D. DiNozzo!" she raised her voice, startling him. "Don't you dare finish that sentence!"

"Abby..."

"Don't 'Abby' me!" she interrupted. "Thank God that you're in a hospital bed or I'd slap you silly!" Abby was definitely mad now.

"Abs, listen..." Tony tried to explain, but his friend didn't let him say more than two words.

"What do you think happened when we thought you...we wouldn't see you again?" Abby asked, remembering how devastated the team had been only a few days ago.

Tony didn't know what to say, so he sat silently, waiting for her to continue.

"We were desperate... nothing was important," she sniffled. "Gibbs left NCIS and..."

"He what?" Tony whispered, completely shocked.

"Yes. That gruff man loves you as a father loves his son. He couldn't stay at NCIS without you. When he thought he had lost you, he...it was like he was reliving Kelly's death," Abby explained and saw tears rolling down Tony's cheeks.

"Why do you think he's so angry now? Because he feels guilty. Gibbs thinks he forced you to accept Ziva back, but mostly," the young woman swallowed hard. "He... Gibbs feels that what happened to you in Mexico is his fault."

"His fault? No!" Tony couldn't believe what Abby had just said. "It's not his fault. I decided to stay and help Franks. It was my decision."

"Yes, but Gibbs thinks that Reynosa Cartel wouldn't have been so cruel if he hadn't killed Pedro Hernandez."

Tony was shaking his head in disbelief. As if she was reading his mind, Abby said, "You didn't think your death would have affected us, did you?" When she saw his surprised gaze she added, "I can read your mind too, Tony," Abby smiled softly. "You don't get it, do you?...You're the soul of our crazy weird family and, without you, we're all lost."

A warm feeling filled his heart and Tony couldn't help but smile. Maybe he wasn't as worthless and useless as he thought.

"You don't want to report Ziva and, though I do not agree with you, I'm trying to understand."

"Gibbs—"

"Gibbs will never understand, but he trusts you enough to respect your decision."

"Are you sure?" Tony asked doubtfully.

"Only if you'll find a way to punish her. A way to make her understand her faults and not repeat the same mistakes," Abby answered.

Tony turned towards the window. He was so tired and he just wanted to sleep, but he knew that Abby's words combined with Gibbs' reaction wouldn't let him rest until he found a solution.

Seeing her friend struggling to maintain his composure, Abby took the wet washcloth and wiped Tony's face. "You're all sweaty," she whispered smiling softly.

"Abby... I don't know what to do," Tony turned to her and his lost expression made her heart ache.

"Okay," she nodded. "Killing her and disposing of her body without leaving any forensic evidence is out of question, right?" Abby asked, only half-joking.

Tony nodded grinning.

"If what happened to you in Israel would have happened to anyone of us, what would you have done?"

"Kill her and ask you to dispose of her body without leaving any forensic evidence," Tony repeated.

"Are you two planning a murder?" They both jumped as Gibbs entered the room with a coffee in his hand.

"Boss, I'm sorry for... Abby and I talked and now I understand your reaction," Tony said immediately. "But I'm not going..."

"To change your mind," Gibbs finished. "I shouldn't have reacted like that, DiNozzo... I'm sorry," he whispered, his words barely audible.

"Tony and Gibbs said 'I'm sorry!" Abby exclaimed, clutching her chest dramatically as if she were experiencing a heart attack. "This is a historic day!"

"Abs!" both men glared at her good naturedly, which made her laugh.

"So what's the solution?" Abby asked still giggling.

"She's off the team and suspended without salary," Gibbs answered and when he saw that Tony was ready to protest, he added, "I'm back at NCIS as MCRT Leader. This is my decision and it's not up for discussion."

Tony nodded in agreement. "The rest is up to you, Tony?" Gibbs raised his eyebrows.

The SFA thought about all they had said for a long time. He needed to find a way to teach Ziva what was right and what was wrong, but he also wanted to give her a chance to redeem herself.

Abby and Gibbs patiently waited for Tony. Every now and then, they exchanged worried looks until a small smile appeared on DiNozzo's face.

"So?" Abby asked impatiently.

"Suspended for three months without salary, FLETC, anger management and sexual harassment classes," Tony recited.

Gibbs and Abby's eyes widened. They stared at Tony as if he had just announced he was in love with McGee.

The SFA grinned and continued his list. "A complete psychological evaluation before going back to work..." He paused for a few seconds and looked at Gibbs who now was glaring at him sure that Tony was going to ask him to take Ziva back on the team after her re-training. But his SFA surprised him. "On another team for at least a year, unless she proves she's learned her lesson."

"I would add a demotion to Agent, so she'll do desk job and won't go in the field, and a 21-hours-a-week job in the evidence garage for a year," Gibbs said.

"So she'd work for me," Abby said with a satisfied smirk on her face. "I like that!"

"Me too," Gibbs agreed.

"Sounds like we agree," Tony said, as he looked at his friends and saw them nod. "Now, may I go back to sleep?" he yawned and snuggled under the blanket that Abby was already raising on his chest.

"See you tomorrow, Tony," she kissed his forehead.

"'Night, Abs," he mumbled, already half-asleep.

"I'll take you home, Abby," Gibbs said as they walked into the hallway. "I'll be back in thirty, DiNozzo," he added before closing the door to his SFA's room.

_Sure, Gibbs._ Tony thought as a smile graced his battered face.

_Thank you for understanding and trusting me. We may fight but we always have each other's sixes._

TBC

* * *

See you in the next chapter! :)

Review, please! Thank you so much :)


	51. Chapter 51

NB: I do not own anything of NCIS :(

Sorry for the delay but I've had writer's block. I hope it's over now. *sigh*

Thanks for all your reviews, alerts and PMs. They're so important to me :)

Thank you USA123. I would have never been able to write this chapter without you. You're amazing!

_''Regrets and...''_

_Chapter 50._

Gibbs sat on the recliner next to Tony's bed. The room was dimly lit by the light coming from the window and silent except for DiNozzo's heartbeat.

To eyes that didn't know Tony, it looked like he was sleeping, but Gibbs knew better. The younger man was wide awake but deep in concentration.

"You're supposed to be sleeping, DiNozzo," he murmured and saw a small smile appear on Tony's face. "Stop thinking."

"Can't," Tony whispered.

"Why?"

"Do you think things would have been different if I hadn't gone to Ziva's apartment that night?"

"Ya mean for Rivkin or between you and Ziva?"

"Both."

"Yes. Things would have been different," Gibbs answered honestly.

"I screwed up," Tony sighed, misunderstanding his boss' words.

The team leader rubbed his face with his hands and sighed in frustration. He let his head fall against the headrest and said, "Did you go to Ziva's place to kill Rivkin?"

"No!"

"Did you kill him out of jealousy or anger?"

"Absolutely not! He attacked me! I asked him to stop—more than once—but he didn't listen. I fired because he was going to kill me," Tony's voice was filled with pain and anger.

"When you confronted Ziva in Israel, did you think she was going to attack you?"

"No. I was trying to make her understand the truth behind Rivkin's death and," he swallowed hard, "I wanted her to vent so then she'd listen to reason."

"You thought she was going to fight you and maybe insult you, but not attack you and point a loaded gun at you, right?"

"Yes," Tony exhaled loudly.

"You've answered your own question, DiNozzo," Gibbs smirked.

"Did I?" Tony turned to him.

"I hope you're just groggy from the painkillers and sleeping pills because otherwise I'd need to fire you."

"WHAT?! Why?" Tony didn't jump out of the bed only because he was too weak and in too much pain to do so.

"Because my SFA would know that what happened to Rivkin and Ziva, it happened because of their own decisions. They both chose to attack you and Ziva freely chose to lie and withhold information. No one forced them. You just did your job, Tony. And you did it damn well."

The younger man fell silent as he let Gibbs' words sink in. The older man could feel Tony struggle to overcome his guilt and to believe his boss' words.

"You made just one mistake," Gibbs whispered.

"Yeah?"

"The night you tried to give Ziva the chance to explain what you and Abby found on her computer. You treated her like a friend even though you knew she betrayed our trust and friendship."

After Tony nodded his agreement, Gibbs added, "But I made a bigger mistake."

"What?"

"I took her back on the team without consulting you and..." the former Marine swallowed hard to keep his anger under control. "I let her manipulate me," he admitted, barely audible.

"How so?" Tony was really surprised by Gibbs' words. Until that moment, he didn't realize anyone could manipulate Gibbs and survive.

"She used my pain over Kelly's death against me," he answered through clenched teeth. "Ziva told me I was the only father she had and I believed her." He stood up and started pacing the room. "I treated her like a daughter."

He stopped at the foot of Tony's bed and looked straight into his eyes. "She isn't my daughter. She's the woman who lied to me about Ari for four years. She's the woman who killed her own brother to gain my trust." He gripped the bedrail so tightly that his knuckles went white.

Gibbs saw Tony's eye widen in shock. "She what?" he whispered.

"Didn't you know?" Gibbs raised his eyebrows and when Tony shook his head, he continued. "When we came back from Tel Aviv, Vance told me Eli ordered Ziva to kill Ari because he was a rough and to gain my trust."

"Why? Why does he want your trust?"

"I don't know," Gibbs sighed and headed towards the window. "I should have known there was something wrong when..." he trailed off and stared out the window.

Tony barely heard what his boss had said. "When what?" he pressed.

"Before getting on the plane, Ziva asked me to choose between you and her and, when we got her back, she told me she had felt betrayed because I had chosen you," Gibbs shook his head. "I guess she thought I'd choose her," he smirked, anger and disbelief present in his voice.

The Team Leader expected to hear an angry comment or a sarcastic joke from Tony but his words were met with silence.

As Gibbs turned to check on his agent, he heard choking sounds coming from DiNozzo's bed. "Tony!" he rushed to his SFA's side.

Tony was panting. _Ziva tried to take away the only family I have. At the time, she was still on good terms with her father...but still she tried to steal my family. Ziva knows damn well what Gibbs and the others mean to me and she knows how important my job is. Being a Federal Agent is part of who I am...but she wanted me to be alone._

_After I lost Jeanne, my team and my job became the most important things in my life. She wanted me to lose everything I care about. Maybe, I could have forgiven her actions in Israel in the end, but this...she tried to destroy my life!_

"Tony, breathe!" Gibbs ordered as he took the oxygen mask that was hanging on the wall behind the bed and put it over Tony's mouth. "Breathe," he repeated, trying to sound calm. "In and out...slowly...in and out...breathe," he coached his friend.

_Asking Gibbs to choose between me and her?! That's crazy! Gibbs treats us like family. You don't ask a father to choose between his children. I shouldn't be surprised...her father ordered her to kill his son. That family is poison and I've got to protect my family from its venom._

The former Marine saw Tony's eyes rolling back in his head. "Stay with me, DiNozzo!" he barked the firmest order he had ever given.

Tony's foggy eyes looked at Gibbs. The older man had never seen such deep sadness and pain in those green orbs. "I know. It hurts more than any injury you've ever received but she's gone now," he said calmly as he ran his fingers through Tony's hair. "She's not part of our team anymore and, if you want my opinion, she'll never be again."

In that moment, Lori, the night nurse,entered the room, alarmed by the sound of Tony's heart monitor.

"Give us a minute, please," Gibbs asked, looking directly at her.

The woman slowly approached the bed and checked all the monitors. She turned and met Gibbs' stare. "Dr. Pitt doesn't want to give him anything that could depress his respiration," she said. "But if it—"

"If it gets worse, I'll call you immediately," Gibbs reassured her. "Thank you," he added and Lori left the room.

"Better?" Gibbs asked Tony. The younger man nodded and said something that was muffled by the mask. "We'll talk later. Now rest."

Tony's hand moved towards the oxygen mask. Gibbs was about to slap it away when he saw the pleading expression on his agent's face."Okay, I'll remove it for a few seconds. Deal?"

Tony nodded and, as soon as his mouth was free from the mask he croaked, "Why?" He couldn't believe that Ziva had tried to get rid of him, even after all he had done to help her, but he was determined to understand her reasons so he could put an end to this mess forever.

"Why she asked me to choose?" Gibbs asked as he put the oxygen mask back over Tony's mouth.

Tony nodded. "She said she couldn't work with you because she didn't trust you and didn't believe you about Rivkin even though you gave her your word," Gibbs recalled.

Tony shook his head sadly and Gibbs continued, "There was no contest." Gibbs took a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped Tony's face and forehead, seeing the uncertainty in DiNozzo's eyes. "I'll always choose you. Without hesitation."

Even though Tony's look was unreadable, the older man knew he was still struggling to decide whether or not to believe his friend. Gibbs perched on the bed and took a deep breath. It was time to close the door on the past and start a brand new relationship with Tony.

"I screwed up big time with you Tony and I can't change the past, but I can—we can—start over. It'll be like our first years, the good old days," he smirked. "What do you think?"

Tony blinked once in agreement and Gibbs was sure there was a small smile under the oxygen mask.

"I chose you. No one forced me to hire you. When we were working together in Baltimore, I asked Pacci to find your file because you impressed me. You were what I was looking for. Do you remember when we first talked at the precinct?" Gibbs asked and Tony nodded in response. "You understood my plan without me saying anything. You were, and still are, the best young agent I've ever worked with."

Tony's eyes widened at those words. Gibbs never offered such high praise. Maybe the concussion was worse than doctors thought...

"I mean it," Gibbs easily read his SFA's thoughts and smirked at Tony's glare. "You're my best agent and...my best friend. I've met only two people who knew how to deal with me. I married the first one and..." he swallowed hard. "And I hired the second one," he added, wiping a tear on Tony's cheek with his thumb.

"Tony, I've heard what Abby told you about the past months…" Gibbs took a deep breath. It'd never been easy for him to talk about his feelings.

Gibbs, like Tony, was a reserved man and what Tony called 'Hallmark moments' weren't his forte. Luckily, Abby had saved him by already telling Tony everything he wanted to say in this moment. Now, he just needed to confirm her words. "She's right, Tony. What Abby said is all true."

Relief washed over Tony and he suddenly felt happy, safe and at peace. All doubts were gone and, despite the pain he was feeling and the hard moments he still needed to face, Tony knew that everything would be all right.

With his friends by his side, he could face the future without any fear or doubt.

Tony slowly removed the mask from his mouth and whispered, "Thank you."

Gibbs nodded and one of his rare smiles appeared on his face. "I'm sor—"

"No," Tony stopped him in quiet voice. "Enough with regrets and apologies. It's time to get our lives back."

Gibbs nodded solemnly. "But now it's time for you to sleep; you have surgery tomorrow," he stood up and, after hanging the oxygen mask on the wall, he smoothed Tony's covers over his chest and turned off the overhead light before sitting down on his recliner again.

In the dark, Tony said, "Gibbs, about Ziva..."

"Tomorrow, DiNozzo. Now sleep."

"On it, boss!" Tony answered and Gibbs' heart jumped in his chest.

For the first time in months, Tony had called him 'boss', giving him hope that they really could go back to old times.

_I wonder what Tony wanted to tell me about Ziva..._

* * *

Tim McGee was at his desk in the bullpen. Abby, Ducky and Palmer had left hours ago but the temporary SFA was still working on his report.

The investigations into the mysterious deaths of four sailors, the attack on American soil and the drug traffic linked to it, had started only a few days after Tony's funeral, so gathering all the information and giving it a logical order had become a huge job.

_I should have asked Abby to help me_, he sighed, rubbing his eyes and yawning.

He stopped and turned towards Tony's desk. _I still can't believe he's alive and that soon he'll be back as my SFA._

Tim shook his head and smiled.

_I guess you've used all of your remaining lives, DiNozzo, _he chuckled. _I need to talk to him and apologize for my arrogance. I thought I was better than you, Tony...but it's not true. I just hope we'll be able to get back our old friendship._

Tim's gaze shifted to Ziva's desk and a frustrated sign escaped his lips._ Why? Why Ziva? What she did is...is completely crazy. I knew she was violent but I thought she was able to control anger and direct it toward the people who really deserved it._

He threw the pen he was holding at his desk._ Damn! You do not hurt your teammates! You do not hurt your family! That's how we live and work!_

The phone on his desk rang. "McGee!" he barked into the receiver.

"Hey! Are you taking good manners lessons from Gibbs?" a male voice joked.

"Uhm... sorry," he replied, his tone calmer. "Who's speaking?"

"Kort. Bad night, McGee?" asked the CIA agent.

"Sort of. What can I do for you?"

"We've got a problem."

"Yeah, I know," Tim sighed, misunderstanding the older man's words.

"Ya know?" Trent asked, surprised.

"Yeah...wait! What problem are you talking about?"

"I'll email you all the details and the pics, but long story short: we're helping FBI, DEA and the border patrol in the surveillance of the USA-Mexican border in order to stop drug trafficking and illegal immigration."

"Yes," Tim nodded though Kort couldn't see him. "Why do _we _have a problem?"

"A few minutes ago, I got a report from border patrol. Yesterday, while they were processing a group of six people at the checkpoint twenty-nine miles north of Laredo on Interstate 35, two armored SUVs attacked them from behind."

"Was everyone okay?" he gasped.

"Only three men walked away alive."

"And our problem is..."

"There was a camera in the border patrol vehicle that caught the whole exchange on tape so they were able to isolate some photos from that. Unfortunately, the camera was damaged in the gunfight and only some images are clear."

"And?" Tim encouraged him, though he had the bad feeling that he wouldn't like what Kort was going to say.

"We ID'd three of the corpses. Mario Espinoza and Jorge Lopez were textiles exporters. They were travelling to a fabrics fair in Huston." Kort checked the report and then added, "Juan Soler was a mason who worked for Wayne Construction Company in San Antonio...he became an American citizen only five months ago... all honest workers with spotless criminal records," the CIA Agent said.

"I doubt you called me to talk about three honest Mexican workers killed at the USA-Mexico border, Kort."

"Yeah," the oder man sighed. "We have photos of two of the men who escaped with the shooters after the gunfight: Michel Dupont and Sean Napier, mercenaries who have been recently hired by Reynosa Cartel in Mexico."

Trent waited for any comment or question from the NCIS agent. When his words were met with silence, he added, "The third one..."

"What about him?" McGee interrupted, finally recovering from the initial shock.

"We only got two clear photos of his back..."

"What about his face?"

"Too damaged. CIA and FBI used all of their resources but _nada_. He's unrecognizable."

"Crap!"

"We showed Rosa and Franks the photos we got from the camera and they said that both Dupont and Napier were part of the group that abducted Franks' family."

"And the other guy?"

"They said he could be the mercenaries' leader, the man who beat Tony almost to death and tied a bomb to his wrist, but without a clear image of his face..." Kort trailed off.

"This can't be happening," Tim whispered.

"McGee, if Rosa and Franks are right, this man is Eric Portman. One of the most wanted man in the world. We knew that he was in Mexico, but we didn't know that Paloma Reynosa had hired him and his men," Kort's voice was so excited. "Portman has no family and has lived on the run for most of his life."

"We have two photos of him from when he joined Marine Corps to avoid prison. He was only seventeen and only God knows how he looks like today because he was disfigured in an explosion twelve years ago in Nicaragua. Doctors patched him up but he escaped from the hospital before they finished. After that, he became a ghost and anyone who sees his face ends up dead. Only his men know what he really looks like and they're hiding somewhere in Mexico."

"We can catch Napier and Dupont and force them to identify him," Tim suggested.

"Well, you _could_ do that," Kort sighed, "but I would have thought you'd be more concerned about the fact that Tony is the only person who doesn't work for Portman who has seen his face and lived. You and I both know Portman doesn't like leaving loose ends."

"You think that they're here to kill him," McGee said more as a statement than a question.

"Yes."

"We already have two agents guarding Tony's room and Gibbs is with him too but we certainly need to reinforce the surveillance. Thanks for the info, Kort."

"McGee, I suggest you to remove DiNozzo from the hospital and hide him somewhere safe."

"Tomorrow he has surgery for his cheekbone. Then we'll see what doctors say. Thanks again," Tim said as he picked up his cell and called Gibbs.

"Keep me informed," Kort said before hanging up.

Gibbs' cell was turned off so Tim grabbed his jacket and headed to Bethesda Hospital.

_I hope doctors give us permission to move Tony to a safe house._

* * *

McGee slowly opened Tony's door and entered the room.

Both the men in the room were sound asleep but, as soon as Tim stopped next to Tony's bed, Gibbs opened his eyes and glared at him.

"We've got a problem, Boss," the younger man whispered and headed back to the door.

Gibbs frowned as he stood up and followed McGee in the hall, leaving the door open in case Tony needed him. "What's going on, McGee?" he inquired.

"Kort called," Tim started and Gibbs raised his eyebrows at that name. "A check point on USA-Mexico border was attacked by two armored SUVs. All border patrol agents and three Mexicans were killed. Three other men escaped and Rosa and Franks identified two of them as part of team that tortured Tony and Mike." Tim paused to take a deep breath. "Their names are Dupont and Napier," he added as he checked his iPhone and showed Gibbs the photos Kort had emailed him.

The former Marine nodded as he pointed to Dupont. Then he asked, "You said there were three fugitives. What happened to the third one?"

"His name is Portman. The camera in the BP car was damaged, so we've only two pics of his back one of his face. Unfortunately it's too ruined to be useful. Rosa and Franks said that he could be the mercenaries' leader and the man who..." McGee trailed off and glanced pointedly at Tony.

"Son of a bi**h," Gibbs growled.

"Portman's a ghost, boss," Tim explained. "Kort said that all the alphabet agencies know his name but not one knows _who _is he today. So, unless you saw his face," McGee's eyes raised to look at Gibbs, full of hope, but the former Marine shook his head, "Tony's the only one who can identify him."

Gibbs' head snapped up and his eyes widened. "They're in US..."

"To finish the job." Tim nodded. "They're here to kill Tony," he concluded.

They turned to look at Tony who was sleeping peacefully, unaware of the danger he was in.

_I've got to keep him safe. _Gibbs thought._ I need to hide him somewhere safe yet secret...where?!_

TBC

* * *

Where could they go? Any suggestions for our guys? ;-)

See you on the next chapter. Don't forget to let me know what you thought about this one. Thank you! :-)


	52. Chapter 52

NB: I do not own anything of NCIS :(

I can't find the right words to thank all of you for your reviews, favorites and alerts! Love you all! :)

A big 'Grazie!' to my BR, USA123. You're great!

I'm sorry for the delay, but the wave of hate and anger that hit NCIS cast, their families and the crew after CdP left the show, blocked me. I even thought about quitting writing and the entire NCIS fandom.

Since I didn't ship Tiva and wasn't a Ziva fan, I was happy to read that the actress won't be back on the show, but I respect all of her fans who are really upset about her choice. Honestly I found some reactions exaggerated and disturbing, but who am I to judge other people's reactions?

What I find unacceptable and extremely nasty are all of those messages that insulted and even threatened the lives of the cast members and their families. People can be sad, upset and even desperate, but no one has the right to bash and threaten other people just because an actress decided to not renew her contract.

CdP decided to not come back and no one forced her to quit the show. Respect her decision and her ex-colleagues.

End of rant... Let's start with a new chapter! :-)

- Small note: if you think that this story is too long or you do not like it anymore, you can stop reading/reviewing whenever you want. I won't hold grudge against you. :-)

_**"Regrets and..."**_

_Chapter 51._

While Tony was sleeping, Gibbs, McGee and Director Morrow spent the night looking for a safe house that would allow the doctors to take care of Tony and give him a peaceful place to recover.

After eliminating all NCIS safe houses in DC, Maryland, Virginia and West Virginia, they decided to move their patient to the cabin that Gibbs' uncle owned in Rothrock State Park, where Gibbs and Jack had spent the days after Tony's funeral.

The cabin was on a hill, in the middle of a large meadow and was surrounded by a pine woods. Ten minutes walk from the house, there was a pond full of fish and a sparkling stream of cold, crystal clear water.

The wooden house had a kitchen, a large living room with a fireplace, three bathrooms and three large bedrooms in the back. Upstairs there was an attic that Uncle Bob used as storage but could host four beds.

It was a peaceful but lonely place: only silence, woods, animals, and fresh air that would be good for Tony's scarred lungs.

Despite the cabin being on a hill, it was hidden by the trees and thanks to its position, the neighbors were easy to monitor.

After Tony had been sedated, Brad performed a lung lavage and the surgeon removed the feeding tube in his stomach. Then Dr. Harris proceeded with the surgery on the cheekbone and the nasal septum.

Three hours after he had left his room, DiNozzo was settled back in his bed to sleep off the remaining effects of the anesthesia.

The first thing Tony noticed when consciousness broke through his foggy brain, were whispering voices...three voices.

Tony immediately recognized Ducky's gentle Scottish tone but the other two were indecipherable until one of the other men growled. _Gibbs!_

_So we've Ducky, Gibbs and..._

The voices grew louder and it became clear they were arguing._ Who has the guts to argue with Gibbs beside me?_

"He still needs medical assistance, Gibbs!" the unknown voice said.

_Brad?!_

"Jethro, Bradley is right. Our dear patient can't leave the hospital in his condition, especially after his surgery," Ducky's calm voice tried to reason.

"Duck..."

"What about his personal needs?" Brad pressed.

"What do you mean?" Gibbs asked.

"Jethro..." There was a pause before Ducky continued, "Bradley, would you mind if I explained this issue?"

"Sure, Dr. Mallard. Maybe you'll have more success than me," Brad's frustrated voice answered.

"Thank you...Jethro, Anthony still wears an adult diaper to prevent an accident if he has a seizure and I'm sure it's embarrassing enough when the nurse has to change it."

Unseen by the other men, Tony squeezed his eyes and blushed.

"He hasn't had a seizure since we brought him home and, if I know him as well as I think, I'm sure he's never used it and calls a nurse every time he needs to hit the head."

"Yeah," Brad softly admitted.

"See?!" Gibbs' annoyed voice exclaimed. "And if he can't can walk to the bathroom, he can use a bedpan or you can cath him 'till he can leave the bed and hit the head on his own," Gibbs replied.

"Who would empty them? You?" Brad raised his voice slightly. "Don't you think it would be extremely embarrassing for Tony?"

"I know Tony and I'm sure he'll recover quicker if he leaves."

"Yes, he'd push himself to his limits and compromise his recovery," Brad scoffed.

"Ducky will be there to stop him if he overdoes," Gibbs replied, completely confident in his friend's abilities.

"Jethro, you know how modest and private dear Anthony is when it comes to his health. He'll never let us help him with such issues and certainly he won't listen to me, if I..." Ducky tried to reason, but the former Marine's glare and stern voice stopped him.

"Duck," Gibbs took a deep breath to get his anger under control. "I'm not going to risk his life just to preserve his privacy... look at him!" he exclaimed in low tone but, to Tony, it sounded like a shout. "The men who did that to him are in US and looking to finish the job."

Tony's breath caught in his throat and a shiver ran down his spine. He gasped and the discussion immediately ended as Brad, Ducky and Gibbs rushed to his side.

"Tony?" Brad asked calmly as he checked his patient's vitals on the monitors.

"Anthony?" Ducky said softly as he stopped at the foot of the bed.

"Hey, Tony. Everything okay?" Gibbs' gruff but reassuring voice questioned.

DiNozzo slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times to clear his vision.

"Welcome back, Buckeye," Brad smiled at his friend but Tony's gaze was fixed on Gibbs.

Tony opened his mouth and grimaced in pain as that action pulled on his stitches. "Anthony, you can't talk. Remember?" Ducky gently reminded him, but Tony didn't even look at him.

"Are you in pain?" Gibbs asked and Tony shook his head no.

They looked at each other for a few seconds before Gibbs understood. "You heard us, didn't you?"

Tony nodded.

"Yes," Gibbs sighed. "They're here and you're the only one who can recognize the man we think is their boss."

Tony gulped and his heartbeat quickened.

"Tony, you need to calm down or I'll have to sedate you," Brad said as he grabbed Tony's wrist to check his heart beat.

Tony jerked his hand away from the doctor's hold and gave him a trademarked Gibbs' glare. Then he turned back to his boss.

"It's too soon! You should have waited for my permission to give him this news!" Brad angrily snapped at Gibbs.

"You're upsetting Anthony, Jethro," Ducky admonished.

Completely ignoring both of them, Gibbs locked eyes with Tony. "I want to get you out of here."

Tony nodded. "I want to take you to a cabin by a lake in Pennsylvania," Gibbs explained and saw a small smirk appear on Tony's face. "What?!" he asked as he looked to Brad for clarification.

The younger doctor was wearing the same grin while shaking his head. "_Cabin by the Lake_ is a horror movie, Gibbs. You've just made a movie refence."

Gibbs glared at the younger men and heard Ducky chuckle.

"Brad and Ducky think you should stay here and..." Gibbs began but was interrupted by Tony forcefully shaking his head. "You've heard that part too, haven't you?" After another nod from his SFA, Gibbs asked Brad and Ducky for a moment alone with his agent.

As soon as the doctors had left, Gibbs fed Tony some ice chips which the younger man greedily swallowed, then he raised Tony's bed a bit so he could sit on it.

"We need to talk," Gibbs began but, when Tony glared at him, he realized his mistake and a small smile appeared on his concerned face. "I need to know what you think about my plan. I'm not going to force you to leave the hospital if you don't feel up to it," the older man raised his eyebrows and added, "If you feel safer and more comfortable here, we'll have an army of agents protecting you and I won't leave this room for any reason."

Tony nodded and a small smirk appeared on his face. He had no doubt Gibbs' would never leave his side if he stayed here.

It was so frustrating to not be able to talk and work out a plan with his boss. Tony sighed in frustration and mimed to Gibbs he wanted to write. Gibbs handed him his pad and a pencil, then stood and moved by Tony's side so he could read what his SFA was writing.

_"Who's here?"_

"McGee said their names are Dupont and Napier. The first one was with the man who beat you the last time before tying a bomb to your..." Gibbs stopped because Tony was already writing again.

_"U think they're here 2 kill me?"_

Tony looked at Gibbs who nodded so he wrote,_ "The personal stuff U were talking about with D."_

Gibbs was going to speak but Tony shook his head and kept scribbling.

_"Would U help me?" _Tony looked at Gibbs again, hope and fear of being rejected clear in green eyes.

Gibbs gently took Tony's face in his hands and said, "You don't need to ask. I'll help you with anything you need," Gibbs smiled softly. "And I'm sure you'd do the same for me."

Tony nodded, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"But we'll need Ducky's help too," Gibbs continued. He let go of Tony's face and added, "I really hope you can start talking again soon, DiNozzo."

Tony's eyebrows furrowed as he waited for Gibbs to finished.

"Kate was right-your writing looks like hieroglyphics!" he smirked and saw Tony glaring at him and writing furiously.

Gibbs took a look at his pad in Tony's lap and, to his great surprise, he saw that Tony hadn't written any words but had drawn 'a certain finger'. The former Marine couldn't help but give Tony a soft head slap and laugh, "Crude...but effective."

Tony grunted something that sounded like a nice invitation to go to an unpleasant place.

Gibbs glared at his SFA good-naturedly and asked, "Ready for your doctors' lecture?" At Tony's thumb up, he opened the door and announced, "He's made a decision."

"So, you finally listened to your doc and you're going to stay here in the hospital," Brad confident said as he approached his patient's bed.

"I'm afraid you are wrong, my dear colleague," Ducky calmly stated. "Anthony is going to follow his boss to Pennsylvania and there is nothing you can do or say to make him change his mind." The ME looked at Tony and a soft smile appeared on his face.

"No way!" Brad exclaimed. "DiNozzo, you've always been a stubborn and pigheaded, but this time you've got to listen to me. You can't leave this hospital," he looked straight into Tony's eyes and, realizing that his words weren't have any effect on his friend, he added, "Who's going to clean your wounds and bandage them?"

Tony's eyes shifted towards Ducky and the older man nodded.

"I thought you were my ally, Dr. Mallard!" Pitt exclaimed.

"I am and that is why I won't take my eyes off Anthony for even a minute and why I will make him follow all your instructions without exception," the ME answered with a sly grin on his face.

"But Doctor, I..."

"I am sorry Brad but I know Jethro and his protective nature, especially when it comes to Anthony," Ducky shot Gibbs a knowing look and the Marine wisely didn't argue. "Pit yourself against Jethro and Anthony together and you will never win."

"So?" Gibbs and Brad asked, while Tony growled.

"Chose the battles you can win and find a way to trick your enemies in all of the other moments of the war," the wise doctor explained. "We may have lost this battle but we can still win the war."

Gibbs and Tony rolled their eyes and sighed, realizing that Ducky would be fussing over every little thing they'd do in the next weeks.

Brad asked, "Sun Tzu?"

"No, my mother," Ducky smiled while Tony and Gibbs chuckled.

"Your mother was very wise, Duck!" Gibbs exclaimed.

"Yes, Jethro, yes she was. And she loved both of you so I can't disappoint her by not taking care of her favorite gigolo-furniture mover and her charming Gibbs with blue eyes," he smirked.

Tony drew their attention by raising a hand. Then wrote something on the pad and showed it to Ducky. The older man nodded slowly touched by Tony's words. "Thank you, my dear lad," he whispered as he squeezed the younger man's shoulder.

"Okay," Brad finally agreed. "Dr. Mallard, please follow me. You'll need quite a few items to properly care for Tony," he said as they both left the room.

Gibbs dragged over a chair and, when his friend closed his eyes, read what Tony had"told" Ducky. "I'm sure your mom is proud of you. Thanks for understanding and taking care of me."

_You're something else, DiNozzo._

Tony's soft snores filled the room as he fell asleep, exhausted but with a smile on his battered face.

_Sleep. You-we-are going to have an exciting day tomorrow...I just hope I'm doing the right thing..._

* * *

Tony slept the whole night and woke up at the crack of dawn. Gibbs was sleeping on the recliner next to his bed and the younger man couldn't be more grateful to have the former Marine in his life. No one, except his mother, had ever been so deeply concerned with his welfare and safety.

Lori silently entered the room and Tony greeted her with a smile.

"I've heard you're going to leave us," she whispered to not disturb Gibbs.

Tony nodded as his smile grew wider.

"We'll miss you," she joked and started their morning routine. "As soon as your boss will leave the room, we'll get rid of that," she reassured her patient, gesturing with her head towards the adult diaper. A sweet smile graced her face when she heard Tony's sign of relief.

Lori proceeded to give her patient a bed bath and cleaned his wounds. "They're healing very well. Do they still hurt?"

Tony whispered a soft 'no'. "No talking," she scolded him good-naturedly as she bandaged his deeper wounds. "Your doctors would like you to try to walk before leaving the hospital," Lori informed him.

Tony looked at his favorite nurse as if she had two heads, so she added, "The sprain on your ankle was mild, so they think you can walk a bit with some help."

The nurse put her equipment on her cart, helped Tony to drink some water and checked his NG tube. "So you'll be able to go to the bathroom," she winked.

Tony's smile reached his ears and he pointed to the NG tube.

"You want to get rid of this too, don't you?" she asked and, when DiNozzo nodded vehemently, she said, "I know that Dr. Harris wanted to remove the stitches in your mouth before removing the NG tube, but now that you're going to leave the hospital maybe he'll change his plans."

Lori looked straight into Tony eyes and grinned. "Especially if you promise to behave and not talk."

Tony raised his hand made the 'scout's honor' sign.

"Good boy," she laughed softly before leaving the room.

"So, you're going to walk a bit today," Gibbs' groggy voice made Tony jump in the bed. He turned and glared at his boss.

Gibbs grinning back at him as he stood up and stretched. "Good morning, DiNozzo!"

Tony nodded his 'good morning' at Gibbs' big yawn.

"I've talked to McGee and Director Morrow last night," he started. "Early this afternoon, we're going to fly on a Navy Medical Helo to St. Margaret Memorial Hospital Heliport, in Pittsburg, and from there an ambulance, masked as an anonymous van, will take us to my Uncle Bob's cabin," he explained as he entered the bathroom to take care of his business. "McGee, Ducky, Abby and my dad will come with us," he added as flushed the toilet, washed his hands and he looked at his tired face in the mirror. "Three NCIS Agents and three FBI Agents are already there to secure the area."

The team leader walked back into the room where he found Tony writing something on his pad. He approached the bed and read the note.

_"Rosa, Amira, Leyla and Mike?"_ Tony looked up at Gibbs.

"FBI safe house."

_"R U sure?"_

"Yes," he nodded.

_"U and Mike?"_

Gibbs gave Tony a deadly look and walked away from the bed. "Leave it alone, DiNozzo," he growled.

Tony wrote something quickly and held up the pad so Gibbs could read.

Squinting, the older man read, _"He's UR friend."_

"You're in that bed because of him! You died...I thought you were dead because of his recklessness," Gibbs stopped at the foot of the bed. "He left you dying in that damn house, Tony!" he shouted.

_"I told him to." _Tony widened his eye and growled.

"Bullsh*t! He shouldn't listen to you! It's Mike's fault you were captured. He didn't listen to you when you tried to stop him...he," Gibbs was so frustrated that he lacked the breath to express his feelings. "Mike followed those bastards without you...he went on mission without back-up!"

Tony huffed and rolled his eyes. "You do the same all the time," he hissed through clenched teeth and regretted it immediately as the motion of talking yanked on his stitches and hurt like hell. He did his best to not show his pain.

Gibbs was too pi**ed off with his SFA and also knew that, in the moment, Tony was too angry and didn't want his concern, so the former Marine pretended he hadn't seen Tony grimace and asked, "What do ya want me to do? Forgive him?!"

Tony answered with a firm nod.

"The hell I will!"

Tony threw the pad against the wall and mumbled something that sounded like an insult.

"I need a coffee," Gibbs sighed as he headed to the door and jerked it open, almost running into Abby. "Hi, Gibbs!" she happily greeted him.

"Hi," he muttered and headed towards the elevator.

"Trouble in paradise?" Abby asked, entering the room.

Tony grunted as Abby picked up the pad and placed it on his lap.

"Tell Abby," she winked and Tony started immediately writing.

_Men!_ Abby thought, smirking.

* * *

Gibbs entered Tony's room just in time to see his friend trying to stand with the help of two nurses (a man and a woman).

"Come on! You can do it!" the older nurse encouraged him.

"I know it's hard after being in bed for so long and with all of your injuries, but you can do it, sweetheart," the second nurse coached.

Tony was panting like he had run ten miles without stopping. Behind them Abby was pushing Tony's IV pole and suffering with her friend.

When she saw Gibbs enter the room, the sweet Goth signed _Do something! Help him! _The Boss just nodded and moved in front of Tony who hadn't taken a step yet.

The younger man's eyes lifted to meet his and Gibbs' heart broke. Though he was pleased to see that the swelling around Tony's eye had subsided a bit, that he could catch a glimpse of green, and that the NG tube had been removed, the plea for help in Tony's eyes was physically painful to watch. Tony's face was wet with sweat, but Gibbs was sure there were some tears among the drops rolling down on his SFA's cheeks.

"No," Tony whispered barely audible as he leaned forward. "Can't!" If he nurses hadn't kept him upright, he would have fallen flat on his face.

At that moment, Brad and Ducky entered the room and instantly noticed Abby's watering eyes.

"How's he doing?" Brad whispered.

"He's not ready," Abby answered in low tone. "Stop it, please."

"Let Jethro try," Ducky adviced as he gestured with his head.

The three of them looked at the team leader who was still standing in front of Tony. "Could you help him sit on the bed, please?" he asked the nurses.

"No, sir. He needs to..." the older nurse answered but was interrupted by Dr. Pitt's voice.

"That's fine," said the doctor. "Let him catch his breath."

Both nurses followed the doctor's orders and then left the room. "We'll be in the hallway," Ducky said as he followed Brad out the door.

Abby stopped to pick her bag up but, when she was about to leave, Gibbs asked her to stay. "May I, Tony?" she asked and was happy when Tony nodded.

Gibbs sat down in front of Tony. "You don't think you can do it?" he asked, but it was more of a statement than a question.

Tony's shoulders slumped forward in defeat as he shook his head. "Tony, you _can_ do this," Gibbs said softly.

DiNozzo looked at him, frowned, and shook his head again. "Yes!" Gibbs raised his voice. "_You_ can."

Abby sat next to Tony and draped one arm over his shoulders. "You're the man who beat the plague," she whispered as she kissed his head. "This is a walk into the park in comparison," she added and felt Tony lean in her embrace.

"Abs is right," Gibbs agreed but, when he saw doubts in Tony's expression, he added. "Do you wanna leave this hospital?"

Tony nodded, a small spark of determination shining in his green eyes.

"You need to walk a bit or Brad won't let you leave this bed," Abby said.

"In a few hours we can be in a large cabin in the woods. No antiseptic smell or nurses that bathe you," Gibbs smirked and saw Tony doing the same. "Think about it, Tony. A real bed, fresh air, your own bathroom and a real shower."

"And we'll all be there to help you heal," Abby added.

Tony sighed heavily but a smile told Gibbs that he had hit the nail on the head.

"I've heard Jack and Ducky planning many soft but very tasty dishes and..." Abby gave her friend a mischievous grin. "I've called my Aunt Rosemary and she gave me the recipe of her special custard."

Tony's eyes widened and his once-forced smile stretched to his ears.

Seeing Gibbs' puzzled look, she explained, "It's the custard that my Aunt made for my birthday and Mr. DiNozzo here, ate the entire bowl."

Tony growled and glared at her. "Yeah, you're right. Not the entire bowl. He left me two spoonfuls: very small spoonfuls."

"Tell me about this custard," Gibbs winked at Abby as he slowly wrapped his right arm around Tony's waist and put his left hand under Tony's elbow. He felt his friend tense and whispered, "Let us do all the work. Lean on me and just think about putting one foot in front of the other."

The SFA grunted but did as Gibbs had told him, allowing his friends to help him stand. On his right, Abby had a hand under his elbow and was pushing the IV pole. "Ya know, Gibbs. My Aunt Rose's custard is just normal custard until she add her secret ingredients."

"I'm sure Tony knows them," Gibbs teased the younger man as he took his first step. "Good," he praised.

Tony was too focused on walking to acknowledge Gibbs' compliment. He felt stronger with both of his best friends by his side but... _Damn! It's so hard!_

"Yes, Tony knows so I guess I've got to share with you too, Boss."

"You guessed right!" Gibbs glared at her good-naturedly._ Come Tony! You can do it! As soon as you can eat real food, we'll eat steak and pizza until you're stuffed. You're too thin... Geez! I can feel your ribs on your back!_

"She adds cinnamon and drops of lime and tangerine juice. It's delicious, Gibbs!"

"I'm sure it is!" Gibbs smiled and felt Tony leaning on him a bit more. "Do you wanna stop?" he asked, concerned.

Tony shook his head and kept walking. "Okay, we walk to the bathroom and back. Deal?" Gibbs asked and Tony agreed.

"So, Gibbs. How is this cabin by the lake? Dead women in the water and other nice things?" Abby teased as she followed the men.

"What?!" Gibbs looked at her as if she was completely crazy.

Tony abruptly stopped and, despite Gibbs' efforts to keep them both upright, he crashed into his SFA, who groaned as his shoulder collided with his boss'. "If you wanted to stop DiNozzo, all you had to do was say something," Gibbs growled, glaring at his friend.

"Movie," Tony explained, hissing through clenched teeth.

"Oh."

"Yeah," Abby grinned.

Behind them, McGee opened the door and entered the room unnoticed.

"No, no drowned women. Just trees, meadows, animals, a stream that flows into a big lake and lots of fresh air," Gibbs described as they stopped in front of the bathroom door.

"Do you need to hit the head?" he asked Tony who nodded.

Gibbs opened the door and helped Tony to enter. "I think I'm going to see if Ducky needs me to buy some medical stuff," Abby said as she turned to give Tony some privacy. "Ya know, I don't like to look at men attending their business."

"Because you're not Ziva," McGee calmly said as he approached his friends.

Tony chuckled while Gibbs and Abby exclaimed, "WHAT?!" and looked back and forth between him and McGee.

* * *

That afternoon a Navy Helo flew from Bethesda Hospital to St. Margaret Memorial Hospital in Pittsburgh, where a fake van and an SUV were waiting for Tony, Gibbs, McGee, Ducky, Jack and Abby.

McGee drove the SUV with Abby, Ducky and Jack, while Gibbs got into the ambulance (masked as a van) with Tony.

Dr. Pitt had given his patient a sedative so Tony slept for the entire flight and woke only after the landing, when they were about to leave the hospital helipad.

Three hours after the landing in Pennsylvania, while the others were getting settled, Gibbs helped Tony take his first shower since his abduction before Ducky disinfected and dressed his wounds. Gibbs did a d*mn good job of distracting him throughout the process by making plans to take him fishing after he'd healed so, taking a shower with his best friend's help, wasn't as embarrassing as Tony had originally thought.

By the end of Ducky's ministrations, Tony was so exhausted that he collapsed onto the real bed and slept for three hours, waking just in time for a dinner of mashed potatoes and a thick shake that smelled suspiciously like grilled chicken.

"Yuck!" Tony exclaimed in disgust, just before receiving a (soft) head slap and a strict "Eat! Don't talk!" from his boss.

"If you eat all of your baby food, you can have some apple sauce with ice cream," Jack offered. Tony finished his meal without further complaints.

The older Gibbs knew that apple sauce with ice cream was one of his son's favorite desserts since he was a child, so he teased, "It's just for Tony."

Leroy's blue eyes widened and he glared at his dad. "Why?! I..."

"I told you to buy more ice cream, but you never listen to me, Leroy. Tony can eat only soft food. He needs to put some meat on his bones and Ducky, Abby and I have decided to spoil him to death."

"As if he needs it!" Gibbs scoffed.

"And speed his recovery," Jack raised his voice slightly, giving his son a strict "don't argue" look.

Gibbs turned to Tony who was sitting next to him and was regaled with one of the brightest DiNozzo grins ever. He looked around the room and saw everyone else grinning. He made eye contact with Abby, who immediately burst out laughing, and everyone else soon followed suit.

It was their first real laugh in a very long time.

_Everything is gonna be okay,_ they thought in unison.

**Motel on I-81 near Tennessee-Virginia state border.**

"WHAT?!" Portman barked into his cell. "What do ya mean she's not here?"

Dupont and Napier shot up in bed before exchanging a dark glance.

"That's what I thought...and the woman and her daughter?" Portman asked, still fuming. "Yeah...Great!" he exclaimed sarcastically as he angrily knocked over the chair next to him. "Did you at least find DiNozzo?"

Dupont stood up and picked up the chair while Napier lay back down.

"He's the only one who...exactly...I still can't believe he survived," he exhaled loudly. "Yes...Okay," Portman hung up.

"So?" Dupont asked as he sat on his bed.

"Morales talked to Rivera who said DiNozzo was admitted to Bethesda Naval Hospital," Portman answered as he spread a map over the small table that sat in right corner of their room and examined it.

"How far?" Napier asked.

"Less than 400 miles," his boss answered. "Tomorrow, we drive there and kill him," he hissed.

"Is it that easy?" Napier asked and exchanged a doubtful look with Dupont.

Portman just glared at both of them, causing shivers to run down their spines.

"What if he's not there?" the French man asked.

"Why wouldn't he be there?" Portman asked, a bit surprised by the question.

"His people risked their lives to save him. Rivera said his Boss is a former Gunnery Sergeant, that he fought in Desert Storm and in Panama, and that he views DiNozzo as a son...What's his boss' name?"

"Gibbs," Napier replied.

"Yeah. Gibbs will keep him safe at all costs."

"So your point is..." Portman trailed off.

"They're Feds. They work for the Navy and they certainly know FBI and CIA Agents. If we know where he is, it's very likely they know about the incident at the border. They could even have photos of us all."

"So you think they moved DiNozzo to a safer place?" Napier asked and received a nod.

Portman stood up and started pacing the small room. Suddenly he stopped and growled, "I don't care where they hid him! I want him dead! I'll search for him for the rest of my life, even if it is the last thing I do."

_You'll die, DiNozzo. I'll kill you with my own two hands._

TBC

* * *

Please let me know what you think. Reviews make me happy! Thank you. :)

Notes:

- _Cabin by the Lake_ is a horror movie starring Michael Weatherly.

- Sun Tzu was an ancient Chinese military general, strategist, and philosopher.


	53. Chapter 53

NB: I do not own anything of NCIS :(

I can't find the right words to thank all of you for your reviews, favorites and alerts! Love you all! :)

A special thanks to my very good friend/translator Sorgina for her precious help :)

A big 'Grazie!' to my BR, USA123. You're great!

There is a new site for all NCIS fans who want to talk about the show in peace, without arguing :) If you think you're able to agree to disagree and respect other people's opinions, this is the right place for you: ncisworld _dot_ freeforums _dot_ net _slash_ index _dot_ cgi

"Regrets and..."

Chapter 52.

As Gibbs had predicted, Tony's recovery sped up once he was out of the hospital.

A week after arriving at the cabin, NCIS secretly brought Dr. Harris and Dr. Pitt to St. Margaret Memorial Hospital in Pittsburgh where they checked on Tony, removed the stiches in his mouth and gave him permission to talk and chew.

Just after Tony, Gibbs, McGee and the other Agents returned to the cabin, Abby, Ducky and Jack started coddling and spoiling DiNozzo like a little child, and, since he was now able to chew, the 'put meat on Tony's bones' mission was begun.

Abby's cakes, cookies and hugs; Ducky's weird and interesting stories, plus his medical knowledge; and Jack's succulent dishes did wonders and when Tony ate two full plates of his Stroganoff, the older man regaled him with one of his brightest smiles ever.

Overall, Tony was able to take care of his needs by himself with the exception of dressing and undressing, because some of his wounds still hurt like hell... especially after Ducky had disinfected them twice a day.

In those moments, Tony still felt tears in his eyes but the only person who was allowed to see those tears was Gibbs. The former Marine was always there when Tony needed tough love and distraction.

He was also there for all of Tony's nightmares, which were increasing in frequency. Now that the younger man was more relaxed, everything he had been through in Mexico came crashing down on him full force. Some nights Tony was afraid of closing his eyes because of the horrible dreams he knew would torment him.

During the first few days, Tony slept alone in the only room with a double bed, Gibbs and Jack shared the second room, Ducky took the third, Abby slept on the sofa-bed and McGee shared in the attic with the other agents while the night shift was on duty. But after Tony woke the entire house with his screams for the third time, Gibbs moved into Tony's room. Now Abby had her own room while Ducky and Jack shared the other one. And Tony and Gibbs shared the double bed.

"Boss... uhm...I'm not complaining but...ya know...you're not my type," Tony had said hesitantly the first time he had seen Gibbs getting comfortable beside him.

Gibbs had regaled him with one of his infamous glare. "Would you prefer me sleeping on the armchair or on the floor, DiNozzo?" he had asked.

"No, Boss! But...what if... I mean...during the night, I roll and...what if, while I'm sleeping, I hug you or something?" Tony had asked, blushing.

"Don't," Gibbs had growled.

"On it, Boss!"

But despite Gibbs' order, one morning Abby entered the room with Ducky and Jack, carrying coffee for Tony and Gibbs, and found DiNozzo literally sprawled across the bed with an arm around Gibbs' waist. The Marine was lying on the edge of the bed and glaring at them.

"Do not say a word," he hissed and received three nods in response, even though the comers of their mouths lifted slightly in amused grins.

Seconds later, they had all burst into laughter as Tony, still asleep, said, "On it, Boss."

These were the good times but then the nightmares arrived and everything became painful and scary.

One particular night, Gibbs woke and stared blearily at the clock on the night stand. _Three. What woke—_

A muffled noise made him turn to his right. It was such a quiet sound that it probably would have gone unheard under any other circumstance. He listened more carefully and, when Tony shifted slightly, the older man understood. "Oh, DiNozzo," he whispered, rubbing his tired face with his hand.

Tony was curled up on the edge of the bed, crying. It was a soft, mewling cry that broke Gibbs' heart. As weird as it sounded, Gibbs preferred when Tony had what Ducky had called 'loud nightmares'. He preferred hearing Tony shout and seeing him fight. In those moments, the former Marine could hold Tony down and stop his friend's struggling.

But tonight, the only thing Gibbs could do was drag Tony into his arms and cradle him like a child, hoping the younger man would hear his comforting words and feel his paternal hug.

"Shhhhh...Tony, you're safe...stop crying, son," he whispered into his friend's ear. "The pain is over now...all the bad things you experienced are over."

Tony's breath hitched and he weakly tried to free himself from Gibbs' embrace, but the older man resisted. "Shhhhh...no, Tony...it's Gibbs, you're safe...we're in the cabin on the mountain... shhhhh...tomorrow, we're going fishing... remember?"

Though he was still fast asleep, Tony took a deep breath and relaxed slightly. "I know it's hard, but..." Gibbs swallowed hard in attempt to stop the tears that were filling his eyes. "You'll be fine...everything will be fine again."

Gibbs ruffled Tony's sweaty hair and gently kissed his head. "I'll always have your six, Tony."

Tony, who had woken up just in time to hear Gibbs' last words, sniffled and whispered. "When?"

Tony's voice surprised Gibbs but the older man recovered quickly and asked, "'When's what?"

"When is it going to end?"

"I don't know, Tony," his boss answered honestly. "But it will and I'll be by your side for every step. We'll get through this together. Okay?" He felt Tony nod against his chest. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Tony shook his head.

"Tony, you should... I can help you."

"I know but I don't remember anything. Only that I was scared and felt alone. It was dark and cold...and then hot...and I was hurting everywhere...I couldn't stop it...I wanted to come back, but I didn't know how." Tony's voice cracked and Gibbs tightened his hug.

"It's okay, Tony. Someday you'll remember... or maybe you won't. Either way, we'll get you through this." Gibbs said gently. "Now, lay down. I'll get you some water," Gibbs added as he helped Tony get comfortable under the blanket.

"Gibbs, you don't..." Tony tried to stop him, but his friend was already in the hallway, heading toward the kitchen.

Gibbs returned a few moments later to find Tony staring through the window at the starry sky. "Here, drink," he ordered.

"Thank you," Tony did as Gibbs said then put the glass on the nightstand.

"How are you doing?" Gibbs asked as he crawled under the covers.

"I just wish I could forget the whole thing," Tony muttered without taking his eyes off the night sky.

_I wish you could too, DiNozzo_. Gibbs thought before repeating, "You will get through this."

Tony finally looked at him, surprised by his boss' certainty. "How can you be so sure?"

"Because I know you and you're one of the strongest men I've ever met." Tony gave him a doubtful look. "You contradicting me, DiNozzo?" Gibbs challenged, glaring at his SFA.

For the first time in a very long while, Tony grinned. "Never, boss." He looked out the window again. "Thanks, Gibbs," he said sotto voce.

"Anytime, Tony," Gibbs answered and Tony could hear a warm smile in those two words.

"Boss, I was thinking about tomorrow... I mean, you, McGee, me and fishing..."

"Yes?"

"I've never gone fishing and... ya, know..."

"What?"

"The worm on the hook... I... I hate worms," he whined. "I know I won't be able to put the worm on the hook. Will you do it for me?" he turned to Gibbs, his eyes playfully pleading.

A firm head slap connected with Tony's nape. It was the first real head slap Gibbs had given him since his return from Mexico and that familiar gesture gave Tony the certainty that, with time and his friends' help, he would get through this.

"Thanks, Boss," he smiled.

"My pleasure," Gibbs nodded. "Now sleep!"

"On it, Boss!"

* * *

**Next morning - Washington DC**

After traveling for the most part of the night, Portman, Dupont and Napier arrived in DC and met one of Rivera's contacts in a deserted alley behind a cemetery.

His name was Rinaldo and he would have scared Hannibal Lecter with his ruthless-looking face. He told them that Gibbs and his people had left DC a few days before and no one knew where they were. All of their houses were empty but none of the cars were missing.

It seemed like the entire team had just vanished…except for one member who was still in DC.

"Who?" Portman asked.

"Agent Ziva David," Rinaldo answered after checking his notes.

"A woman..." Portman said intrigued.

"Israeli name," Napier pointed out.

"Yes," Rinaldo nodded. "Rivera says she's a former Mossad Officer."

"Mon Dieux!" Dupont exclaimed. "Very dangerous," he grinned.

"Don't care!" Portman growled. "Where does she live?"

Rinaldo gave them Ziva's address and some information about her habits, then left.

"So? What are we going to do now?" Napier asked.

"We follow this woman and she'll lead us to DiNozzo," Portman answered.

"Are you sure? I mean, if NCIS is hiding him, I really doubt she'll contact them," Dupont pointed out and Napier nodded in agreement.

"The number of surveillance cameras in DC is limiting our options. We've got to use what we already have...and what we have is this David. Rivera said Gibbs' team is like a family so, sooner or later, she'll take us to them."

His friends nodded in agreement, though they still had some doubts.

"Now we need a place to stay not far from the Navy Yard," Portman said as they got into their car and drove away from the cemetery.

* * *

After a shower and a hearty breakfast, Tony, McGee and Gibbs left the cabin and went fishing at the lake. Abby refused to go with them because she didn't want to see them "killing some poor innocent fish", even though Gibbs pointed out that she was ready to eat them once Ducky and Jack had cleaned and cooked them.

McGee and the other agents had already checked the area but Gibbs asked the team to stay close, but hidden, to guarantee Tony a relaxing day.

Tony, Tim and Gibbs were having the most relaxing and carefree morning they had had in years as they were all concentrating on being the first one to catch a fish.

They were listening to the birds' chirping and the gurgling of the stream not far from them. The air was fresh and clear and they were sharing a comfortable silence, lost in their thoughts.

Suddenly, Tony's rod started moving. Something was pulling the line and Tony had a hard time maintaining his grip. "I got one, Boss!" he exclaimed as excited as a child.

"You definitely did, Tony!" Gibbs rushed over to help his friend.

"Wow! It must be big, Tony!" Tim exclaimed, stepping next to his friends.

"Huge, Probie! It's huge!" Tony grinned.

Gibbs quickly taught Tony how to loosen and pull the line. After five minutes of an 'epic battle' (as Tony called it), DiNozzo with Gibbs' help was able to get a definitely huge fish out of the water.

"The net, McGee!" the Boss ordered.

When the fish was finally in the large bucket of water they had brought with them, Tony happily collapsed on the grass, smiling like a maniac. "Wow! I didn't think fishing was so exciting!" he laughed.

"Me neither!" Tim collapsed next to him with a happy grin on his face.

Gibbs was smiling too, seeing his boys so relaxed and Tony finally acting like their DiNozzo again.

"What kind of fish is that?" Tony asked, admiring his catch.

"It's a trout," McGee answered.

"Thank you, McScout," Tony quipped.

"I used to go fishing when I was a boy scout but I've never caught a fish that big."

"Because you're not me," Tony winked.

"Beginner's luck," growled Gibbs and McGee nodded his agreement.

Just before midday, the fishermen went back to the cabin, carrying a bucket full of trout and white perch. They had all caught other fish, but none were as big as Tony's. DiNozzo was smiling happily and couldn't stop telling whoever wanted (and didn't want) to listen all the details of his adventure. They decided to save the fish for dinner so the cooks had time to clean them.

For lunch they had some delicious spaghetti alla puttanesca, salad, bread and fruit. Now they were sitting outside, Ducky and Jack were playing chess while Abby, Tim, Gibbs and Tony were relaxing on recliners. Tim was reading a book, Abby was trying to knit a scarf, and Tony and Gibbs were just enjoying the silence and the sun.

"Tony?" Gibbs called softly.

"Mmmm?"

"Are you sleeping?"

"No," Tony answered with his eyes still closed but, when his boss didn't say anything else, the younger man opened them and slowly turned toward Gibbs. "What's going on, Gibbs?"

"We need to talk."

"I don't like the sound of that…" Tony replied hesitantly.

"I don't want to upset you. Today has been a good day and I don't want..."

"Gibbs," Tony turned a bit more towards his boss. "Please, stop treating me like a crystal vase. I'm trying to get back to the real me, but it'll never happen if you all keep seeing me as a weak baby," Tony said, gently but seriously.

McGee and Abby pretended they hadn't heard, while Ducky and Jack shared a significant look before returning to their game.

"Maybe we should talk about it in private."

"Nah!" Tony shrugged. "What do you need to ask me?" Tony asked calmly, getting comfortable on the recliner and closing his eyes as he faced the sun.

Gibbs shook his head, pleased to see that Tony was stronger than they thought. He took a deep breath and began, "Before your surgery, you were about to tell me something about Ziva..."

"Mmmm..."

"What were you going to say?"

Tony didn't immediately answer. He was aware that not only Gibbs but all of his friends were listening to him and he wanted them to understand how he really felt but, at the same time, he didn't want to upset them or sound like a man looking for baseless revenge.

Abby, Ducky, Jack and McGee exchanged puzzled looks before Tony finally said, "I don't want Ziva on our team anymore." His tone was calm and soft but his words had the effect of an explosion.

Five heads shot up, everyone looking at him in shock.

"Why?" Gibbs asked cautiously. He agreed with Tony but wanted to know the younger man's reasons.

"You told me she asked you to choose between her and me. I don't think I can trust her anymore. I can't work with her after she tried to steal, not only my job, but my family too," Tony finally opened his eyes and looked at all of his friends.

"Maybe, I'm sounding childish but...but after what I've been through in..." he swallowed hard. "In Mexico, I need to trust the people I live and work with. I trust all of you with my life but I don't trust her anymore. If you had chosen her, I would have lost everything I had. You guys and my job are who I am. If you had chosen Ziva...I'd have lost myself."

Tony was afraid to see disapproval in everyone's eyes but he just saw love and understanding. It seemed that Gibbs, Ducky, Abby, Tim and even Jack understood his feelings and that fact gave Tony the strength to continue.

"I've had a lot of time to think lately and, though I was the one who wanted to give her another chance, now..." he paused for a long moment. "You've all done so much for me. Seeing your reaction when I told you what happened in Israel made me understand that I made a mistake—"

"No! She was wrong to attack you! You..." Abby exclaimed angrily but Gibbs' glare ended her rant immediately.

Tony regaled Abby with a soft smile and added, "Abs, I made a mistake because I didn't report her. I made her believe that what she had done during the Rivkin case and then in Israel was right. I should have stopped her right there. This is my fault. Maybe if I had stopped her, she would respect me more...I don't know."

He stopped for another few seconds to gather his thoughts. "Maybe in the future I'll be able to trust her again, but right now...I can't."

He looked straight in Gibbs' eyes and added, "I'm not asking you to fire her. If you want to keep her in your team, I understand. You took her back so you—"

"Don't say another word," Gibbs interrupted. "I took her back on the team because I didn't know what had happened in Israel and because..." he took a deep breath. "I let her manipulate me. But it'll never happen again."

The former Marine cleared his throat, trying to get rid of the lump that was quickly forming. "You're my SFA and my..."

"I know," Tony said sotto voce.

"As soon as I knew about her assault, I wanted to fire her but you asked me to give her another chance. Now, I'm glad to see that you finally got your sanity back," he smirked and Tony frowned good-naturedly.

"So Ziva is out?" Abby clarified.

"Yes!" The boss answered.

"I feel sorry for her but she can't mess up our family," McGee stated and the others were surprised by his cold glare. He left his recliner and stopped next to Tony, squeezing his friend (and brother)'s shoulder reassuringly. "Can't wait to work as a three-man team."

"Three men all for me!" Abby joked, causing Jack and Ducky to burst out laughing.

"ABS!" Gibbs, McGee and Tony exclaimed before joining everyone in a good laugh.

A few minutes later, Gibbs took his burner phone from his pocket and called Dir. Morrow. He need to let their boss know what the team had decided about their and Ziva's future.

* * *

**Later that afternoon.**

Ziva was at her new desk in the Cold Case Office, reviewing and archiving files.

That morning, she had attended the obligatory sexual harassment course and, when she had returned to NCIS HQ, the Director had told her that she'd be working for a few months on a DCPD/NCIS narcotics suppression joint-investigation. She'd have been part of the night-shift team. _I hate it! Me, a Mossad Officer, forced to work as a cop on the street! This must be Tony's doing!_

Needless to say, she wasn't in the greatest of moods when her thoughts were interrupted by a bellhop who handed her an official NCIS envelope. She thanked him before nervously opening it.

Her eyes widened in disbelief as she exclaimed, "What the hell! Why?!"

Ziva read and reread the sheet of paper in her hands, hoping to see the words change. "You will be permanently reassigned to cold case team. Effective immediately," she breathed in disbelief.

"No way!" the Israeli woman exclaimed as she stood up, grabbed her jacket and bag, and left the office.

_They cannot do that. They can't!_

Ziva wanted to talk to Gibbs and Tony but the boss had been so secretive about their location that the ex-Mossad Officer only knew that they were somewhere in Pennsylvania.

In her angry state, it didn't occur to her that NCIS hadn't told anyone where Tony was because the fewer people that knew about the safe house, the safer the SFA was. She was just thinking about herself and what she saw as a great wrong done to her and her career without any good reason.

_They can't do that to me! I'll get the exact location so I can go there and get this fixed!_

She took the stairs and quickly arrived at the HR office, knowing that Deloris was home with flu and her colleague wasn't smart enough to realize when he was being manipulated.

Ziva took a deep breath to slow her breathing, plastered on one of her most seductive smiles and entered the room. Linus, Deloris' assistant, was alone in the office and, when he saw her, his pale, freckled face lit up.

"What can I do for you, Agent David?" he questioned, leaving his desk and joining her at the counter.

"I need a favor, Linus," she responded, her voice low.

"At your service, my lady," he replied flirtatiously.

"I need to talk to Agent Gibbs. I discovered some new intel about the people who," she lowered her voice for dramatic effect, "are targeting Agent DiNozzo,"

Linus nodded while looking around anxiously as if someone was spying them, though they were completely alone.

"It's imperative that Gibbs knows. But I can't talk to him on the phone—they could intercept the call," she whispered, leaning towards him.

She heard Linus' breathing accelerate and saw his pupils dilate with arousal. _Busted! _She thought.

"What do you need?" he lowered his voice, trying to sound seductive and confident.

"The exact location of the safe house." When she saw hesitation in his expression, Ziva added, "My security clearance has yet to be renewed after…my time away. I'm sure Gibbs would have told me if he could but they left too quickly." She put on her most worried look and added. "It could make the difference between Tony's life or death."

"Oh, my God!" Linus whispered and Ziva gravely nodded.

Linus immediately sat at his desk and started typing furiously on his keyboard. After a few minutes, a map with the exact location of the safe house appeared on his monitor. "I'll print it for you," he said.

"Thank you," Ziva said, standing behind him, a satisfied grin gracing her face.

"Here!" Linus handed her the map. "I hope you'll get to them in time."

"Me too," Ziva nodded, somberly.

"When you get back, we should have a drink together," he offered hopefully.

"Sure," Ziva winked as she left the room. I would not have a drink with even if you were the last man in the world, she thought as she rushed to the parking lot and left the Navy Yard with a screech of tires.

Ziva, as all Gibbs' agents did, kept a bag with clothes, shoes, toothbrush and toothpaste in the truck of her car so she didn't even stop at home, driving straight to the Interstate that would take her to her former team.

In her reckless state of mind, she didn't realize that she could lead their enemies to Tony and put the entire team's lives in danger. She was so trapped in her thoughts that she forgot the basis of her training. She didn't look in the rearview mirror when she got on the I-270 so she didn't notice a nondescript black SUV with tinted windows that had been tailing her since she left the Navy Yard...

TBC

* * *

What is going to happen now?

Please, review and let me know what you think. Thank you :)


	54. Chapter 54

NB: I own nothing of NCIS :(

Thank you to my precious BR, usa123!

And special thanks to all of you, my faithful and patient readers! :)

**_"Regrets and..."_**

_Chapter 53._

"Damn!" Ziva hissed, hitting the steering wheel. A large yellow sign reading 'road closed' was blocking her path. She looked in her rearview mirror and saw other three cars: a red Dodge, a white pick-up and a black SUV.

A man got out of the red Dodge and went to talk to the men working behind the sign. A few minutes later, he came back, shaking his head. Ziva rolled down the driver's side window and asked him what was going on.

"There's a landslide blocking the road," the man explained. "Caused by last night's storm."

"How long before they reopen the road?"

"Two or three days, at least," he grimaced.

"Oh, no," Ziva sighed. "I need to get to my friends." She grabbed the map from the passenger's seat, held it up so the man could see, and pointed at the town closest to Gibbs' cabin. "Do you know another way to get there?"

"I'm sorry. I'm not from this area," he replied. "But there is a gas station two miles back—I guess you saw it." Ziva nodded and he added, "The owner claims he knows every road in the area. I'm sure he can help you, ma'am."

"Thank you so much," Ziva smiled.

"My pleasure." The man touched the brim of his cap as Ziva slid the car into reverse and headed back toward the gas station.

* * *

"Jack, Ducky, this fish is delicious," Tony said as he shoved another forkful into his mouth.

"He's right. It's perfectly cooked and the sauce is fabulous," Tim mumbled around a big piece of bread that he had dipped in a bowl containing oil, parsley, salt, pepper, a bit of garlic, and fish juices.

"Thank you, my dear lads. It's such a pleasure to see you eating with so much gusto," Ducky smiled.

"You caught this big trout so we should thank you, Tony," Jack winked and they all saw Tony blushing.

"And what about the pasta? It was awesome!" Abby bounced up and down on her chair.

"Thanks to Timothy and Jethro's white perch," Ducky praised the other two men who beamed.

"Did you save some for the other agents?" Tony asked. He didn't want the two NCIS Agents who were risking their lives to protect him, to feel excluded from their family.

"Sure did," Jack reassured him. "As soon as they finish their rounds and we lock up the house, Ducky and I will feed them properly."

"Ya know, boss," Tony turned to Gibbs. "I think we could let them go home…" He saw Gibbs slowly turning towards him, "Do not say no without list—"

"No," Gibbs stared him.

"Come on, Gibbs!"

"Tony," McGee whispered, trying to 'save' his friend from their boss' fury, but unfortunately Tony didn't stop.

"If you give me a gun, we could protect ourselves and..."

"DiNozzo," Gibbs warned.

"I know," Tony nodded. "I need to take all the psych evals and weapon safety tests to carry a gun at work, but..."

"'But' nothing!" Gibbs' patience was fading very quickly.

Tim, Abby, Ducky and Jack exchanged quick glances then focused on Tony and Gibbs, two of the most stubborn people any of them had ever met. They knew this argument wasn't going to be over until someone else intervened.

Meanwhile Tony and Gibbs had fallen silent and were continuing their fight through just glares.

Before Tony could respond, Ducky cleared his throat. "Gentlemen. Why don't we save this conversation for later and enjoy the rest of our dinner?"

"Jethro," his father murmured.

"Tony," McGee whispered again.

Neither man turned away until Abby quietly spoke up, "Please,"

Tony and Gibbs stared each other for a few more seconds. Then they both nodded and DiNozzo said, "Okay." He turned to Abby and, in a flash, his smile and happy mood was back.

The conversation resumed as if nothing had happened, but while Abby, Jack, Ducky and McGee were chatting about the things they wanted to do next day, Tony hissed at Gibbs, "This is not over."

"You can bet on that," Gibbs growled.

McGee had heard everything from his place next to Tony and shook his head. _I wonder who's going to win this time..._

* * *

Ziva entered the store, took a sandwich and a bottle of water from the fridge and headed to the cash register.

"Good evening," smiled the white-bearded man.

"Good evening," Ziva replied as she took five dollars from her pocket and handed it to him. "Are you the owner?"

"Yes, I'm Chuck," he nodded as he pointed to the sign on the wall behind him.

"I've been told you know every road in the area," she began.

"You were told correctly. What can I help you find?"

There were other two men in the store. They were both Chuck's longtime friends and they were waiting for him to close up so they could play their weekly poker game at his house, which was behind the store. Because they had lived here their entire lives, they knew everyone who had a place in the area. They had never seen this woman before, so her question piqued their interest.

"I need to see my friends but the main road is closed due to a landslide," Ziva sighed.

"Do your friends have a name?" Chuck joked.

"Gibbs," she answered without thinking that she was revealing too much to a stranger, especially knowing why her friends were hiding in a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

At the name, Chuck opened his mouth, but he immediately closed it as he saw one of his friends, who was standing behind Ziva, shake his head.

"He lives here," Ziva pointed to the map. "Do you know if there is another way to get there?"

Chuck looked at the map and stayed silent for a few minutes, pretending he was thinking about a new way to get Ziva to Gibbs' cabin. In reality, he was just waiting for one of his friends to exit the store.

When the man had left, Chuck started explaining to Ziva how to get to Gibbs' cabin... he just forgot to tell her that the directions he was giving her would make her trip one hour longer.

* * *

Outside the store, Chuck's friend immediately made a call with his cellphone.

The phone in the living room rang and they all looked at each other, both surprised and worried. That phone hadn't rung since they arrived. All communications went through the protected NCIS phone.

"I'll get it," Gibbs said, standing up and heading to the living room.

A few seconds later, they heard him bark, "WHAT?!"

They all left the table and entered the living room just in time to see Gibbs slamming down the receiver and cursing.

"What's going on, Boss?" Tony asked.

"We've got a problem," he answered gravely.

"What happened, Jethro?" Ducky asked.

"That was my Uncle Bob," Gibbs gestured with his head at the phone. "He's at Chuck's store and a pretty foreign woman with long black hair is asking for directions to the cabin."

"What?" Tony and McGee asked in disbelief.

"Who could be? Do you know her?" Jack asked.

"Ziva!" his son, Abby, Tony and McGee answered in unison.

"Doesn't she realize that the guys who are looking for Tony could follow her? Can she actually be that careless?" Jack questioned and received five firm nods.

"What now?" Abby asked, anger present in her tone.

Gibbs took a deep breath. "Uncle Bob said they're going to buy us some time, but we need to get ready for the worst," he answered as he looked at a too-silent Tony. The former Marine had worked with Tony long enough to know that his happy face and relaxed demeanor were often just a façade. Painfully aware of every nightmare Tony had suffered in the last two weeks, Gibbs was not surprised to see a pale Tony staring the wall in front of him as if he were trapped in a bad memory.

The other people in the room followed Gibbs' concerned stare and, when they saw Tony, they exchanged worried looks.

"Anthony, are you alright?" Ducky asked, sotto voce, but received no answer.

Abby, who was standing next to Tony, touched his arm as she whispered his name.

Tony immediately flinched, blinked, and finally refocused on the people around him.

"Anthony..." Ducky tried again.

Suddenly Tony blushed, ashamed of his reaction, and choked out, "Sorry," before hurrying out of the room. His hands and legs were shaking and, if he hadn't used the wall as support, he likely would have fallen down.

"Tony, do you...?" McGee trailed off as Tony shook his head and kept walking. A few seconds later, they heard the door to his room slam shut.

"Gibbs, I didn't mean to scare him," Abby sniffled, on the verge of tears.

"Not your fault, Abs," her boss reassured her. "Give us a minute," he added as he headed to Tony's room.

* * *

Alone in his bedroom, Tony was staring out of the window. He could hear the pounding of his heart echoing in his ears. _I can't... I can't do it again... what if they..._

A soft knock on the door made Tony jump. "Tony, may I come in?" Gibbs asked tentatively.

"Yeah," he answered as he sat up on the bed. When his boss entered, Tony raised his eyes and whispered, "You were right, Boss."

"Right about what?" Gibbs asked as he crouched in front of DiNozzo.

"I'm not ready to carry a gun," Tony admitted sadly, looking down at his shaking hands.

"Why do you think that?" the older man asked patiently while he stood up and sat on the bed next to his SFA.

"Why?!" Tony suddenly raised his voice and stood up. He headed to the window once again, checking the area for possible danger. "Look at me!" he turned to Gibbs. "I almost freaked out at the thought of those bastards following Ziva here!" he shouted.

"Tony, it's normal," Gibbs said gently as he stood up and walked over to his friend.

The older man reached out to touch his shoulder, but Tony stepped back and turned to the window again. Gibbs didn't give up. "You've been through the hell and it takes time to heal, but you'll get through it."

"What if I don't?" Tony murmured.

"You're already doing it," Gibbs answered and Tony snorted, shaking his head in disbelief. "Tony, you're one of the strongest people I've ever met and..."

"Bullsh*t!" Tony snapped.

"Did Ducky say that your concussion is healed?"

"Yes, why?" Tony was taken aback by Gibbs' query, but, before he could ask any further questions, a gentle but firm slap connected his crown. "Ouch! What was that for?!"

"Have I ever lied to you, DiNozzo?"

"No," the SFA choked out.

"So, if I say that you're one of the strongest people I've ever met, I must be telling the truth. Got it?"

"Yes, Boss!"

"Good," Gibbs nodded, tapping his SFA under his chin.

"So... you don't think I'm weak?" Tony asked tentatively as he turned away from the window.

"No, Tony," Gibbs sighed. "A weak man would have died in Mexico. You made it through. Soon you'll be back at NCIS."

"NCIS? You think I can still do my job?" Tony's childlike voice broke Gibbs' heart.

The former Marine looked at the man in front of him for a long moment and saw, not only his SFA and his best friend, but also his son.

Tony was asking for reassurance: he needed Gibbs' strength and faith in him.

"You're the best agent I've ever worked with and..." Gibbs swallowed hard. "Much more," he took Tony's face in his hands and whispered, "Never doubt that, Anthony."

Tony just nodded, a relieved smile gracing his face, his eyes shining with unshed tears. He leaned forward and rested his head on Gibbs' shoulder.

The Marine rested his hand against the back of Tony's head and gently ruffled his hair.

The younger man took a deep breath, feeling the warm of Gibbs' proximity touching his still healing soul.

The sound of a car stopping in front of their cabin ended the Hallmark moment.

"Ready to kick Ziva's a**?" Gibbs whispered.

Tony raised his head, a wide grin splitting his face in two. "Sure!" he responded and headed to the door, followed by a proud Gibbs.

TBC

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter :)


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